It's All Coming Back.

I cannot find it in my heart to leave my room. The last time i felt this way was that fateful day of my Math17 grade release. I'm freaggin' scared and as much as I would want to be the "Ever Optimist" that I am, I can't. If i fail now, I dunno what I would do. It's not really the idea of failing that's scaring me to death, it's the idea of disappointing the people who believe in me. My parents have been excessively supportive and I dont want them to think that I dont appreciate everything that they have given me. They've been very understanding and if there's anyone in this world that I will dedicate what little i have accomplished in my life, it will definitely be them.

They do not deserve to hear from me that I couldnt make it to next sem. They do not deserve to hear from me that I failed. They do not deserve to hear anything that is synonymous to being not good enough. I think they have sacrificed more than enough that they only deserve to hear how their hardwork paved off.

If I could just protect them from disappointment, frustration and grief.... I would. Please Lord, help me protect them. You have blessed me all my life, I'm just scared that this is the part where You will test my faith in You. I know I'm unworthy but please hold my hand, i feel so vulnerable.

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