RH BILL: My Stand While Kneeling Down

I don't think my faith in God and my support for the RH Bill are mutually exclusive. Frankly, it is precisely this faith that pushes me to believe that people should be allowed and, more importantly, be given the OPPORTUNITY to live a life of quality. It is this great appreciation for the blessing that is life that convinces me to dream that the RH Bill, although OBVIOUSLY not a panacea, will strengthen the Filipino family and uphold this sense of responsibility for the future of the next generation.

 When I am asked to kneel and pray the anti-RH  Bill prayer during the Holy Mass, I do kneel and thank God that He has given me the free will to pray my own prayer and the discernment to stand my ground for what I believe is right not only for me but for my country.

We need to give the next generation a fighting chance.

 Pass the RH Bill NOW.

Free-falling with Faith

We try to do it on our own. Our pride stops us from acknowledging that there are things that are out of our control. We forget that when things are going our way, it is because God deems it appropriate.

How could we forget?  Why would we forget? When did we forget? Who are we forgetting?

Jesus died for us. It is the ultimate sacrifice. It is the ultimate act of salvation that made us whole. The least we can do is to try to be worthy of this sacrifice. We are not asked to be perfect, instead, we are asked to accept God in our lives. It is so easy to lose track of our spirituality. In a way of life that glorifies all things that are worldly, it is too easy to forget. Forgetting has become the general rule instead of being an exception.

I sometimes forget, too. Yet every day, I am reminded, because everything I have, everything I dream of, everything I experience cannot be the result of my actions alone. Everything is beyond me. There is too much beauty in my life that I find myself questioning Him of why am I blessed with these things. But I also learned that if you live a life with God, the last thing you would want and need to do is to question Him.

When you miss feeling close to God, you’re missing the point. God never leaves. He’s always near. All we need to do is open our hearts and let Him in. Faith is a challenging virtue. Free-falling with faith is hard but definitely rewarding. When you freefall with faith, you don’t really fall… instead, you find yourself floating, flying over all superficial issues that are not worth doubting for.

Nothing is worth doubting for. When you live with faith, that’s when you really start living.

  

Because HE Exists and It Must Never Be Forgotten...

Today was just a day of miracles and a lot of thank you's that are needed to be said.
On our way home from Bulacan, our car stopped without warning while we were going up the fly-over. Yes, my mom was crying of fear, me and my sibs were left with no choice but to try to push our cars up that damn flyover, notwithstanding the danger of being crushed by fast cars and BUSES with drivers who had no idea a stopped van will be in front of them in a few seconds. It was a test of faith indeed. Then, as i was telling God to please save me and my family, the car behind us stopped and without hesitation, the driver and a few of his passengers helped us.

They didn't have to do that, they put their lives in danger for us too. They were strangers. I knew, right there and then, God protected us. We could've stopped in NLEX where it was more dangerous and well, farther from home. But GOD thought we shouldn't. We could've been easily hit by the buses and cars. But God touhhg we shouldnt .We couldn't have gotten help from strangers. But GOD thought we should.

We all tend to forget how powerful and merciful he is when we go on live our lives without much of a hassle.We know HE exists, but more often than not, we forget. Today was and will always be a testimony of how good GOD is.

Thank you, Lord.

Thank you selfless strangers whom we weren't able to thank properly because we couldnt stop until gravity brought us down and into a nearby gas station. Yes, it was quite a ride. We looked back and the strangers left already, without asking for anything in return.

Thank you nameless gasoline truck mechanic who didn't accept the money that we wanted to give him for fixing our car.

Thank you.

It pays to have faith in people and more importantly, in God... because at that exact moment of hopelessness and despair, help comes, in the most amazing of packages.

Lolo Kit

I haven’t been talking about it, I even went to school the day I found out. People were asking if we expected it, my answer was that well, it crossed our minds, but to say that we expected it, for me, would be an admission that we have given up when in fact, we didn’t. I didn’t. Until the end, I was optimistic about it, thinking that someone so good, well-loved and pure will not be taken away from a world that is desperately in need of someone to whom it can look up to. My Lolo was just that.

If I will be compelled to describe him in one word, I will describe him to be CONTENTED. He wanted things, he appreciated their beauty but he was genuinely happy with what he had. He was that welcoming smile every time we will visit them in Navotas. I had the privilege of living with him a few years when I was still a kid, I must admit that I didn’t have a lot of memories. I can only describe him through what my young mind can remember at that time. The smell of his pillow is still vivid. The smell that was caused by his “pomade” reminds me of that time when I would sleep in lolo’s and lola’s room for siesta. I can vividly remember how he would curse and not mean it, how it was an empty utterance for him that would have to accompany his words to emphasize his point. He was the quiet and reserved one, he wouldn’t talk unless you talk to him first. But when you start talking to him, he’ll be more than glad to entertain you with his own stories. In our visits to Navotas, I would always hear my Lolo talk about the people that he used to help. He did simple things that have big effects on people. I wouldn’t be surprised if people we don’t even know are also grieving for his death.

I had to find out about his death the worst possible way, it was like Lolo didn’t want us to wake up at five in the morning [time of his death]. In the oddest of moments, all of our phones were being charged and were turned off. It was only when it was already nine in the morning that we received the news. I was awakened by my Mom’s scream of grief and disbelief. I rushed to her and I knew. It was a cry that was meant for the saddest of moments. My Mom was repeatedly saying, “Ang Daddy… ang Daddy.” I felt numb, I couldn’t cry because I knew my mom needed me to be strong. While my Dad was hugging her, whispering words of encouragement that I know will never comfort her at that time, my heart was literally breaking. I called my Tito and asked where we should go for the wake. I felt pain, anger and emptiness. I silently prayed and asked God to be with my Mom and Lola. If I am feeling all these things, it will be incomparable to what they would be feeling. When everyone left, and I was alone at home, strength escaped me. I crawled back to bed to cry. I kept saying, “Lolo… lolo” as if it could convince God to give him back to us.

If there is one thing I regret, it will be that I wasn’t able to spend more time with my Lolo in his last days. It seemed like I wasn’t meant to grieve, a lot of things were happening, school started, I have my thesis to take care of, events to attend to and this, arguably, is my busiest year yet. It could be that it was meant to be that way, because if I wasn’t doing a lot of things, I don’t know if I could’ve survived with a lot of time to think and reflect on his death. My Lolo even saved me a lot of times last week. I knew. I couldn’t be more thankful.

Lola Seng told me that Lolo Kit was so proud of me when he was alive. He would always tell people that his apo will become a lawyer soon. It still pains me to think that he wouldn’t be there when I finally become a lawyer. He would’ve been so happy. While I was saying goodbye to him last Sunday, I promised him that I will be the best that I can be for him. I wouldn’t let him down. He can brag about me to Jesus.

I don’t really believe in goodbyes, as cliché sounding as it may sound, I know that my Lolo and I will see each other again. In the meantime, I can close my eyes and remember the smell of his pomada, hear how he would curse to stress a point, see his smile and the way he would lay contently on his tumba-tumba, relive how he would excitedly open the gate for us and ask, “Kamusta?”

Lolo Kit, kami na ang bahala. Relax ka na lang dyan kasama ni God. Di mo na kailangan tumaya sa Lotto, pwede mo na itanong kay God kung ano ang tatamang numero...

When...

... you feel like you are at your lowest, God's power and love will see you through.

The short-term suffering that you must endure is just a prelude to the long-term happiness that you will be rewarded with if only you'll stick around, hang on and continue to have faith. Never ever let go, never ever doubt, He will never let you down. The situations that we get into over which we have no control are opportunities for us to experience God in our lives. It's when He will take the wheel and speed through the race track that is life and bring us to the finish line.

It's not a theory, it's a fact. I can never be grateful enough.

To everyone who prayed and expressed their support, "Thank you. You are God's little angels in my life... God has anwered not only my prayers but yours as well."

I Don't Need This Right Now.

But you still gave it. I pray to God that You know what you're doing... because if you don't you will end up more fucked up than before.

AMEN

"My plans for you are good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11

Everything you need to learn...

...you'll learn from your cab driver.

He was recklessly driving and i was in a way panicking. Then he said,

"Ma'am wag po ko kabahan sa pagd-drive ko ha, coding po kasi ako. Just relax. Alam naman ni Lord kung bakit ko ito ginagawa. Sa tingin ko naman di ako ibibigay ni Lord sa kalaban. 100 percent ang pagtitiwala ko sa kanya at dahil alam nya na para sa pamilya ko ito, hinding hindi nya tayo pababayaan."

Keepin' the Faith

image from POSTSECRET

I am officially freaking out. Today's April 29th and on the 3rd of May, my life will officially change. Everything's a blur but all I pray for is strength. My dad asked me about my grades and I couldnt give him a straight answer, his words stuck to my mind... "Bakit parang nawawalan ka na ng faith? Faith kay God, Faith sa sarili mo." It's a very painful truth that I have to face. I am kind of losing faith in myself. Not in God. God has always been good to me. I just don't know if I am still good enough. If I am still worthy of His blessings. I don't know if I worked hard enough.

My mom is supportive. She asked me where I would want to transfer "if ever" things don't turn out as planned. Argh. I cannot even imagine myself not being in lawschool anymore. I can't believe I am here again. That emotional limbo that I enternally hate to be in.

My friends are equally helpful. They keep my hopes up everytime I talk to them. They assure me that I did pretty well this sem. I dont know if they're just being kind or if I really did better. I have always believed that LIFE IS UNFAIR. So, following this assumption, even if I worked doubly hard... there is a chance that I will not get the grades that are proportional to the effort I exerted. Life is unfair that some people who didn't work as hard are going to stay. I don't hate them, in fact I will not deny that a couple of times, I even envy them. I was once like them. Never exerted much effort, still I manage to get out of the jungle alive. It's really hard when you're on the other end, when you're the one who's losing faith in yourself because you feel like YOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH.

I have faith in God. I know that whatever it is that He will decide to give me, it will lead me to the best road that I should travel. This brings me to Carrie Underwood's single, JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL. I think it's a very appropriate song.

Jesus, Take the Wheel
Carrie Underwood

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel Take it from my hands Cause I can't do this all on my own I'm letting go So give me one more chance To save me from this road I'm on Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh, Jesus take the wheel Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me Oh, why, oh

What is an Atenean Lawyer?

[A Legal Writing Exercise]

How does one define something that she’s just beginning to understand? How do people come up with a definition that’s all-encompassing when nothing really in this world is definite? In my opinion, the best way is to look at a word’s etymology to fully grasp the story behind a word or in this case, a phrase. The common noun, lawyer is defined as someone who has the privilege of practicing law. There really is no contest about that but the crucial part of the phrase is the word Ateneo. I tried to look at its etymology and I found out that:

The word "Ateneo" is the Spanish form of "Athenaeum". An “Athenaeum” is a Roman school named after the Greek word Athenaion, which literally means the temple of Athena, the goddess of wisdom.[1]

I therefore conclude that an Atenean lawyer is someone who acknowledges the importance of wisdom. Someone who does not have interest in being labeled as the best but is more focused on contributing to the betterment of the society. An Ateneo lawyer isn’t afraid of change because he looks at it as an opportunity for growth. He does not run away from challenges but instead eagerly waits for tough times because it is during these times that he learns. An Ateneo lawyer is like “salt”, because unlike sugar which draws attention to itself, salt brings out the best in all the other ingredients.

An Atenean lawyer does not hesitate to hit rock bottom because he knows that there is no way but up after the collision. An Ateneo lawyer is the synergy of justice and compassion. An Atenean lawyer thinks and feels. An Ateneo lawyer is human… but he draws strength from the ultimate judge that is God.

---

[1] Yahoo! Online Dictionary [Online], URL: http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/athenaeum (Accessed January 8, 2006)

Dermatographic Poetry

Twirl and submit to the demand of a greater force.
Bend for me my precious peel.
How could you conceal something so bright?

---------------------------------

Are you the fly who intently looked at me?
Why leave after i noticed you?
Why fly when i wanna fly with you?
Come back...

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these pseudo-poems were written while i was battlin' with the urge to completely drift through Neverland while desperately tryin to listen to a lecture on Puritans and Pilgrims in Philo of Law...

God's Divine Plans...

At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled
children, the father of one of the school's students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all that attended.

After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question.

"Everything God does is done with perfection. Yet, my son Shay cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is God's plan reflected in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued.

"I believe," the father answered, "that when God brings a child like Shay into the world, an opportunity to realize the Divine Plan presents itself and it comes in the way people treat that child."

Then, he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they will let me play?"

Shay's father knew that the boys would not want him on their team. But the father understood that if his son were allowed to play it would give him much-needed sense of belonging. Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his teammates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said,

"We are losing by six runs, and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning."

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. At the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the outfield. Although no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential
winning run was on base. Shay was scheduled to be the next at-bat. Would the team actually let Shay bat at this juncture and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have ended the game. Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far beyond reach of the first baseman.

Everyone started yelling, "Shay, run to first, run to first."

Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!"

By the time Shay was rounding first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman for a tag. But the right fielder understood what the pitcher's intentions had been, so he threw the ball high and far over the third baseman's head. Shay ran towards second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home. As Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "run to third!"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming, "Shay, Run home!" Shay ran home, stepped on home plate and was cheered as the hero for hitting a "grand slam" and winning the game for his team.

"That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of the Divine Plan into this world."

------------
A Pesonal Commentary:

I received this email today and i just couldnt help but pass the message of how perfect God's plans and creations are. Yeah, we sure experience a lot of ups and downs but if we just LET GO and LET GOD then things'll turn out more than fine in the long run.

There will be times when we feel so incomplete, so inadequate, so lost but it's all a part of the game. When we feel like there's nothing we can do, we must also start rejoicing, for it is in these times when we are most likely to experience how God works. Love moves in mysterious ways because love comes from God.

Translucence

These running lights are disciplined by her unforgiving cries. The observer blinks and intermittently sees the future through the exhaustive lies. Only the truth can pass through her translucent eyes.

In Mourning...

Why?

Today, Cardinal Sin's journey has come to its end. It always feels so surreal when someone, or something you have grown to live with suddenly disappears or stops existing. The first thing that came to my mind when i woke up hearing the depressing news was that Cardinal Sin is irreplaceable. The role that he played in the Philippine society, though somewhat political, was undoubtedly of great importance. In the past, i would always find myself thinking of how the Church seems to forget that the Separation of the Church and State should always be followed. Cardinal Sin always made it a point to have an opinion. He never failed to remind the government that he, just like every Filipino, was watching the officials' moves despite the fact that he is being criticized all the way. When i was a kid, i was given the chance to meet the Cardinal and to kiss his ring. For me, it was a privilege, an opportunity that not everyone who wants to meet him is presented with. Until now, i think i'm one of the few who was graced with the opportunity to witness how he moved, how he talked and how even in that short glimpse on his life, he touched me and made me believe that God truly exists. He is a legacy. He is that irony in this life of apathy, after all, what's more ironic than being called Cardinal Sin?

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Habemus Papam!

"Ate, may pope na!"

My sister rushed to my room, all smiles. I dunno if it was reflex but i just ran towards the television and watched with anticipation. I knew right there and then that i am watchin a very important part of history. I couldnt help but smile and record everything.

Habemus papam!

An Exchange of Thoughts [On Atheism]

if you wanna read more about this visit.. iNexus: The iAteneo Forums

Eunice: belief in God, faith and religion is a decision that a person must make. i respect atheists. i think it's very brave of 'em to live a life that not a lot of people will even think of living. we can always talk about how God has touched our lives in a lot of ways but atheists [the critical thinking-ones] would rather believe that they are happy because they did something that led to such happiness. they'd rather think they are in-charge.

What we think we know, we really dont know. [quoting the founder of the UP Atheists' Circle] As for me, i dont think i should defend my faith, it's something that i hold on to because i decided to. WE are all lost anyway, atheists, believers, there is no assurance.

Batchster: "Nobody can insist that you believe in God" yup, i believe ultimately, it's an existential choice no one can make for you but yourself.

"they'd rather think they are in-charge." well i dunno but this is something i don't particularly admire about them...

"What we think we know, we really dont know. [quoting the founder of the UP Atheists' Circle]" -->we were also taught in Ateneo that Socrates was wise because he knew that he did not know. This is precisely why i think it is foolish and arrogant for atheists, existentialists in particular, to place everything in their own hands and trust nothing and no one else but themselves. If that statemant was meant to attack believers then it totally missed its target. Faith is different from knowing. Faith does not claim that it knows. That is exactly why we BELIEVE.

"As for me, i dont think i should defend my faith, it's something that i hold on to because i decided to." i agree with your second statement because I, too, believe because I decided to. But I don't see the logic in saying that because it is a personal commitment, there is no reason to defend it. (is that what you were saying? please correct me if i understood you wrongly...) I've learned from Theo that that is the flaw of secularization. It reduces faith to personal spheres. but faith is not just one aspect of a person. I believe it gives meaning to the whole of one's existence. o well... sobrang haba, out of the topic na... some other time maybe

Eunice: i know the "we're in charge" statement's kinda arrogant, but id rather look at it as a vow to face life head on, without that hope of getting a miracle someday or of divine intervention, it's taking the blame for the consequences of your actions, may it be direct or indirect.

Existentialists and athesists just like us are travellers in this thing called life. We cant judge 'em just because we think they think so highly of themselves by not believin in a higher being. yes we believe, but if they dont, let's not take it against 'em. Life's harder,(i think) for them. it's bad enough that they dont have God beside 'em but if the society who claims to have faith will make it harder for 'em then that's just too much.

There is such a thing as interconnectivity. i think of my faith as my personal relationship with God but i do accept the fact that my existence affects others who also exist. Not defending my faith is not synonymous to being apathetic for that need to share my faith. I tell my story, i do what i think i should do and let it be my personal testimony of how God has long existed in my life. I dont have to engange in debates, in word plays because by doing so (in my opinion), it demonstrates my finding assurance from the nod of others whom i have convinced.

My last statement wasnt a statement of despair, it's a statement of respect. of that acknowledgment that i have no reason to judge others and that i myself am not the perfect believer that i should be. It's true that there is no assurance, but at the end of the day (just like what you said) WE STILL BELIEVE.. God bless.

Oh Carol...

Carol Wojtyla ... He made me cry.

When i saw him parading when he came to visit the Philippines in 1995 i cried. Yes, i did. It was an unexplainable, overwhelming, unbelievable feeling of being blessed. I felt how strong my faith is. I'm not romanticizing this whole thing but i believe that Pope John Paul II is truly a gift from God.

When he died, i got depressed. When i saw him, lying there, so peaceful.. I cried. Nobody made me cry that easily. I remember reading this book about him, about how he touched people and how he became an example of the Lord's compassion for humanity. He is an affirmation that goodness really exists in this world almost ruled by life's cruelties.

i may not be religious, i may not be into the church's rituals.. but i am spiritual. My relationship with God is something that i get strength from. Pope John Paul II is one inspiration. He forgives, he loves and he believes... in his silence.

Carol Wojtyla, you have lived your life making the world a better place. You did not allow the world's discriminating eyes bother you and discourage you from embracing and respecting people of different beliefs. You embody what humanity should be.

We thank you for gracing us with your existence. Say hi to the Lord for us. Oh Carol...