I guess it was a mere glimpse of fleeting hope re: what could be in the very far future. It's so me, falling for a string of happy moments not minding its blatant temporariness. I am letting TINKERBELL go FOR NOW not because I don't feel anything for him anymore but because the PRESENT is obviously NOT THE RIGHT TIME. It's a sad reality that I have to face. In the same way that I have to let go of feeling compelled to hear from him, or to interact with him because I feel a sense of security knowing that he's around. My life is OK, it's stable and it's supposed to inspire me to be the best that I can be.
It must be really because of Valentine's that my hormones are making me feel inadequate and insecure again. He's bad for me without him knowing it. He is not at fault because for all we know, he's just being a good friend still. Never mind the extra affection that my friends see him give me, which I refuse to recognize. Never mind the sweet little details that made me secretly smile and endear him to me. Never mind my wanting to skip when I walk with him. Never mind the way I transform into a silly kid when he attempts to be cute or funny. I'LL LET HIM BE. In the meantime, I have to teach myself to be contented again, independent and complete without that little significant piece of the puzzle that is him.
I should really snap out of it. If he knows that I've been in sweet misery because of him, I'm quite sure he'll leave. I CAN'T SURVIVE THAT. I can't stand the idea of losing him just because I pushed it.
I'm letting him go... for now. Ask me again tomorrow, I might've changed my mind by then. After all, "FLEETING" is the word of my life.
It must be really because of Valentine's that my hormones are making me feel inadequate and insecure again. He's bad for me without him knowing it. He is not at fault because for all we know, he's just being a good friend still. Never mind the extra affection that my friends see him give me, which I refuse to recognize. Never mind the sweet little details that made me secretly smile and endear him to me. Never mind my wanting to skip when I walk with him. Never mind the way I transform into a silly kid when he attempts to be cute or funny. I'LL LET HIM BE. In the meantime, I have to teach myself to be contented again, independent and complete without that little significant piece of the puzzle that is him.
I should really snap out of it. If he knows that I've been in sweet misery because of him, I'm quite sure he'll leave. I CAN'T SURVIVE THAT. I can't stand the idea of losing him just because I pushed it.
I'm letting him go... for now. Ask me again tomorrow, I might've changed my mind by then. After all, "FLEETING" is the word of my life.
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