The Law and Economics of Lust, Love and Life: October 2005

Do You Know Who You Are?

"The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you."
-Lost in Translation

That's the bigger problem. One of the hardest things in life is to know who you really are and what you want. I personally have no idea WHO I REALLY AM. It's a continuous quest towards that realization or enlightenment. Maybe it's the reason why i easily feel upset when things go wrong. I maybe afraid that things will be too screwed up that it will be hard to go back to the path of tranquility. I wish my stuffed toys will really talk to me. Then i can finally say that im insane. Hollywood style.

ISANG BAGSAKAN NG IMPORMASYON.

You Are 27 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

How You Life Your Life

You tend to deprive yourself of things you crave, for your own good.

You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.

You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.

You tend to always dream of things within reach - and you usually get them.

How Do You Live Your Life?

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.

You tend to give more than take in relationships.

You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Your Birthdate: May 14

With a birthday on the 14th of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them.

You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas, and you are also very good at organization and systematizing.

You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel.

You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable.

Your mind is quick, clever and analytical.

A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine, and rebel against it.

You have a tendency to shirk responsibility.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.

You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.

You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

In a Past Life...

You Were: An Evil Herbalist.

Where You Lived: Ukraine.

How You Died: Natural causes.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Your Hidden Talent

You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words.

You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel.

People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation.

When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable.

You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your brain is always looking for the connections in life.

You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first.

You're also good at connecting people - and often play match maker.

You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

You Are 20% Weird

Not enough to scare other people...

But sometimes you scare yourself.

How Weird Are You?

Your Personality Profile

You are nurturing, kind, and lucky.

Like mother nature, you want to help everyone.

You are good at keeping secrets and tend to be secretive.

A seeker of harmony, you are a natural peacemaker.

You are good natured and people enjoy your company.

You put people at ease and make them feel at home with you.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Your French Name is:

Laetitia Lemaire

What's Your French Name?

A Three-part Monologue for Three Different Butterflies

I talked to a friend today. Someone from a past i'd rather not remember. I dont know why i said yes, or why i even bothered to answer. It just felt right. I know it's wrong but it felt right. I needed to feel the warmth that comes from someone whom, in his most twisted way, cared for me. I AM A MASOCHIST. There, i'm admitting it. I AM AN OPTIMIST. I still believe that things will somehow get better for me. I AM A FOOL. I told myself over and over again that i should never EVER be with someone who can't take care of me nor with someone who needs more caring than i do. I AM FRAGILE. My strength is my weakness. I AM IN DENIAL. I know not of how to admit the fact that i am hurting. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH PAIN YOU CAUSED ME BY NOT SAYING GOODBYE. The more painful fact is that I still want to be there for you. I AM A MARTYR.
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I needed you. I couldnt bear to say it. I told you I dont want to be a burden to anyone. When i saw your name pop out I felt relief. I felt like I can finally talk about the pain that he caused me tonight. But you were in a hurry. I do not blame you. I just thought you need to know. I NEEDED YOU. It's not an "I NEED YOU I WANT YOU TO BE ALWAYS THERE" stint, it's an "I NEED YOU BECAUSE I TRUST YOU" situation. PLease don't let go of the friendship. Please dont make me go through this again.
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Masaya ako na tumawag ka. Salamat dahil sa lahat-lahat ng mga taong pwede mong kausapin, ako ang napili mo. Gusto kitang puntahan, akapin at sabihin sayo na pinapangiti mo ko. Hindi ako nagkamali nang pinili kong maging kaibigan ka isang taon na ang nakakaraan. Siguro nga ganito lang tayo, magkaibigan na nanonood ng sine, magkaibigan na nagkakape, magkaibigan na nagtatawagan pag may nakakatawang nangyayari, magkaibigan na nag-uusap pag nakakaramdam ng takot, magkaibigan na kumakanta ng walang humpay at sumasayaw sa kabila ng mga problema sa buhay. Magkaibang-magkaiba ang mundo natin pero tuwing magkasama tayo, nabubuo ang isang bagong mundo na tayo lang ang nakatira. Aaminin ko na, mabait ka talaga. Sinasabi ko lang na masama ka dahil gustong-gusto kong nakikita ang kunot sa noo mo habang pinagtatanggol mo ang sarili mo. Masyadong mapula ang mga labi mo, pag nag-uusap tayo siguro napapansin mo na napapatingin ako. Wag kang mag-alala, wala akong balak na halikan ka. Tama nang ang mga pisngi lang natin ang nagtatama. SALAMAT dahil sa ngayon, ikaw naman ang nagpapangiti sa krung-krung mong kaibigan na umiibig nanaman yata. Wag ka na muna mambabae, ako na lang muna ang babae mo. Bagay naman tayo e.

The Quest for the Missing Tsinelas

“Ang tunay na pag-ibig ay parang tsinelas, gaano mang karami ang sapatos na dumaan, ang tsinelas parin ang iyong babalik-balikan…”

Nahanap mo na ba ang tsinelas mo? Ako hindi pa.

Madami nang nagdaan na sapatos sa buhay ko, ung iba nakatago parin hanggang ngayon sa bodega. Di ko maitapon-tapon kahit na alam ko namang di ko na iyon magagamit. Tulad nun combat boots na ginamit ko noong COCC palang ako sa hayskul. Ang combat boots ay kumakatawan sa kanya na matagal nang nandiyan. Alam kong ayaw ko nang gamitin pero dahil sa sobrang dami nang alaala na nagawa naming kasama ang isa’t-isa, kung minsan ay bigla na lamang akong napapadpad sa bodega para tignan at balikan ang mga alaala.

Meron naman akong isang sapatos na sobra sa kabaduyan. Noong binili ko yun, lahat ng tao sinasabi sa akin na di sya maganda. Pero matigas ang ulo ko, sa aking pananaw, ako ang makakapagpabago sa kaniya. Akala ko pag ako na ang nagsuot ay magmumukha na syang sosyal, di bakya. Wala akong pakialam sa sasabihin ng iba, gusto ko siyang suotin. Pero pagkatapos ng maraming kahihiyan, sumuko din ako. Natanggap ko din na di lahat ng sapatos bagay sa akin.

Meron din namang sapatos na gustong-gusto ko pero di ko mabili-bili. Ito yun tipo ng sapatos na alam kong mas bagay sa ibang paa. Iyong tinitignan ko na lang mula sa malayo. Sapatos na kahit kalian ay di ko mabibili dahil masyado mahal o di lang talaga maganda tignan sa paa ko.

Meron akong paboritong sapatos. Ung kahit na ilang beses na nasira, pinipilit ko parin ipagawa. Kahit na gaano na katagal at kahit na marami na gasgas, sa paningin ko ay nakakapagpasaya parin ito sa akin. Sya ang sapatos na minsan masakit isuot, pero kahit ganun sinusuot ko parin dahil alam kong maganda. Nasasaktan man ako ay di ko inaalintana dahil sa paningin ng iba, ito ay ang sapatos na pinakanararapat sa akin. Gusto ko rin naman pero may mali. May kulang na “oomph” kumbaga.

Masarap din sa paa ang sneakers. Pang-harabas na masasabi. Ito yung kapag may gagawin ka na kakailanganin ng lakas e sinusuot mo. Ito un ginagamit mo pag sawa ka nang masaktan. Ito un ginagamit mo pag gusto mo lang na may masuot kasi sa kanya ka pinakakumportable. Ito yung nagpupuno sa kawalan ng tsinelas sa buhay mo. Ito yung kahit na alam mo na sa katapusan ay mawawala din sya at mapupudpod at darating din ang panahon na di mo na siya masusuot dahil napagod na rin sya ay inaasahan mo parin. Mawawala rin sya dahil ayaw na rin niya na maging panakip-butas lang sa mga pangangailangan ng paa mong pagod na.

Yan ang storya ng paa ko.Marami nang kalyo, marami nang gasgas pero patuloy parin sa paglakad. Kahit na ilang beses na nasasaktan, tuloy parin sa pagsuot ng mga sapatos na mukhang magtatagal. Kahit na di ganun kaperpekto ay patuloy parin sa paghahanap ng sapatos na maglalabas ng kagandahan na di na masyadong nakikita.

Sa tingin ko walang masama sa pagsusuot ng sapatos. Ang tsinelas naman kasi masyadong mahiyain, masyadong tahimik. Yung iba nahanap na nila ang tsinelas nila, pero ako umaasa parin na balang-araw, ang tsinelas na un ay bigla ko na lang makikita habang naglalakad-lakad ako at patuloy na hinaharap ang mabakong kalsada ng buhay. Pero habang wala pa siya ok lang. Marami pa namang sapatos na magtatakip ng kalungkutan at kapaguran ng mga paang ito.

Destructive Optimism

jersee_d_goddess :they're not supposed to drain you, they're supposed to give you more life. kids are still kids, they have this aura of peacefulness that emanates from em
jomitorrijos: optimistic ka noh?
jersee_d_goddess: uhmm, at times. pero kids kasi, i love bein around them,
jomitorrijos: i guess when you are sick youll understand that it’s very hard. very very hard and depressing.healthy kids are far from sick kids i felt the difference. sorry dark yung mood ko. i just listened to the care eh from the radio
jersee_d_goddess: im sorry. i guess im too delusional. and i guess i dont really understand. but if there's something i know, even sick kids have a different perspective.
jomitorrijos: well im not generalizing din naman. and there’s always a different perspective on everything
jersee_d_goddess: i feel so shallow tuloy.
jomitorrijos: each kid is unique diba. so maybe. i only have theories. i am a contradicting theorist.
jersee_d_goddess: we all have theories. and u know,they dont need you to be depressed for them. :)

I don't need people to be depressed for me. I'd like to think that my life is still "less than perfect" and that i should be happy. After all, nobody’s perfect. Everytime I get the chance, I pray to God for contentment. But at times I feel that it's so hard to compromise the concept of contentment with the concept of aspiration. When do you draw the line between being happy with what you have and wanting more? I have all these things that I still continue to ask for but when can you say that enough is enough? It’s so hard to be an optimist when you’re surrounded by so much pessimism. Yet, I’m also scared that my optimism is purely superficial, that I am optimistic because I’m outside the real world. It’s like I’m just window shopping and all I do is look and make conclusions about what I see inside a store that I refuse to enter.

Prelude to the TSINELAS AT SAPATOS entry.

"Ang tunay pag-ibig ay parang tsinelas, kahit na gaano kadami ang sapatos na dumaan... hahanap-hanapin mo parin ang tsinelas."

kay: naku yunis..isang paalala lang...SAPATOS PA RIN SHA, SA AKING PANANAW
jersee: hahha.. wag ka mag-alala Kay. kung sakali man na sapatos parin sya, at least isa syang "kikay" na sapatos. in other words, isa sa mga faves ko.
smyle_khyle : tsktsktsk. maswerte siyang sapatos
kay: yan ba ay tulad ng pink na sapatos na kahit masira ay pilit mong ipapaayos para mgamit uli? o after masira, tapon agad?
jersee: uhmm... un pink kong sapatos na nasira ay nanjan lang, nakatago.. pag may time ako papaayos ko. so ganun din un, pag may "time" pa ako, pwde pa ko mag-stay.
kay: nakuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
jersee: unless makabili na ko ng bagong sapatos na mas gusto ko.
kay: gumaya ka kasi sakin...nahanap ko agad ang tsinelas..bwahahahaha
jersee: e malapit na ko mag-shopping ulit..
kay: napakamatalinhaga ng ating conversation
jersee: este nagwi-window shopping na uli ako
kay: baka naman nakapgshop ka na, anjan na si ***** eh...wehehehe
smyle_khyle : bakit ka magwiwindow shopping??
jersee: kasi naman, di pa kasi ako "tsinelas" person..
smyle_khyle: really
kay: bakit window shopping lang?
jersee: haha si ****? isa lang syang comfy na sapatos.
kay: bilhin mo na!
smyle_khyle: what made you say that dahan dahan lang kay
jersee: un tipong sneakers, di ako mahilig pero pag tinatamad ako magstilettos sya sinusuot ko
kay: comfy na sapatos? e di sha yung pangmatagalan
smyle_khyle : true
jersee: ang sya naman nito, gagawa ako ng entry tungkol dito.
smyle_khyle : pero, ang pangit kasi kung sawa ka na, dun ka lang babalik
jersee_d_goddess : un sneakers naman kasi, un talaga un papel sa buhay ko. at lam naman nya un. we just hangout. we "chill"
jersee: at kaya di ko pa nahahanap ang tsinelas ko, kasi nga sapatos parin ang hilig ko sa ngayon.
smyle_khyle : no more no less
jersee: shit, mas madali intindihin ang lovelife pag ganito. that explains why marami na ako kalyo.. kasi puro"sapatos" sinusuot ko. kung nakita ko na ang tsinelas, maghihilom na un mga kalyo.
kay: naku, tumatanda ka na..kelangan comfortable na ang mga ginagamit mo, yung hindi nasstrain ang muscles mo..dapat tsinelas na
jersee: haha.
smyle_khyle: tama
kay: ang weird ng usapan natin bakit ka napapagod sa mga nakaw na sandali?hehe
jersee: ibig ko sabihin, di na ganun ka-exciting. ang predictable na kasi.
kay: naku....di ba ganun naman ang sapatos...habang tumatagal..na-aanticipate mo na ang feeling kapag isusuot mo sha...
smyle_khyle : w8. seryoso. no more ****?
jersee: ha?
smyle_khyle : give up ka na k sa KANYA?
jersee: im gonna stop whining over "US".kasi it's not helping. if something's gonna happen, then something's gonna happen. napansin ko lang kasi na halos lahat ng mga entries ko tungkol na sa kanya.
smyle_khyle : okay. was there ever an us?
jersee: sya pinanggagalingan ng negativity. haha

its really hard to go on living while loving someone secretly, it hurts to see the one you love happy with someone else...but the most painful thing about hidden love? (after a long pause....) it never fades away...

BLast from the Past

pic #1: "lovers" Mirla and Modex w/ Mr. "im in Love" Gerald - pic#2: the gigolo / pic#3: lovebirds Paul and Ivee w/ Leida

Last night, i met up with people whom i haven't seen in ages. My highschool friends. The whole idea started when Mirla and I bumped into each other online. She updated me with the "latest news" about my highschool acquaintances. Most of the news were kind of disappointing, and because we got caught up in the "reminiscing mood" we decided to have dinner. She texted everyone and a few chosen ones replied. Thus, the dinner date with 'em.

pic#1: former seatmates Leids, Yunis and Mir / pic#2: B1 at B2

As usual they went to my house. It's a tradition, we either meet up here or at Ivee's. It's hard to explain why, but that's just how things are. We waited for Leida and then went straight to Pancake House Rockwell where the lovebirds Ivee and Paul were waiting for us. I was with Leida, Gerald and the going strong couple, Mirla and Josepher. We were all kind of "sabik" sa isa'isa. Ang saya. After a sumptuous dinner and a very comprehensive discussion about politics, showbusiness, other people's lives, school rivalry at whatever's we went to.......... STARBUCKS. Nabigla kayo ano? haha.

We talked about going into a business venture since we all came into an agreement that Taguig is fastly developing and that there is no way we'll be leaving our beloved "NOW A CITY" haha. I suggested that we build a prostitution den with Gerald as our first and only gigolo. Why not diba? Leida told us that Angelo underwent an operation to take his tonsils out. OH well. I miss that guy. My childhood crush. Ngii ang petty. We also talked about our "other friend" whose now living in with his 3-month pregnant girlfriend. Sadness pero it's his life. At si Gerald, he's allegedly "in Love". That's a FIRST. haha. Just kiddin bro. All in all t'was a really fun fun fun night. I had no idea that i missed them sooo much. We decided to make this whole getting together a more "regular" thing so next Saturday, i'm playing badminton with them. Woohoo. Excited na ako. Kay saya talaga dahil Sembreak.

THANK YOU BUTTERFLY.

Why is happiness such a fleeting emotion? I went home happy. I slept with a heavy heart. I cannot share what made me cry last night, i only told one friend. I dunno, i guess i am embarassed that my life's not perfect. I guess im scared that if people'll start knowin how screwed some aspects of my life are, they'll stop loving me. Thank YOU for being a friend. Thank you. I can never thank you enough. You taught me that it's ok to share your problems with friends.

I HAVE A NEW LOVER.

His name's RT. I have long waited for someone who will make me stop from talking. Someone who will bring out the submissive part of me. Someone who will help me become a better person and i finally found him... RT. Rotary Torso. The most intimidating machine in Fitness First. haha.

Yeah, i went to the gym today with three of the Senior partners of Duh Perm, THE SHIFTEES [why? I'll explain later]. I told 'em, "I'm submissive today." I ALMOST didnt come. THe rain was pouring hard and it was awfully hard for me to get out of bed. But according to Grace Slick, "No matter how big or soft or warm your bed is... you STILL have to get out of it." Bravo! Buti na lang Melo called, i was compelled to wake up.

Shemps i took the cab to The Fort. At take note, isang mapagmarunong ang driver. Therefore mali ang aming inikutan. Haay. Kamusta naman ang field trip to The Fort db? Anyway, i arrived at Fitness just in time for the Latin Groove class. It was so much fun. It's just sad na wala akong totoong gym attire so un sweat pants ko ay halos nalalaglag. Ang poor. Sobrang cute ni Yvie nun nakarating kami sa "Face the Mirror" part of the class. I will never forget her hirit, "Ang motivation ko habang nagc-class ay fetuccine." MALI ITO.

We danced for an hour, nonstop. I missed dancing. Then GYM PROPER. More like kwentuhan proper. At nakilala ko na nga si RT. I was "moaning" while i was riding him. Napalayo tuloy si Yvie at Melo habang si Mumiel ay busy sa kanyang leg press. THen it's stretching time. Yvie and I achieved something. We know where to get the sound effect of a freaky door opening (just in time for halloween)... sa STrETCHINE [ stretching machine]! I swear, ganun un tunog nya while we were riding it. Bwahahaha.

Perpetual kwentuhan sa locker room. Mas matagal pa yata un pags-stay namin sa Locker room kesa sa mismong pag-gym. ANdami napagkwentuhan na mahirap banggitin dito dahil.... may imminent danger. Harhar. So shower time na. LSS: By the Time this Night is Over by Peabo Bryson. SHemps naalala ko nanaman "SIYA" na hindi ako tinext ng dalawang araw na. Ayaw na nya sakin. HMmp. Drama. ANg tagal mag-shower ni MUMIEL! At Pink club nanaman kami paglabas namin ng shower.

After Gym-ing, we decided to try this Chinese Resto somewhere in The Fort. I do not remember the name of the resto and i do not know how to pronounce it plus i shall not give them AD SPACE in my blog because the service WAS HORRIBLE. And to think na kami lang ang customer. Argh. Mongkok parin at LuK Yuen hahahaha. At just when Mumiel was really really hungry, her order took forever to come. It was just Beef and Oyster sauce. Oh well.

Shem and I decided to "chill" at our HOUSE, Starbucks Loft while she was waiting for her sister. Kwento-kwento. At bigla na lamang akong tinawagan ni Jeifet. They're coming daw. Therefore, hanggang gabi pa ako. Dumating si AM, Abby, Japhet and Paula. Hay i miss 'em. Kwento-kwento. At iyon ang aking buong araw.

Zorrito My Love III.

Sa wakas at nakasakay na ng Cab. Napaisip ako tuloy, mabilis bang kumalat ang balita sa community ng mga cab drivers na nakiki-text kami ni Jason dahil wala kaming load? haha. Sa loob ng cab ay di parin ako binigo ng dalawa. Napatawa nanaman nila ako dahil sa kanilang mga jokes. Jason, wag ka mag-alala, funny ka parin kahit na feeling mo wala kang comic-timing. Ang adorable talaga nitong dalawang lalaking ito. Sa sobrang kakornihan nila, binuksan ni Manong Driver bigla un radyo ng cab nya. Guys, get the hint daw. Haha.

Sa wakas nakarating din sa Meralco Cheter este Theater. Napansin namin na magarbong-magarbo ang mga ilaw sa loob ng Meralco. Diba dapat nagtitipid ng kuryente? At meron isang seryosong tanong na nabuo sa aming isipan, ang Meralco Theater ba ay nagbabayad pa ng electric bill sa Meralco? Ang redundant diba? Sa dinami-dami ng mga memories na maaalala nila, ang naalala nila ay ung time na nadapa ako sa Ateneo sa harap ng mga cute guys. Thanks guys. Sabi nga ni Angel magkakaiba ang attire namin, siya ang nag-aalok ng credit card, ako ang donya at si Jason ang highschool guy. Therefore, kami ni ANgel ang mag-asawa at anak namin si Jason. Bwahahaha... happy family. Uhm, di ako handa. Nakapambahay lang ako. =P

We waited for the members of Duh Perm, Melo, Yvie and Shem... Yvie was with Nes (her bestfriend, i think) and Shem was with her highschool bestfriend (sorry i forgot her name) and the bestfriend's pamangkin. Ako? I was with my "hot dates" Angel and Jason. Naks! Hintay hintay sa lobby. PHOTO OP. I swear, we're so narcissistic,haha. Pasok sa loob, may free coffee. Great. The best way to aggravate my hyperacidity. Photo OP uli. Time for the Movie. FINALLY.

The movie was funny. Keri lang. Tawa kami ng tawa kasi andami namin kababawan na naiisip. At higit sa lahat, magandang maganda talaga un pwesto namin. Nakatagilid kami. Parang magpapakuha ng picture. Laughtrip talaga. Pero ano ang pinaka-ok na mga ideas na naisip namin? READ On.

1. Sa tingin namin, shining moment talaga ung time na NANLAKI ang MATA nun horse ni Zorro. Parang biglang naisip nun horse, "Pakshet, andami ko na nalagpasa, sa tunnel lang ako mapipisot? Damn!"

2. Sa tingin namin, ang tawagang MY LOVE ang pinakapangit na tawagan ng magkasintahan. Ito ang magiging dahilan ng paghihiwalay ng magkasintahan sa sobrang kakornihan ng tawagan na ito. At, naisip namin si Ruby ang Bidang Kontrabida. MY LOVE ang tawagan nla ni Hector diba? Nakakadiri talaga. Therefore, MY LOVE na ang tawagan namin ni Angel at Jason.

3. Sa tingin namin, dapat na ituro sa mga tao na if by any chance ay may parating na train at nakaharang sila dun... TUMABI AT WAG MAG-PANIC lalong wag ugaliin na nanagpapaikot ikot dun lang sa spot na tatamaan ng train. Wag din tumunganga. Wag din i-try magpahabol sa train. Argh. Kasi kahit gaano ka kabilis tumakbo, mahahabol ka ng train.

4. Sa tingin namin ay dapat na basagan na ang anak ni Zorro na ZORRITO. O diba? Sosyal n sosyal. Kaano-ano nya si Zorrito Solis? E si Ana Zorrito Diaz? =P Nung narinig ko itong Zorrito, forever na ko tumatawa. Tapos parang naririnig ko na Zorrito! (tono ni Pepe) haha.

After the flick ay kinailangan na naming magkanya-kanya ng landas. Si Angel ay may sundo. Kami ni Jason at Mel ay sumakay kay Shem. Nauna na rin sila Yvie. Hinatid si Mel sa condo. Balik Makati. Balik ng realidad. Oooh btw, we passed by Capone's. LITERAL. Shem drove to Valero st. and we passed by Capone's. Ang creepy no? Para kaming stalker. haha.

Wawa naman ang aking "ka-date" na si Jason so we passed by Starbucks to get something to eat, i know he's starving. Dapat nga Goodearth, pero close na. We stayed there for a while. Kwentuhan nanaman. Kinakabahan nga pala sya dahil sa grades nya. Aww, im sure you'll do great sweetie. Ako nga rin kabado e. Pero kaya natin ito. Tapos we went home na. Sobrang sulit ng araw na ito. Ang saya-saya.
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Btw, thanks to Jots for the "pseudo-pasalubong"... Ang sarap nun mga durian candies na galing Zamboanga dahil sa mom mo na galing sayo na galing ng La Union. Pag gising ko kaninang umaga, un ang nilantakan ko kasi na-depress ako na mag-isa lang ako sa bahay. Kelangan ko tuloy ng matamis. Nakatulong ka.. hehe.

ZOrrito My Love II

Ayun na nga, nakitext kami sa driver ng Cab... When we finally got to China Bank in Paseo, we went straight to the lobby. I walked straight to sorta look for Angel. At hinarang kami ng guard. "Sino pong hinahanap nyo?" At si Jason naman ay biglang sumagot, "Si Angel Sembrano po." As if naman kilala sya ng guard ano? Haha. Lauhgtrip muli. So wala na lang ako nasabi kundi, "Sige po hanapin na lang po namin sya sa kabila."Therefore, naglakad nanaman kami ni Fafa Jason upang hanapin si Angel. At dahil nga wala kaming load ay umasa kami sa swerte. Lakad, lakad. But no, nasa harapan lang pala si Angel, sa may.. SURPRISE! Starbucks. Ngii. Hanggang sa Paseo, Starbucks parin. Hug hug, kiss kiss. Kailangan ni Jason mag-washroom, pumasok kami ng one week-old na Starbs China Bank, at... WALANG WASHROOM. Bwahaha.

Hulaan nyo kung saan kami nagwashroom? Jollibee. Sosyal. At wala talaga kaming binili. Pano ba naman si Angel, puro credit card ang dala. Hay naku. So hinintay namin si Jason sa harap ng Jollibee. ANg funny.Tapos we went on a journey to find LOAD. Lahat kami ay walang load, kamusta naman? 7-11. NAgbibiruan kami ni Angel na bibili kami ng Tagalog pocketbooks para may mabasa bago mag-start un flick. Maling-mali. What are the chances na mali un pinilahan namin para sa load? Hay naku.

Ok na, papunta na kami ng Meralco Theater. Maghahanap na lang ng cab. NA LANG pala ha! Ayun, after 10 years.. some buckets of sweat sa paglalakad at matagal na paghihintay sa harap ng China Bank.. WALA PARING CAB. Oh well. May dalawang cab na tumanggi. Kasi naman si ANgel, sa uninhabited place pa napiling mag-abang. Habang napaka-busy ng kabilang street, sa street na tinigilan namin ay panaka-naka lang ang sasakyan. Bwahahahahaha...

To be continued.

Zorrito My Love.

Isang nakakatawa at nakakatuwang araw. Sabi ko na nga ba at magiging laughtrip ito. Kanina bago ako umalis ng bahay ay nagsusulat ako ng entry para sabihin kung gaano ako kasaya na magkikita kami ni "Spontaneous Jason" at "Bratinello Angel".. NGUNIT NAWALAN NG KURYENTE. O diba laughtrip agad?

Jason and I decided to meet up around 3 pm. I told him to text me if he's on his way na so i can leave na my house. So when Jason texted me na he's on his way na, that's when i began to change clothes and get ready to go to Powerplant. We know each other too well, alam kong di totoong on his way na sya. As usual, nauna nanaman si Jason sa Starbucks... Un cab driver ko, natripan pa makipagchikahan sakin tungkol sa EVAT. At in fairness to him, napatawa rin nya ako. Pagdating ko ng Starbucks ay wala ang anino ni Jason. But noooooooooooo! Maling Starbucks ang pinuntahan nya. Argh. Sa may Starbs Powerplant sya nagpunta... therefore pinapunta ko sya sa Starbs Loft. Nakakatawa nanaman diba?

Kwentuhan ever. Gaya ng dati talagang di nanaman namin namalayan ang oras ng nagkukuwentuhan kami. Ito ay habang pinipilit este pine-pressure namin si Einj na sumama na sa Premiere night ng Legend of Zorro. Ito pa pala segue, the whole time sinasabi ko na The Mask of Zorro ang title ng flick, therefore pinahiya ko ang sarili ko. THe Legend of Zorro ito. Mabalik tayo, kwento kwento kami. Naks DATE nanaman! haha. Hanggang sa napilit na namin si Angel na sumama, pero susunduin namin siya sa China Bank. Payn. Umalis kami ng Starbs around 5:15. Maling mali kasi "uwian time" sa makatuwid, TRAFFIC ng sobra! So, matagal nanaman ang bonding moments namin ni Jeiz.

We were texting Angel.. first text sabi namin dadating na kami in 5 minutes, pero kakalabas pa lang ng cab namin sa Rockwell nun. Two minutes, nasa Jupiter pa lang kami. I know naman na alam na ni Angel un, sanay na un samin. Tapos after a few minutes, nagtext na si Einj, mejo nagb-bratinello. At, what are the chances na sabay kami ni Jeiz mauubusan ng load? you know what we did? NAKITEXT KAMI SA DRIVER NG CAB. Ayon kay Jason, "Manong patext po. Isa lang po." The MANONG DRIVER happily obliged. Ako ang nagtext kay Angel, "ANgel, phone ni manong driver ito, parating na kami, sobrang traffc lang.. hintayin mo kami sa may lobby." Tama ba na makitext sa CAB DRIVER???? Minsan lang ako mahiya, pero nahiya talaga ako. haha....

To BE CONTINUED...

Im Looking Forward to...

thanks to postsecret

I have nothing left to say. I'm exhausted. This is the last time i'm gonna whine over the uncertainty of this whole mess that we're in. I am moving forward. I am not leaving you behind but I am not gonna carry you. If you wanna walk beside me, then do so. If you wanna look at me from afar, then be it. I said yes to the date proposals, they're not indefinite anymore. It's not that you're not special, i just dont want to restrict myself from looking at other options, especially now that i'm getting tired of pretending... and you're not giving me things that i can hold on to.

If there's anyone i would wanna hold hands with, you know that it's you. Just ask. But then again, you're not you and i'm not sure if i am me. I think it's me who's digging deeper as of the moment. Tell me to stop and I will or maybe I wont. Either way, I WILL STILL SEE YOU AROUND.

The Strangeness of Men err.. a Man.

“Men are very strange… They can beat you up, shout at you, threaten you and yet they’re scared to death of women really. Perhaps not the woman they married, but there’s always one woman who frightens them and forces them to submit to her caprices. Even if it’s their own mother.”
--Eleven Minutes, Paulo Coelho

Do I frighten you? Don’t you think I’m worth the risk? Well, I think you are. Despite all the analysis, all the looking at other options… today, I found myself thinking of what’s stopping you, me… us. Yeah, you annoy me at times, you make me roll my eyes, you make my friends roll their eyes, you are clueless, you offend me with your insensitive comments and ways but I still think you’re cute. As cute as the first time I decided that you are cute. Yes, you are strange. You don’t beat me up, you don’t shout at me, in fact you are too quiet, but you still intimidate me. You scare me because you are different. You are able to look at me straight in the eyes; you are able to share with me my passion for words. And yeah, your lips look good.

Japh: Mahal mo na ba?
Eunice: Wala pang pagmamahal na involved.
Japh: Mahal mo na no? Nakikita mo ba ang sarili mo na nagkikiss kayo?
Eunice: Ano ba ito. (sigh of resignation)

So there, my sem break already started. I got around three date proposals since Friday. All of ‘em want to either have dinner with me, watch a flick or drink coffee. To my mind I said, “Been there, done that.” I said an indefinite yes to all of ‘em. Why indefinite? Just in case.

Evil Prevails.

Some say that evil prevails when good men fail to act. But the truth is…EVIL prevails.
-Nicolas Cage, Lord of War

Does evil really prevail? When you look around you, I’m sure you are tempted to just nod at the suggestion that it does. How can you compromise the prevalence of good with the reality of suffering and injustice? How do you make yourself maintain that belief in the power of God when all around you, you see an infinite number of people whom while waiting for their own miracles, only experience more misery? I will not pretend, I know not of how difficult life can really get. I cannot fully comprehend why evil seems to have triumphed over good in the eyes of a lot of people. All I know is that I still believe. There is no explanation; I just choose to still believe. Evil doesn’t prevail, it’s just more flamboyant.

I don’t want to be remembered if being remembered means getting killed.
-Nicolas Cage, Lord of War

I was talking with my friend Japhet a few nights before, and we got into a discussion of how complicated our lives have become. Is there really a proliferation of suicidal men and women in this generation? I got into thinking of how dreadful the world has become when I heard this from a friend, “If I die tonight, it’s ok. I am ok with the idea of not waking up tomorrow.” I got alarmed because I was unconsciously nodding. I know I said I’m not suicidal, but there is a thin line between suicide and natural death. It’s so thin that I don’t think anyone will really know the difference. In the end, the people who love you will grieve over your death and those who don’t will attend your funeral, will dress in black but will never care.

Ang Pag-ibig.. BOW.

paloys : wala ka bang bufra diyan sa ateneo
jersee_d_goddess: nakupo, walang time.
jersee_d_goddess: (shit ako ba tlga nagsabi nun?)
paloys: ano ba, hanap ka ng boys. kaloka, hindi hinahanapan ng time yan
jersee_d_goddess : hahaha.. oo nga. mas importante ang boyps ano?
paloys :

ang relasyon, para yang tita na galing abroad. bigla na lang babandera sa buhay ng mga kamag-anak niya sa pilipinas."

ayun. sounds like Dubai.

Let's take it from the expert, Ateneo School of Law's Dr. Love a.k.a. Pepeng Kuryente:

"ang pag-ibig ay parang magnanakaw sa gabi.."

"Ang tunay na pag-ibig ay parang tsinelas.. sa dinami-rami ng sapatos,, babalik-balikan at hahanap-hanapin mo parin ang tsinelas.."

Need i say more? hehe.