CAYLABNE: A Pornographic err Photographic Memory.

an attempt to launch my career as a photographer...

Laff trip. Lyric booboos.

OK, be ready to laugh out loud. 1,2,3,4.. AJA!

DREAMS (?) - hey now, hey now this is what dreams are MANGO!

Greatest Love of All - I decided long ago, never to walk in edu manzano...(I decided long ago,
never to walk in anyone's shadow)

Cry by Mandy Moore - A walk to remember... it was late afternoon! (I'll always remember, it was late afternoon)

All My Life by K-ci and Jojo - supposed to be you're like my mother,supposed to be you're like my sister (close to me you're like my mother... close to me you're like my sister)

Where's the Love - People killing, people flying, children hurt an living, crying... (People killing,people dying; children hurt and you hear them crying)

Leaving on a jet plane - so kiss me and SMAFFLE me... (so kiss me and smile for me...)

Usher & Alicia's My Boo - It started when we were younger you were NINE...
(It started when we were younger you were mine)
Eto pa: ...and you were my BEYBLADE... it started when we were younger you were FINE...

If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys - "some people want TAMBOURINES.."
(diamond rings)

Britney's Baby One More Time - My ONLY NEST is killing me... and I........
(My loneliness....)

Thumbthumping (Chumbawumba) - I get knocked down by an elephant, my mommas's gonna bring me down... (I get knocked down, but I get up again...)

Crush by Jennifer Paige - "i-splash, a little crush.." ("it's just.. a little crush..")

Red Hot's Californication - "Viva Californication...."(Dream of Californication...)

No scrubs, TLC - "A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fine but is also known as a BUS STOP" (buster)

The Past (Ray Parker Jr.) - Let's not eat the pasta anymore
(So, let's not bring the past back anymore)

Waterfalls by TLC: Don't go JASON waterfalls... (Chasin')

John Mayer - You're ALICE IN WONDERLAND... You're ALICE IN WONDERLAND I'll use my hands (Body is a wonderland)

Baa Baa Black Sheep: "Baa baa black sheep, heavy on the road..."

With A Smile by Eraserheads: "lift ur HAND.. baby dont be scared.. of the things that could go wrong along the way.. (HEAD!!!)

Wag Na Wag Mong Sasabihin by Kitchie Nadal: maaaaaaaaaag... , magdamag mong
sasabihin........

two-trick pony by sandwich - i have been waiting for you all night under the glow of INSECENT LIGHT (...under the glow of YOUR SATELLITE)

On Bended Knees by Boyz II Men: Oh God give me the reason, I'M DOWN...ABANDON ME... (I'm down on bended knee)

Red Hot's Zephyr Song: Fly away on my CELLPHONE...I feel it more than ever (Fly away on my zephyr, I feel it more than ever)

Nothing's gonna change my love for you... you know NAMAN MY LOVE how much I love you...

Beautiful - Everyday is so wonderful And suddenly, i saw debris

when you tell me that you love me - i wanna levitate and never die

Anima Christi... Soul of Christ, sat beside me [sanctify me]

TLC. Don't go chasing waterworld...

"Superman" by Five for Fighting: "Even heroes have erotic dreams..."

Dido's White Flag - i will go down with this SHIT. (ship pala!)

La La by AShlee SImpson..--

You make ma wanna La la
In the kitchen on the floor

a. i'll be your fresh meat
b. i'll make you pinch me

when i meet u at the door

i'm like
a. an avalanche (hahahaha!)
b. an elephant.. (ano ang rationale dito? haha)

at ang tama ay...:

You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
Where I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

"Miss" Eunibears...

teninched_tommy: ngayon ko lang nakita lahat ng bulacan pix natin from abs’ camera. nalungkot ako bigla
Nice: awww..
teninched_tommy: sabi ni bonn khit asa barko cya nanonood cya ng ruby kc un n lng daw ang koneksyon nating 3.
teninched_tommy: haha grabe un
Nice: nalulungkot na ko.

i miss my friends.
i miss UP.
i miss our intellectual and not so intellectual conversations.
i miss bitchin' around w/ em.
i miss our daily afternoon trips to Oz...
i miss sniffing the smoke from their Yosi, even if it means im gonna die first as the passive smoker.

i miss them.

Katahimikan

nakakabaliw ang katahimikan.
mas nakakabaliw ang maingay na katahimikan.
pero ang pinakanakakabaliw ay ang katahimikan na di matagpuan.

Sappy - mushy - kuchie kuchie koo

I came across a realization last night and i'd like to share it with you guys here about me and alfie. i realized how special we are to God that it takes nothing less than His intervention that keeps us together. He personally makes it a point we stay together. every effort, every resolution from the biggest fights, they all come along with nothing lessthan a MIRACLE. i find it unbelievable, looking back. He exists. and is active in our lives. otherwise, i wouldn't have gone this far with alfie... and life would be so ordinary for me... and i would be just like every other person i dread to be... if that's not a miracle, i don't know what is. ------- MISTER SLYDE

I envy people who are loving despite and inspite of. Looking back, I was so sure I'll be the perfect girlfriend, i'll be the perfect lover, the perfect friend, but apparently, the men I fancy didnt think so. There are millions of people in the world who are braving the challenges of LOVE, but how can I show the world that I can survive it too when there's just no one to love?

Cutie Babba.

I'm a bitch and it's but normal for me to have kids. Meet my child, Babba.
"Mana sa mommy, ang cute cute. haha"

---------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: I dont own Babba. It's my newfound friend's new puppy.

Muscleton.. Kuya Ton.. at ang mga Maton

I did it. I am slowly becoming a health buff, from being tolerably vain, I am now the ultimate Vanity Mascot (mascot being the operative word, think Jollibee,haha). Exaggeration anyone? I have survived my daily trips to the gym for two weeks now. Yeah, I go to the gym 5 days a week, with a minimum of three hours a day. [This is the part where applause is expected]

I remember talking about my family’s vanity meter to be extremely in high gear. Spa, Derma, Dentist, Salon, Shopping, yes we do it together. And recently we added to our list of critical “spots” the dreaded – janjanjanjan – GYM. No I didn’t enroll in Slimmer’s World or in Fitness First, and definitely not in Gold’s Gym. I enrolled in a gym near the comfort of my home, in Muscleton.

How it all started?

I have my father/ Daddy/ clown / ultimate teaser to thank. He scouted for a convenient gym and alas, he found it about 5 minutes away from our sanctuary. Why? Because he knows that we BOTH have to lose weight. I was hesitant, he was optimistic. I had the most negative reaction, “Mucleton? Pangalan palang mapagkakatiwalaan na a.” Of course I was sarcastic. I’m glad my dad didn’t listen to her bratinella daughter and instead, he paid for his membership and monthly fee. Then he went to the gym, without me. How did he entice me into considering the possibility of going to the gym? Uhmm, he went shopping with us for his gym apparels. Inggit.

The First Day

It wasn’t a non-bumpy first day. When I finally gathered the courage to go to the gym, I woke up to an empty house. Apparently, everyone went somewhere and for some strange reason, they all forgot about my plan to go to the gym. Plus, I couldn’t find my effin key! I coudn’t leave the house until someone arrives, so I waited, discouraged. I tried calling my parents, but it was the day my mom put her phone in silent mode. It happens once in a Blue moon, and it had to happen just when it’s critical that everything should fall into place. I was still weak, any challenge would’ve convinced me to not go.

Then my Mom and my Dad came home. They found me in a bitchy mood, and what made it worse was the fact that my mom left the key downstairs. Hanging on the door. By the way, it’s also one of those days when our laundry woman didn’t come, and it’s the first time in ages, I’m not exaggerating. Argh, just remembering how unfortunate the day was makes me frown and smile at the same time.

----- to be continued –---

My BF...

No need to get excited about it. This isn’t an entry about L-O-V-E. While my family was having dinner earlier tonight, we got into a discussion about the Philippine Government. Naks! It all started with the issue of taxes. We all agree that raising taxes and broadening the tax base is a very good idea. Inefficiency in collection is a given but it’s something that shouldn’t be ignored by the present administration. Then we all laughed at how stupid the unico hijo,Mikey Arroyo is for producing his own films which are inevitably “floppables”. That got us into imagining the Padre de Familia of the Arroyo household in his trunks while walking hand in hand with the Ina ng Bayan at some beach. Surely not a sight to behold. My dad said, “Pababa na ng pababa ang rating ni Gloria. Sa tingin ko kung gusto talaga ng oposisyon, kelangan na si Ping na lang ang mamuno. Si Angara kasi wala nang amor sa kanya ang mga tao, kasi ilang beses nang di natutuloy ang mga plano nya. He should’ve run for president a long, long time ago.” Hmm, good point. If FPJ (may he rest in peace) didn’t run for president, Lacson could’ve put up a good fight against Arroyo. There’s something about him that makes me believe that he can at least put into order the present situation. Following the point of an election joke, “Pag si Ping the lang muna nya sa mga bata nya pansamantala.” Nakupo, I’ll get into trouble for writing this.

So there, after discussing how funny and hopeless the Arroyos are, we remembered the cute and adorable BF Fernando.

For me, He’s THE MAN! I hate the whining mayors who walked out of an MMDA meeting. I hate them for having very obvious motives, that is, to endear them to the masses no matter what. I hate it that they’re just too damn noisy and BF is just sticking to his reputation of being a man of few words but LOTSA LOTSA ACTION. I don’t see anything wrong with the pink fences. It’s about time that these jeepney drivers are disciplined. I don’t see anything wrong with his experimentations because if we are talking about human rights, if you’re a violator, then it is but appropriate for you to be punished may it be through fine or humiliation. The Philippines has become a very big circus, and yes it has its positive traits, but since a lot of the “Acts” aren’t funny anymore and are too outdated, I think it’s about time that someone step up to get rid of the boring clowns and welcome the innovative rides.

That’s my BF. He made Marikina world-class, I don’t see any reason why he shouldn’t be given that chance to handle the circus that is Metro Manila.

Ang Init!

Ang init
Kay lagkit ko na,
‘sing lagkit ng pagtitig
ng mamang nanlilimahid
na nasa aking harapan.

Ang init.
Basang-basa na ko.
Tulad ng aleng
may akap ng sanggol
na nagtutulo ng laway..

Ang init.
Ako’y init na init,
Parang yung drayber
Na nakikipagtalo
Sa barker na palalo.

Ang init.
Tayo’y nag-iinit.
Parang ang mga labi
Ng magkasintahang
Nagniniig.

Bad Decisions,, Bad Anakin, huBAD!

Pag nagiging masama lalong nagiging yummy. -- Yunis and Ah-toy

On Episode III Revenge of the Sith

True, true. Just got home from Market! Market! after feasting on the yummy Anakin Skywalker . The Revenge of the Sith is one movie about bad decisions.

1. If your mission's to kill the enemy, then for Christ's sake really kill him. Dont leave him w/ even a burnt body.

2. Dont be "gulliver" err, gullible. Jedi ka na nga ambilis mo naman mapaniwala.

3. If you wanna go to the dark side, think twice. Kasi prerequisite na papangit ka, mabubulok ang ngipin mo, masusunog ang balat mo at magiging bakal ang katawan mo. Di ka na lovable.

4. Higit sa lahat, pag gusto mo magsuplada, isuot mo lang un hood ng damit mo. Uso naman e at maangas ka na tingnan.

On Hiram...

I knew it. Steph (or as Harry would say, Steffff) will die. Margaret shall live. Another soap opera on "bad decisions".

Margaret decided to abandon her fiancee, her family, her bestfriend to prevent them from gettin hurt because she's dying. In the end, everyone suffers.

Steph decided to avenge herself. She therefore kidnaps Margaret on the same day Margaret's dying.

Harry did not believe Margaret the first time she told him she's dying. Apparently, he thinks she'd lie about her own death. Acheche!

Sophia decided to be a good mom just when her daughter's dying.

So there.

IN the end, everything fell into place. Payn.

On Kamao...

Lesson 1: Wag sugod ng sugod ng di sumusuntok.
Lesson 2: Kahit napabagsak ang kalaban ng mabilis, wag pakakasiguro.
Lesson 3: Kelangan para kang Motolite, tumatagaaaaaaaaal.

Usapang Walang Hope

mcdon84: kng papipiliin kau??? maging isang sundalo o kapitan ng barko???????
dayon15: wala.
mcdon84: ayus lng......
mcdon84: uhmmmm may sipon ako e...
jhersee33: isinga mo yan..
jhersee33: kapitan ng barko (basta di palubog un barko)
dayon15: haha!
mcdon84: nde kaya inimbento ang sipon para singhutin
mcdon84: mnsan lng dumating sa buhay mo yan papakawalan mo pa!!!!
dayon15: hmm.. hehe!
mcdon84: kpg natuto kang umibig...mauunawan mo ang cnasabi ko
dayon15: pag-ibig ay sobrang makapangyarihan.. nakakabaliw ng mga tao
jhersee33: aray ko.
jhersee33: marunong naman ako umibig a.
dayon15: masarap mag-chat nde ka pwedeng maging malala
mcdon84: malala??
mcdon84: a ok
mcdon84: hayyyyyyy
dayon15: oo. nde halata ang maraming bagay. para kang naka-antipara at hindi halata ang luha
mcdon84: oo nga cgro kaso hnde mo pinapahalagahan ang sipon
mcdon84: masakit
dayon15: ang pagcha-chat ay isang salamin na tumatakip sa ating tunay na kalagayan
mcdon84: tama ka dayon
jhersee33: grr!
jhersee33:
mcdon84: kpg malabo na ang lahat, mgchat ka nlng kc ang font d2 pedeng ibold!!!!
mcdon84: apir!
jhersee33: hehe..
jhersee33: senti senti tyo a.
dayon15: hehe!
mcdon84: ganun b?
dayon15: wag ka magalit..
jhersee33: sala sa init sala sa lamig.. ako kasi pag wlang pagkakasentihan malungkot, pag meron pagkakasentihan malungkot parin.
dayon15: mag-retiro ka na lang din
jhersee33: ang nagagawa nga naman ng kabiguan.
mcdon84: oo nga
dayon15: haha! wag ka ng malungkot.. ang mundo na iniisip mo ay likha lamang ng ibang tao.
mcdon84: ang kabiguan ay imahinasyon
dayon15: ang mundo mo ay dapat basi sa takbo ng iyong isip at imahinasyon.. maging master ka ng iyong buhay.. wag mo hayaan na palakirin ng iba ang buhay mo
mcdon84: hnde ko kaya un
mcdon84: pero wala ako pakialam sa kanila
jhersee33: kung ang kabiguan ay imahinasyon,, at ang mundo ay based sa isip at imahinasyon mo,, edi self-inflicted lang lhat un?
jhersee33: pano un, interconnected tyo?
dayon15: tumpak.
dayon15: kung ikaw ay mag-iisip ng kasiyahan ay mawawala ang kalungkutan
mcdon84: uhm umayon ka nlng sa amin
dayon15: pwede ka humiwalay. desisyon mo yan. lahat ng bagay ay desisyon ng mga tao na dapat ay master ng kanilang buhay
mcdon84: sa panahong ang lahat ay masaya mahirp ng mgisip
jhersee33: ang kasiyahan may pinaghuhugtan din.. kagaya ng kalungkutan. di puro pagiisip.
mcdon84: teka teka
mcdon84: kilala mo b c ding dong avanzado????
jhersee33: oo naman!
mcdon84: d b kumanta cla...
mcdon84: paalam na aking mahal............
mcdon84: masakit isipin...................
jhersee33: memorized ko un.
mcdon84: na sannnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy ngmmmmaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhaalllllllaan paaaaaaa..
jhersee33: di sya kumanta nun, si rachel alejandro.
mcdon84: ang PUSO'T ISIPAN AY MAGKAIBA!!!!!!!!!!!
mcdon84: see nasusulat.........
jhersee33: ay, sila pa nun di ba? tapos nasulat un kata nun naghiwlay sila.
dayon15: haha! tama ka.
mcdon84: ay ganun ba
mcdon84: sori
jhersee33:
mcdon84: nde ko na alm kng para sn ang argumentong un
mcdon84: wahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jhersee33: e pero sa huli nun, "maaring di lang laan sa isat-isa". .. edi parang fate na ang sinisi.
dayon15: ang kabaliktaran ay hindi lamang ginawa para i-verify ang kabaliktaran pa.
dayon15: maaaring ang kabaliktaran ay imahinasyon para patunayan ang isa pang konsepto.
mcdon84: uhhhhhhhhh
mcdon84: o mamaring may FATE nga para sating lahat
mcdon84: dahil nasusulat ito
jhersee33: contradicting naman lahat ng bagay. nakakainis. hehe
dayon15: hehe! nasa pang-unawa yan!
mcdon84: kelangn ntn ng mga basehan
mcdon84: wahahaha!!! hayyyyyyyyy kabaliwan na to
dayon15: nde ako baliw. nakapag-isipisip lang..
dayon15: potah! bakit ang mayayaman pa ang nagkakatrabaho ng maganda??? BAKIT!!????!!!!
dayon15: kaya ako.. retirado na. bow.
mcdon84: oo nga
jhersee33: true.
mcdon84: bkt ung nakakapunta sa boracay nde umiitim
mcdon84: ako asa bahay lng maitim????
mcdon84: ay maitim pala c ________.
dayon15: oo nga. potah. lalo naman ako. potah.
jhersee33:
dayon15: hehe! oo nga. wala pang pwet
mcdon84: wahahahahah!!!!!!!!
mcdon84: tama!
jhersee33: grabe na kyo.
mcdon84: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh
dayon15: este.. laylay lang pala
mcdon84: hnde na maari ito!!
mcdon84: tsk
dayon15: magpapaapekto ba tayo?? HINDEEEEE.... kaya magretiro na tayo

-----------------
mcdon at dayon, pasensya na kayo. sa tingin ko naging maganda lang 'tong usapan natin...

Where's my (Blue)tooth Fairy?

as some of you know, my computer gave up on me.. so, i had to have it reformatted.. but after the smoke has been cleared i realized that my installer for my bluetooth is missing..

this was my intro for my "panawagan" in friendster. i'm a desperate woman waiting for her "bluetooth fairy", i miss transferring the pics i took using my cameraphone to my pc. i miss tweaking its aesthetic value in Ulead photo express. I so need my Blue SOleil installer cd!!! waah.

I've never been surrounded with so many men for quite sometime now. So, I felt really good after workin out for 3 hours today. Nah, these men arent boyfriend material, but i just miss hanging out with my guy friends. I dunno, after highschool, i only gained close girl/gay friends {ok, except for some, but the number's very minimal}. i miss being "madugyot" and not minding what they're gonna think about me. These are authentic guy [muscled] friends. I almost forgot how good it once felt to be able to joke around ,dapat masculine jokes. Ang saya-saya.

This morning, an anonymous person called me on my cellphone. He was lookin for "Lal". He was claiming that i used the number to contact him. Err, im sure he has the wrong number because i didnt call anyone last night. At dahil i dunno him, i was speaking in ENglish. I'm sorry but nahirapan sya. Defense mechanism ko un e, je suis desolee.

Then after the weird phone call, my long-lost pal AMiel called. He was asking me about Taguig. My home sweet home. He is allegedly doing some market study in the area. We got to catch up on each other's lives. It's always fun to rekindle friendships that are almost nonexistent.

Drama, drama, drama. I was supposed to go to Cebu and Bohol this weekend. But something unexpected happened and the accommodations were changed. So there, I cant go anymore. Sayang. I already packed. Im a "heavy packer" ika nga ni Amitz. haha. Cummon, let's all pack!

Starwars na! My cousin/friend Jeff invited me to watch it with him. He said he's gonna treat me to dinner, Jack's Loft. Hmm, hmm. Ok na sana, sabay sinabihan akong Lesbiana. Wadda effing hell was that about? If i look lesbian, i dunno what's feminine-looking anymore. Kaasar.

Ngunit subalit datapwat... i need my (blue)tooth fairy NOW NA! i miss my bluetooth...

Flattery

flattering conversation for the day:

Casablanca : ur not the type who acts on it
Nice: yeah..
Nice: im just the type who gets acted upon..
Nice: haha
Nice: i dont even know if that's gramatically correct
Casablanca : i think u got that wrong... ur the type that they wish they could act upon

i love that. 'stig.

Ang Gasgas na Nguso -- Bow!

Ako'y isang bata na ubod ng drama
Nagpunta sa derma upang magpaganda
UPang ang bigote ay muling mawala
ito't gasgas sa nguso ang aking napala.

Ang Gasgas sa nguso.. bow!

Paalam na...

this is a tribute to the victims of my recent what-are-the-chances experience.

to my pc who gave up on me and conspired with the gods and
goddesses to
bring misfotune to my already colorful life, i hope you're
happy now that you're
reformated and cleansed.

to the
victims-- my pictures and mp3s--, you've been loyal files, memories
of your
jolly existence in my computer's folders will never be forgotten...

to the persistent pop-ups, may you rest in non-profit.

to my system restore, you have disappointed me.

this is the day i'm literally carrie bradshaw-ed,

with no Aidan to give me a new pc,

kay saklap.

JOYEUX ANNIVERSAIRE to ME!

Just got home from a nightout with my friends. If I'll say that i'm happy, it'll be an understatement. Though the night didn't turn out to be obstacle-free, just the fact that i'm surrounded by the people whom i trust and love is more than enough to compensate for it.

Merci Beaucoup... AM a.k.a Anna [for the really cute sandals], Atoy a.k.a Nate [for the very hot and interesting undies], Abby, Sam, Bon, Jomer, Paul and Jason... for being the friends that you are...

More of My Rules in Dating...

-- if he declares that he's a warlock, it's time to stop entertaining him.

-- if he says he's bisexual, he will eventually become homosexual,dont sweat it.

-- starting out as friends makes things more complicated. starting out as lovers makes things boring.

-- if he says "i love you" or anythin close to it after a week of knowin each other, he's lying.

-- if he doesnt call or text you after a date, "he's just not into you" [quoting Jack Berger from Sex and the City]

-- if he's a childhood sweetheart, chances are, you can only go as far as flings and in-between relationships.

-- go date your bestfriend. go fuck things up.

-- if he asks about your cup size, he wants to have sex w/ u.

----------------------- to be continued ------------------

Where Are YOU?!

Birthday's just 'round the corner... Where are YOU?!

Who is YOU?

YOU...
will not complete me but will complement me.
will hold my hand,kiss me, beat me up at the right place at the right time.
will not tell me to do things but will help me see what i should do.
will surprise me with his creativity and annoying persistence.
will love me. all of me.

Where is YOU?
arrgh,i wish i know.

Sobrang Random..

love complicates things. its existence and its absence for some reason make things a li'l less tolerable.

Carlo: dali take me into ur wings and teach me the art of doing dat... [on flings]

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

i miss my friends. i miss havin love problems.

I have issues with...

honesty excess mother sex love

Take Word Association Test

i dont wanna talk about love pala.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

It's Nice to Feel Pain...

"If you feel the pain, then it's working." -my gym instructor

I guess that's it, pain is an essential part of our lives. It's like signposting, it tells you when an exercise is workin, or when what you're doin is wrong or when you're deeply in love with someone. If you dont feel pain, then you dont appreciate happiness.

Pain makes me strive. Pain makes me look at the good things that i have. Pain is a promise. A promise that it too shall pass.

Vanity is our Family Name...

I am now 101% sure that my family is the coolest family in town. Besides the fact that we all love each other (aww, group hug), duh that's a given, i dont know of any family that goes to the dermatologist, goes to the spa, goes to the parlor, gets drunk and goes shopping together. TOGETHER. Everyone present. My mom and my dad and my two sibs.

Last Saturday, we went on a gimmick.. got sorta drunk at Bagaberde. Last week, we went to the spa... we all spent our day there relaxing and went shopping, literal ito! Yesterday we watched a flick and went shopping again. Next week we plan to get a body massage. Today, i went to the gym w/ my dad... Haay.

I will never forget my dad's "bilin"..

"Pag nagkaron kayo ng pamilya, maging goal nyo na mabigyan nyo sila ng higit sa nabibigay namin sa inyo..."

Uhmm, dad.. that's gonna be tough. You and mom give us everything and more. Aww, group hug ulit.

The Sweet Side of Suicide

"He took his life because he wanted to protect us from the further pending hell that was again to break loose, as a result of losing his battle in the Supreme Court, as a result of the injustice that continued without fail," Dolly said, reading from a statement after the ninth-day Mass for Borlongan last Tuesday..."

I saw Ces Drilon's interview of Dolly Borlongan last week, and i couldnt help but be affected. She talked about how "it was ted's personality" to eventually commit suicide, and how it's his way of showing his love for her. I can feel how mixed her emotions still are about her husband's death. I never thought she wold talk about the SWEET SIDE of SUICIDE. Death really is one mystery that we are yet to fully understand.

A flashback of one scene in Kingdom of Heaven ran into my usually barren mind [naks], that scene where Orlando Bloom's dead wife was being buried. They had to cut her head because she committed suicide. I dont think it's necessary. Im sure a lot of people'll agree, and im sure my opinion is useless because this tradition must've disappeared ages ago. Will you be surely in hell if you committed suicide? What if it's your only way to save other people? Won't God understand?

"I'm sure God will understand. If He wouldnt, then He is not God." [Orlando Bloom on burning the cadavers while being stopped by the Pope]

How do we measure if one's reason for suicide is just and isnt plain selfishness or cowardice? How do we know if it's in the personality of a person to be suicidal? I'm sure there are psychological symptoms, but do we really know? It's a horrifying fact that a person's life is so bad that one chooses to end it. I think suicide is that one fleeting (Yassy-inspired) moment where you feel it's the best thing to resort to. It's that one insane minute of superficial sanity.

I dont think I could ever commit suicide. I cant stand the thought of bringin so much grief to my family. Im sure someone'll blame him/herself for my death and i cant stand that. There's no sweet side of suicide for me.

As for Ted Borlongan's family, i hope they survive his love. Death is such a tough act to "follow".

7 Things You'll Learn only in UP by Ryan Cayabyab

1. Ang buhay ay parang IKOT jeep. Ang iyong patutunguhan ay siya ring iyong pinanggalingan.

2. U.P. lang ang may TOKI, sa buhay wala nito. Pero nasasaiyo na yon kung nais mong pabaligtad ang takbo ng buhay mo.


3. Sa IKOT, pwede kang magkamali ng baba kahit ilang beses, sasakay ka lang uli. Sa buhay, kapag paikot-ikot ka na at laging mali pa rin ang iyong baba, naku, may sayad ka.


4. Sa U.P., lahat tayo magaling. Aminin nating lahat na tayo'y magagaling. Ang problema dun,
lahat tayo magaling!


5. Kung sa U.P. ay sipsip ka na, siguradong paglabas mo, sipsip ka pa rin.


6. Sa U.P., tulad sa buhay, ang babae at ang lalake, at lahat ng nasa gitna, ay patas, walang
pinagkaiba sa dunong, sa talino, sa pagmamalasakit, sa kalawakan ng isipan, sa pag-
iibigan; at kahit na rin sa kabaliwan, sa kalokohan at sa katarantaduhan.

At ang panghuli:


7. Sa U.P. tulad sa buhay, bawal ang overstaying.

*by Prof. Ryan Cayabyab
from Commencement speech given on April 24,
2005 before the Class of 2005, UP Diliman,
Quezon City

Kingdom of Heaven (cont'n)

....... Alas, Janice and Atoy appeared over the horizon...[aaaah, Nina syndrome] and i got excited. Haven't seen Janice for quite a long time and i heard she missed laughin w/ us. We decided to go to her office in Ortigas to catch up on our kwentuhans. At Accenture, Janice once again did something hilariously funny.

(a guy walks past us, with his friends)
Janice: hi spike!
Guy: (looks at Janice)
Janice: Spike? Ikaw ba si Spike?
Guy: Hindi.
(Atoy and I were tryin soo hard to conceal our laughter, the guy left...)
Jersee: Bakit mo nasabi na si Spike sya? kamukha ba nya?
Janice: Di,para kasing bagay sa kanya un name na Spike e..
(laughtrip na talaga)

Grabe! Janice never fails to brighten up my day. But i adore her for giving us a cup of coffee and a glass of iced tea, at least it prevented us from gettin dehydrated after walkin our way to her office. After that fun visit, Atoy and i embarked on a journey to our final destination, Robinson's Galleria. What did we do from around 4;30 to 7:30? We walked, again... in my new polka stilettos. i know, it's nothin new, I'm with Atoy anyway, so it's a normal thing.

Kingdom of Heaven.

I bumped into Neil and BB Fred at the cinema, said our usual hellos and his. Then we had to wait for almost an hour before the movie started. Atoy and I entertained ourselves by taking pictures. the usual narcissistic persons that we are.

T'was an aesthetically-pleasing flick, and overall i loved it. There's nothin unbelievably spectacular about it, but it's well-made.

In the end, everything was worth it. I had fun. And it's all that matters.

Kingdom of Heaven... Part One

Quote for the day:
"i say, merge with the other army.. repent later." -- Pope from Kingdom of Heaven.

Just got home from a very tiring and should i say, "adventurous" day.Woke up early because of a very persistent caller who turned out to be Atoy. He missed his HSBC interview and he's harassing me into going to school earlier. Why did he miss his interview? As usual, as a member of the "What are the chances Club" MRT had to break down while he was on his way to Ortigas. Ok,ok he didnt harass me, he just pressured me into gettin out of my bed. Arrgh.

Then i went to 99.5 Rt's station to claim the tix for the premiere. Didnt want to go back later in the afternoon so i let fate decide. I told myself, if a jeepney that's gonna be passing by the station'll arrive, then i'm gonna claim it. It came, i saw and fate conquered. Ngaks, pinagpilitan.

I feel extra pretty today, i dunno why. Must be the crocheted white top and the killer stilettos.
After claiming the tix, chitchattin w/ afew of the staff and runnin away from a creepy guy i went straight to Peyups.

This is the 2nd time i'm gonna say it, but i still felt nostalgic when i passed by the Oblation. Proud to be a UP Econ grad.. When i came to Econ, there was no Atoy. He was stil in SM North w/ Janice. So i waited and had to pay for my extra pics. 250 freaggin' pesos. Waah, that's what i get for lovin myself soo much. A lot of pics to pay for..

------------------ itutuloy--------------------

What Stresses me Out?

1. High expectations
2. being helpless
3. having the need to explain myself
4. writing a "What stresses Me out?" list.

arrgh, im stressed.