one rainy afternoon
i was staring at life passing me by
then they had to announce something
so i needed coffee to be sane
and get the ransom for my kidnapped phone
From My Stagnant Cellphone's Camera
one rainy afternoon
i was staring at life passing me by
then they had to announce something
so i needed coffee to be sane
and get the ransom for my kidnapped phone
Altruism and Pain
I don't believe in altruism, although I salute people who think of other people first because their acts result to something positive, as opposed to those who choose to be selfish, there still is a subtle pay-off. Doing good makes them feel good and fulfilled. There is no such thing as absolute selflessness, people do things because they still are benefited or there is a promise of benefit in the future. Which brings me to why doing good still is the better choice at least in most situations. It's like hitting two birds with one stone. But sometimes we are compelled to make decisions which will do good to other people but will break us. It's hard to see where the benefit is, but for a persons like me who's been there, who's done it, the reward of not feeling guilty, though it does not offset the pain, is enough. We hear a lot of insights about thinking of yourself above all, of how the world is a big SURVIVORS' ARENA, but I would argue that PAIN is a promise of good things to come. Pain is like St. John, it arrives to spread the good news of salvation, of better days, of hope.
Pain should be seen as a positive sign. The only thing that will stop the pain from leaving will be if we, as persons, allow ourselves to get disheartened by it. Unfortunately, PAIN sometimes is nothing more than pain. That's when it starts to suck big time.
Sometimes we feel pain that is impossible to drive away, the kind of pain that continuously digs a hole of emptiness within us, the kind that stays stubbornly, the kind that becomes part of our permanent pool of loneliness. Sometimes, we have to learn to live with it, to bring it with us everyday like a BADGE OF HONOR. This kind of pain is unforgiving, it becomes part of us, it becomes one with us. It's the kind of pain that doesn't kill us but makes us stronger. Trade-offs.
Why did I talk about altruism? Because living with that pain is a form of altruism in itself. Being happy despite that pain is selflessness demonstrated. Choosing to continue life amidst the lurking pain and continuing to contribute to the world is something that is an achievement in itself.
Pain is like one's guardian angel. It reminds us to be ready, to not stop feeling... It reminds us that we need to be reminded.
Pain should be seen as a positive sign. The only thing that will stop the pain from leaving will be if we, as persons, allow ourselves to get disheartened by it. Unfortunately, PAIN sometimes is nothing more than pain. That's when it starts to suck big time.
Sometimes we feel pain that is impossible to drive away, the kind of pain that continuously digs a hole of emptiness within us, the kind that stays stubbornly, the kind that becomes part of our permanent pool of loneliness. Sometimes, we have to learn to live with it, to bring it with us everyday like a BADGE OF HONOR. This kind of pain is unforgiving, it becomes part of us, it becomes one with us. It's the kind of pain that doesn't kill us but makes us stronger. Trade-offs.
Why did I talk about altruism? Because living with that pain is a form of altruism in itself. Being happy despite that pain is selflessness demonstrated. Choosing to continue life amidst the lurking pain and continuing to contribute to the world is something that is an achievement in itself.
Pain is like one's guardian angel. It reminds us to be ready, to not stop feeling... It reminds us that we need to be reminded.
FLOAT TOGETHER [inside joke]
Panalo talaga ang McDonald's Powerplant. It's the new "place to be" for lovers. Ang ganda na ng sounds, masarap pa tumambay. Syempre pa ang aming favorite poster na naga-advertise ng float with the tagline, "FLOAT TOGETHER" habang may naglalandian na magkasintahan sa picture. Un na. Bagong pickup line, "Let's Float together." sabay abot ng coke or sprite float sa kasintahan.
Laughtrip ng sobra. Pag natuloy ang plano namin, may mga pusong mag-uumpisang magmahal. Haha. Idamay na natin ang kyat-kyat [di ko alam ang tamang spelling] na flowers turned fruits with the "Stairway to Heaven" surprise at hanapan drama.
Sa tingin ko isang tao lang ang tatawa ng tatawa sa entry na'to. Sige, ibabalato ko na yan sa'yo. Sana matawa ka at mahulog sa upuan mo.
Laughtrip ng sobra. Pag natuloy ang plano namin, may mga pusong mag-uumpisang magmahal. Haha. Idamay na natin ang kyat-kyat [di ko alam ang tamang spelling] na flowers turned fruits with the "Stairway to Heaven" surprise at hanapan drama.
Sa tingin ko isang tao lang ang tatawa ng tatawa sa entry na'to. Sige, ibabalato ko na yan sa'yo. Sana matawa ka at mahulog sa upuan mo.
Thank You for Sharing
Hey Jealousy by Gin Blossoms
Well tell me do you think it'd be alright
If I could just crash here tonight
You can see I'm in no shape for driving
Anyway I've got no place to go
And you know it might not be that bad
You were the best I'd ever had
If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago
I may not be alone
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take its place
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy
You can trust me not to think
And not to sleep around
And if you don't expect too much from me
You might not be let down
'Cause all I really want is to be with you
Feeling like I matter too
If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago
I might be here with you
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take its place
Hey Jealousy
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take its place
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy
Well tell me do you think it'd be alright
If I could just crash here tonight
You can see I'm in no shape for driving
And anyway I've got no place to go
And you know it might not be that bad
You were the best I'd ever had
If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago
I may not be alone
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take its place
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy
You know she took my heart
Well there's only one thing I couldn't star
All For You
Sister Hazel
Finally I figured out,
But it took a long,long time.
Now, I'll never turn about,
Maybe 'cause i'm tryin'
There's been time,
I'm so confused.
And all my roads,
Well,they lead to you.
I just can't turn and walk away...
It's hard to say what it is,
I see in you.
Wonder if i'll always be with you.
Words can't say it,
And I can't do,
Enough to prove,
It's all for you.
And I thought i'd seen it all,
'Cause it's been a long,long time.
Oh, I bottled up and trip and fall,
Wonderin' if i'm blind.
There's been time,
I'm so confused.
And all my roads,
Well,they lead to you.
I just can't turn and walk away...
It's hard to say what it is,
I see in you.
Wonder if i'll always be with you.
Words can't say it,
I can't do,
Enough to prove,
It's all for you.
Rain comes pouring down,
(Pouring down).
Falling from blue skies,
(Falling from blue skies..)
Words without a sound,
Comin' from your eyes...
Finally I figured out,
But it took a long,long time.
Oh, Now, I'll never turn about,
Maybe 'cause i'm tryin'
There's been time,
I'm so confused.
And all my roads,
Well,they lead to you.
I just can't turn and walk away...
It's hard to say what it is,
I see in you.
Wonder if i'll always be with you.
Words can't say it,
I can't do,
Enough to prove,
It's all for you...
Well,It's hard to say what it is,
I see in you.
Wonder if i'll always be with you.
Words can't say it,
I can't do,
Enough to prove,
It's all for you...
Ohh...
It's hard to say...
Yeah,It's hard to say-ay-hay.
It's all for you..
------
i just wanna be reminded that I know these songs. *winks
Pursuit of HappYness
I haven't watched the flick, heck I haven't even seen the trailer. I just feel that it is the most appropriate title for whatever it is that I am going to write in this entry. Let me start by saying that at this point in my life, I am sure that I am happy. Also, I am sure that in the future, I could be happier. At what level of happiness will I stop? I don't know, but the idea of better things to come makes me smile, even when I'm alone thinking of the things that could be.
Now, off to the more pertinent issue of what my plans are in the situation that I am in. I have written a litany about how I vow to move on and protect myself ... I even wrote a lot of things about giving him up and accepting that all we have right now cannot surpass the level of more than being friends. Yet, at the back of my mind, similar to all the hopeless romantics, optimists and idealists in this world, I know that there still is hope. That little possibility of working things out. I do not want to admit it, but I still cling to that tiny bit of hope. No matter how inconvenient, no matter how close to a thin thread it might be. I still am holding on.
My friends often ask me why, they even remind me of the presence of the other options, the less complicated ones. I guess I can never explain why it is him that I choose, why Peter Pan remains to be a fairytale and why Lost Boy will continue to be lost. Why even if Tinkerbell is inappropriate, I am completely drawn to the idea of him bringing back the magic in my already boring and monotonous life. I can never put logic into all these things because LOGIC muddles the clarity that only being IRRATIONAL can give. Tinkerbell is not even a guy if logic rules... but he is a guy. He is, at present, my guy.
It's ironic really that Neverland is the embodiment of my life. I never dreamed of being Wendy in the past and even today, I do not see why I chose Neverland over a wonderful castle or a heavenly paradise or even a grassy field. All I know is that my Neverland will never be magical without Tinkerbell and even if Peter Pan decides to leave, or if Lost Boy will disappear to form an alliance with Captain Hook, I'll be ok with it. But if this fairy decides to fly and abandon the little wonderland that we are in, my pursuit will bring me to a different direction. Perhaps, to a more gloomy one.
It's more than hard to be in my position. It's even more than painful. I guess my Pursuit starts when my misery begins. I don't know if Tinkerbell knows, but I know that he feels. He may be ignoring it or maybe trying to repair the bridge going back to friendship. I do not expect him to cross it with me, I never did... but if somehow, he finds it in his heart that it's actually worth it... I'll be more than happy to cross it again with him. That's where this fantasy will end and reality will set in. It's sad that at this point, I cannot share the happiness that he makes me feel, unknowingly, perhaps unintentionally. I might never will.
It's a PURSUIT, I know. But when does it become in sight? When does the pursuit end and when will simple happiness begin?
Now, off to the more pertinent issue of what my plans are in the situation that I am in. I have written a litany about how I vow to move on and protect myself ... I even wrote a lot of things about giving him up and accepting that all we have right now cannot surpass the level of more than being friends. Yet, at the back of my mind, similar to all the hopeless romantics, optimists and idealists in this world, I know that there still is hope. That little possibility of working things out. I do not want to admit it, but I still cling to that tiny bit of hope. No matter how inconvenient, no matter how close to a thin thread it might be. I still am holding on.
My friends often ask me why, they even remind me of the presence of the other options, the less complicated ones. I guess I can never explain why it is him that I choose, why Peter Pan remains to be a fairytale and why Lost Boy will continue to be lost. Why even if Tinkerbell is inappropriate, I am completely drawn to the idea of him bringing back the magic in my already boring and monotonous life. I can never put logic into all these things because LOGIC muddles the clarity that only being IRRATIONAL can give. Tinkerbell is not even a guy if logic rules... but he is a guy. He is, at present, my guy.
It's ironic really that Neverland is the embodiment of my life. I never dreamed of being Wendy in the past and even today, I do not see why I chose Neverland over a wonderful castle or a heavenly paradise or even a grassy field. All I know is that my Neverland will never be magical without Tinkerbell and even if Peter Pan decides to leave, or if Lost Boy will disappear to form an alliance with Captain Hook, I'll be ok with it. But if this fairy decides to fly and abandon the little wonderland that we are in, my pursuit will bring me to a different direction. Perhaps, to a more gloomy one.
It's more than hard to be in my position. It's even more than painful. I guess my Pursuit starts when my misery begins. I don't know if Tinkerbell knows, but I know that he feels. He may be ignoring it or maybe trying to repair the bridge going back to friendship. I do not expect him to cross it with me, I never did... but if somehow, he finds it in his heart that it's actually worth it... I'll be more than happy to cross it again with him. That's where this fantasy will end and reality will set in. It's sad that at this point, I cannot share the happiness that he makes me feel, unknowingly, perhaps unintentionally. I might never will.
It's a PURSUIT, I know. But when does it become in sight? When does the pursuit end and when will simple happiness begin?
An Open Letter To a Fallen Angel
Even Angels Fall
You've found hope
You've found faith,
Found how fast she could take it away.
Found true love,
Lost your heart.
Now you don't know who you are.
She made it easy,
Made it free,
Made you hurt til you couldn't see.
Sometimes it stops,
Sometimes it flows,
But baby that is how love goes.
You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.
It's a secret no one tells;
One day it's heaven, one day it's hell.
It's no fairy tale;
Take it from me,
That's the way it's supposed to be.
You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.
You laugh, you cry, no one knows why
Behold the thrill of it all...
You're on the ride
You might as well
Open your eyes
You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.
Even angels fall
Even angels fall
I am glad that I was there for you, no matter how unexpected, how unlikely and odd it felt and looked like. In the short period of time that I have known you, you have managed to entertain me and make me smile... these things, I appreciate. But to know that you trust me even a bit, enough to open up and show me the fallen angel that you are made me smile even more. Thank you for making me smile last night, it's not everyday that I feel I am taken seriously.
For the battles that you're in at present, let it be known that I support you and that I pray for you. Don't blame yourself for things over which you have no control, be glad that in this chapter of your life, you continue to be strong, giving in once in a while to fragility that is part of our reality. Don't give up now, we, your friends, can be strong for you if only you'll let us. Continue giving us that smile and never let go of your faith and optimism. Even if you have fallen, nothing's gonna stop you from standing up again.
You are an angel, don't let anything or anyone take that away from you.
SMILE NAMAN TAYO
It was more like a wakeup call that I should definitely begin to move on. It just hit me that there's no point in holding on to something that's not only slowly slipping away but something that has never been on my hands in the first place. ACCEPTANCE is the key, things'll eventually be back to normal without him realizing that the past few weeks were eventful emotionally because of him. Now that it's quite clear that "WE cannot happen", I'm open to diverting my attention to someone else. Someone who's more willing. This time I'll be smarter, and more protective of myself.
Off to more interesting and lighter things... this morning, I wasn't able to contain my infatuation that while having a yosi break with Lew, I without warning, blurted out... "Sobrang cute talaga ni Peter Pan no?!" He gave me a "kadiri-to-death" look, said something unbelievably incriminating and violently protested that I shouldn't talk to him about these things because it was too much for his "MACHO ego". Fine. But I will continue announcing that I CRUSH HIM. hehe.
To more kababawan stuff, my two "alagas" slash studdy buddies made me believe in "LOVE" again. I'm so happy for them, I know "it" when i see it. Like what I said to my guy alaga, "MOVE IT! Don't let love pass you by."
Starbucks has become my little Neverland, fine, including Good Earth.
I have a new crush. Sabi nga ni John Cage sa Ally Mc Beal, "I'm Drawn to him."
Off to more interesting and lighter things... this morning, I wasn't able to contain my infatuation that while having a yosi break with Lew, I without warning, blurted out... "Sobrang cute talaga ni Peter Pan no?!" He gave me a "kadiri-to-death" look, said something unbelievably incriminating and violently protested that I shouldn't talk to him about these things because it was too much for his "MACHO ego". Fine. But I will continue announcing that I CRUSH HIM. hehe.
To more kababawan stuff, my two "alagas" slash studdy buddies made me believe in "LOVE" again. I'm so happy for them, I know "it" when i see it. Like what I said to my guy alaga, "MOVE IT! Don't let love pass you by."
Starbucks has become my little Neverland, fine, including Good Earth.
I have a new crush. Sabi nga ni John Cage sa Ally Mc Beal, "I'm Drawn to him."
EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCE
Don't you get it, John, I think I crave some kind of dependency and that makes me feel like a failure as a woman ! - Ally Mc BealIt rarely gets admitted by independent women, but we in different moments [i.e. thirdwheeling, listening to a love song, watching a sappy flick] long for emotional dependence once in a while. Sometimes, it's really nice to be fragile just to we'll feel that someone is willing to be strong for us. It's true that dependence is a sign of weakness but I guess we want to be weak once in a while, to be babied and to be treated as the "weaker sex" not because we like being looked down upon but because women are so manipulative and the only way for men [who most of the time are insensitive] to step up is by us acting as damsels in distress.
Emotional dependence is a coping mechanism for us to not feel disappointed.
I miss emotional dependence, i miss being weak because I know that someone's going to hug me, hold my hand, or make a funny face for me to make me realize that things are gonna be better, that they'll fall into their proper places, in the future. I miss doing silly things with someone willing to be silly with me, I miss being woken up by a mushy good morning call from someone who just wants me to wake up being cheered up by him. I miss being held, being whispered to, being surprised with sudden moments of sappiness. I miss receiving love letters, flowers, going to dinner, having coffee, having deep conversations involving dreams and plans in the future. I miss waking up with a smile, reminded of how he kissed me goodnight the last time. I miss being called sweetie, angel, baby, cupcake and anything that only a person in love can even bear to utter.
I miss emotional dependence.
ELECTIONS and IMPERFECTIONS
It was bound to be personal, but it was not supposed to be dirty.
This year's Student Council Election is amazingly interesting with a lot of human drama and side shows. I was talking to Dennis the other night and we got into a discussion about judging and personal attacks. He said that we are in fact supposed to know these details regarding the candidates, it is for the voters to decide who to vote for and which facts are to be taken into consideration. It's a part of reality, we are all judgmental, we judge people by the things we know and find out about them and even if sometimes we don't want to be influenced by the unimportant information that we are offered with, we still get affected, whether we like it or not. For me, elections shouldn't destroy friendships, working relationships and shouldn't tamper with a person's reputation... it shouldn't be a means to creating animosity amongst people who can possibly coexist peacefully.
We cannot discount the fact that it is a competition, but competitions need not be dirty. If the elections will leave the studentry divided and broken, then it will not serve its very purpose. Elections are supposed to unify us, not disconnect us into apathy, once again.
This year's Student Council Election is amazingly interesting with a lot of human drama and side shows. I was talking to Dennis the other night and we got into a discussion about judging and personal attacks. He said that we are in fact supposed to know these details regarding the candidates, it is for the voters to decide who to vote for and which facts are to be taken into consideration. It's a part of reality, we are all judgmental, we judge people by the things we know and find out about them and even if sometimes we don't want to be influenced by the unimportant information that we are offered with, we still get affected, whether we like it or not. For me, elections shouldn't destroy friendships, working relationships and shouldn't tamper with a person's reputation... it shouldn't be a means to creating animosity amongst people who can possibly coexist peacefully.
We cannot discount the fact that it is a competition, but competitions need not be dirty. If the elections will leave the studentry divided and broken, then it will not serve its very purpose. Elections are supposed to unify us, not disconnect us into apathy, once again.
... at ako.
Sana.
Kung alam mo lang kung gaano kahaba ang oras na ginugugol ko sa pag-iisip sa'yo, tatanungin mo rin ako kung paano ko nagagawang tapusin ang mga bagay na kailangan ko gawin. Sa mga panahon na nakikita ko ang sarili kong tulala, malalim na iniintindi kung bakit sa dinami-rami ng mga pangyayari na pwede ko pagtuunan ng pansin ay tanging ikaw ang pumupuno sa utak kong tuliro. Wala akong ibang pinipiling gawin kundi ngumiti na lamang, kalakip ang pag-asa na kahit kalahati lamang ay mapatulala ka din.
Sa pag-aanalisa ng bawat minuto na nariyan ka, sa pagbabalik-tanaw sa mga masasayang sandali na lingid sa iyong kaalaman ay nakapagpatibok ng aking pusong muntik nang tumigil nang dahil sa kalungkutan... walang ibang masambit kundi salita ng pasasalamat.
Hindi lingid sa mababaw at mapusok na kaalaman ng aking pagkatao na maaring ni minsan ay hindi sumagi sa iyong isipan kung gaano kalalim ang sugat na iniwan ng pana ni Kupido sa aking puso. Sa bawat araw na nagdaraan ay nananatili lamang akong isang pamilyar na mukhang dumadaan sa iyong magulong mundo.
Ngunit pinili kita, pinili ko ito sa lahat ng alternatibong sitwasyon na maaring ilagay ko ang aking sarili. Pinili kong tahakin ang landas na puno ng tinik sa halip na mga rosas sapagkat alam kong may posibilidad na ang naghihintay sa dulo nito ay ikaw.
Pinili kita... at ako... Sana, kung di man sa kasalukuyan ay piliin mo din, sa hinaharap gaano man kalapit o kalayo.
Hindi ako habambuhay na maghihintay, ngunit matagal pa bago ako'y tuluyang sumuko, bago ikaw ay aking isuko. Kasingtagal pa ng oras na gugugulin ng aking nananaghoy na puso para matutunan nitong tapusin ang pagtibok na sa ngayon ay nakasalalay... SA IYO.
Kung alam mo lang kung gaano kahaba ang oras na ginugugol ko sa pag-iisip sa'yo, tatanungin mo rin ako kung paano ko nagagawang tapusin ang mga bagay na kailangan ko gawin. Sa mga panahon na nakikita ko ang sarili kong tulala, malalim na iniintindi kung bakit sa dinami-rami ng mga pangyayari na pwede ko pagtuunan ng pansin ay tanging ikaw ang pumupuno sa utak kong tuliro. Wala akong ibang pinipiling gawin kundi ngumiti na lamang, kalakip ang pag-asa na kahit kalahati lamang ay mapatulala ka din.
Sa pag-aanalisa ng bawat minuto na nariyan ka, sa pagbabalik-tanaw sa mga masasayang sandali na lingid sa iyong kaalaman ay nakapagpatibok ng aking pusong muntik nang tumigil nang dahil sa kalungkutan... walang ibang masambit kundi salita ng pasasalamat.
Hindi lingid sa mababaw at mapusok na kaalaman ng aking pagkatao na maaring ni minsan ay hindi sumagi sa iyong isipan kung gaano kalalim ang sugat na iniwan ng pana ni Kupido sa aking puso. Sa bawat araw na nagdaraan ay nananatili lamang akong isang pamilyar na mukhang dumadaan sa iyong magulong mundo.
Ngunit pinili kita, pinili ko ito sa lahat ng alternatibong sitwasyon na maaring ilagay ko ang aking sarili. Pinili kong tahakin ang landas na puno ng tinik sa halip na mga rosas sapagkat alam kong may posibilidad na ang naghihintay sa dulo nito ay ikaw.
Pinili kita... at ako... Sana, kung di man sa kasalukuyan ay piliin mo din, sa hinaharap gaano man kalapit o kalayo.
Hindi ako habambuhay na maghihintay, ngunit matagal pa bago ako'y tuluyang sumuko, bago ikaw ay aking isuko. Kasingtagal pa ng oras na gugugulin ng aking nananaghoy na puso para matutunan nitong tapusin ang pagtibok na sa ngayon ay nakasalalay... SA IYO.
Random Moments in Pixels
a glimpse of hope
brown eyes from new contacts
before hosting Mr. Law School
before ROCKIN' IT OUT at the UP Fair
the butterfly tattoo i got from the Fair.. taking UP with me.
un na.
I Was Kidnapped
Thanks to Patring, I had dinner at Goodah with a fart-inducing funny group composed of Patring, Mike Lo, Peewee, Patty and myself. Laughtrip night.
GANUN PALA HA!
Dear Eunice Zuleika,Anyway, I panicked just a few minutes ago because some unknown entry was posted in my MULTIPLY site. I readily assumed that someone hacked my account so I changed my password to something really interesting [name of the guy I am currently "obsessed" with] . Un pala, my friend AM, whose blog I am a "member" of, posted the "This SUCKS" entry and it got cross-posted to my MULTIPLY ACCOUNT. Akala ko may adverse party na ako e. Buti na lang. hehe.
Here is your horoscope
for Monday, February 19:
Fresh starts only happen when old situations are finally put to rest. It may be difficult to let this come to a conclusion, but it's necessary if you want to move on with your life. Breathe. Learn to accept reality.
Btw, my eyes are naturally brown, i just sort of enhanced it and ended my "BULAG SESSIONS" by buying myself brown contacts. Yihee, feeling hot ako today. =P Feeling foreigner with the song BROWN EYES playing on the background.
Thanks to everyone who has been reading my blog, to my new readers, welcome. Ok na ako ulit, nagtatagalog na e. Ibig sabihin I'm not "lasing sa pag-ibig" anymore.
Damn. Is that even a good thing?
ILLOGICAL
Sometimes I think of you, sometimes I don't.
Not because I have forgotten but because
I, at times, cannot pinpoint where the line is.
I know that in those moments that I don't
get reminded of the YOU that exist, I unconsciously
still hold on to thoughts of you, which by now,
already are parts of me.
The only thing I lost is total dependence.
I have decided to take control of my emotions
and live my life just like I used to.
This is with hope that I was THAT side of me
that you have fallen for, or at least got comfortable with.
I will be responsible for what I will become until
you realize that you want to be a part of me too.
I won't wear my shades anymore, I am through with being afraid.
I know that you know, or barely feel and understand.
We never talk about it, we never go that way.
Maybe we're just not ready, YOU'RE not ready.
For me, it's not a question of WHEN anymore but of HOW.
It's not a confusion of WHAT we have but of WHY.
It's not a question of LOGIC but of something ILLOGICAL.
Not because I have forgotten but because
I, at times, cannot pinpoint where the line is.
I know that in those moments that I don't
get reminded of the YOU that exist, I unconsciously
still hold on to thoughts of you, which by now,
already are parts of me.
The only thing I lost is total dependence.
I have decided to take control of my emotions
and live my life just like I used to.
This is with hope that I was THAT side of me
that you have fallen for, or at least got comfortable with.
I will be responsible for what I will become until
you realize that you want to be a part of me too.
I won't wear my shades anymore, I am through with being afraid.
I know that you know, or barely feel and understand.
We never talk about it, we never go that way.
Maybe we're just not ready, YOU'RE not ready.
For me, it's not a question of WHEN anymore but of HOW.
It's not a confusion of WHAT we have but of WHY.
It's not a question of LOGIC but of something ILLOGICAL.
INNOCENCE
How do you capture innocence?
Through a stroke of color on paper.
How do you capture innocence?
through a helpless cry of a sweet child.
How do you capture innocence?
Through the eyes of an oblivious kid at work.
How do you capture innocence?
Through a baby's incoherent giggle.
How do you capture innocence?
Why would you want to capture something that's beautifuly free?
------------
The Purple Poem
----------------
written Oct. 11, 2006
Through a stroke of color on paper.
How do you capture innocence?
through a helpless cry of a sweet child.
How do you capture innocence?
Through the eyes of an oblivious kid at work.
How do you capture innocence?
Through a baby's incoherent giggle.
How do you capture innocence?
Why would you want to capture something that's beautifuly free?
------------
The Purple Poem
----------------
written Oct. 11, 2006
OK
It's definitely harder to let someone go when he's just there. Just when I'm ready to turn around and start living a normal life again, one word from him and my weak wall begin to crumble. The thought of spending yet another forbidden time with him, I must admit, made me hurry to our little sanctuary. Then it didn't push through. All I said was OK. It's symbolic really. OK means a lot of things. OK means, I'm trying so fucking hard to be OK again. OK means, if you tell me to stay, I will. OK means, I'm gonna be fine without you, if only you'll let me. OK means I'm NOT OK now. OK means, please stop hurting me. OK means OVERKILL.
Thanks to a friend of mine, another window has opened. At the back of my mind, I know that it's not over yet. That there is a possibility that I'll be sad again. But the optimistic me would like to think that I can at least hold on to the happy feeling of the many possibilities that this scenario is bringing with it. The girls and I got into a conversation at Gloria Jeans about how a lot of things happen for a reason. One said that I could have just moved on, after crying about him and accepting the fact that I may have pushed him away. I could've just not gotten the news, I could've believed that it finally is over but in some twist of peculiar fate, I did find out. All I was able to come up with was, "Lord, tama na po ang laro!... please." It's hard but this time, I find it more practical to hold back. To protect myself a bit and not give all that I have so I would still be in the position to move on if things don't go the way I want it to go.
It's a POKER GAME, I won't say pass but I'll win my way by being stonecold. POKER-FACED and strong... at least on the outside.
Thanks to a friend of mine, another window has opened. At the back of my mind, I know that it's not over yet. That there is a possibility that I'll be sad again. But the optimistic me would like to think that I can at least hold on to the happy feeling of the many possibilities that this scenario is bringing with it. The girls and I got into a conversation at Gloria Jeans about how a lot of things happen for a reason. One said that I could have just moved on, after crying about him and accepting the fact that I may have pushed him away. I could've just not gotten the news, I could've believed that it finally is over but in some twist of peculiar fate, I did find out. All I was able to come up with was, "Lord, tama na po ang laro!... please." It's hard but this time, I find it more practical to hold back. To protect myself a bit and not give all that I have so I would still be in the position to move on if things don't go the way I want it to go.
It's a POKER GAME, I won't say pass but I'll win my way by being stonecold. POKER-FACED and strong... at least on the outside.
Letter of Love #4
Hey,
Valentine's Day is over and I surprisingly didn't feel tha bad. I wonder how you spent your day. I have a lot of plans for our first Valentine's Day you know, the plan's to be spontaneous. I have a lot of things in mind, like how I'll surprise you with poems made for you, of how we'll spend it as laidback as possible... perhaps at your or my garden / backyard, talking about how greener the grass looks now that we're together. It may possibly be the first Valentine's day that I won't be drinking because just being with you is more than intoxicating. I want to be able to feel every little natural reaction that my body will do when I'm beside you. Our Valentine's day may even start with us hearing Mass because the feeling of gratitude will overwhelm me, us. I might even cry for the overflow of positive emotions within me. I imagine you to be sweeping the strands of hair away from my face so we can properly look into each other's eyes, with the "teary-eyed, trembling in anticipation of our life together" me, looking forward to a whole new road ahead of us.
Valentine's Day will never be the same again. It will remind us of the countless Valentine's Days that we had to spend apart.
Yesterday, while I was walking alone, I closed my fist just so I can imagine your fingers entwined into mine. It's kind of stupid, I know... but in the same way that I'm human, I have my days of loneliness, some deeper than the others.
I hold on to your own loneliness. JOINT LONELINESS is definitely better than one... I guess. It's ok to be lonely, you just have to remembe that you are being lonely... WITH ME.
Valentine's Day is over and I surprisingly didn't feel tha bad. I wonder how you spent your day. I have a lot of plans for our first Valentine's Day you know, the plan's to be spontaneous. I have a lot of things in mind, like how I'll surprise you with poems made for you, of how we'll spend it as laidback as possible... perhaps at your or my garden / backyard, talking about how greener the grass looks now that we're together. It may possibly be the first Valentine's day that I won't be drinking because just being with you is more than intoxicating. I want to be able to feel every little natural reaction that my body will do when I'm beside you. Our Valentine's day may even start with us hearing Mass because the feeling of gratitude will overwhelm me, us. I might even cry for the overflow of positive emotions within me. I imagine you to be sweeping the strands of hair away from my face so we can properly look into each other's eyes, with the "teary-eyed, trembling in anticipation of our life together" me, looking forward to a whole new road ahead of us.
Valentine's Day will never be the same again. It will remind us of the countless Valentine's Days that we had to spend apart.
Yesterday, while I was walking alone, I closed my fist just so I can imagine your fingers entwined into mine. It's kind of stupid, I know... but in the same way that I'm human, I have my days of loneliness, some deeper than the others.
I hold on to your own loneliness. JOINT LONELINESS is definitely better than one... I guess. It's ok to be lonely, you just have to remembe that you are being lonely... WITH ME.
I'm On a Row... and a Column.
SWEET THANGS!!
Patty: Vic asked me to tell you that he's a fan of your hosting.At sa maraming maraming taong pinaramdam sakin na they appreciate me. Thank you.
Carlo: Happy Valentine's Day! =) Euns, di mo kailangan malungkot, maraming humahanga sa'yo.
Cris: [after we just got introduced last night] You were so funny last night.
RC: Akala ko nanonood ako ng WOwowee e, parang si Janelle e. [im not sure kung good thing ba un o bad thing, pero iisipin ko na lang he meant well]
Ace: Matagal ka na ba nagho-host? Parang sanay na sanay ka na kasi e. Galing.
INTERESTING NIGHT.
with mah guy, fave co-host AJ Constantino
taken at the UP FAIR
Thank you for the news. I think I'm happy again. Not happy expectant. More like happy relieved. Kahit may animosity, nothing can rain on my parade. Sa ngayon.
A Ray of Sunshine on a Supposedly Dark Day
I know I'm not supposed to be happy or anything, but I can't help but smile today. Sometimes, doing the right thing pays off.
Anyways, people are commenting that I've been making them cry because of my entries about love and I don't want to contribute more depression to the world [at least tonight] so let me narrate what I did yesterday, yes, the "Dooms day for singles", "Singles' Awareness Day", "I'm still happy to be alive thought alone" day... It was eventful. I went to Starbucks to study to study for my Civ Pro class the next day and to watch Up Dharma Down at the ROckwell Plaza. Only to find out that they won't be there. So, after a few hours of attempting to study amidst the "depressed, bitter and hostile" environment, we decided to swing it and just talk about whatever. I was there, Patty, Jess, RC, Pau, Tin and Pam made my night. A lot of kwentuhans after, Patty and I decided to go to Joan's place for our "post-valentine's ranting". NOT.
We didn't have plans but since I'm the daughter of spontaneous gimmicks, I texted Seph and asked him if he has beer in his dorm. From that message, we decided to get sort of drunk to end the day right.
Ang magaling na Migrino, walang dalang beer pag-uwi. Ayaw dumaan sa backyard dahil baka may MUMU, kaya tumambay kami sa kalsada whil trying to figure out where the hell we'll buy booze. Seph decided to go to 7eleven, ROCKWELL. Un na. Walking while talking ang drama namin. Nakipag-chikahan sa kahera, nakipag-swap ng WWE Cards at bumili ng hotdog para sa mga dalagita... pati pala dalawang RED HORSE grande na nag-aalangan pa kaming bilin dahil dalawa lang kaming iinom. I entertained him at ang nasabi lang nya sa buong pagsasalita ko, "Di ka ba napapagod? Un paghinga mo nagsasalita ka parin e." Salamat Seph.
Nakarating ng matiwasay sa dorm, mas matagal pa kami naglakad kesa sa pag-ubos ng unang bote namin. BITIN. Dumating si Andre. Nagkakilala na sila FINALLY ni Joan at nabuo ang kanilang PERFECT BACKYARD ROMANCE. [HAR3 .. "inside joke"] Natapos ang inuman ng 3:30 am, nangakong iidlip lang para matulog hanggang 6am. Nagising nng 9am. Kadiri, same clothes, walang toothbrush toothbrush..naglalakad ang lola mo sa Rockwell drive pauwi pa lang.
Un na.
Si Patty nagtulog-tulugan pa kunwari. Kinain tuloy ni Jojo Miggy un hotdog nya. That didn't sound right.
My Valentine's Day was a blast.
Anyways, people are commenting that I've been making them cry because of my entries about love and I don't want to contribute more depression to the world [at least tonight] so let me narrate what I did yesterday, yes, the "Dooms day for singles", "Singles' Awareness Day", "I'm still happy to be alive thought alone" day... It was eventful. I went to Starbucks to study to study for my Civ Pro class the next day and to watch Up Dharma Down at the ROckwell Plaza. Only to find out that they won't be there. So, after a few hours of attempting to study amidst the "depressed, bitter and hostile" environment, we decided to swing it and just talk about whatever. I was there, Patty, Jess, RC, Pau, Tin and Pam made my night. A lot of kwentuhans after, Patty and I decided to go to Joan's place for our "post-valentine's ranting". NOT.
We didn't have plans but since I'm the daughter of spontaneous gimmicks, I texted Seph and asked him if he has beer in his dorm. From that message, we decided to get sort of drunk to end the day right.
Ang magaling na Migrino, walang dalang beer pag-uwi. Ayaw dumaan sa backyard dahil baka may MUMU, kaya tumambay kami sa kalsada whil trying to figure out where the hell we'll buy booze. Seph decided to go to 7eleven, ROCKWELL. Un na. Walking while talking ang drama namin. Nakipag-chikahan sa kahera, nakipag-swap ng WWE Cards at bumili ng hotdog para sa mga dalagita... pati pala dalawang RED HORSE grande na nag-aalangan pa kaming bilin dahil dalawa lang kaming iinom. I entertained him at ang nasabi lang nya sa buong pagsasalita ko, "Di ka ba napapagod? Un paghinga mo nagsasalita ka parin e." Salamat Seph.
Nakarating ng matiwasay sa dorm, mas matagal pa kami naglakad kesa sa pag-ubos ng unang bote namin. BITIN. Dumating si Andre. Nagkakilala na sila FINALLY ni Joan at nabuo ang kanilang PERFECT BACKYARD ROMANCE. [HAR3 .. "inside joke"] Natapos ang inuman ng 3:30 am, nangakong iidlip lang para matulog hanggang 6am. Nagising nng 9am. Kadiri, same clothes, walang toothbrush toothbrush..naglalakad ang lola mo sa Rockwell drive pauwi pa lang.
Taxi Driver: San po tayo?
Euns: Taguig po.
Taxi Driver: Ma'am ang layo naman ng office nyo.
Euns: [natigilan] Kuya, pauwi pa lang po ako e.
Un na.
Si Patty nagtulog-tulugan pa kunwari. Kinain tuloy ni Jojo Miggy un hotdog nya. That didn't sound right.
My Valentine's Day was a blast.
Letter of Love # 3
written February 23, 2005
Hey,
I dunno what you’re doing right now.
You maybe drinking coffee or watchin TV or listenin to the radio like me,
you maybe on the other side of the world, working, or reading a good book, or partying or looking at the bitter emptiness of your wall.
I dunno if we met, I dunno if we at least already caught a glimpse of each other.
I dunno if somehow we have influenced the things that are happening to both of us.
I don’t even know if you exist, I don’t know if you know that I exist.
All I know is that I’m waiting, consciously and unconsciously.
I’ve been anticipating that time when you will finally stop being an invisible entity in my life.
You make me smile, just the thought of you breathing the same air that I breathe,
drinking the water that I drink and staring at the same sky that I’m staring at.
You make me weep, thinking of how far you maybe from me or
of how near you are physically but infinitely far from a possible emotional intimacy.
You make me worry thinking of the bad things that might befall you now,
at this time when I can’t be there,
when I cant give you that reassuring look that things will eventually be ok.
You make me think, and in this process all I can do is give in to my imagination
and find optimism in this feeling of longing.
I’ve been in this journey for years now,
along the way I’ve met people whom I thought was you.
They resemble you, or maybe you resemble them.
I can never be sure,
‘coz you are just something intangible that I’ve been trying to hold on to and keep.
I wont get tired of waiting,
because I know that in that one moment where we will recognize that we belong to each other,
all the grief and the tears will be like diamonds that would make our love glisten.
I’m not looking forward to a perfect life with you,
but I’m looking forward to a bumpy ride with you around.
If finally we meet, don’t look at me in the eyes too long,
I might get lost in the abyss of that magic that we will be entwined with.
Just hug me, and I know I will hug you back.
Don’t kiss me yet, coz your lips might make my lips tremble.
Just smile at me and I will smile back.
Go on with your journey still, we shall meet..
when that time comes we shall be one.
Hey,
I dunno what you’re doing right now.
You maybe drinking coffee or watchin TV or listenin to the radio like me,
you maybe on the other side of the world, working, or reading a good book, or partying or looking at the bitter emptiness of your wall.
I dunno if we met, I dunno if we at least already caught a glimpse of each other.
I dunno if somehow we have influenced the things that are happening to both of us.
I don’t even know if you exist, I don’t know if you know that I exist.
All I know is that I’m waiting, consciously and unconsciously.
I’ve been anticipating that time when you will finally stop being an invisible entity in my life.
You make me smile, just the thought of you breathing the same air that I breathe,
drinking the water that I drink and staring at the same sky that I’m staring at.
You make me weep, thinking of how far you maybe from me or
of how near you are physically but infinitely far from a possible emotional intimacy.
You make me worry thinking of the bad things that might befall you now,
at this time when I can’t be there,
when I cant give you that reassuring look that things will eventually be ok.
You make me think, and in this process all I can do is give in to my imagination
and find optimism in this feeling of longing.
I’ve been in this journey for years now,
along the way I’ve met people whom I thought was you.
They resemble you, or maybe you resemble them.
I can never be sure,
‘coz you are just something intangible that I’ve been trying to hold on to and keep.
I wont get tired of waiting,
because I know that in that one moment where we will recognize that we belong to each other,
all the grief and the tears will be like diamonds that would make our love glisten.
I’m not looking forward to a perfect life with you,
but I’m looking forward to a bumpy ride with you around.
If finally we meet, don’t look at me in the eyes too long,
I might get lost in the abyss of that magic that we will be entwined with.
Just hug me, and I know I will hug you back.
Don’t kiss me yet, coz your lips might make my lips tremble.
Just smile at me and I will smile back.
Go on with your journey still, we shall meet..
when that time comes we shall be one.
Letter of Love #2
To you who are bound to come,
You are a catch. I just need to assure you because I'm positive that if you are here, you'll look into my eyes and say the exact same thing. Tomorrow's Valentine's Day and I will still go out and celebrate the love that is YET to connect us. I'm guessing you have plans too, with or without a woman, I imagine you to be someone who refuses to let Valentine's depress you. Unlike me. Sometimes, I find myself staring blankly at whatever's in front of me, imagining the feeling of how heavenly it will be to have you beside me. Sometimes, I imagine you emerging from my hazy view of a crowd, smiling at me and staring back. You maybe tall or short, attention-grabbing or not, but I have no doubt that I will recognize you. It will be as if we've known each other for a long time. It will not be love at first sight but more of an "I want to get to know you more" at first sight moment. We may become close friends, coffee buddies perhaps, talking for what will seem like a short time to us when in fact it has been hours. You'll let me into your life and I will let you into my own gloomy world.
I know you have your imperfections, but I will accept them almost automatically...I will fall in love with the imperfect you. Perhaps you'll love me for my smile, fall for my humor or my habit of letting my brows meet as if I'm in deep thinking when in reality, my mind is blank. Maybe you'll like the unrefined me, the perky me or the drama queen in me.
Tomorrow's Valentine's day, though we are not celebrating together, in my heart I feel that we indeed are celebrating. I can't wait to spend my first Valentine's with you. I can't wait for the time when I'm not looking forward to sleeping anymore because I refuse to miss the thought and reality that I HAVE YOU every second that I am awake. Maybe I'll even wish to dream of you and build a world of fantasy where we will never part.
I will love you, not unconditionally but imperfectly. We'll create a customized love that fits our already rigged, jagged and beaten hearts.
Happy Valentine's Day in advance. I am smiling knowing that someday I'll give these letters to you.
---------
written in the afternoon of February 13, 2007
You are a catch. I just need to assure you because I'm positive that if you are here, you'll look into my eyes and say the exact same thing. Tomorrow's Valentine's Day and I will still go out and celebrate the love that is YET to connect us. I'm guessing you have plans too, with or without a woman, I imagine you to be someone who refuses to let Valentine's depress you. Unlike me. Sometimes, I find myself staring blankly at whatever's in front of me, imagining the feeling of how heavenly it will be to have you beside me. Sometimes, I imagine you emerging from my hazy view of a crowd, smiling at me and staring back. You maybe tall or short, attention-grabbing or not, but I have no doubt that I will recognize you. It will be as if we've known each other for a long time. It will not be love at first sight but more of an "I want to get to know you more" at first sight moment. We may become close friends, coffee buddies perhaps, talking for what will seem like a short time to us when in fact it has been hours. You'll let me into your life and I will let you into my own gloomy world.
I know you have your imperfections, but I will accept them almost automatically...I will fall in love with the imperfect you. Perhaps you'll love me for my smile, fall for my humor or my habit of letting my brows meet as if I'm in deep thinking when in reality, my mind is blank. Maybe you'll like the unrefined me, the perky me or the drama queen in me.
Tomorrow's Valentine's day, though we are not celebrating together, in my heart I feel that we indeed are celebrating. I can't wait to spend my first Valentine's with you. I can't wait for the time when I'm not looking forward to sleeping anymore because I refuse to miss the thought and reality that I HAVE YOU every second that I am awake. Maybe I'll even wish to dream of you and build a world of fantasy where we will never part.
I will love you, not unconditionally but imperfectly. We'll create a customized love that fits our already rigged, jagged and beaten hearts.
Happy Valentine's Day in advance. I am smiling knowing that someday I'll give these letters to you.
---------
written in the afternoon of February 13, 2007
FLEXIBLE PALA HA!
Dear Eunice Zuleika,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Wednesday, February 14:
Your mind and heart are extra open and extra flexible, making this an excellent time to explore your romantic ideals -- not to mention your options. Aren't you a lovely target for Cupid's arrows now!
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Wednesday, February 14:
Your mind and heart are extra open and extra flexible, making this an excellent time to explore your romantic ideals -- not to mention your options. Aren't you a lovely target for Cupid's arrows now!
On Starting Valentine's Day with a BANG!
LITERALLY.
We had a car accident. In fact, we almost died. If the truck driver didn't step on his brake, I wouldn't be here writing this entry. Too bad, the other car didn't see us coming. So we were "bound" to collide. Just when I removed my seatbelt because I was a few steps away from my corner. I just hope it's not a sign of the other bad things that might come today. I'm still thankful that we all didnt get hurt. Physicall, that is. Emotionally? That's a different story.
On a more positive note, we went to the UP Fair last night and had a blast. It was nice to go back and reminisce, and be a UP student again, even for just another night. It was nice to sit on the grass, listen to "UP Music" and chill. It was nice. I even took a part of the UP Fair with me by getting a henna tattoo. Feeling "astig" and "beach babe". It was a great way to start our Valentine's Day.. especially because Tuesday Vargas made our night.
We were laughing our asses off because of her. And of course, SUGARFREE, as always, made my night.
I'm looking forward to today. Despite what happened. I am optimistic still.
We had a car accident. In fact, we almost died. If the truck driver didn't step on his brake, I wouldn't be here writing this entry. Too bad, the other car didn't see us coming. So we were "bound" to collide. Just when I removed my seatbelt because I was a few steps away from my corner. I just hope it's not a sign of the other bad things that might come today. I'm still thankful that we all didnt get hurt. Physicall, that is. Emotionally? That's a different story.
On a more positive note, we went to the UP Fair last night and had a blast. It was nice to go back and reminisce, and be a UP student again, even for just another night. It was nice to sit on the grass, listen to "UP Music" and chill. It was nice. I even took a part of the UP Fair with me by getting a henna tattoo. Feeling "astig" and "beach babe". It was a great way to start our Valentine's Day.. especially because Tuesday Vargas made our night.
Tuesday: Sino dito may mga love? Taas ang kamay. [taas kamay ng mga tao] PAKYU OL!!!
Taas ang kamay ng mga virgin!!!! [taas kamay] PAKYU kayo!
Para ito sa mga may relasyon, man to woman, man to man, woman to woman,
BICURIOUS to BICURIOUS!
We were laughing our asses off because of her. And of course, SUGARFREE, as always, made my night.
I'm looking forward to today. Despite what happened. I am optimistic still.
I Don't HATE Valentine's Day
... for a change, since most of the articles I read are into Valentine's day-bashing. Let me start off by saying that although I see the logic in branding Valentine's as overrated, Valentine's IS licensed to be overrated. It's about LOVE for crying out loud. LOVE is the most overrated thing in the whole world, and an event that celebrates it would not be appropriate if it's not overrated.
Now, why DON'T I hate Valentine's even if my life has been a string of unsuccessful relationships, almost love stories and fart-inducing date mishaps? Because Valentine's Day gives me enough reason to celebrate something that I know I will eventually find in the future. It's like a glimpse of a wonderful thing that's bound to happen. Sabi ko nga before, "If love works for other people, there's no reason why it wouldn't work for me." No matter how long it might take.
Yes, sometimes I wanna puke when I see red dresses, roses and everything that's related to it, but it also makes me smile, it makes me feel that we still have that "humanity" within us. I read somewhere that "The world is now a place that's full of things that are against being romantic but the only thing that's stopping the world are the PEOPLE who refuse to be too cynical for their own good." I am a romantic cynic. I maintain my level-headedness without shedding every little ounce of romance in me.
I may not have a date tomorrow, but I am surrounded by a lot of good things. The simplest of things that prove the truth in the existence of this overratedness. Everybody's alone, it's just easier to take in a relationship. We celebrate our being alone with other people and you find a connection. You find a strand of hope that the world can't be a place of sheer loneliness. That loneliness exists because it has to emphasize the existence of togetherness...
I am not a fan of grandiosity, of demonstrations of love in an overrated kind of way because I treasure the littlest of things. I value being held on to, looked at, smiled at, being hugged, comforted, listened to, offered a ride home, offered a cup of coffee, joked at, flattered.. I value drinking sprees with special people, studying with them, walking around, driving around, beating around the bush, being introduced to new friends and even merely listening to a sweet song while knowing that somebody is there with me, for me.
I know that behind the superficiality that celebrating Valentine's day exudes, behind its overratedness and drama is the basic and most important thing... LOVE. Valentine's Day is a celebration of what was here, what is here, what would be here and what it feels like to love and be loved. That is enough reason to not hate it and to even go the extra mile of celebrating it.
Now, why DON'T I hate Valentine's even if my life has been a string of unsuccessful relationships, almost love stories and fart-inducing date mishaps? Because Valentine's Day gives me enough reason to celebrate something that I know I will eventually find in the future. It's like a glimpse of a wonderful thing that's bound to happen. Sabi ko nga before, "If love works for other people, there's no reason why it wouldn't work for me." No matter how long it might take.
Yes, sometimes I wanna puke when I see red dresses, roses and everything that's related to it, but it also makes me smile, it makes me feel that we still have that "humanity" within us. I read somewhere that "The world is now a place that's full of things that are against being romantic but the only thing that's stopping the world are the PEOPLE who refuse to be too cynical for their own good." I am a romantic cynic. I maintain my level-headedness without shedding every little ounce of romance in me.
I may not have a date tomorrow, but I am surrounded by a lot of good things. The simplest of things that prove the truth in the existence of this overratedness. Everybody's alone, it's just easier to take in a relationship. We celebrate our being alone with other people and you find a connection. You find a strand of hope that the world can't be a place of sheer loneliness. That loneliness exists because it has to emphasize the existence of togetherness...
I am not a fan of grandiosity, of demonstrations of love in an overrated kind of way because I treasure the littlest of things. I value being held on to, looked at, smiled at, being hugged, comforted, listened to, offered a ride home, offered a cup of coffee, joked at, flattered.. I value drinking sprees with special people, studying with them, walking around, driving around, beating around the bush, being introduced to new friends and even merely listening to a sweet song while knowing that somebody is there with me, for me.
I know that behind the superficiality that celebrating Valentine's day exudes, behind its overratedness and drama is the basic and most important thing... LOVE. Valentine's Day is a celebration of what was here, what is here, what would be here and what it feels like to love and be loved. That is enough reason to not hate it and to even go the extra mile of celebrating it.
A Li'l Yihee on the side.
Au: Euns, may dala ka bang laptop today?
Euns: Wala.
Au: Hala. Kanina may nakita akong guy, un laptop nya WALLPAPER un PICTURES
mo.
Euns: Ha? Baka naman nagbabasa lang ng blog ko.
Au: Di e, iba ibang pictures mo pa nga. Sigurado akong WALLPAPER
talaga.
Un na. Somebody likes me. At least. I'm worth liking. Haha.
Thank You
... to everyone who has been supportive, patient and understanding of the "moody" me.
Thanks for saying that you guys enjoy my company, and that I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, and that I'm good in what I do and that I'm a catch...
Thank you for making me feel special amidst this SELF ESTEEM CRISIS that I'm having.
Thank you guys for all the hugs, for the tissue. For merely asking if I'm ok while I'm crying, inside the caf. [Drama queen] For just being there. For giving me the looks of sympathy and love while I'm there sulking with a stick of cig in my hand.
Thank you.
I'm close to falling apart, but you guys are stopping me from quitting.
Thanks for saying that you guys enjoy my company, and that I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, and that I'm good in what I do and that I'm a catch...
Thank you for making me feel special amidst this SELF ESTEEM CRISIS that I'm having.
Girlfriend 1: Bakit? Iniisip mo siguro na mas deserving un isang
girl kasi mas payat sya sayo? Iniisip mo un diba? Mali ka e. You deserve to
be happy. He deserves to be happy too. You look happy when you're with him. He
looks happy too. Di na uso ang martir. You don't want to look back years from
now thinking, "Why did I push him away?"
Girlfriend 2: If I were in your position. I would've said the same thing.
You did the right thing. But most of the time, the right thing sucks.
Thank you guys for all the hugs, for the tissue. For merely asking if I'm ok while I'm crying, inside the caf. [Drama queen] For just being there. For giving me the looks of sympathy and love while I'm there sulking with a stick of cig in my hand.
Thank you.
I'm close to falling apart, but you guys are stopping me from quitting.
Nothing...
... all of a sudden, there's really nothing to hold on to.
I don't know what to think of anymore. My mind is consciously blocking my thoughts of you, reminding me that I can only bear a certain amount of pain... and if I don't stop, I might lose what's left of my sanity. I made a noble decision that turned out to be silently heartwrenching, bittersweet and at some point, regret-inducing. I think I am in love with you, it took this much pain for me to finally admit that. What we have is an emotional connection that is forbidden and wounded. Until I'm too dry to shed even a single tear, I will write about you. What we had, or maybe still have is more than romantic. I don't know if you see or even feel that. It's beyond philosophy, it's a connection that could've been worthwhile. It is more than enough to make me believe that someday, I'll find you again. When we're finished chasing our old rainbows and ready to chase new ones.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, there's NOTHING left for me to hold on to. All I have is pain.
Maybe we're lucky to have somebody who has that little bit of insanity. Somebody who never lets you go, somebody who cherishes you forever. Talk about a legacy, loving someone forever? That is a legacy.
- John Cage, Ally Mc Beal
I don't know what to think of anymore. My mind is consciously blocking my thoughts of you, reminding me that I can only bear a certain amount of pain... and if I don't stop, I might lose what's left of my sanity. I made a noble decision that turned out to be silently heartwrenching, bittersweet and at some point, regret-inducing. I think I am in love with you, it took this much pain for me to finally admit that. What we have is an emotional connection that is forbidden and wounded. Until I'm too dry to shed even a single tear, I will write about you. What we had, or maybe still have is more than romantic. I don't know if you see or even feel that. It's beyond philosophy, it's a connection that could've been worthwhile. It is more than enough to make me believe that someday, I'll find you again. When we're finished chasing our old rainbows and ready to chase new ones.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, there's NOTHING left for me to hold on to. All I have is pain.
Letter of Love #1
To you who hasn't come,
I'm not gonna assume that you already exist, for all I know, you're not born yet. Just like me, you may be feeling that you have not yet gone out of the lonely fetus embracing you. You're swimming, letting life pass you by, letting it flow on your veins. I'll start of by saying that YOU NEED TO KNOW ME. Let me introduce myself, I'm Eunice, an emotionally fucked up, too optimistic for my own good and a believer of the impossible.
It's sad that I can't be there for you yet, I guess I have to be really prepared before God'll let you knock me off my feet. I am not worried that we shall meet. Sometimes it just worries me that you need me now but I can't be there for you. You really need not worry about me, I look forward to not only holding your hand but to capture what is in your soul that'll eventually breathe life into me. I can't imagine what you might be doing at present, or tonight, or tomorrow... but if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's the fact that SOMEHOW YOU ARE THINKING OF ME TOO. Not in a tangible kind of way. In the same way that I think of you too, in a sense that we are connected, that the mere blinking of my eyes affects how you tilt your head and smile.
I don't wish you a good night, but I wish that you go to bed not as lonely as me. I did say I'm emotionally fucked up right? Yet, I'm holding on to the idea that I HAVE YOU, will have you... and it turns this insanity into something so much better.
Everyday is an opportunity for me to be a better person. I do not live for you yet, but someday I will. And when we meet somewhere, somehow, we will know that we're finally together. Not to complete each other but to complement what we have become so far.
That is enough reason for me to celebrate Valentine's. To celebrate the you that will celebrate it with me...
----------------------
this is inspired by an article asking why we don't write love letters anymore. From now on, I'll hold on to the thought so loneliness won't eat away what I have to offer. So that my eyes will not have looks of "i'll end up lonely someday" but only of, "I have someone, though we have not yet met."
I'm not gonna assume that you already exist, for all I know, you're not born yet. Just like me, you may be feeling that you have not yet gone out of the lonely fetus embracing you. You're swimming, letting life pass you by, letting it flow on your veins. I'll start of by saying that YOU NEED TO KNOW ME. Let me introduce myself, I'm Eunice, an emotionally fucked up, too optimistic for my own good and a believer of the impossible.
It's sad that I can't be there for you yet, I guess I have to be really prepared before God'll let you knock me off my feet. I am not worried that we shall meet. Sometimes it just worries me that you need me now but I can't be there for you. You really need not worry about me, I look forward to not only holding your hand but to capture what is in your soul that'll eventually breathe life into me. I can't imagine what you might be doing at present, or tonight, or tomorrow... but if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's the fact that SOMEHOW YOU ARE THINKING OF ME TOO. Not in a tangible kind of way. In the same way that I think of you too, in a sense that we are connected, that the mere blinking of my eyes affects how you tilt your head and smile.
I don't wish you a good night, but I wish that you go to bed not as lonely as me. I did say I'm emotionally fucked up right? Yet, I'm holding on to the idea that I HAVE YOU, will have you... and it turns this insanity into something so much better.
Everyday is an opportunity for me to be a better person. I do not live for you yet, but someday I will. And when we meet somewhere, somehow, we will know that we're finally together. Not to complete each other but to complement what we have become so far.
That is enough reason for me to celebrate Valentine's. To celebrate the you that will celebrate it with me...
----------------------
this is inspired by an article asking why we don't write love letters anymore. From now on, I'll hold on to the thought so loneliness won't eat away what I have to offer. So that my eyes will not have looks of "i'll end up lonely someday" but only of, "I have someone, though we have not yet met."
How APPROPRIATE
MY TAROT CARD FOR TODAY
The Ten of Wands card suggests that my power today lies in conscience. "He ain't heavy, he's my brother." I own responsibility for the baggage I have chosen to carry but I am ready to lay the weight of a burden or secret I have been hiding behind where it belongs in order to reconcile my conscience. Do I want to be right or alone? I am empowered by blind faith in fulfilling my purpose or greater good to "just do it," and I transform through in passion or direction in principle.
When It Sucks, It Sucks.
I won Peter Pan tickets pala. I checked my other mail today, it was for January 14. It's the reason for my superficial sadness. I missed an opportunity of a lifetime. I could've been there enjoying my fairytale. But I lost that chance. What a metaphor.
My other sadness is waaaay deeper. I cannot begin to describe the pain that I'm feeling. The hardest thing to do is to do the right thing. Or in my case, to be proper. To put myself in a proper perspective. I'm not selfless. I'm not a martyr. The pain is more real now than before. It's a stabbing spree. It's like i sold a lot of knives to be stabbed over and over again. It's the kind of pain that not only paralyzes you and stops but it goes into your soul, mind and it is felt even when you're asleep.
I did the right thing. But why does it feel like karma came back to me ten-fold and lost track of my good deeds?
My other sadness is waaaay deeper. I cannot begin to describe the pain that I'm feeling. The hardest thing to do is to do the right thing. Or in my case, to be proper. To put myself in a proper perspective. I'm not selfless. I'm not a martyr. The pain is more real now than before. It's a stabbing spree. It's like i sold a lot of knives to be stabbed over and over again. It's the kind of pain that not only paralyzes you and stops but it goes into your soul, mind and it is felt even when you're asleep.
I did the right thing. But why does it feel like karma came back to me ten-fold and lost track of my good deeds?
Post - Mr. Law School 2007 Entry
Girl Friend:
My stomach ached last night because of you. It's the most fun Mr. Law School i've been to.
My stomach ached last night because of you. It's the most fun Mr. Law School i've been to.
Aww. People have been approaching me just to tell me that they laughed their asses off last night because of me and AJ... that they had so much fun... that we have great rapport... that we were great hosts. These little demonstrations of appreciation make me fly. More than enough, more than enough. Thanks guys.
I had fun too. It was a great event. Even THE Rene SALUD said he liked me. Starstruck ako sobra. The candidates were great, the organizers were all accommodating and the crowd... Loooove it. I got a kiss and a hug from a really hot guy. The former Mr. Law School used his "digest" pickup line on me. I literally felt like a princess. Ang saya.
I had so much fun that I hope I get invited to host again next year. Ehem. If I still am here. Haha.
Btw, I officially have a boyfriend. MJ Bayang. It's an open relationship but we're sort of "together" now. Don't forget my flowers on Valentine's sweetie. Ralph Calinisan said we didn't have closure, pero sabi ko nga, he's an Ex now.. he shouldn't try to confuse me. I'm happy with MJ. He makes me feel kilig during Crim class. *winks... Kasi naman my absentee boyfriend Paopao Soriano is, as always, absent.
Gotta run to Starbucks so I could "attempt" to study.
A Little Slack?
Dear Eunice Zuleika,
Here is your horoscope
for Saturday, February 10:
Cut someone in your life a little slack. Heck, start with yourself. Being open to possibility means allowing room for mistakes. You'll find that life gets so much more fun and exciting when you do.
Here is your horoscope
for Saturday, February 10:
Cut someone in your life a little slack. Heck, start with yourself. Being open to possibility means allowing room for mistakes. You'll find that life gets so much more fun and exciting when you do.
Tumpak!
| ||
| | ||
Fleeting
I guess it was a mere glimpse of fleeting hope re: what could be in the very far future. It's so me, falling for a string of happy moments not minding its blatant temporariness. I am letting TINKERBELL go FOR NOW not because I don't feel anything for him anymore but because the PRESENT is obviously NOT THE RIGHT TIME. It's a sad reality that I have to face. In the same way that I have to let go of feeling compelled to hear from him, or to interact with him because I feel a sense of security knowing that he's around. My life is OK, it's stable and it's supposed to inspire me to be the best that I can be.
It must be really because of Valentine's that my hormones are making me feel inadequate and insecure again. He's bad for me without him knowing it. He is not at fault because for all we know, he's just being a good friend still. Never mind the extra affection that my friends see him give me, which I refuse to recognize. Never mind the sweet little details that made me secretly smile and endear him to me. Never mind my wanting to skip when I walk with him. Never mind the way I transform into a silly kid when he attempts to be cute or funny. I'LL LET HIM BE. In the meantime, I have to teach myself to be contented again, independent and complete without that little significant piece of the puzzle that is him.
I should really snap out of it. If he knows that I've been in sweet misery because of him, I'm quite sure he'll leave. I CAN'T SURVIVE THAT. I can't stand the idea of losing him just because I pushed it.
I'm letting him go... for now. Ask me again tomorrow, I might've changed my mind by then. After all, "FLEETING" is the word of my life.
It must be really because of Valentine's that my hormones are making me feel inadequate and insecure again. He's bad for me without him knowing it. He is not at fault because for all we know, he's just being a good friend still. Never mind the extra affection that my friends see him give me, which I refuse to recognize. Never mind the sweet little details that made me secretly smile and endear him to me. Never mind my wanting to skip when I walk with him. Never mind the way I transform into a silly kid when he attempts to be cute or funny. I'LL LET HIM BE. In the meantime, I have to teach myself to be contented again, independent and complete without that little significant piece of the puzzle that is him.
I should really snap out of it. If he knows that I've been in sweet misery because of him, I'm quite sure he'll leave. I CAN'T SURVIVE THAT. I can't stand the idea of losing him just because I pushed it.
I'm letting him go... for now. Ask me again tomorrow, I might've changed my mind by then. After all, "FLEETING" is the word of my life.
VICE
My tears refuse to fall because they only fall when i'm with you...
My eyes, all watery and red, wander around looking for what is not there...
Coffee is not as bitter as the taste of your name on my lips...
Alcohol numbs me but not my inner pain...
Even a pack of cigarette won't take away the tremble in my hands....
YOU are my greatest VICE. Please don't put me on withdrawal.
My eyes, all watery and red, wander around looking for what is not there...
Coffee is not as bitter as the taste of your name on my lips...
Alcohol numbs me but not my inner pain...
Even a pack of cigarette won't take away the tremble in my hands....
YOU are my greatest VICE. Please don't put me on withdrawal.
ME Time
I need my ME time because truth be told, I'm pissed that my bad day is conquering my usually strong and bubbly personality. I feel like I woke up this morning destined to feel bad and to feel like this whole day'll be a total mess. I don't want to be the one who'll ruin other people's moods so I had to flee and hibernate in my pseudo-sanctuary. NO INTERACTIONS, NO PRESSURE TO BE CHEERFUL and NO COMPULSION TO EXPLAIN WHY I'M NOT IN MY NORMAL AURA. It's totally a day of crankiness that's triggered by the littlest of things. A lot of people are bound to celebrate and as for me, I'm playing the role of a killjoy old woman. I don't like this feeling but there really is nothing left to do but succumb to it. I'm hoping that by writing this down, I could at least cool down or prepare myself for the dry run at 9pm. No tension, no stress, no negative vibes. I pray that something happens to cheer me up. FAST.
I hate it that my lack of sense of responsibility is bringing me to misery. My day is continuing to suck.
----------
(written at Starbucks while sipping my grande Pink Guava in solitude)
I hate it that my lack of sense of responsibility is bringing me to misery. My day is continuing to suck.
----------
(written at Starbucks while sipping my grande Pink Guava in solitude)
LOST BOY
Kaya pala nanjan ka.. sabi sa Horoscope ko:
A new person in your life is intensifying efforts to communicate with you. Give yourself time to sort through how you feel about this, because you might not know how to react at first. This person is still a bit of a mystery to you, and you might not be quite sure what to think. Is it all some sort of joke? In a very odd way, this confusion will be refreshing and exciting to you. Instead of frustrating you, this person is putting you in touch with a new part of yourself.Thanks dude.
FOR PICTURES AND MEMORIES
visit my multiply site, just because it's easier to upload images there...
PUNTA NA!
Erratum: Nakakainis na wala man lang nag-correct sa aking title na MELODIE HAVE FINALLY FALLEN. Grammatically incorrect po.. HAS FINALLY FALLEN DAPAT! Lech. Subject-verb agreement di ko pa magawa ng tama. hehe.
PUNTA NA!
Erratum: Nakakainis na wala man lang nag-correct sa aking title na MELODIE HAVE FINALLY FALLEN. Grammatically incorrect po.. HAS FINALLY FALLEN DAPAT! Lech. Subject-verb agreement di ko pa magawa ng tama. hehe.
A String of Inuman Sessions and Dramas Along the Way
Four straight days of drinking [and driving, in Ces' case] after and we've got gazillions of picture to prove that we KNOW HOW TO COMPENSATE for our heart-wrenching MIDTERMS. It started off at Good Earth right after our last exam, Legal Ethics. It was a spontaneous and full of laglagan drinking spree. Stayed 'til 2am and was supposed to stay if the "good girl" in me didn't kick the "bad girl" in me in the ass. Just when Lew ordered a new bucket of beer, I had to leave the temptation and kissed everyone goodbye.
Next day was another spur of the moment thing at Good Earth. After studying for class we decided to succumbed to the call of Alcoholism and talked about deep churva conversations with Patring. I ALMOST LOST IT. Oh well.
Friday was Papuz's day and we partied 'til morning at Capone's. This was where we got to grill Patty for his now not-so-secret affair with that guy whom I now call Ryan Agoncillo. Dennis and I make a good tag team. *winks ... Plus, Wendy now has BESO RIGHTS with Peter Pan [grins]
Saturday, I hosted the Conflicts of Law Send Off and then went straight to Gweilo's to attend Utopia's Post Midterms Party. It was a new crowd and a breath of fresh air. Plus, it didn't hurt that the booze was overflowing and that Raffy volunteered to buy flowers for us. Woohoo.
Now, I am blogging despite my SUCKY MIDTERMS in Corp and my SUCKY Recit in CORP and my cutting class for Civ Pro and the fact that there remains only EIGHT FREAGGIN' DAYS before YOU-KNOW-WHAT. Ehem. Ask me again please.
Looking forward to the promised ream of DunHill Flow from Carlo "the doctor" just because I look like his bestfriend and he loves that girl and he bummed a stick of YOSI from me.
Where's the drama one might ask. Long Story. It's in Neverland.
Side Kwento: I have a new addition to the characters in my Neverland Story. He shall now be called Lost Boy just because according to him, he still hasn't prepared his "game plan". Gawd.
That's three prospects and zero valentine's invitation. Which brings me to our BACK-UP Plan of hosting a Starbucks Soiree at Janina's place. Good enough. I don't need churva if they don't need me. I am a bitch and I can be happy without 'em. [Applause]
Next day was another spur of the moment thing at Good Earth. After studying for class we decided to succumbed to the call of Alcoholism and talked about deep churva conversations with Patring. I ALMOST LOST IT. Oh well.
Friday was Papuz's day and we partied 'til morning at Capone's. This was where we got to grill Patty for his now not-so-secret affair with that guy whom I now call Ryan Agoncillo. Dennis and I make a good tag team. *winks ... Plus, Wendy now has BESO RIGHTS with Peter Pan [grins]
Saturday, I hosted the Conflicts of Law Send Off and then went straight to Gweilo's to attend Utopia's Post Midterms Party. It was a new crowd and a breath of fresh air. Plus, it didn't hurt that the booze was overflowing and that Raffy volunteered to buy flowers for us. Woohoo.
Now, I am blogging despite my SUCKY MIDTERMS in Corp and my SUCKY Recit in CORP and my cutting class for Civ Pro and the fact that there remains only EIGHT FREAGGIN' DAYS before YOU-KNOW-WHAT. Ehem. Ask me again please.
Looking forward to the promised ream of DunHill Flow from Carlo "the doctor" just because I look like his bestfriend and he loves that girl and he bummed a stick of YOSI from me.
Where's the drama one might ask. Long Story. It's in Neverland.
Side Kwento: I have a new addition to the characters in my Neverland Story. He shall now be called Lost Boy just because according to him, he still hasn't prepared his "game plan". Gawd.
That's three prospects and zero valentine's invitation. Which brings me to our BACK-UP Plan of hosting a Starbucks Soiree at Janina's place. Good enough. I don't need churva if they don't need me. I am a bitch and I can be happy without 'em. [Applause]
Torn
I'd like to think that I'm confused right now, that I'm torn between staying and moving on to a new adventure. I think I'm better off torn than decided because when I have decided, it will mean that there's no turning back. It will mean that no matter what my fate will be, I will be stuck and I will have to stand by it, no matter how painful, emotionally taxing and unruly it will get. That I can handle... losing everything that we used to have, I can't.
I'm here again, that LIMBO that I try not to get caught into. The PURGATORY between heaven and hell. I see previews of both worlds each day that I refuse to make a decision. I'm afraid that my judgment and that of my friends are clouded. I want it to be a happy ending, and my friends want me to get the ending that I want... but what if for him, everyday's just the same. What if today for him is the same as yesterday?
There's a thin line between illusion and reality. I am building a wall so I could cushion my collision. He sometimes makes me happy, he most of the time disorients me... but every single time, I get closer and closer to wanting him, to holding his hand and to have him put his arm around me.
I cannot afford to lack focus again, but I cannot afford to lack his existence either. Where do I stand?
I'm here again, that LIMBO that I try not to get caught into. The PURGATORY between heaven and hell. I see previews of both worlds each day that I refuse to make a decision. I'm afraid that my judgment and that of my friends are clouded. I want it to be a happy ending, and my friends want me to get the ending that I want... but what if for him, everyday's just the same. What if today for him is the same as yesterday?
There's a thin line between illusion and reality. I am building a wall so I could cushion my collision. He sometimes makes me happy, he most of the time disorients me... but every single time, I get closer and closer to wanting him, to holding his hand and to have him put his arm around me.
I cannot afford to lack focus again, but I cannot afford to lack his existence either. Where do I stand?
Watch Me
I look at him because you don't want me to look at you.
I don't know what you want, and what I want doesn't matter.
The good cancels the bad but the bad cheats its way to winning.
When you lean towards me, I find myself leaning back, like instinct.
It is beyond instinct, it is beyond logic, but there's nothing beyond it.
I steal glances so I can picture you while I'm looking away.
You never catch me staring because I don't have to.
I have your face stamped on everything around me, on leaves, on smoke, on infinity.
I value your silence because it is when I feel that you're really with me.
It is when you're here that I feel you're at the greatest distance.
I look at him because you don't want me to look at you.
It's enough that you're watching when I turn around.
I don't know what you want, and what I want doesn't matter.
The good cancels the bad but the bad cheats its way to winning.
When you lean towards me, I find myself leaning back, like instinct.
It is beyond instinct, it is beyond logic, but there's nothing beyond it.
I steal glances so I can picture you while I'm looking away.
You never catch me staring because I don't have to.
I have your face stamped on everything around me, on leaves, on smoke, on infinity.
I value your silence because it is when I feel that you're really with me.
It is when you're here that I feel you're at the greatest distance.
I look at him because you don't want me to look at you.
It's enough that you're watching when I turn around.
Melodie has finally fallen...
...LITERALLY.
I swear, I felt like I was choking because of how funny the whole situation was. Anyone who's a regular at Starbucks near Ateneo Law knows that there is a "dangerous" part outside. That part where your chair's feet may get stuck causing your COMMUNING WITH NATURE [borrowed from Rach].
How did it exactly happen? We were sort of having querida conversations, singing along to some emo music when we suddenly realized that Mel disappeared. No startling sound, no fair warning... she was there, lying on what used to be a beautifully-landscaped spot. A garden's worst nightmare, quoting Ces. We were so shocked that we didnt react for at least 5 seconds. We looked and froze until Rach asked Mel, "Oh my God, are you ok?" Mel said, "No!!! I can't move!" Then, we got out of our temporary coma and adrenaline paved its way to our veins. We ran towards her and tried to help her get up. What made the situation worse was the fact that all of us were dying of laughter, of humiliation and of disbelief.
We laughed for at least 2 hours after the incident and continued to be distracted everytime we get reminded of what transpired. Everyone in Starbucks knew of the incident, even the baristas who were on duty. That spot will forever be the spot who made MEL COMMUNE WITH NATURE.
Now, everytime anyone tries to sit on that spot, we warn them of the risk that they're taking for choosing to be there.
Laughtrip.
I swear, I felt like I was choking because of how funny the whole situation was. Anyone who's a regular at Starbucks near Ateneo Law knows that there is a "dangerous" part outside. That part where your chair's feet may get stuck causing your COMMUNING WITH NATURE [borrowed from Rach].
How did it exactly happen? We were sort of having querida conversations, singing along to some emo music when we suddenly realized that Mel disappeared. No startling sound, no fair warning... she was there, lying on what used to be a beautifully-landscaped spot. A garden's worst nightmare, quoting Ces. We were so shocked that we didnt react for at least 5 seconds. We looked and froze until Rach asked Mel, "Oh my God, are you ok?" Mel said, "No!!! I can't move!" Then, we got out of our temporary coma and adrenaline paved its way to our veins. We ran towards her and tried to help her get up. What made the situation worse was the fact that all of us were dying of laughter, of humiliation and of disbelief.
We laughed for at least 2 hours after the incident and continued to be distracted everytime we get reminded of what transpired. Everyone in Starbucks knew of the incident, even the baristas who were on duty. That spot will forever be the spot who made MEL COMMUNE WITH NATURE.
Now, everytime anyone tries to sit on that spot, we warn them of the risk that they're taking for choosing to be there.
Laughtrip.
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