DEHYDRATED

I have deprived myself of water.

Anything flowing, moist or glistening
awakens an inexplicable sense of rage,
confusion, longing.
My dry, flaky skin almost powdered
To its shame reminds me of sand;
Every strand of hair has a story infinite in number
Never a panacea.

Did you deliberately die to mock me?I imagine you to be caressing her,
Holding on to her like some immortal,
Whose touch you have blissfully anticipated.
She has stolen your last breath, like Taking away the last cookie in my cookie jar.
You gasped with her, drowned with her,
Together, you moaned, never halted, just died.

I could’ve just choked you with a pillow and
Let you wither on our lucrative water bed,
You should’ve told me you wanted to die like that.
I would’ve stabbed you while we’re exploring each other,
Taking a shower with bodies entwined
Lubricated by water gushing out, suds all over.
I would’ve put poison in your coffee and
Let it sip away what superficial life
You have forced me to live.

I thought WE lived,
You have nourished me, rained on me;
Only to suck whatever was flowing inside of me.
Saliva, urine, blood –contaminated.
Poison seeping through.
Forcing its way through my semi-permeable membrane.

I have deprived myself of water,
Your presence haunts me and your laughter
Has continuously mocked my faith
In a life which you have mindlessly
destroyed and wasted.
I have deprived myself of water,
not because it drowned you but because
it exposed the mud behind what seemed to be something pure.
I have deprived myself of water,
By doing so, I am able to celebrate
Your death.
For I will die not because of water and its existence,
Only due to lack thereof.