Rantings

I didn’t go to class today not only because of my hyperacidity attack but more importantly because I didn’t feel like it. The Consti Exam result was devastating. I am not being a selfish brat because I know that some people are in worse positions but I know I couldn’t be blamed for feeling bad. I entered the classroom that day thinking that for the first time in ages, I am confident. I went out of the room still feeling that way. But yesterday, I had to be once again humiliated.

Today, I spent time rethinking of where I am in my timeline. This is the timeline I made back when I was in grade school. I’m right on time, this is exactly how I imagine myself to be back when I was just a grade school kiddo dreaming big. Last night, I spent my quiet time in the shower, crying and just being the drama queen that I am. I am not losing hope. I am not ready to let go of my dreams that easily. Besides, it’s just one bad midterm exam. I still have Logic and Oblicon to look forward to. I am quite optimistic about it. At this point, I remembered a friend from Law school whom I got the chance to talk to a few weeks ago. He said that he also didn’t do that well in his Midterms in Consti but he managed to survive. After all, it’s just 25%... Finals is 50% of my grade. So there is still hope.

Another blockmate of mine is contemplating on leaving the law school. Melo told us that this blockmate of ours is trying to weigh things and that he needs at least three reasons why he should stay. He didn’t ask me but I’ll say this anyway. These are the reasons that I could think of.

1. You are needed here, we need you to give us strength as much as we want to be strong for you.
2. We believe in your capabilities and no bad grade nor recit will change that.
3. When we graduate, it will be way better to look back with you, laughing all the bad memories off because someway, somehow… WE MADE IT.
4. You need to finish what you started. It’s one thing to fail trying than to just turn your back on it and shrug your shoulders.

Lagi na lang yata ganito ang storya ng buhay natin. Someone pointed out last night the fact that my group of friends (including me) are the ones who are having the hard time. I got offended. I don’t want to look at it that way. I think that if there’s one thing that’s common in all of us, it’s not minding how way ahead other people are. This isn’t a competition but I’m looking at it as a first-class cruise with the most diverse people. I don’t mind not being on top for as long as I am learning. Studying law is just one part of our personality.

I must admit, for a short moment I felt like I’m dumb. But I know that I am not. I don’t need to prove anything anymore because I have gone a long way. To my friends, I wouldn’t have done it any other way. If I will be given the chance again to restudy for the midterms, I will still study with you and I will still make the small chats that we made.

I will not make the same mistakes again… Cheers to new mistakes!