Wow, I wrote this a few years ago.

Hey,

This is weird. I did say I’ll send you an email right? Lemme start by saying thank you for the phone conversations, the time you spared or uhmm, wasted talking to me. you have to believe me that I do appreciate it so much. We’ve only known each other for a short period of time but I guess you’re one of those people who managed to influence me and made me think, even intimidated me. Not a lot of them see what you see, or uhmm, maybe they do…but not a lot of people are courageous enough to point these things out straight to my face.

It may seem like I don’t mean most of the words I say, or that I don’t take you seriously or that I’m plain shallow and stubborn and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry if at times I’m just a bore or a pain in the ass. I’m sorry if I call you and never talk. You must understand that I cherish even the silence that we shared. You are a dear friend, you make me laugh. Yeah, I have to give you credit for that, you DO make me laugh. At times, I would remember something you said and I’ll just smile. It may look like I don’t pay attention but I guess it’s just me. my defense mechanism, I’m still scared ‘coz I don’t really know you.

I know you remember me saying that I’m not used to opening up. I don’t even confide to my closest friends. My pride, I guess. I do pay attention, I do keep in mind the things you say. I sometimes try to recall how it all started, how we became the (I’d like to think) close friends that we are right now, but it just frustrates me because I don’t really know. I remember you saying that “for all we know, maybe it’s gonna stop when school starts”. You changed the topic and didn’t dwell on the idea, I pretended that I didn’t hear it..but I did. Im scared that we’re drifting apart, I’m scared that maybe we got close for convenience, or because we didn’t have a choice. I don’t really need assurance, I’m not in the position to ask for that. I’m still going to fulfill my part of the friendship anyway.

You worry me, it’s as if you live for pain. I DO WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. I do want you to get a job. I wish you’ll find what it is you’re looking for. I wish you’ll stop getting frustrated and that the people around you, your friends’ll stop disappointing you. I wish they start fulfilling their promises. Don’t lose faith in them ‘coz they need your faith. I’m sorry if I can’t really say these things in person, must be my pride… that’s why I’m a writer. It’s true, you predicted it right, I really am missing you. I miss talking to you ‘til morning and I miss having you around. I miss your straightforward remarks / diagnosis of my depressing personality. I miss you and I dunno if I should even be saying this or writing this letter.

I’m sorry if I may have burdened you or made life a li’l harder, a li’l complicated, a li’l irritating for you. Thank you, I wish I can give you a hug right now. I’m sorry if I cant be the “comforting arm” while you are sleeping that you’ve dreamed about for 2 consecutive nights. You take care ok? I believe in you, you can be the “bum” or the “professional”, it doesn’t make much of a difference. You’re a buddy. Gotta run,, I’ll bump into you next time. I hope.

Smilin’,
Eunee =)

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i omitted some parts. Natuwa lang ako na naka-save pala sa pc ko ito.