I dunno! I never SCUBA DOVE before...

Last night was supposed to be a "review night" for PIL but since everyone was so devastated after the TAX Exam, we sorta impliedly decided that it was gonna be a "CHILL OUT" night. Patty and Joan decided to watch ALL ABOUT LOVE while Ces, Haze and I decided to laugh the night off... then Rach came and the night became more interesting.

Of course the desert that is Joan's place was rained on by the presence of Jojo Miggy and Carlo who entertained us for about an hour.

[Joan stood up while we were chatting to check out the noisy
people outside]
Carlo: O, Joan... san ka pupunta?
[aburido tone]
Ces: Possessive a.
Euns: Yihee, bagong love team.
Carlo: Baka kasi may bibilin sya, ako na lang ang bibili.

Un na, Joan found a willing victim in her own series of backyard romance stories.

And of course, the ultimate loveteam for the night, the Juday and Ryan of Law School... Patty and Sep did not fail to entertain us. I felt so kilig merely looking at them. Thanks Sep for that half bottle of Red Horse.

It was ultimately a fun fun fun fun night that everyone deserved, I guess. Now, at 4 in the afternoon, i haven't even started studying for PIL. And that makes me a "pabayang bata" but to everyone who's gonna judge me, I am just gonna say.... "I dunno... I never SCUBA DOVE before!"

On Euns' and Haze's Churva Sessions

Ces: Ok lang magtampi-tampisaw, kahit nga snorkeling ok lang e... wag lang
un tipong nags-scuba diving na kayo jan.

Euns: Tama, bawal sumabmarine.

Ces: Ako nga nag-iipon lang ng seashells sa pampang e. Na-sunburn na nga ako di man lang ako nabasa.

Euns: Si Hazel nga, basang basa na un ulo. Di basta tampisaw.

FINALS SOLITUDE

view from the top [JUSTITIA]

Yosi Break from the STEPS

KALOKOHAN NIGHT

Scenario #1:

Tahimik na tahimik kami ni Ces, seryoso to the max sa pag-aaral, harassed kung harassed ng biglang sinambit ni Ces ng malakas... "JOHN LLOYD" Tinanong ko sya kung bakit nya sinabi un, at wala syang dahilan. Un na. Nagkaroon ng mahabang diskusyon sa mga pagnanasa ng mga tao kay John lloyd.

Scenario #2:

Pam: Di talaga ko nagagawapuhan kay Richard Cruz.
Euns" Cruz?
Pam: Ay, Gomez.
Ces: Un na, si Kiboy.

Scenario #3:

Sa ALL ABOUT LOVE
Nanay: Iha, bakit ka di kumakain, vegetarian ka ba?
Anne: Di po, Noranian po ako.

Lalaki: Minsan, kailangan mo magkamali para malaman mo na di un ang solusyon sa mga problema mo.

Scenario #4:

Ces: Guys, minsan naman habang nagtatampisaw kayo sa dagat [ng pag-ibig] basa-basain nyo naman ako.
Euns: Madali naman solusyunan ang problema mo e, akyatin mo na kasi ang beanstalk.
Ces: Takot ako sa giant e. Ang masama baka kasi Leprechaun lang... pero ok din, baka may POT OF GOLD.

Scenario #5:

Patty: Tigang na tigang tayo e. Parang Sahara Dessert. Buti pa nga sa Sahara uuulan paminsan-minsan.
Rach: Tsaka may cactus.
Euns: Jojo Miggy, diligan mo na kasi ang desyerto.

BUNTONG-HININGA

"I need someone who can prove to me that LOVE IS NOT A WEAKNESS."
-Patring

"Kailangan ko ng lalaki na pag kasama ko sya, pwede ako magpahinga."
-Euns

POST SECRET

images from POST SECRET

OPEN-ENDED STORY

"Baka may iba pala syang gusto?"
"Hello? Duh!"

It's weird, everybody's sure that he at least likes me, but I guess mere assurance from people indirectly involved is never enough. From one issue to another, I think that's how our non-relationship is destined to be.

"Magpahinga ka muna. Kakatapos mo lang sa last issue,
di ka na nakakarecover."

I am scared, now that it's sort of clear that HE can be the "HE" that I'm waiting for, I'm afraid that I might not be the "SHE" that he has in mind. If one's gonna ask me about what we have, all I am really sure of is that we're friends, really good friends. No matter how "obvious" they think his actions are, I can't seem to find it in my heart to strongly BELIEVE. A few of my friends tell me that I'm too cynical for my own sake but as much as I want to enjoy the "pagtatampisaw" and feeling of one-sidedly wanting him, sometimes I am attacked by my own insecurities. A lot of women are better than me and I always feel that the men I begin to have romantic feelings for deserve someone better. At the back of my mind, I always feel that I am OUT OF MY LEAGUE.

It's not something that I am proud of, it is true that I have a lot to give but I don't know if I can ever be enough. I didn't know if the EUNICE that I am is capable of being loved amidst all my imperfections and moments of insanity.

There are numerous moments when I want to look him in the eye and tell him that he need not look, I want him to realize that at this point in my life, I am quite sure that I have slowly fallen for him, deeply. Then I am reminded of the infinitely many times that I made a fool of myself by letting my feelings known and by merely giving in. I know I should feel, at least, a li'l happier that one cloud has been cleared.

Yet I feel so sure that it's but another OPEN-ENDED STORY.

FINALS = INSANITY

Patty: Love ano yan? [pertaining to the Chai Tea]
Love: Lupa...
Patty: Taba ng talangka juice?

Beanstalk: Ngayong panahon ng finals, kapag napapagod na
ako,
naalala ko ang mga salita ng isang sikat na kaibigan natin. Kahit ano
mangyari parati syang nakangiti. At dahil friend din kita euns, at sabog na
ako, ish-share ko sayo. Sabi ni Jollibee, "Kaya mo, Kid." Words to live
by.

Euns:Aww, thanks Beanstalk. Para kang rexona, you never let
me down. At ang law school, parang Max's lang, "Sarap to the bones." Pero
sabi nga ni Inday Badiday, "Saranghambida." at sundin natin si Kuya Germs,
"Walang tulugan." Galingan natin kasi, "Great things start from small
beginnings." sabi ng Milo.

Beanstalk: Sabi nga ni Rufa Mae, "Todo na'to"

Euns: At sabi ni Ruffa G., "Take it, take it

TAMA KA...

Sabi nga ng cute na cute na batang kilala ko, BAWAL MAG-LIE. I'll keep that in mind.

BAWAL MAG-LIE.

Baka kasi magmukmok pa un bata sa backseat habang hawak hawak un mga straw nyang binabad sa alcohol.

Sabi ko rin sa kanya na di ko na sasabihin ang word na UNFAIR. Kaya isusulat ko na lang. UNFAIR. =P

Pero BAWAL TALAGA MAG-LIE. Bawal na bawal.

One Tiring Walk

I didn't know that buying a pack of cig at the Powerplant will be this tiring...

Euns: San tayo dadaan sa amazing entrance?
Den: Dito na. [un tatawid] Fashion week ngayon, para makakita naman ako ng magaganda.
[sa loob ng plant]
Den: Alam ko na kung saan nagsimula ang fashion.
Euns: San?
Den: Kay Eba at Adan, nun kumain sila ng mansanas.. nalaman nila na nakahubad sila tapos nagsimula na ang fashion.
Euns: Ok.
Den: Ang mga usapan dati, "Wow, ang ganda naman nyan suot mo... anong dahon yan? Bayabas? Wow." Tapos may magazine pa na puro dahon lang ang pictures.
[napadaan sa bilihan ng sweetcorn]
Den: TIngnan mo 'to, "VERY sweet corn" ngayon lang ako nakakita nyan. [in fairness VERY SWEET CORN nga ang nakalagay]
[sa loob ng supermarket]
Den: [hawak ang lemon, tumawag ng tindera] Miss, pwede ba ito ipa-squeeze?
Euns: [horrified look, dahan dahan tumalikod]
[sa bilihan ng steak]
Den: Paano mo mapapawala ang banana?
Euns: Pano?
Den: Tanggalin mo un B. edi ANANA!
Euns: [blank look]
Den: Hmm, ano ba ito? [hinawakan un wine yata] Zatar. Diba bansa un.
Euns: Qatar un. [tumawa un babae sa tabi namin]

NIGHTMARE. Haha.

DAHIL NAGREREKLAMO SYANG DI KO SYA Kinu-QUOTE

Lew: Paano kung lumaki na si Peter Pan?
Paano kung makahanap na ng Map si LOST BOY?
Paano kung ma-cage si Tinker?
Paano kung makagat ng buwaya si Captain Hook?

Euns: Magkakaintindihan na sila ni Wendy.
Mahahanap na nya si Wendy.
Ililigtas sya ni Wendy.
Gagamutin sya ni Wendy.

Euns: Paano kung magkaron na ng ethics si Tinker?
Lew: Edi si Astroboy na un gusto nya. Wala kasi ethics si Astroboy e.
Euns: [blank stare]

Lew: [nakalimutana ko na kung paano napunta dun ang usapan] Ano last schedule nyo sa finals?
Euns: [blah blah blah] Wednesday ETHICS.
Lew: Ayos, save the best for last. ETHICS. Tinanong ako ng mom ko kung ano favorite subject ko... sabi ko Ethics. Lalo na ng mga friends ko, favorite nila un Ethics ni Fr. Ferrer.
Euns: Ayoko marinig.

DAHIL BUHAY KO 'TO

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM ROG:

Q: Paano kung ung gusto ko may relasyon na?
A: Mas madaling mahuli ang manok na nakatali.

Q: Paano kung may gusto syang iba?
A: Kung ang lupa ngang may JUST TITLE naaagaw, sya pa?

Q: Paano kung ayaw nila maghiwalay?
A: Kung ang kontinente nga naghihiwalay, sila pa?

"YOU PUT" conversations:

Patring: You put the YO in TAYO!
Kyle: Walang TAYO kung walang YO!
Patring: You put the TSE! in KOTSE!
Mike Lo: Ano ba yan, wala ako maisip. Nakakfrustrate.
Euns: Na-pressure.

ILLOGICAL CONVERSATIONS:

Euns: Feeling ko cynical na ako.
Den: Cynical? Un pampapayat cynical?

Den: Un friend ko di nag-march for graduation kasi ang mahal ng babayaran.
Euns: Magkano ba?
Den: 6,ooo! Marcha law na un!

Moot Court Quotable Quotes:

Judge: (to Anton) You were very cool, it was like you just came from a golf course.
(to TJ) You look harassed.

Anton: (on the victims of extrajudicial killings) The victims are lying dead, buried in the ground.

NO MORE GAMES

Dear Eunice Zuleika,
Here is your horoscope
for Tuesday, March 27:

You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain when it comes to calling someone's bluff. In the process, you'll realize how low the stakes were in the first place. Could it be that you're done playing games?

Dear Eunice Zuleika,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Tuesday, March 27:

You've got a way with words, as well as glances, smiles, light but meaningful touches -- you get the picture. Maybe it's because you're reading their cues like a book, making every response obvious and natural.

Pahabol Katatawanan

[naglakad si Elliot patungo sa isang grupo, nilapitan ang lalaking nakapula at sinambit na...]

"Boss, un bill namin."

Ok naman sana. Ang problema, di sya waiter.

Alarming News

Atoy just texted me that he might also be enrolling next school year with Sam. OMG. My life's in danger. Law school, hold me tight... it's gonna be a bumpy bumpy ride. Haha

Miss you guys and well, kahit mahirap I shall welcome you with open arms.

Dahil Sweet si Patring.

Masaya ako na naging bahagi ako ng kaligayahan mo, kahit feeling ko lagi nalang nalalapastangan ang pagkatao ko pag kayo ang kasama ko, hahaha. At kahit hindi ko naman alam lahat ng nangyayari sa iyo, gusto ko lang magpakasenti at ipaalam sa iyo na isa ako sa mga FANS ng iyong pag-recover, hindi dahil sa namimiss ko ang masayahing Eunice na nagdadala ng katatawanan sa madla, kundi dahil bilang kaibigan mo, naniniwala ako na you really deserve to be happy. Yung totoo at hindi pang-guni-guni lang. :)

-Patring's Comment in Multiply

Kung Accurate Lang ang Horoscope

Today is a wonderful day for you in which you will be richly rewarded for your gentle and sensual nature. Love is coming your way, Eunice, so be on the lookout to receive what you deserve. Expose your feelings instead of trying to shelter them from the world. More likely than not, other people are probably feeling similar things, and they will be relieved to hear that they are not alone.

The Me that You Miss

Euns: Oo nga eh, mahirap talaga pag walang closure.
Den: Closure? [starts singing] The CLOSURE i get to you...

[may natira pang tiramisu sa harapan namin]
Colleen: Ano ba, nagkahiyaan pa. Kainin nyo na yan.
Patring: Ah... kaya pala TIRA-misu.

[habangnag-uusap sila tungkol sa GYM]
Sep: Feeling ko nga un atay ko un lumalaki e.
Den: ATAY tayo jan.

Story:
Naglalakad si Pam at Elliot ng may marinig silang tila mga hakbang sa kanilang likuran. Nang kanila itong lingunin ay walang tao. Pinagpatuloy ang paglalakad subalit pinukaw ang kanilang gunita ng tunog ng mas malapit na mga hakbang. Nagkatinginan ang magkaibigan, walang salita salita ay ginawa nila ang nararapat. TUMAKBO sila ng ubod ng tulin.

Ang masaklap, totoong storya ito. Tumakbo sila. Parang Amazing Race slash Shake, Rattle and Roll ang drama. Un na.

Ang aking comment, "Elliot, no matter how fast you run... kung multo un, walang silbi ito."

Euns: I should go on a blind date.
Den: Naggaganon ka?
Euns: Oo, un date with a blind?
Den: Korni. [na walang credibility, di ako nasaktan dahil i know better : see previous conversations]

May isa nanamang cute na bata, Carlo and I were talking about his brother who's into the arts and he told me that he once made a horror short flick starring one of his pamangkins... When the younger pamangkin saw his brother got ran over by a vehicle, may cute syang ginawa... He went to his uncle and said, "Bakit mo sinagasaan si Kuya?" At nagalit sya. Un na. Kids are adorable. TOTALLY.

Colleen: ise-set up kita ng blind date.
Patring: Unang tanong... tao ba yan?
Colleen: Oo naman.
Euns: Gwapo?
COlleen: Wala akong kaibigan na pangit.
Patring: Ano ba kayo, the heart sees beyond the face.
Euns and Colleen: [blank stare]

Prof: [blah blah blah] liquefy... liquidate.
Euns: [whispers] parang juice lang a.
Patty: Bume-blender.
Euns: [does the blender motion]

Yesterday, I was in my pambahay look whom I had an issue with my mom over.

Mom: Anak, baka makalimutan mo magpalit ng pants paglabas mo ganyan itsura mo.
Euns: Ma, ito na isusuot ko.
Mom: Ha? Ang sagwa. Papapasukin ka ba dun?
Euns: Pwede mag-casual.
Mom: Anak, di yan casual... sporty yan.
Euns: [inis look]
Mom: Sige, dalin mo na lang ID mo, baka di sila maniwala na estudyante ka dun.

[pagdating ko ng classroom for the PIL meeting]
Patty: Ayun na, shumo-shorts. [announces to everyone]

At nang gabi na, para lang ma-emphasize ang kamalasan ko. UMULAN PO. Twice. Un second, gabi na at malakas sya ng sobra. There. So much for being in the mood for summer.

May Kulay na mga Pisngi

Romance can be exhilarating and passionate if you're willing to take a
chance. It's time to speak up about your needs. If the quality of your love
life isn't up to par, you need to enforce your own romantic policies.

Well, as a lot of people know by now, MJ and I took time a out and decided to go our separate ways. We're still friends but since the Final Exams are nearing, I needed human warmth and emotional connection, so the other night I decided to go on a blind date... with Mike Lo. We decided to start a relationship there and then. It was a spur of the moment thing, amidst the empty Fita. On March 21st we decided to be each other's "Muffin". It's a relationship with a prescriptive period of 2 months... This summer, since we will not be seeing much of each other, I told him that what's important is EMOTIONAL FIDELITY. Therefore, he can find his ANIMAL WARMTH in the mountains while I find my HUMAN WARMTH here in Manila. We're both secure in our feelings that we promised to think of each other even if we're with someone or "something" [in Mike's case, haha] else. It's a perfect scenario, an open relationship that's gonna be fun fun fun. So there.

Euns: Oo, halimbawa pag nasa sinehan ako, iisipin ko na lang na ikaw un katabi ko. Tapos sasabihin sakin nun guy, "Teka, SINO KA BA? Bakit ka nakikikain ng popcorn ko?!"

Ralph was trying to lure me into going back into a relationship with him after our "one day" stint by announcing that he could make me happy and that if i feel stressed, I should just text him.. to that i replied, "I'll be more stressed if I do that." But I want to thank him for the donut last night which was partly because his perverse needs were gratified. Like what I would always tell Patring and Mike, "I am ready to give way for TRUE LOVE". That's after I made Patring deliver a sweet note to my "muffin" whom i sometimes call "munchkin" just because they sound alike, literally sealed with a kiss. What a lovely relationship.

So there. I am officially "in a relationship", again.

So much for my mantra, "HEALING, LETTING GO and BAWAL MAGKAMALI" for the finals. haha

FINALS Na!

"you're my highlighter, you bring out the most important parts of me"

last night's blind date was a blast. haha

"ang pagpapanggap"

"my studyplace"

Need I say More?

---
from POSTSECRET

Letter of Love #8

Hey,

Should I cut my hair? A lot of people say that when people get a haircut,
it's a sign of deep depression and cutting one's hair is but a ceremony for new
beginnings. Frankly, I fear beginnings, I fear the feeling of not knowing what's
beyond my understanding. I fear beginnings because more often than not, they are
indicative of endings. I know that life is a mere conglomeration of cycles meant
to trap you in a whirlwind of experiences and that alone tires me. I want to be
still, I need you to be still with me.

I need you to keep me grounded just so I won't get caught in yet another
emotional rollercoaster that surely will make me nauseous. I am waiting for you
with great anticipation of finally being able to stop and be contented, at least
emotionally still.

I dream not of us but of life with you. If being still means being still
with you, that is what I want to do for the rest of my life. In the meantime,
let's not stop moving until be bump into each other in the most magical of
moments that will start our eternal stillness.

Continue moving my love... that's what I'm doing, moving towards you.

Masaya ka ba?

Masaya ka ba?

Minsan ay nakikita ko sa iyong mga mata

na pilit mong kinukubli ang kalungkutan

na unti-unting bumabago sa iyong pagkatao.

Kung minsan ay gusto kong akapin ka

upan iyong malaman na nandito ako, hindi

bilang isang estrangherong dumating

upang umalis muli kundi bilang isang

mahiyaing anino na handa kang alalayan

sa iyong mga laban. Marahil ay madalas mo

akong naapakan, di man sadya ay nalilimutan

mong alamin kung nakakayanan pa ng aking

nagkukumahog na puso ang mga pangyayaring

nagmula sa iyong di dumadaloy na luha.

Lumuluha din ako, di man ito maaninag

ay marahil nadadama mo ang pagdaloy nito

kasabay ng pagdamay ng mga ulap sa aking

nananaghoy na kaluluwa. Gusto kong makitang

mahina ka hindi upang masaktan ka kundi upang

mapawi ng aking mga labi ang iyong pagsuko

na marahil ay habambuhay mong itatanggi

sa mundong sa iyong gunita ay pinagtatawanan ka.

Masaya ka ba? Wag kang mangamba,

ang kasiyahan ay nalalapit na.

Hay PIL

posting from Joan's place. Just felt like blogging. No important thing to say except for... GUSTO KO NA NG CHURVA. hehe

Just Because I'm Lonely

*sighs
meet our official Starbucks cat, Cat.
while taking a yosi break at ground floor
kung sino man yang lovers na yan

Sabi ko nga.

Dear Eunice Zuleika,

Here is your single's love horoscopefor Tuesday, March
20:

Love may not be following your timeline now -- in fact, it may seem to be
taking its own sweet time. You know what they say: You can't hurry it. Relax.
It's much better to wait for the real thing.

In Fairness

Things eventually fall into their proper places. So I believe Carlo when he told me last Saturday na... "At the end of this sem, I have a feeling that your issues will finally be resolved. We don't know if it's gonna be in a good way or a bad way, pero feeling ko mare-resolve na yan,"

*keeping fingers crossed

Things are pretty stable again. [at the risk of being laughed at by fate again, I still am optimistic] Although there still are glitches, they're minimal as opposed to the beautiful things that are happening. I can't complain. Really.

I am sort of missing a lot of people... and sometimes I am strongly tempted to put everything in the open and just announce what I truly am feeling. But like all wise men would say, "Some things are better left unsaid." Just so we can maintain the more stable status quo. In that light, I am announcing that I can't wait for FINALS to be over just so I can be a li'l more normal.

I miss my old jolly self. I've been pretty off these past few weeks. Colleen pointed out that I am abnormally quiet... well it's true. And then she went on to saying that, "He's not just a friend. You talk about him, cry about him and he's changing you. He's not just a friend." Well, partly true, at least on my perspective. He actually IS a friend, nothing more. Although there's that hope of making him something more, which is kind of impossible because we rarely see each other and we never really had potential and well, he's uhmm, not into me. I guess. Just like a majority of the men I have been attracted to, I am just a friend to him. Never the girl friend material... never the woman being chosen. I'm always a spare tire. And that is quite TRAGIC.

Which brings me to my wanting to thank Colleen for treating Patring, Patty and I to a delightful night at UCC. It was worth not studying for. Seriously.

Hmm. I should stop before I end up saying something incriminating.

My Work Here is Done

[habang nagchichikahan ang magkaklase, pumasok ang 1D at nagulantang kami ng isang mala-pickup line na...]

Ana: Excuse me. [demure tone] May class ba kayo ng Saturday?

Di namin kinaya. We know na may logical reason, apparently tina-try nya itanong kung may nakaiwan ng laptop nun Saturday.. .Still. It was a pickup line. At least it sounded like it. Un na. My work here is done. Laughtrip talaga. Alamin ba ang schedule?

Never Outdated

Euns: Beanstalk, malapit na ang birthday natin.
Beanstalk: Ilang taon na ba tayo?
Euns: Ako mag-23 ikaw mag-24... Ang petty parin ng issues natin.
Beanstalk: Ano ka ba... LOVE IS NEVER OUTDATED. It always is a relevant
issue.

Tama.

Equally Mushy Friends

"In life we always search for answers because we want to prove to ourselves
that we had the right decisions, but the truth us, we can't search for what's
not there. Things happen because it's meant to happen. That's why we forgive
people even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us and we smile
despite every painful crash in our hearts. AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE LESSON WE GOT ARE THE ANSWERS TO OUR DECISIONS." -sent by Carlo Luna

"Everytime I try to forget the great loves I've had I partly succeed. But
as a consequence, I feel like a very real part of me has died, and that I've
become partly a monster." -sent by Miko Samson from an unpublished journal entry

"I want to be a redeemable share, so that when I'm no longer satisfied with
the one I'm with, the one who set me free could bring me back to her fold." -
sent by Elliot Mondez

"We are all looking for the wrong eprson... the right wrong person...
someone we could lovingly gaze upon and think, 'This is the problem I
want to have." -sent by Rach Sy

"It's always painful to know that someone is irrevocably gone and all
that's left are memories of beautiful days that have gone by... Sometimes
it's confusing why people fall in love and then say goodbye. Why they cannot
belong forever when at first, they can never seem to part." -sent by Ces
Pallarca

"We at times sit at one corner alone, appreciating life as we see it
through our eyes.. then suddenly, someone surprises us, shares that corner until
it becomes the world." -Eunice Monsod

I dunno which ones were originally written by them or which are forwarded, but sometimes, text messaging can be deep. Some are deeper than daily conversations.

Letter of Love # 7

Everyday, I wake up and choose the idea of you. Everyday, I get dressed and hope to be given the opportunity to be with you. 

How can an already numb heart still feel grief?

How can pain compound every second and succeed in jolting the numb heart into feeling despite the threatening prose of an unresolved mystery?

When are you coming to save me from my self-induced agony?

Please dream of me tonight. Dream with me.

Let our separate lives intertwine reality and fantasy. Let our future love blur the line between clarity and sanity.

FACADE

Date of Birth: 14/05

You may find that freedom is a core issue for you today, Eunice, and
that you are yearning to break away from a situation that has been dragging you
in for quite some time now. It could be that you have continued to play your
part in a certain role that was developed for you during your childhood.
Circumstances regarding your family led you to behave in such a way as a defense
mechanism and now you know of no other way to act. Shed this
facade.

Fine. I will not be afraid to be weak anymore.

RAPE

I was reading this article on STATUTORY RAPE being a common crime now and we sort of noticed a lot of quotable quotes.

"It is quite perplexing to the Court how the alleged victim can complain of
being raped and yet say, under oath, that she enjoyed the experience." -People
v. Burgos

"Absence of love notes, mementos or pictures casta doubt on the accused's
claim that he and the victim were sweethearts." -People v. Larag

"Love is not a license for carnal intercourse through force or
intimidation." -People v. Gecomo

Panalo diba?

DARK AGES

"Kamusta naman ang lamay?" -Patty

That was Patty's opening line to me yesterday afternoon when I gloomily entered my classroom... well, it was a sort of lamay. It was a wake for the temporary death of hope and faith and happy times.

"Our friendships are now in their DARK AGES." -Ana

And it's sort of true, a lot of issues have emerged and this, for me, is the most emotional sem yet.

"I've seen you cry a lot of times this sem Euns." -Joan

Argh, it's painfully true. It's sad really, looking back, I experienced an emotionally unstable sem. But according to John Cage of Ally McBeal, when you look back at what happened in the past year and you can't particularly remember any moment where you cry, the year is a waste. I guess I'll look at it that way, it was a fruitful year, a lot of discoveries, triumphs and yeah, disappointments. It was not a year of waste, i guess.

Even if our friendships are at our dark ages at present, I am continuously waiting for renaissance... the rebirth of good times, of normal times. I know that we have accumulated a lot of treasured memories that are more than enough to help us get past the problems that we are currently facing.

Kaya guys, let's all hang in there. Let's just hope that this summer, we can wash away all the sand that has mudded our judgment. Let's just hope that after this sem, good vibes will flow.

In the meantime, let's all study for the FINALS. Goodluck everyone.

...

---
from POSTSECRET

Of Sorry and its Synonyms

"Bakit ba lagi na lang ang buhay mo punong-puno ng drama? Di ka parin ba
nagbabago? Kahit dati, ganyan ka na!" -Sam

I am at a loss for words. If tears can say everything that's needed to be said, I would've already written a novel. It's a blessing that my eyes go back to normal after an intense crying session because if I'm normal, my eyes will be puffier than cotton candy. It's hard to grasp the whole situation, there's no place for hatred, not even for blame... and it's making it way harder to cope. How can you mend a wound that was inflicted upon you unintentionally? How can you not take personally something that in reality is personal? It pains me that we are in this whole situation with nothing to do but wait for things to be better in the future.

In the meantime, I am constantly reminded of how blessed I am with friends who are always ready to cheer me up when I'm the unstable woman that I am. Thanks for the muffins Joan, thanks for the Belgian Waffle Sam, thank you for being strong for me Patty, thank you Hazel for feeling my pain, to Melo and Juanch for making me believe in love [walang kinalaman e no! hehe], to Ces for making me understand what happened and for convincing me about Lost Boy [wala nanaman kinalaman], to Ana for that heartwarming message, to Carlo for chain smoking with me and for reminding me to stop crying, to Dennis for asking if I'm ok [even if it was his birthday and we should be making him happy], to you for at least saying sorry.

Sometimes, the people whom you expect to hurt you end up standing by you and making you feel loved and the people whom you have so much faith in end up hurting you, though unintentionally... in the end, they still hurt you. I guess it's partly because they matter in your life that whatever they do becomes that big of a deal. Perhaps it's because you love them so much that in the end, you can't find it in your heart to hate them so you end up just letting it pass, like it didn't happen at all. That's what friends do right? Like what I've said in the past, I don't let go.. even if I bleed so badly, I won't let go.

I hate walking around all teary-eyed like a loser puppy. I hate it when people perceive me as sad. That is something that I as much as possible try to avoid, affecting other people negatively. That is so not me. But I guess it's true, sometimes life throws a curveball at you and well, all that's left for you to do is say sorry because the curveball turned out to be more than that. It turned out to be one viscious ball of pain. And it wasn't life that threw it at you, it was someone.

I'm sorry too... I am worrying that it might burden you. Finals pa naman, wag ka na masyado mag-isip. I'll be fine. We'll be fine. I am still trying to understand . At oo, sana madapa na uli ako kasama ka. In the meantime, I'll see you around.

Rain on my Parade, Procession and Every Li'l Sunshine

Kanina lang there was nothing to write about... it's amazing how one minute I was raving about how normal my life finally is, only to be laughed at by fate and now, I am a big joke. Again. It not only pisses me off but it's making me cry. It's so uhmm, stupid... it's so petty but the situation makes me emotionally unstable. TOTALLY. That's without him even trying, without him ever feeling even a bit of what I'm feeling. I needed to get away from there just so I can stop myself from making a fool out of myself. I can't accuse anyone of being insensitive because well, I don't deserve to be taken into consideration. And it all the more pisses me off.

Side kwento na lang to make me feel a bit better, I was crossing the street from Block 9 to Ateneo and was waiting for the cars to pass by when this car stopped and made me cross.. I thought, "Ang hot ko naman, tumitigil sya kahit may karapatan sya na mag-go..." Un pala, si RC un. May kawayan blues pa kami. Laughtrip.

Anyway, to add insult to the injury, I found out that CLV shuffled our class cards... So, there is a big possibility that I got called in class today. And I was at Starbucks, studying Civ Pro for the finals. Great. Ano pa ba ang darating?

Hay, buti na lang Shem's online. I ranted and ranted and ranted. Then she had to give me the jealousy-inducing news, SHE'S OFF TO EUROPE today. Great. And I'm stuck here in Manila, with an internship that's yet to be finalized, and a lot of other un-fun stuff to do. Saya.

I'll be probably be meeting up with Sam later around 6pm. I hope we can sort of catch up, it's been a while since I last saw that ass.

I'm thinking of going back to Starbucks to continue my interrupted studying streak. I hope and pray to God that I get in the mood again. Linshak talaga o. I read pa this article about Ali Sotto and her second husband who writes poems for her. I read some of the poems and and it broke my heart that I have no one to write similar poems for, and no one to write poems for me. Sige, depression kill me softly. Salamat ha.

Minsan talaga nagbabalak na ako maglayas sa bwisit na Neverland na yan e. Sinasaktan lang ako. Lalo na yang tinkerbell na yan. Isama mo pa yang si Lost Boy. Maghahanap na nga lang ako ng crocodile...

Carlo: Wala pa ba crocodile sa Neverland mo?
Eunice: Sige maghahanap na ako.
Carlo: Astig un si Crocodile, may clock na sya at maganda un tagline nya.
Eunice: Ano?
Carlo: ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

Things are Back to "NORMAL"

... and normal in my life is synonymous to abnormal. Now I'm confused. hehe

Well, keri na. Finals Week is fast-approaching and as much as I wanna go on a three-day leave, I don't think I can afford to bum around... especially if I have a lot of "FIRST READINGS" to finish. I do not have a lot of things to write about, simply because my life's pretty stable and the only exciting thing that happens to me is when I go to Starbucks to study...

Yeah, and the short interactions I have with the characters in my Neverland. It gets sorta boring too, it's not as exciting as before and it can be attributed to the fact that in reality, I don't think they're really interested. No, I'm not going into my self-pity mode, all I'm saying is that sometimes, it gets tiring to get excited about something that's not really worth being excited about.

Kaya kung ikaw man ay may HD sa akin, can you please step up so we can work on it? [evil grin]

My friend AM sent an email that made me smile and [sige na nga] laugh. So I'm sharing it to everyone.

Intsik: Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, hindi kayo mabubuntis.
Babae: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo.
3 months later, galit si babae: Bakit ako nabuntis?
Intsik: Baka hinubad mo
********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
GF: Hayop ka, niloloko mo ako!
BF: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawa ah!
GF: Anong wala? Nakita kita kanina, may kasama kang ibang babae, magkahawak pa kamay nyo! Niloloko mo ako!
BF: Makinig ka muna... hindi kita niloloko, maniwala ka... Yung kasama ko kanina ang niloloko ko!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* Ifugao: Apply po ako ng sundalo, sir.
Officer: Hindi ka pwede, ang dami mong sirang ngipin, bungi ka pa!
Ifugao: Bakit sir, sa gyera ba ngayon, kagatan na ang labanan?
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
A lizard fell on a table.
Genius: Oh! reptila scincidae;
Kikay: Eew, lizard!; A
stig: Shit, butiki!;
Mataray: Shucks, butiks!;
Mayaman: Yuck! Lacoste!;
Mahirap: Pare, ulam!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Bakit "S" ang nasa costume ni Superman? Wala na kasing medium! Napansin mo, fit masyado, di ba?
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Mother superior: Hala, layas dito sa kumbento!
Madre: Bakit po? Dahil po ba sa paggamit ko ng vibrator?
Mother superior: Hindi, ayoko lang may nakikiaalam sa gamit ko!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Nanay: Hala, sige, layas! Huwag ka nang bumalik dito sa bahay! Simula ngayon, huwag mo na akong tawaging nanay at hindi na rin kita tatawaging anak, naintindihan mo? Anak: Sige dude, alis na ako.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Boy: Kukunin ko ang mga bituin at ibibigay ko sa iyo!
Girl: Shut up! Hindi mo nga makuha yang kulangot mo, bituin pa!
Boy: Ay sorry, hindi ko alam na ito pala ang gusto mo!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Ice cream ba talaga yung inendorse in Pacquiao sa TV ad nya na Nestle Ice Cream? Akala ko kasi, softdrinks. Kasi, sabi nya, "Oh mga bata, Mirinda na!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
A priest at a church.
Lady: Father, ang gwapo at cute mo naman! Bakit ka pa kasi nagpari?
Priest: Dahil ayaw pumayag ng magulang ko na magmadre ako! Bruha! ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Pedro: Alam mo, yung pusa namin, kahit nakalagay sa lamesa at walang takip ang ulam namin, hindi kinakain!
Juan: Maniwala ako?!
Pedro: Totoo!
Juan: Ano ba ang ulam nyo?
Pedro: Asin!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* Boy Guwapo + Girl Ganda = Perfect Couple.
Boy Guwapo + Girl Panget = True Love.
Boy Panget + Girl Ganda = Galing Diskarte.
Boy Panget + Girl Panget = SUKOB!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Ama: Bakit ka umiiyak?
Anak: Pumasa po kasi ako sa test. Huhuhu!
Ama: Aba , magaling! Anong subject yun, anak?
Anak: Pregnancy test po itay!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Erap at Starbucks.
Erap: Waiter, isang kape nga!
Waiter: Sir, decaf ho ba?
Erap: Syempre! Bobo! Lahat ng kape, de cup! Bakit, may nakaplato ba?! ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Sa prusisyon.
Pari: Ang mga boys, sunod sa karo ni San Jose , mga girls, sa karo ni Mama Mary. Bakla: Kami father, saan kami susunod?
Pari: Mga bruha! Follow me!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Pedro: Ang tapang talaga ni Paeng! Biro mo, tumalon sa eroplano nang walang parachute!
Leo: Ohh, totoo? Saan mo naman nabalitaan yan?
Pedro: Dun sa burol nya!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Anak: Inay, ang galing ng titser ko.
Inay: Bakit naman?
Anak: Tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal.
Nanay: Eh di marunong ka nang gumalang at magpo at opo?
Anak: Natural! Tanga ka ba?
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Use "Bampira" in a sentence! Ahmm, Dodong. Pautang naman, meron ka bampira?! ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *** TUKMOL: Sino sa inyo ang matapang? Lumabas!
SIGA: Ako, matapang ako, bakit may problema ka?
TUKMOL: Wala po, survey lang ho. Ngayon, yung duwag naman ang lumabas! ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Anak: Ma, hingi sana ako ng P50.
Nanay: P40? Ang laki naman ng P30! Anong gagawin mo sa P20? Akala mo madaling kumita ng P10? O, eto P5.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Boy1: Bakit mo ako sinuntok?
Boy2: Tinawag mo akong hipopotamus!
Boy1: Last year pa yon! Tarantado!
Boy2: Eh kanina ko lang nakita picture ng hippopotamus, bobo!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
May kwento ako tungkol sa lovelife ng ampalaya. Huwag na lang! Masyadong mapait!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Grabe! Biruin mo, 150,000 pesos daw, hot oil lang! 150,000 pesos ang rebonding! Sobra naman yang David's Salon na yan! - Rapunzel.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Hindi makapagtimpla ng juice si Inday. Tahimik lang syang nakatitig sa bote ng juice. Dahil nakasulat: Concentrate.

To Pia, my Dance Partner

[clean version, just because I can't seem to post in my blog the 'F' word]

I WANNA LOVE YOU
by Akon

I see you windin n grindin up on that pole,
I kno u see me lookin' at you and you already kno
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

[Snoop Dogg]
Money in the air as mo feel grad you by your coat tail take you to the motel, hoe sale,
dont tell, wont tell, baby said I dont talk dogg but she told on me, oh well,
take a picture wit me, what the flick gon do, baby stick to me & ima stick on u,
if u pick me then ima pick on you, d-o-double g and im here to put this dick on you,
I'm stuck on pussy n urs is right, wrip ridinin them poles and them doors is tight
and ima get me a shot for the end of the night cuz pussy is pussy and baby ur pussy for life.

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin n grindin up on that pole,
I kno u see me lookin' at you and you already kno
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

[Akon]
Shorty I can see u aint lonely handfull of niggas n they all got cheese,
so u lookin at me now whats it gonna be just another tease far as I can see,
tryin get u up out this club if it means spendin' a couple dubs,
throwin bout 30 stacks in the back make it rain like that cuz I'm far from a scrub,
u kno my pedigree, ex-deala use to move phetamines,
girl I spend money like it dont mean nuthin n besides I got a thing for u.
[ these lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin n grindin up on that pole,
I kno u see me lookin' at you and you already kno
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

[Snoop Dogg]
Mobbin' through club in low pressin im sittin in the back in the smokers section (just smokin),
birds eye, I got a clear view, you cant see me but I can see u (baby I see u),
its cool we jet the mood is set,
your pussy is wet u rubbin your back and touchin your neck,
ur body is movin' u humpin' n jumpin' ur titties is bouncin' u smilin' n grinin' n lookin at me.

[Akon]
Girl n while your looking at me im ready to hit the caddy right up on the patio move the patty to the caddy,
baby u got a phatty the type I like to marry wantin to just give u everythin n thats kinda scary,
cuz I'm lovin the way you shake your ass , bouncin', got me tippin' my glass,
lil' mully dont get caught up to fast but I got a thing for you.

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin n grindin up on that pole,
I kno u see me lookin' at you and you already kno
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin n grindin up on that pole,
I kno u see me lookin' at you and you already kno
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

girl...

You guys should see us dance to this song. It's gonna be a whole new experience. haha. One of a kind.

Di Naman Bored.. Tamad lang.

Dear Eunice Zuleika,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Wednesday, March 14:

A piece of the romantic puzzle that's been missing might just snap into place now, and the person who's holding it may not be who you'd expect. Be ready for enlightenment from an unusual source.

	I, Eunice, being of sound mind, hereby bequeath my entire estate to a Ferrari. I do this because they work for the mob. My only regret in this life was that I never met my idol Tom Green.
'What will your Last Will and Testament say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Your Dating Style: Honest Relationship (Self-Directed)

You like to have an honest relationship with someone. You may or may not be faithful, but you would always tell them what's going on with you.

'What is your dating style?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Zaldy and Elvie are Proud to Announce the Birth of their Child, Eunice, on May 14, 1984.

Unfortunately, Eunice vomits candy.

Zaldy and Elvie are confused. So very confused..

What Did Your Birth Announcement Say? at QuizGalaxy.com

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

SOURCE OF JOY APPLICANTS

Den: Anong tawag sa leader ng mga potato?
Euns: Ano?
Den: Edi Potato Chief.

Den: Ano first name ni Ces?
Euns: [blank stare] Ces.
Den: Simon. Eh si Chinky?
Euns: Ano?
Den: Nini.

Quotable quotes:
Ang love parang straw yan, kahit sipsipin mo ng sipsipin kung walang laman wala ka maiinom.

Wala talagang stable na bagay sa mundo, ang TABLE nga UNSTABLE pa e.

Ayokong maging newspaper, kasi bukas may bago nanaman headline, ayoko mapag-iwanan ng balita.

[Nakaupo sa dyaryo] Wow, im on top of the news.

[Nakaupo sa codal] Wow, I'm above the law.

Ang love parang text lang yan, minsan kahit gaano kapuno ang inbox wala naman laman ang outbox at wala rin sent messages. Mahirap pa kung na wrong send ka, tapos nagreply un sinendan mo. O kaya pag out of coverage area un tina-try mo sendan, tapos pag ready na sya magreply, Low bat ka na.

Kawawa naman un halaman, wala syang choice kundi mag-grow lang.

Alf: Knock knock.
Euns: Who's there?
Alf: Gutom na gutom...
Euns: Gutom na gutom who?
Alf: [may attempt pa sumayaw] Gutom na gutom na gutom na gutom.. my milkshake brings all the boys on the yard...

Letter of Love #6

Hey,

Ever had a day where you want the world to stop bothering you just so you can feel every little movement around you? Ever felt the need to drown out all the noised so you can hear yourself breathing? Ever stopped just so you can feel life flowing through you? Today is one of those days for me. If you were only here, I would've told you to not mind me, to not look at me because I'm at my most dreaded state... I feel fragile. I fee that if i stop doing something, the world will come rushing in again to overwhelm me. On the outside, nothing much really is happening, everything's routinary, but if i can invte you to that alter-world that I have in my mind, you'll realize that I never really had peace of mind. You will know that if you'll succeed to strip me of my wall, I have a lot going on. It's hard to remain calm and logical when deep inside I feel uncertainty overcome me, slowly but purposely... skillfully.

If you were here with me now, I fear that I might be able to push you away. In the same way that I have pushed away a lot of people from my past only to feel the punishment of loneliness right after. I have to warn you that you should never GIVE UP ON ME too easily, that you should always bear in your heart and mind that I don't want you to go... no matter how ironic my actions will be... no matter how my actions contradict my declaration of how deeply I am in love with you. There really is no need for you to do something extraordinary, I just need you to be there, to hug me while I shake and cry in your arms, not able to eloquently express how I feel. I just need you to look into my eyes, hold my gands and give me that warm smile that I have fallen in love with. I just need you to wait outside my room, patiently when I askyou to leave just because I need to reorganize my own thoughts.. I need to remind myself that you are God's angel, entrusted to me in the same way that he entrusted me to you.

When I ask you to go, you need not worry because I definitely will come to you, all red and puffy-eyed with a look that will eventually help you understand what just transpired. I do not fear the day when we will have to fight because I look forward to us saying sorry and affirming each other of how love remains to be a part of our relationship. It is sad that at present I cannot fight with you yet, it's sad that I cannot yet share with you the emotional intensity that only a lovers' fight can produce. It is the same intensity that will keep us together, that does not only promise sunny fays and starry nights but also rainy days and moonless nights that are potentially cold but stronger than a superficial promise. It's way stronger than a promise, it is an undying declaration of not only love but friednship and endless competition. Yes, we will compete on who can love more passionately, more strongly, more eternally. It will be an infinite competition... I can't wait to be your adversary.

Til next time competitor... til we meet.

Lang Kwenta

Jv[while reciting]: [blah blah blah blah] victors.. [blah blah blah]
Eunice: [whispers to Ana] Victors? Victors Neris?
Ana: [empty look]
Eunice: Ah, Victors Woods.

Eunice's Labels

Doodle doodle.

Peter Pan's Wendy
Tinkerbell's "Girl Friend"
Captain Hook's Tamer
Lost Boy's Keeper.

Hehe. Written during PIL.

Aww Moment

kakagising lang ni Eunice, paglabas ng kwarto nandun ang dad nya.

Dad: [big hug] Di na tayo nagkakausap a. Alam mo naman kung ano stand ko sa smoking ha? Malaki ka na, alam mo na ang tama at mali.

Un na. Lunok.

MOOT COURT

Patty: Paano ba dapat un grouping natin sa moot court?
Deo: Boys versus girls!
Eunice: Alam ko na kung paano dapat un group one, si Mel and Juanch tapos the rest, group two na.
TJ: Di un pwede.
Eunice: Bakit?
TJ: Kasi nga diba, LOVE CONQUERS ALL?
Eunice: Sabagay.

Happy Birthday Joan

Last night was a blast... after a really yummy dinner at Burgoo, we rushed to Rustan's to buy our "stock" for the night. Joan treated us to a night of pure bliss. [hehe] I haven't enjoyed myself like that in a while. It was nice to get drunk and not mind what'll happen next.

Happy Birthday and THANK YOU Joan. Thanks for the company Ces, Patty, Haze, Ana, Chinks, Yoyen and Andre. You guys rock.

I NEVER LET GO

If there's one thing a person cannot question about my personality it would be the truth in my concept of FRIENDSHIP. Once i have decided to be someone's friend, I remain to be one, even if I am pushed away. It's hard to see people whom you have slowly grown to love and cherish slip away for the wrong reasons. I cannot go through that again. Sometimes I find myself wondering I meet these people only to be disappointed by how easily they can let go of me. I never let go, even if I end up hurting myself in the deepest of ways, I never let go.

I hope they never let go too. I hope they never did. And never do. I cannot grasp the superficiality in relationships. I cannot grasp the idea of deciding, in a split second, that one cannot be there for you anymore. I cannot grasp why people can stand to walk away just like that, without looking back, without leaving a smile. I cannot grasp how one can be so insensitive and cold from being sincere and warm.

I remain to be optimistic, in the same way that I have remained to believe in the positivity of all other past situations. I never let go, call me stupid but I will hold them... even if my hands start bleeding, I will hold on.

That is friendship. That is what a relationship should be like. You don't give up just like that. I owe it to myself to stay. I owe it to them to remain a friend. Even if they feel they don't owe me anything. Even if they don't even feel.

FOR YOU

When will he learn? When will he realise that the pain he continuously causes us is too deep now to be totally forgotten? When will he understand that he needs to get his act together before it's too late? I mourn for his future and although he inspires me to strive more towards my dreams, I am troubled of what's in store for him. He is throwing things that matter away. I see them cry not because of mere frustration but out of fear that he will not survive a life that he's supposed to be responsible for. The agony of looking at him wasting opportunities, time and support that he, in reality, is blessed with makes my heart stop beating with regret that I cannot make him decide to be the best that he can be. How can a person with much potential not see that mere potential is not enough and life is a harsh string of situations? I love him, we love him, and we don't ask of him to love us back but if only he'll love himself with even a fraction of our love for him, we'll be the happiest.

I pray, every single time, that he finds what he's looking for and that he accept God's guidance and wisdom. I don't know what else is needed from us, we, especially they, have exhausted all ways to make him understand. We will never get tired... but I hope he gets tired of the him that he has become and change. Not for us, but for himself.

Bygones

Hi, I'm Eunice... I'm a Filipino and it sometimes frustrates me. A lot of people cease to be logical for the most foolish [non]reasons and it makes me laugh. Not because it's funny but because Filipinos are expected to just laugh it off and move on. As Richard Fish from Ally McBeal would always say, "Bygones." But "bygones" has evolved into something else here in the Philippines, it's not forgiving and forgetting anymore, it's about "I'm too busy thinking of myself that I can't spare time to be bothered by something so MACRO." It is sad really, I do not condemn APATHY in this level, even I am guilty of minding my own business, no matter how superficial my own business is, because at the end of the day, my responsibility is to myself, above all other incidental responsibilities. That's something a majority of the Filipinos have forgotten, being responsible for their own selves. Never mind relationships, never mind the social and political spheres, we must start acknowledging the that we are to be blamed for whatever have befallen upon us. We have to stop pointing at other people for not performing right, we should stop acting helpless, looking at leaders as saviors who bring us to victory. Even the Spartans led by the noble Leonidus [sorry, post - 300 syndrome] didn't make it. It has to be remembered that we, as individuals, can only hope to be a single good sector in this system dominated by bad sectors resulting from a virus. We have to remain sane individually and unite, eventually. There's nothing wrong with being MICRO, in fact, I still believe that it remains to be the most effective strategy at present to initiate change.

As an optimist, I still see goodness and concern in every person that I meet, by continuing to believe, I am able to foresee a future that beams with promise. I think it's something that every Filipino should possess, the belief that things will be better, that's what should inspire us to individually strive to become achievers with the goal of not single-handedly turning things around but of contributing along with other achievers. Sometimes, leaders are mere symbols. Yes, they represent us as a people, but we cannot let them define who we really are. Yes, they are our leaders, theoretically, but we are the leaders of our own selves, we decide and it takes one decision from within us to positively affect things, the decision to SURVIVE no matter what.
Let all the existing controversies be tackled for the sake of knowledge and freedom, but it shouldn't cease us from living our lives the way it should be lived, with hope and determination that can surpass every situation that screams, "BYGONES!"

STABLE

Life's pretty stable and steady now. My deeper burden is beginning to get back on track. It's not LOVE-related, well at least not romantic in nature. I hope it continues to be clearer. As for law school, it's so-so... more like a little above mediocrity. Not good enough, I know, but at least a step higher than being mediocre right?

As for my heart, [singe POP, goes my heart] it's beginning to get used to the irregularities of the situation. The other afternoon, I was talking with Nanay [Starbucks Nanay] and Jan about how boring my life has become. Nanay said we should start dating again. I AGREE. But how? I don't know if I'm for being set up on a date again, I find it tiring and stressful. Not to mention, costly. [I don't expect guys to pay for our "first date", mahirap na magkautang na loob, unless i like the guy so much, hehe] Meeting strangers, not starting out as friends may look like the logical shortcut to relationshipsville, but I think I'm though with going that way. I don't know if I'm really beginning to feel that I'm getting old, I'm not into "kiligans" anymore. I'm starting to look for security and assurance. Which brings me back to BOREDOM. Maybe I have resigned to the fact that I'm bound to succumb to monotony, I vowed not to be like that, but it's scary that I'm now giving in.. KADIRS.

Yihee.

Saw Peter Pan last night. *kilig*

He still is the CUTEST in Neverland.

Forget TRUE LOVE.

Witty Conversations and Spur of the Moment Smiles

Koko visited Rockwell yesterday and I want to declare that I miss half of my SOURCE OF JOY tandem. Koko is like an intermission number to my dragging play. I'm sure he'll be able to read this and he'll feel touched. Diba diba? Miss you much KOKS!

I got my controversial thing na rin. Thanks.

I have a new fleeting crush, LOST BOY and [sige na nga, isama na natin] Captain Hook [ngayon may Captain Hook na talaga]. I am recognizing the fact that I am drawn to them. Si Captain Hook last night lang, si LOST BOY, last week, I think. Well, my friends are sort of beginning to like Lost Boy more than Tinker, i think because they hate it when I look down. He used to be a welcome distraction, but now, I'm beginning to really rethink my options. He's ok really, minimal interaction, no complications [almost] . He's cute and my attraction is in a way superficial [for now] because I rarely get to talk to him. IDEAL LAW SCHOOL INSPIRATION. Nasaan si Peter Pan sa lahat ng ito? Ayun, nasa Neverland parin. Walang kaalam-alam sa pagnanasa kanya. Sabi ko nga, babalik na nga lang talaga ako sa bisyo ko, LALAKI. Masaya naman ako dati eh, meeting new people...

I had two bottles of beer the other night care of Sep and Dennis. I succeeded in embarrassing myself by narrating a very incriminating beer contest story [*burps]. Dyahe. We got into a discussion about saving, "IT" for marriage. Sometimes I get scared that I'll end up with someone who's not sexually compatible with me. Kakapanood ko ito ng Ally McBeal eh. But I have to admit it's gonna be sad, SEX is an important factor in a marriage. Passion is so hard to maintain as it is. If the sex is bad, that's just tragic. That's the risk of saving one's virginity, there's no trial and error stage. "Keeping fingers crossed."

Old Friends, New Perspective

It's always nice to meet with old friends, they more often than not bring out that logic you lose everytime you have to go somewhere else. They seem to know more efficiently how to approach the dilemma that's been bothering you for months now. I miss Bon and Pol, along with all the members of the Perksquad. With them I get to pretend that law school is not sucking life out of me. That it's just another world that I decide to visit when I'm with my saner self.

"Kay LOST BOY ka na lang, kung sinasaktan ka ni Tinkerbell, bakit di mo pabayaan ang sarili mo maging masaya for a change? Nakikita mo ba ang sarili mo na hinahalikan si Tinker sa lips? Kung hindi, baka friends lang talaga kayo at caught up ka lang sa idea na he's always around. E si LOST BOY nun tinanong kita sinabi mo agad na naiimagine mo un sarili mo na kahalikan sya. Tsaka baka kasi ang tingin sa'yo ni Tinker, querida material ka, na attracted ka sa kanya dahil sa situation. Ayon sa kwento mo, ok naman si Lost Boy, gwapo, matalino at napapatawa ka... ok na un."

Tama rin eh. But I feel good, even in pain. And I'm bacl to being a law student again, loving disputes and settlements. I miss being carefree. I miss not having to think of what's in store for me.

Our Fairytale

Well, the fact that we were supposed to be studying last night didn't stop us from coming up with stupid things. Since my friends and I are all, in one way or the other, involved romantically [may it be seriously or uhmm, foolishly] we decided to come up with our very own fairytale catalogue as codenames for the couples and non-couples.

Beauty and the Beast = clue: they're a real couple. hehe
Sleepy and Grumpy = newly discovered HD
Princess and the Pea = for the woman claiming to have a girlfriend
Sleeping Beauty and Prince Charming = for the BACKYARD ROMANCE
Goldilocks and the three Bears = ehem

Pero ang pinakapanalo sa lahat, for the IT MAY NEVER COME AGAIN COUPLE...
JACK and the BEANSTALK. Saktong sakto eh. Un na un... Siraulo talaga kayo lahat.

Break

We take a break in silence; not having
to talk, meet eye to eye and interact
is sometimes easier and less complicated.
The unspoken words are chosen to be
unspoken because they are not mere
words but emotions guised in letters.

I watch you purposely, carefully
memorizing how you move and not move.
Pretending to not feel my gaze, I
assume is your way of protecting you
and me. No US, no WE, just you
and me... forgotten.

It's really all about you. Sorry
that I cannot let go of the possibilities.
If you let me, I will talk not through
my mouth but through my heart
that silently shouts, "Fool!" over and over.
To be a fool is my comfort, pain is my wall.

There are moments when you're there
but I don't feel you, i'd rather really
that you hurt me and be there than
leave and bring with you my ability
to feel and be felt. Don't ever mistake
me for sadness, for sadness is my friend.

If you were a type of SHARE what would you be?

It was the question that I was so excited to be asked this afternoon during our Corp class... I stood up immediately after my name was called and anticipated the question... but he went straight to another boring question, so I had to remind him that it was the "STAPLE QUESTION" for the day. How did my recit go?

Eunice:
I would NOT BE a common share because I refuse to be merely RESIDUAL.
I want to be a preferred share, because I'd like to think i'm PRIVILEGED.
I could also be a preferred no par value share because i'm FULLY PAID and NON-ASSESSABLE.

Lastly, I am a FOUNDER'S SHARE because... I'D LIKE TO BE FOUND. [class applauded and laughed]

Atty Dy: Kung entertainment value lang ang pag-uusapan, shumeshento na ang grade mo. E kung redeemable at non-redeemable ano ka?

Eunice: I am a NON-Redeemable share because once I go, I never come back....

Atty Dy: Patulan ba. Pero diba ang FOUNDER'S SHARE 5 years lang pwede?

Eunice: Sir, I'd rather live a good FIVE YEARS found than not found.

Need I say more?

Of Changes and Lotsa Tears

Last night was just bad, bad, bad... I ended up with a cold and a runny nose worse than a river. There are things that are out of my control, as much as I want to make them all go away and fix the things that complicate our peaceful and fun relationships, sometimes it is hard to fight the system. I appreciate the gesture, I appreciate people's sticking with me amidst my own little "crying scene", I felt scared and helpless and betrayed. I didn't think it could happen to me, I am one gullible optimist talaga. Well, it hasn't happened totally, in fact, this morning, it felt like things are back to normal, except for my sort of puffy eyes and runny nose of course.

I've never been the emotional one, but day after day, I feel that I am becoming more and more emotionally unstable. It saddens me that I can't live up to my old image of a grounded woman. But it's positive in a way, I get to see and recognize people who are willing to be strong for me when I am weak. That in those rare days that I need some cheering up, they stepped up and reminded me how beautiful life still is, no matter what. Than when I feel unbelievably frail and fragile, they were there to wrap their arms around me so I wouldn't find myself on the ground, crying and being pathetic.

Last night was bad, bad, bad but today... I'm ready to be better, better, better. =P

I Need to Write This Down

I met a really brilliant, funny and adorable kid last night. He did a lot of really interesting things in the past. I can't tell you what these things are but they definitely made my night [and day na rin]. He's a go-getter, he hates it when people lie and he's gullible este innocent. He used to be amicable and his neighbors loved him, in fact, they helped him in his little project. He has a friend who used to be head over heels in love with Isabel Granada and even shed blood for her. He did a lot of [stupid] but cute stuff that made me want to pinch his cheeks. I wasn't mocking him or laughing at him, natutuwa lang talaga ako. Ah, and he hates it when things are dirty, that's why he loves alcohol... uhmm, both the disinfectant and social lubricant.

I hope you guys meet him in the future. He's adorable really.