The Start of Another Season,,

I just finished watching all 18 episodes of Sex and the City’s Season 4 (today, yup.. im an official bum. Watchin dvd’s for 8 hours) and though I already know what’s gonna happen in seasons 5 and 6 I still couldn’t help but feel bad for Carrie Bradshaw. The season ended with Big leaving New York, I was struck by what Charlotte said. That she thought Carrie and Big’ll end up together because though they made mistakes, they’re meant for each other. It’s just so weird because lately, I’ve been hearing Alicia Keys and User’s My Boo everywhere. “ there’s always that one person that will always have your heart. You’ll never see it coming ‘coz you’re blinded from the start.” Err, sorry can’t relate. I would’ve believed that about two years ago when I was agonizing on my alleged love for my so-called best guy friend, but now, looking back.. I don’t think there’s any guy in my past that I would want to end up with. Not even my long time crush, “one-moment-he’s-here-one-moment-he’s-nonexistent” childhood fantasy. Am I too jaded? Am I really blinded? Just like Carrie, should I be involved with Aidan “too good to be true”, the Jazz guy, Jack “insecure” Berger and the Russian “totally rich and artsy” guy first before I finally get reunited with Big? Who is BIG in my life anyway?

I’ve always wanted Carrie and Big to be together, Big is the epitome of a man I would want to end up with. He makes Carrie think, he is financially-stable, funny at times, always there when Carrie needs him, doesn’t drool over Carrie and is good in bed. I would want someone who will call me Kiddo without looking at me like I’m one inexperienced woman. I want a guy who can spend the night with me and really talk to me. Someone who’ll have control over me without totally shoving it to my face. Someone who’ll also play “Moon river” out of nowhere thinking that it isn’t corny but “CLASSIC”. I guess I’m a hybrid of Carrie and Miranda. I’m a future lawyer anyway, so in no time, I would have to think and act like Miranda. I don’t even think if it’s a good combination since I don’t have a Steve in my life who would still wanna give me a “mercy-fuck” when I’m pregnant and horny without a husband. (creepy) just like Miranda, I’m not really into the whole Baby Shower thing, I don’t think I would want to give my career up for my love life, not even for a great family life. I don’t think I’ll be a plain housewife.

It’s funny that now I’m admitting all these things. Not too long ago, I was ok with the idea of totally concentrating on a family life if ever I get married. But now, I have changed. I don’t see anything wrong with same sex marriage anymore, and I don’t think it should be a matter of religion. I don’t see anything wrong with divorce anymore especially now that I’m aware of how many marriages are just not working. I’m not against premarital sex anymore (though I’m still not doing it) because I know a lot of wonderful people who are doing it and are in no way living shitty lives. I don’t see women who had abortion as totally sinful persons because for as long as what they did became an eye-opener for them and it became a reminder for them to be responsible for their actions then I guess the guilt and anguish that they had to go through made them suffer enough. I don’t take it against people that they’re atheists anymore because just like me, they just chose to take the path that they think would be more appropriate for them. In fact I admire them for surviving a life which isn’t dependent on miracles. I must admit that this is far from the Eunice that I once knew, but whether I want to admit it or not, I like the new Eunice more.

I guess through the years, I have become more open to a lot of things. Just like the evolution of my love for Sex and the City, I have evolved into someone who isn’t too judgmental. Someone who acknowledges that my beliefs don’t represent and should never represent the beliefs of other people. I’d like to think I’ve become more tolerant, more level-headed. I’m ready to try new things now, I’m not getting any younger. I don’t know if I’ll find my Big, I don’t know if I’ll be as tough as Miranda, or as sexually-satisfied as Samantha or as family-oriented as Charlotte, nobody knows. But hey, I can always watch my DVDs and try to look back when I’m 30 that when I was twenty, I was intelligent enough to stop and think. Err, I wish I can write for Vogue too.

Now, where can I download the MP3 of Moon river?