The Day After...

... what shall be remembered as our last Midterms day.

We had to go to class at 12 noon still. Yep, This is Sparta, este (ang slapstick) Law School. No time for long breaks and celebrations. Anyway. These are the things that I was writing in my notebook while the discussion of Provisional Remedies was playing in the background.

"Your hands are warm... it may be that your heart is cold."
My prof quoted a dean whom he had to talk to regarding a case he was handling. Our instinct was to hold our hands and test if they're warm or cold. Mahirap na. Ninang Nikki had cold hands, uyy warm heart. At ako... WARM HANDS. Therefore.

Which leads me to a sort of summary of: what we decided to talk about last night. Present and past loves. The ability to move on without closure and finding it in your heart to forgive that one person whom you have given everything to only to be left cynical and well, a tad bit short of being frigid. (Haha, I just had to include that word Japhet).But the thing is, in the end, you always end up in a way better place. Whether we like it or not, we end up being in better places because a place becomes better when we become better persons. The ability to find happiness, contentment and well, love becomes not a task but a happy vacation full of stopovers and a lot of time for camwhoring. When you are able to look back at the places you visited and the pictures that are posted in the photoalbums of today (translation: Multiply, Friendster, Facebook, insert name of a social networking site), you don't feel the pain anymore. You only are reminded of good times. And i guess, it,'s quite a clear sign that finally, you are happy.

JOKE BREAK:
Prof: Class, have you heard of BPI Leasing?
Euns: (naisip) Kaanu-ano kaya nya si Gary? (Hopefully na-gets nyo. Haha)

Last night really was a night of being in the hotseat. I was more than happy to answer queries about "stuff" from my closest of friends. They raised a lot of valid points and well, i wouldn't be friends with them if they don't know me that well. YET.

I am happy. I really am. Done with hurting, with complications and a lot of what could've been's..I have been found. Not only by someone, but I have been found by me.

And that's more than worth everything.

FLY AGAIN

When I Say Closure...

... I mean CLOSURE.

Last night, we fulfilled Mr. Ogie Fermo's now infamous line, "Gusto ko na matapos ang Finals, gusto ko na ng closure!" We drank and stayed until almost 4 in the morning. We really closed not only Good Earth, not only the whole of Block 9 but the whole of Rockwell. O diba? We occupied three tables in Good Earth, drank to our hearts' content and talked about anything and everything under the higad-infested trees. Nilamok nga lang si Ces, mag-isa. Weird.

We talked about a lot of things. In the beginning, our conversation was about tiktik, tiktik sa bubong ng kapitbahay, manananggal, manananggal in catsuit, manananggal with aeon flux's haircut, manananggal with drills in Manila, aswang, dwende, white lady, pink lady, wrapper ng yema na pang-detect ng pink lady, "watch your back" game, cupping the balls game, itlog na dinala ni Ana, itlog na binili ni Hazel, crush ko, ni Ipe, ni Mel, ni Joan, ni Hazel... Kung gaano ka-hot si REP, at kung gaano kabait si PRES. Nang bandang gabi na, we talked about the beach, landian, tagaytay, landian, summer, landian, isaw, landian, arroz caldo, landian, sexual harassment, indecent proposals, lifestyle changes, siraan ng damit, agressive sexual behavior...

Special thanks to that guy who hugged me and said, "It's okay Euns, not all guys are like that." I still have faith in some men, one of them is you mahfriend. =P

When the only people left were Haze, Toi, Rach, Ces and me... we talked about religion, spirituality, faith in people, the one that got away, the one who left, "the one", the better flame, the worst flame, the search for the best flame and how hard it is to find the eternal flame.

QUOTABLE QUOTES:

Ces: Euns, ang masasabi ko lang... sa lahat-lahat ng mga naging guys mo, sya lang, si Tinky lang ang taas ang kamay ko. Iba ka eh pag sya. Nakalimutan mo nga si Better Flame ngayong gabi dahil lang sa kanya e.
Haze: He was perfect. I think, for you, he's the one that got away.
Toi: Is he the one that got away or the one who left you?
Euns: [waaaaaaaaah] Yeah, he's the only person in law school whom I can honestly say that I really loved. But the timing was just wrong and we would only work CETERIS PARIBUS.
Everyone: [blank stare]
Euns: Holding all things constant.

Euns: [after sabihin kung sino]
Toi: Maghanap ka na lang ng iba.
Euns: Un eh. So, wala kami chance.
Toi: I just don't see you guys together. I don't see it happening.
Euns: Ok, the search for the best flame starts now.

Euns: Maghanap na lang tayo ng Eternal Flame.
Haze: Un nga ang pinakamahirap hanapin e.
Euns: Hello! Un kaya ang pinakamadali, go to HELL! Duh.

So last night was a blast... special thanks to Shem who was our special guest for the night. I missed her. Sayang nga di kumpleto ang "washroom girls".

The next day.

[while pretending to do something inside the Computer Room]
Anonymous Friend: Gusto ko ngang magsulat ng thesis e... about un liability ng mga taong nagc-conceal ng homosexuality nila.
Euns: Hayup.
ANonymous Friend: Oo, isang buong chapter dun tungkol lang sa'yo.
----
[di pa dun natapos]
Anonymous: Alam ko na kung bakit mainit ang dugo mo sakin!
Euns: Bakit?
Anonymous: Kasi lalaki ako. You're discriminating against straight men!
Euns: Langya ka talaga.

----

CLOSURE NA ITO!!!!!! HOPEFULLY after SUMMER kami na ang PORCHIR! WOOHOO! PORCHIR NA KAMI...

Ok Lang Ako

Haze: Euns, malungkot ka ba?
Euns: Ha? Di naman.
Haze: Marami kasi nagtatanong kung bakit mukha ka malungkot e.
Euns: Ok lang ako. [smiles]
Ces: Ok lang sya.
----------------
Pat: Si Aj, tinatanong nya sakin kung may problema ka daw.
Euns: Ha? Bakit?
Pat: Sabi nya lagi ka daw nya nakikita na parang malungkot ka.
EUns: Di naman.. ok lang ako.
Pat: I know you're ok, pero parang may mga times na malungkot ka, na tulala kang may iniisip. Sabi nga ni Ces ok ka lang daw.
Euns: Ok lang ako.
Pat: It's weird kasi parang... mas matagal ngayon kesa sa Neverland.
Euns: I'm ok. Don't worry.
----------------

EUns: [sings I FInally Found Someone]
Ipe: Wow, buti naman ganyan nang mga kanta kinakanta mo ngayon.
Euns: Ha? E ano ba mga kantang kinakanta ko dati?
Ipe: Malungkot. Baka nun time na un malungkot ka.. buti ngayon hopeful na ang mga kanta.
Euns: Kelan?
Ipe: Start ng sem?
EUns: Wala naman ako issues a. Baka Neverland pa un.
Juanch: Baka nga Neverland pa.
-----------------
Bos: Hurt ka pa ba?
Euns: Di naman.
Bos: Naisahan ka kasi e.
Euns: Baka un lang.
-----------------

So there... Naiinis ako kasi OK LANG TALAGA KO pero iba un nakikita ng mga tao. So I vow to be cheerful again. As if naman I'm not cheerful enough. Haha. Ok lang talaga ako guys. Thank you for caring pero I am doing fine. I'm actually doing great.

It must be because it's BarOps month, a lot of things are needed to be done so I feel kinda uhmm, tired. It's not emotional, it's physical.

DI sanay ang mga tao na medyo down ako. At least a few are reminded that i still am human. Nasasaktan din at nalulungkot. Yes. Minsan kasi, people tend to forget that eh.

So there.

Meant to Be Broken

Friend: Di ako sanay na ganyan ka, it's been more than a month. Nun sinabi ko na magpahinga ka, di naman ganito katagal... lalayo na nga ako sa'yo, nahahawa ka na sa akin.

In fairness, it's been more than a month since *that thing that should not be mentioned*. Ces said something last night about how I am able to survive more than a month of having no one to rave about, of not having any "love interest" by thinking of how close I am to being a lawyer [yes!]. It may be true, I'm so close to reaching my goals that my priorities might've slightly changed. It's like I can almost taste victory and I couldn't care less about other things. But it's not true that I couldn't care less, in fact I care. It still bugs me, love and lack thereof. It's always been one of the most favorite topics that me and my "girlfriends" have every time we succumbed to our yearnings for yosi breaks in Starbucks. I still care and I can still feel that I long for something, not a specific someone but a very big something. It's weird really, not having anyone that I can feel kilig about, i have pseudo-crushes and MCIT objects but they're not real. They're not "actionable documents", they're not even qualified as "panawid-gutom".

*That thing that should not be mentioned* was so promising that I forgot to have a contingency plan. Heck, I don't even know what hit him, or me or both of us that we just stopped, he just stopped. But it isn't really about *that thing that should not be mentioned* per se, it's about seeing other people and silently saying that "love works for them". These past few days, a character from Neverland has reemerged, i can't say that we're back to where we were, simply because I CAN'T GO BACK THERE anymore, but I couldn't help but be reminded that what we had was promising, in fact more than promising than my most recent misadventure... *That thing that should not be mentioned*... I arrived at yet another conclusion, another "EUNICISM" if I may call it,

Promising things, just like promises, are meant to be broken too.

I promised myself that I won't whine about *that thing that shouldn't be mentioned*, I even promised myself that I won't think about Neverland again, but amidst all the feeling of loneliness, frustration and longing, I guess all i have are memories. Good ones perhaps that are more appropriately treasured than forgotten.

Promising things are meant to be broken too. Eunicism... Cynicism.

Vowed "Never Again"

It is improper to get disappointed when you had no right to have expectations at all. The worst part would be to feel bad about it but instantly forget your pain when you look at him and he nonchalantly brushes the whole thing off. You smile because he makes you smile. Underneath the ray of sunshine is that seemingly calm sky waiting to pour rain all over you because you vowed not to get wet again.

The BIG 23

This is long overdue, mainly because I turned 23 last May 14 and the only reason why this line of thinking was triggered is because Ces and I were talking about her very own "turning 23" moment that will happen on the 7th of July. The secondary reason was because my birthday seemed so small compared to the Elections which kind of drained the energy out of us to even speak of something outside of its realm. It's harsh really, especially when I am reminded of how close I am to the fulfillment of what i have dreamed of for myself and that in just a matter of time, I will find out if i have been chasing the wrong rainbow all my life.

My life's pretty stable and that's what scares me, it's usually a sign of something big that is possibly lurking and that will show its face when I am least prepared. It has always been hard for me to admit it but I am a scaredy cat. As much as i would like people to assume that I fear nothing, there are quite a number of things the scares me really... one of those things is failure. I am a sore loser, not because I blame the weakness of the opponent but because I am always hard on myself. I grew up relying on no one else but myself that it is very difficult if not unlikely of me to consider asking help from people or to even show signs of weakness. Masokistang mayabang.

Off to the more important and jologs part of my turning twenty three, when I was in my teens, i would dream of looking really goo when I turn 23... why? [drumroll please!] because 23 was Judy Ann's age, [i think] when she lost weight for that flick with Piolo involving boxing. I swore that if I want to find the Piolo Pascual of my life, I would have to start taking care of myself. Now at 23, I still am the same old Eunice, too busy or lazy to actually lose weight and too bankrupt to visit my dermatologist regularly. Sadness. I know it sounds superficial, but who wouldn't want to improve and be the best that she can be?

I was talking with Haze and Patring about how jologs my life has become because nothing has been happening and quite frankly, I am not exaggerating, besides the now routinary teasing about pseudo-love interests and my one sem-long ranting about a supposed Neverland, I am tired of playing games. [cue to play QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART]. I guess I really am beginning to be old. I cannot find it in my personality at present to really begin dating, the way I used to date people when I was in college. Also, I don't see myself dating someone younger simply because it's awkward. It's more like a preference now that I am sure I have matured a lot. Heck, I cannot even find it in my heart to crush on someone, I feel so uhmm.. RIGID.

I should be happy, in fact, I can honestly say that I am... but there are little things that are needed in my life to make me say that I feel complete. Sometimes, I feel empty, not knowing what my purpose is... Sometimes I feel low because I feel that people are finding it hard to take me seriously. It must be my destiny to make people laugh, and now that the joke is on me, I find it incredibly impossible to stop them from laughing. Fragile din naman ako paminsan-minsan, my closest friends can attest to the fact that there are times were I cry because of the smallest of things just because I feel the gravity of future situations. I am not afraid to cry, but I am afraid that when I am finally at ease with the idea of someone being strong for me and I finally let go... that person will leave me at my weakest.

I have survived a lot of things last year, it was a ride that had its highs and lows and just like Ally McBeal, the times where I was crying were in fact the times when I experienced happiness. ALthough they were fleeting, unsure and unstable... I found solace in the fact that there was a possibility. The what if's were so good that I forgot to rely on the sure things. I don't know if I can promise to not rely on mere possibilities now that I am a year older, but if there's one thing I really learned, it's the fact that my fairy tales are written by me and the "end" depends on how I handle things. Yes they may not be the endings that I hoped for or expected but I have control over my being... no matter how bad the situation may be I can choose to be strong and happy.

Lastly, turning 23 isn't a mere sign that I have become older and more mature, it's also a promise that on the 24th year on my life, my 23rd year might be "the year" that I find fulfillment. I want people to understand that I am not shallow, that I am not dumb and that if they only take me seriously they will realize that it is very hard to make people laugh, to make people feel good and to make people feel powerful over me. It takes a lot of humility and a lot of faith in the strength of the "me" that I have honed through the years. I am not the Eunice that some might envision me to be. There is definitely MORE to what a majority of these people think that they understand of me. I am complicated. The conclusion that you have figured me out will never be true because I,myself, haven't figured out who EUnice really is.

She constantly evolves, she constantly strives to become better and she constantly proves a point. Matalino din ako... Please don't underestimate me because I know when people do. It hurts me, deeply and badly when I am boxed into a definition that I never imagined myself to be defined with. I get hurt... I may not be as transparent as the people that you know but If you'll only take some time to really know me, maybe you'll find out that I am a treasure.

After 23 years, I am definitely better. More scarred, more bruised but more ready to learn and to love. Looking forward to my 24th... I know the good things are beginning to come.

New Sem, New Issues

It doesn't hurt anymore. I can look at our pictures again and smile knowing that what we had was good, heck it was amazing. Though I've been through quite a rollercoaster with you around, I don't regret and never will regret my decision to subject myself to such sweet agony. The only sad truth is that it can never be the same again. It can never be like it was before. I can feel that you try, you have to believe me when I say that I try too, but just like all events that are caused by the forces of nature, our natural course is to go our separate ways. Our separate ways are not absolute, once in a while we will meet and reminisce then gladly go down our separate paths again to seek the better memories that are waiting to be made and discovered... individually.

I still think of you and the US that failed to exist, but unlike in the past, my thoughts are filled not with longing but with gratitude that we were given the chance to share what we had. That was enough, in fact, that was more than enough, it was for a moment, my everything.

Of Gratefulness, Relief and Stopovers

When I look back at what transpired last School Year, I can't help but smile and occasionally laugh at how I managed to make my life a tad short of being a telenovela. It's comforting to know that I am finally at the stage where I have allowed myself to not only heal but also be happy for that colorful page. This summer, I am officially back in the ballgame with no qualms for giving in again to another adventure. It wasnt that bad really, although I was emotionally unstable, this same instability helped me to realize my self-worth and my being excessively blessed. God saved me from an undoubtedly worse situation. Now, I can look in the eyes of the clueless characters of my Neverland and face them with the same warmth that I have been continuosly giving them.

Maybe love really is just around th corner, I just haven't made the right turn yet. "Tumingin ka lang sa paligid mo at marami kang makikitang iba." I should really begin listening to Carlo, he successfully predicted the end of my Neverland and be was there every step of the way... patiently smoking with me and sending me messages with great timing, especially when I find myself in the most depressing of situations. I should've listend to Ana when she declared that Tinkerbell is not the guy that she sees in my future long before I have decided to give him the power to affect me enormously.

Maybe love is lauging at me for being such a drama queen over a fleeting admiration that's meant o distract me from finding the REAL "HIM".

I'm in a place where other people would die to be in. I see life now not only as a journey but a journey filled with worthy stopovers meant to enrich me with more stories that I can share with people who are not as blesses with my gift of odd experiences.

Kumbaga, nagpunta lang ako sa Bora pero imbes na mag-plane o mag-ship, nilangoy ko. Yun na.

FLOWER SHOP

She went to the store to buy flowers,
attempting to cure what's left
of her gloomy heart. They wilted
at the exact moment her hands touched
the thorns that made her fingers bleed.
Blood dropped and reached the floor
the same second the now dull red petals
touched her numb and tired feet.

She went back and asked the vendor why
the seemingly healthy blooms mocked
her optimism, he looked at her and smiled,
pointed at her heart that jumped out,
beating more vigorously every second
only to abruptly stop the next. Tears
began to form in her eyes but they refused
to fall. She gathered the wilted petals, walked away.

The girl never looked back, she was too far away
when she realized that she left her heart. She
continued walking and refused to return.
She looked at the already crumpled petals
on her hands, placed them inside that hollow part
where her heart used to be and walked again.
Then it began to beat once more, only this time
the beat was weaker. She didn't mind its weakness.
She knew the flowers will bloom again.

Goodbye to Neverland

"One of the worst feelings in the world is having to doubt something you thought was unquestionable."

The day finally came... "IT JUST HAD TO END"

The whole thing was a lie, an IMAGINED REALITY that blew up in uncontrollable proportions. Surprisingly, it doesn't hurt as much, I guess finality does something to the heart so it can finally stop bleeding. It's the promise of something better that keeps me from feeling pathetic. At least there really are no WHAT IF's now, only words about how i would close this chapter of my life in Neverland. No more tears'll be shed because of him, no more frustrations. Just relief that it's finally over. It may not be the ending that I hoped for but at least I know how and why it ended.
I still am happy and I still have faith in the fact that I will be happier. There is no room for anger, hurt or blame. It's just one empty and abandoned room that will be filled with the promising possibilities of what's to come.

I am not worried for myself because I will get through this, with more lessons learned and as an improved person. It isn't an open-ended story at least. It's a story that made me productive, made me feel again and made me realize that I still am capable of loving.

Yes, let me say once and for all that I might've loved him. Maybe I still do. I was so close to confessing. I am glad I didn't. But it's just a bright portion of a rather gloomy chapter. I wish him well, I wish for him happy times.

I am letting him live his life, I just hope I can finally live mine.

FINALS SOLITUDE

view from the top [JUSTITIA]

Yosi Break from the STEPS

OPEN-ENDED STORY

"Baka may iba pala syang gusto?"
"Hello? Duh!"

It's weird, everybody's sure that he at least likes me, but I guess mere assurance from people indirectly involved is never enough. From one issue to another, I think that's how our non-relationship is destined to be.

"Magpahinga ka muna. Kakatapos mo lang sa last issue,
di ka na nakakarecover."

I am scared, now that it's sort of clear that HE can be the "HE" that I'm waiting for, I'm afraid that I might not be the "SHE" that he has in mind. If one's gonna ask me about what we have, all I am really sure of is that we're friends, really good friends. No matter how "obvious" they think his actions are, I can't seem to find it in my heart to strongly BELIEVE. A few of my friends tell me that I'm too cynical for my own sake but as much as I want to enjoy the "pagtatampisaw" and feeling of one-sidedly wanting him, sometimes I am attacked by my own insecurities. A lot of women are better than me and I always feel that the men I begin to have romantic feelings for deserve someone better. At the back of my mind, I always feel that I am OUT OF MY LEAGUE.

It's not something that I am proud of, it is true that I have a lot to give but I don't know if I can ever be enough. I didn't know if the EUNICE that I am is capable of being loved amidst all my imperfections and moments of insanity.

There are numerous moments when I want to look him in the eye and tell him that he need not look, I want him to realize that at this point in my life, I am quite sure that I have slowly fallen for him, deeply. Then I am reminded of the infinitely many times that I made a fool of myself by letting my feelings known and by merely giving in. I know I should feel, at least, a li'l happier that one cloud has been cleared.

Yet I feel so sure that it's but another OPEN-ENDED STORY.

In Fairness

Things eventually fall into their proper places. So I believe Carlo when he told me last Saturday na... "At the end of this sem, I have a feeling that your issues will finally be resolved. We don't know if it's gonna be in a good way or a bad way, pero feeling ko mare-resolve na yan,"

*keeping fingers crossed

Things are pretty stable again. [at the risk of being laughed at by fate again, I still am optimistic] Although there still are glitches, they're minimal as opposed to the beautiful things that are happening. I can't complain. Really.

I am sort of missing a lot of people... and sometimes I am strongly tempted to put everything in the open and just announce what I truly am feeling. But like all wise men would say, "Some things are better left unsaid." Just so we can maintain the more stable status quo. In that light, I am announcing that I can't wait for FINALS to be over just so I can be a li'l more normal.

I miss my old jolly self. I've been pretty off these past few weeks. Colleen pointed out that I am abnormally quiet... well it's true. And then she went on to saying that, "He's not just a friend. You talk about him, cry about him and he's changing you. He's not just a friend." Well, partly true, at least on my perspective. He actually IS a friend, nothing more. Although there's that hope of making him something more, which is kind of impossible because we rarely see each other and we never really had potential and well, he's uhmm, not into me. I guess. Just like a majority of the men I have been attracted to, I am just a friend to him. Never the girl friend material... never the woman being chosen. I'm always a spare tire. And that is quite TRAGIC.

Which brings me to my wanting to thank Colleen for treating Patring, Patty and I to a delightful night at UCC. It was worth not studying for. Seriously.

Hmm. I should stop before I end up saying something incriminating.

Equally Mushy Friends

"In life we always search for answers because we want to prove to ourselves
that we had the right decisions, but the truth us, we can't search for what's
not there. Things happen because it's meant to happen. That's why we forgive
people even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us and we smile
despite every painful crash in our hearts. AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE LESSON WE GOT ARE THE ANSWERS TO OUR DECISIONS." -sent by Carlo Luna

"Everytime I try to forget the great loves I've had I partly succeed. But
as a consequence, I feel like a very real part of me has died, and that I've
become partly a monster." -sent by Miko Samson from an unpublished journal entry

"I want to be a redeemable share, so that when I'm no longer satisfied with
the one I'm with, the one who set me free could bring me back to her fold." -
sent by Elliot Mondez

"We are all looking for the wrong eprson... the right wrong person...
someone we could lovingly gaze upon and think, 'This is the problem I
want to have." -sent by Rach Sy

"It's always painful to know that someone is irrevocably gone and all
that's left are memories of beautiful days that have gone by... Sometimes
it's confusing why people fall in love and then say goodbye. Why they cannot
belong forever when at first, they can never seem to part." -sent by Ces
Pallarca

"We at times sit at one corner alone, appreciating life as we see it
through our eyes.. then suddenly, someone surprises us, shares that corner until
it becomes the world." -Eunice Monsod

I dunno which ones were originally written by them or which are forwarded, but sometimes, text messaging can be deep. Some are deeper than daily conversations.

Letter of Love # 7

Everyday, I wake up and choose the idea of you. Everyday, I get dressed and hope to be given the opportunity to be with you. 

How can an already numb heart still feel grief?

How can pain compound every second and succeed in jolting the numb heart into feeling despite the threatening prose of an unresolved mystery?

When are you coming to save me from my self-induced agony?

Please dream of me tonight. Dream with me.

Let our separate lives intertwine reality and fantasy. Let our future love blur the line between clarity and sanity.

DARK AGES

"Kamusta naman ang lamay?" -Patty

That was Patty's opening line to me yesterday afternoon when I gloomily entered my classroom... well, it was a sort of lamay. It was a wake for the temporary death of hope and faith and happy times.

"Our friendships are now in their DARK AGES." -Ana

And it's sort of true, a lot of issues have emerged and this, for me, is the most emotional sem yet.

"I've seen you cry a lot of times this sem Euns." -Joan

Argh, it's painfully true. It's sad really, looking back, I experienced an emotionally unstable sem. But according to John Cage of Ally McBeal, when you look back at what happened in the past year and you can't particularly remember any moment where you cry, the year is a waste. I guess I'll look at it that way, it was a fruitful year, a lot of discoveries, triumphs and yeah, disappointments. It was not a year of waste, i guess.

Even if our friendships are at our dark ages at present, I am continuously waiting for renaissance... the rebirth of good times, of normal times. I know that we have accumulated a lot of treasured memories that are more than enough to help us get past the problems that we are currently facing.

Kaya guys, let's all hang in there. Let's just hope that this summer, we can wash away all the sand that has mudded our judgment. Let's just hope that after this sem, good vibes will flow.

In the meantime, let's all study for the FINALS. Goodluck everyone.

Rain on my Parade, Procession and Every Li'l Sunshine

Kanina lang there was nothing to write about... it's amazing how one minute I was raving about how normal my life finally is, only to be laughed at by fate and now, I am a big joke. Again. It not only pisses me off but it's making me cry. It's so uhmm, stupid... it's so petty but the situation makes me emotionally unstable. TOTALLY. That's without him even trying, without him ever feeling even a bit of what I'm feeling. I needed to get away from there just so I can stop myself from making a fool out of myself. I can't accuse anyone of being insensitive because well, I don't deserve to be taken into consideration. And it all the more pisses me off.

Side kwento na lang to make me feel a bit better, I was crossing the street from Block 9 to Ateneo and was waiting for the cars to pass by when this car stopped and made me cross.. I thought, "Ang hot ko naman, tumitigil sya kahit may karapatan sya na mag-go..." Un pala, si RC un. May kawayan blues pa kami. Laughtrip.

Anyway, to add insult to the injury, I found out that CLV shuffled our class cards... So, there is a big possibility that I got called in class today. And I was at Starbucks, studying Civ Pro for the finals. Great. Ano pa ba ang darating?

Hay, buti na lang Shem's online. I ranted and ranted and ranted. Then she had to give me the jealousy-inducing news, SHE'S OFF TO EUROPE today. Great. And I'm stuck here in Manila, with an internship that's yet to be finalized, and a lot of other un-fun stuff to do. Saya.

I'll be probably be meeting up with Sam later around 6pm. I hope we can sort of catch up, it's been a while since I last saw that ass.

I'm thinking of going back to Starbucks to continue my interrupted studying streak. I hope and pray to God that I get in the mood again. Linshak talaga o. I read pa this article about Ali Sotto and her second husband who writes poems for her. I read some of the poems and and it broke my heart that I have no one to write similar poems for, and no one to write poems for me. Sige, depression kill me softly. Salamat ha.

Minsan talaga nagbabalak na ako maglayas sa bwisit na Neverland na yan e. Sinasaktan lang ako. Lalo na yang tinkerbell na yan. Isama mo pa yang si Lost Boy. Maghahanap na nga lang ako ng crocodile...

Carlo: Wala pa ba crocodile sa Neverland mo?
Eunice: Sige maghahanap na ako.
Carlo: Astig un si Crocodile, may clock na sya at maganda un tagline nya.
Eunice: Ano?
Carlo: ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

Eunice's Labels

Doodle doodle.

Peter Pan's Wendy
Tinkerbell's "Girl Friend"
Captain Hook's Tamer
Lost Boy's Keeper.

Hehe. Written during PIL.

Yihee.

Saw Peter Pan last night. *kilig*

He still is the CUTEST in Neverland.

Forget TRUE LOVE.