OPEN-ENDED STORY

"Baka may iba pala syang gusto?"
"Hello? Duh!"

It's weird, everybody's sure that he at least likes me, but I guess mere assurance from people indirectly involved is never enough. From one issue to another, I think that's how our non-relationship is destined to be.

"Magpahinga ka muna. Kakatapos mo lang sa last issue,
di ka na nakakarecover."

I am scared, now that it's sort of clear that HE can be the "HE" that I'm waiting for, I'm afraid that I might not be the "SHE" that he has in mind. If one's gonna ask me about what we have, all I am really sure of is that we're friends, really good friends. No matter how "obvious" they think his actions are, I can't seem to find it in my heart to strongly BELIEVE. A few of my friends tell me that I'm too cynical for my own sake but as much as I want to enjoy the "pagtatampisaw" and feeling of one-sidedly wanting him, sometimes I am attacked by my own insecurities. A lot of women are better than me and I always feel that the men I begin to have romantic feelings for deserve someone better. At the back of my mind, I always feel that I am OUT OF MY LEAGUE.

It's not something that I am proud of, it is true that I have a lot to give but I don't know if I can ever be enough. I didn't know if the EUNICE that I am is capable of being loved amidst all my imperfections and moments of insanity.

There are numerous moments when I want to look him in the eye and tell him that he need not look, I want him to realize that at this point in my life, I am quite sure that I have slowly fallen for him, deeply. Then I am reminded of the infinitely many times that I made a fool of myself by letting my feelings known and by merely giving in. I know I should feel, at least, a li'l happier that one cloud has been cleared.

Yet I feel so sure that it's but another OPEN-ENDED STORY.