Barren

I feel so scared. It’s like I’m falling apart just thinking of what the future has in store for me. I don’t know if I can keep up with the depression that I have to go through. Every minute, I see more reasons why I should start hating myself. I don’t really know what I have to offer. It’s like I’m deteriorating into this good-for-nothing little girl who isn’t accomplishing much in her world of make believe.

I’m just not used to asking for help. It’s happening again. I wish a wolf would just eat me up. I don’t think even a wolf would want to eat me. This is so pathetic. No. I am so pathetic. Chances are, I don’t even deserve the word pathetic.

Please. This is not me. Or maybe, I’m just beginning to see who I really am. After a few hours, I will be smiling again. It’s just that lately, my smiles are painful. They’re empty smiles from a barren being.