Weird day.

Panahon na para makaganti ako sa kanya. Dahil maraming beses nya kami ininjan, ito ang araw na sinabi kong... "AKO NAMAN!" [In re: Legal Writing Absence]

I overslept today but it's a normal thing for me. What's abnormal about my sleep was my dream. I dreamt of the Ateneo Law Library. Nakakadiri. We were all barefoot, some were studying, some were just passing by. They were all familiar faces. Pero di un ang catch. Di ko babanggitin ang pangalan nya dahil napaka-incriminating for me pero alam kong kilala sya ng DuhPerm. Ang aking Lawschool DYOWA ay nandun sa dream at pinagtapat nya na meron syang HD sakin. Nakakatawa kasi sinampal ko yata sya pagkasabi nya at sinabi kong, "Gago ka ba?" Tapos natapos ang dream ko na naghahabulan kami mala-sitcom. San ka pa diba? Whatta way to start my day. Di ko kinwento kanina kasi nandidiri parin ako pag naaalala ko. Haha.

Alam kong inexpect na ito ni Ana kaya gagawin ko parin. Ang masasabi ko lang ay SILENCIO DE GALAW si Ana today. She got to talk to Mr. Beda Law who turned out to be from Tacloban also. I think she's freaked out of the fact that he knows her full name.. Well, I say... KAYOD MARINO! haha. Lagot ka kay Mia. =P I saw his friendster account na and he's single. PWEDE!

Si Kay naman ay pinagdiskitahan namin ni Kiboi kanina. 5th degree of consanguinity? Pwede! Kay, mag-isip isip ka. Haha.

Bagong gupit si Pepay. Dapat talaga nagpakalbo na lang sya para kamukha nya si Mr. Clean. Astig kaya un.

Natutuwa akong malaman na na-miss ako ng mga tao. Nalulungkot akong malaman na sa Tuesday na un report sa Logic. Ngii.

Lastly, gusto ko magpasalamat kay Hazel at Shem sa kanilang PRANK kanina. When I asked them if i got called to recite sa Legal Writing, they both replied to me in the affirmative. Na-devas naman ako dahil isang pagkakataon ka lang makakapagrecite sa Legal Writing. Tinry ko na i-compute ang grade ko sa kanya at natanggap ko na. Pero nang sinabi ni Hazel na, "Ok lang yan, kalimutan mo na un." THat gave her away. Alam kong di nya un sasabihin. Therefore, isa lang syang malaking JOKE. Whatta relief!

Buti naman at natapos ko na ang Section 9 ng Consti at Ang OBLICON na hanggang NOVATION. Ibig sabihin, pwede ako magliwaliw with my family later. Im so excited for my sister, Prom na nya sa Feb. 18 at magsho-shopping kami today for her prom dress at shoes. Ipapa-sched ko na rin sya for her hair and make-up appointment. Teary-eyed na ako nyan, malaki na sya. Dalaga na ang bunso namin, hehe. Naglulumandi na nga e, may lovelife. Can I just say na ang dalawa kong kapatid ay may LOVELIFE? Argh. Sickening kasi ako ang WALA. Kamusta naman.

Magpapagawa na rin pala ako ng glasses sa wakas. At un Laptop ko, sa tingin ko ay coming soon na. In re: Driving, konti na lang makakatiyempo na ko ulit para hiritan sila na magd-drive na ko. Hello my Baby Benz, we shall be one again. Pag ok un Logic at Oblicon, let's get it on na ulit!

SHIT ALWAYS HAPPENS.

There are times when everything you thought and believed in will altogether fall as a mockery of how hard you tried to make the most out of your life. Sometimes, the effort that you exert is just not proportional to the good things that come your way. I dont know if the best is yet to come or if "THE WORST" is waiting to catch "THE BEST" offguard and further dishearten me.

"Ano pa ba ang kulang? Minsan naiisip ko na bobo nga yata ako. Pumasok ako sa classroom na akala ko handa na ko, lumabas akong naniniwala parin. "

Only to be disproved by the unexpected result of the things i prepared for. Failure is a very good way to make you aware that you are not perfect. But if it happens as often or even more often than the times that you feel triumphant, though you refuse to, you start to get the hang of it.

"Shit happens."

But the thing is, the cliche doesnt have the word ALWAYS in it. If Shit ALWAYS HAPPENS then it's just plain crappy. If SHIT continues to throw itself to my face then I might start to believe that it's all there is to my journey.
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• written that fateful day that we got our Consti Midterms result in Starbucks Loft
• image from POST SECRET
  

You just feel.

To be lost in translation is like testing how at ease you are with being with yourself. It's like trying to make a conversation that brings out issues you'd rather not face. All of a sudden, you become aware of every sensation that creates positive and negative effects. If in that particular moment, you realize that you enjoy conversing with the tiny persons that are within you, only then will you be sure that you love the single YOU that emerged amidst all the other YOUs that could've been. That's when you would have accepted the truth that YOU DON'T CARE ANYMORE. You just feel.

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written by the soloista me last night at Starbucks Loft after reading Section 9 of the Consti Case Book
image from POST SECRET

Rantings

I didn’t go to class today not only because of my hyperacidity attack but more importantly because I didn’t feel like it. The Consti Exam result was devastating. I am not being a selfish brat because I know that some people are in worse positions but I know I couldn’t be blamed for feeling bad. I entered the classroom that day thinking that for the first time in ages, I am confident. I went out of the room still feeling that way. But yesterday, I had to be once again humiliated.

Today, I spent time rethinking of where I am in my timeline. This is the timeline I made back when I was in grade school. I’m right on time, this is exactly how I imagine myself to be back when I was just a grade school kiddo dreaming big. Last night, I spent my quiet time in the shower, crying and just being the drama queen that I am. I am not losing hope. I am not ready to let go of my dreams that easily. Besides, it’s just one bad midterm exam. I still have Logic and Oblicon to look forward to. I am quite optimistic about it. At this point, I remembered a friend from Law school whom I got the chance to talk to a few weeks ago. He said that he also didn’t do that well in his Midterms in Consti but he managed to survive. After all, it’s just 25%... Finals is 50% of my grade. So there is still hope.

Another blockmate of mine is contemplating on leaving the law school. Melo told us that this blockmate of ours is trying to weigh things and that he needs at least three reasons why he should stay. He didn’t ask me but I’ll say this anyway. These are the reasons that I could think of.

1. You are needed here, we need you to give us strength as much as we want to be strong for you.
2. We believe in your capabilities and no bad grade nor recit will change that.
3. When we graduate, it will be way better to look back with you, laughing all the bad memories off because someway, somehow… WE MADE IT.
4. You need to finish what you started. It’s one thing to fail trying than to just turn your back on it and shrug your shoulders.

Lagi na lang yata ganito ang storya ng buhay natin. Someone pointed out last night the fact that my group of friends (including me) are the ones who are having the hard time. I got offended. I don’t want to look at it that way. I think that if there’s one thing that’s common in all of us, it’s not minding how way ahead other people are. This isn’t a competition but I’m looking at it as a first-class cruise with the most diverse people. I don’t mind not being on top for as long as I am learning. Studying law is just one part of our personality.

I must admit, for a short moment I felt like I’m dumb. But I know that I am not. I don’t need to prove anything anymore because I have gone a long way. To my friends, I wouldn’t have done it any other way. If I will be given the chance again to restudy for the midterms, I will still study with you and I will still make the small chats that we made.

I will not make the same mistakes again… Cheers to new mistakes!

Tadhana

Di madamot ang tadhana... mapaglaro lang at palabiro. Isang malaking biro nga yata ang buhay ko, di tulad ng maraming mga jokes, di natatapos ang pagtawa sa "Knock, knock" o sa "Sirit na!". Tuloy-tuloy lang ang halakhak. Kahit takpan ko ang aking mga tenga, patuloy parin itong nag-iingay sa aking isipan. Minsan sinubukan kong kantahin na lang, minsan naman dinadaan na lang sa costume... pero sa paulit-ulit na pagtawa ng tadhanang hindi alam kung kelan dapat tumigil, gusto ko na sana magtago na lang sa backstage hanggang sa matapos ang palabas. Sa buhay ko kasi, walang FIRE EXIT ang entablado pero may washroom na mahaba ang pila.

Di ko kelangan ng mga palakpak ng mga taong di ko naman inimbitahan. Yang si gagong tadhana kasi kung sino-sino ang binibigyan ng tiket. Wala akong problema sa mga kritiko, sila ang may problema sakin. Nung kinuha ko na manager ang tadhana, di ko alam na masyado pala sya mapagbigay. Nagmamarunong at nagpapaka-spontaneous. Putang ina. Tigilan mo na ang paglalaro at pagbibiro! Ayoko nang maging star ng sitcom... Success story naman sana kung pwede.

Di naman madamot ang tadhana. Gago lang at manggagantso.
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images from POST SECRET.

STRESS RELIEVER

Who's Your Music Match?

Eunice, your music match is a Smooth Soul Singer

Like your music match Alicia Keys sings, "Some people want it all. But everything means nothing if I ain't got you." While you may come across as cool, you've got depths that run deeper than most. Sure material possessions are nice, but you know there's more to life than diamonds, fancy cars, and big houses. It's about connecting and sharing a deeper bond with others. And having someone to share those nice things with.

Maybe you're a romantic who's got a way with words. Maybe you're just more expressive than other folks. Whatever it is, one thing's for sure — you've got soul. And that's what makes you a smooth and sexy siren. Now that's hot!

Which Theme Party Are You?

Eunice, you're a Hollywood Bash

Ever get called a classic? We bet you have. You've got a great sense of style, and we bet you always know what looks good on you. You probably like the finer things in life and don't mind paying a little extra to get exactly what you want. And that's why a fancy and fabulous Hollywood bash would be an award-winning event. Cheers to that!

What Kind of Party Legend Are You?

Eunice, you're a legend for your parties with a Funny flair

Knock knock, who's there? All your hysterical friends! Sides split when you host a party because these guys can be real jokers. In fact, it's all this fun-filled humor that makes you such a party legend!

To let the good times roll, you're probably not too shy about pulling out a board game or sparking up a round of charades. Did someone mention costumes, theme parties, or wigs? Sorry, that might have been your last party.

No doubt, the ice breaks quickly when you're in charge. And that's a good thing. It's great to get people mingling and making new friends. True to form, you don't sweat the small stuff. How can you fret over feet on the coffee table when someone's doing a spot-on celebrity impression?

But hey, if the gang's more into the football game than the Life game, it might be better to switch on the set. At least until halftime. This takes some of the pressure off, and who can be bored when the score's tied in the big event?

What's Your Shopping Style?

Eunice, you're a Betty!

Ka-ching, Ka-ching! We'd be willing to bet the cash register that you're a deal-huntin', discount-lovin' shopper — a true Bargain Betty. You have a real nose for value, and you know the location of every outlet mall in your tri-state area. Let's put it this way — we wouldn't want to get in your way when you're elbowing toward the sale racks. Of course, that doesn't mean you sacrifice quality just to save a few bucks. On the contrary — you're willing to spring for the good stuff when it's worth it; after all, it's a better deal in the long run, since you won't have to replace it as often. Plain and simple, you're a smart shopper, and that's a great thing to be. Happy shopping!

What Tickles You Pink?

Eunice, Great Adventures tickle you pink

Try anything once is your motto — and that covers everything from exotic foods to fashion trends. Sure, you've got a wild side that might make you want to do crazy things like climb mountains or dance around the house in your pajamas. But that's what makes you so much fun.

Your sense of adventure makes you a little unpredictable, but you can also be the go-to gal when people need a break from the ordinary. You make everything special. Always on the lookout for the next best thing, you're even happier if you're the first to try it. Keep it up, wild thing.
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IF YOU'RE NOW ENTICED AND CRAVING TO ANSWER TESTS...

GO TO TICKLE

OK NAMAN AKO

I can officially say that I'm feeling way better now than a few months ago. My first Midterms in lawschool was waaaaaaay waaaaaaaaay worse than my Midterms this sem. Unlike my my "first time", I am now more relaxed and more confident with my answers. I guess just like anything that one has to learn, the most difficult part is to actually get started and remain interested.

I feel bad that another one of my blockmates decided to leave. To Miss JustMyIdiosyncrasies, I hope I get to talk to you one of these days because I only found out that you are quitting yesterday. I really hate goodbyes. But even if lawschool's not for you, I know you'll find what will make you feel fulfilled and contented. You're a wonderful girl... I will miss your calling everyone "Ganda" or "Sexy". =( We sill find our "human warmth" soon girl, di nga lang sa Cuddles. =P

Last night, Pepe gave Kay and I a lift home. Just when we were nearing the place where he'll drop me off, there's this white two-door Honda Civic that was in front of us. At first, I didnt think that Pepe noticed how slow the car was going so I just didnt comment on it. But ater sometime, di na rin natiis ni Pepe and he said... "Driver yata ng punerarya 'to e." and that got me into a laughing fest. I was laughing the whole time because Pepe's delivery of the line was flawless. I swear it still cracks me up just trying to remember.

I'm getting my hair curled again this Tuesday. Hmm... It's called the DigiPerm and I'm getting it for free, thanks to Melo and Ceia. My "curling buddy" will be Yvie and we'll be going to class as the "Braidy bunch" haha. I dread that day when we have to arrive at the same time sporting the same curls. That is soooo Paris and Nicole. That's hot. Hehe.

EMODE MODE

Which Queer Eye Is Right for You?

Eunice, you need a date with Jai

Good thing you don't like secrets, because like your Queer Eye match, Jai Rodriguez, you tend to wear your heart on your sleeve. That's right, you don't mind showing your true colors — a lovable quality even if it means you cry during sappy commercials. But that's what makes it so easy for people to pour their hearts out to you.

Ever seen Jai get to the root of the problem with a question or two? Then solve it with a meaningful gesture or purchase? Creative and curious, you've got the same sort of ease and grace with people — you like figuring out what makes them tick, and you can offer a helping hand without seeming intrusive or showy. Just be sure to bring the tissues.

Who's Your Red Carpet Match?

Eunice, your red carpet match is Debra Messing

Sure, you can be called the girl next door...but only if the girl next door is a fashion maven who never goes out of style! A couple of classics, you and Debra Messing don't mess around with fly-by-night fashions that will be forgotten tomorrow.

You know what it takes to show off your assets, and you always know how to dress for every occasion. Trustworthy and self-assured, it's going to take more than hordes of paparazzi and a red carpet to make you sweat. That's hot!

Which "Friend" Are You?

Eunice, you've got a little bit of Phoebe going on!

Um, ok! You're, like Phoebe. Ok, so you may not have Phoebe's, well, special intuition or, um, musical talent. But, like everyone's favorite beautiful-blond-psychic-masseuse, you never lie and your friends are the most important thing in your life.

With an utterly free spirit like yours, some people see you as flaky. But creative, perceptive-as-heck, and eerily wise is more like it. You see the good in everyone, which could make your dating life a bit, well, uneven. But you always land on your feet with your humor, kindness, (and who-knows-what-from-beyond) as your guide.

What Kind of Party Animal Are You?

Eunice, you're a Fish!

Bring on the next shindig — you're raring to go! As a Fish, you're the queen of the party animals, and you always make a big splash. Your fun-loving, easy-going personality makes you a natural at social gatherings. Without a doubt, you're the first to make a toast when they're handing out cold, frosty ones. Heck, if it's liquid, you're always willing to dive right in. Your stamina gives the guys a run for their money, and they love you for it — you're everyone's favorite party buddy. You may occasionally regret your festive nature the next day, but don't worry about it too much. As long as you're having fun, live it up!

What's Your Bridget Jones Moment?

Eunice, your Bridget Jones moment is Dressing for the Wrong Occasion

You may not subscribe to every fashion magazine, but that doesn't mean that you don't have, um, style. A ridiculously short skirt can showcase your finer assets, even if you're just walking the dog. Your fashion choices may raise eyebrows from time to time, but they're a true expression of who you are. And that's commendable.

Fashion, while fun, isn't the most important thing in the world to you. After all, you're much more than your clothes. You've got a sparkling personality, and you don't really care too much about what other people think. So keep up the good work. No matter what you're wearing, you're sure to brighten up any occasion!

What's Your Driving Fantasy?

Eunice, your driving fantasy is The Autobahn You've got a need — a need for speed. For you, road trips are more than a way to get from here to there. Driving, like those who've traveled Germany's famed no speed limit roadway know, is a way to test the road and engage in your surroundings. You appreciate the finer points of driving — like the curve of the road, the performance of the car, and all the nuances of true skill behind the wheel. You're a driver's driver, so when it comes to dream destinations all you need is a great car and road cool enough to test your reflexes and escape your daily hassles.

But once you arrive at your dream destination, you're sure to embrace it like you embrace the road — wholeheartedly with a sense of adventure and panache. Some say getting there is half the fun. And you agree, so long as you get there in record time and record style.

Eunice, you're most like Sex and The City As they kvetch about their love lives over brunch or Cosmos, the ladies in Carrie's clique share plenty of clever conversation and laughs. Whether or not you've got Manolo Blahniks lining your closet and call the Big Apple home, you've got a sophisticated sense of humor. With your savvy and quick wit, you're sure to shine when it comes to trading witty repartee with other smart cookies. And while bathroom humor may not be your thing, that doesn't mean you're a prude. Like the Sex and the City girls, you're not afraid to dish about silly and even, taboo topics (remember The Rabbit?), but you always handle yourself and your jokes with class. We're sure even Charlotte would approve!

Which Shoe Fits You?

Eunice, today you should slip into a pair of Practical Pumps!

Skim latte and 20 minutes of that morning show: this sounds like how you might start your days if you're a Practical Pump. Maybe it's that you're the kind of person who looks put together—whether in jeans, an ultrahip suit, or a drop-dead dress. Or perhaps it's just that when you look good, you project a stronger sense of who you are. People take your ideas more seriously and think of you as a leader when it comes to everything from the boardroom to the barstool. You can be independent without being Gloria Steinem. Even in a chunky heel you can pull off a delicate spaghetti strap camisole with no problem. So straight-laced isn't necessarily your MO. You make that perfectly clear when you're feeling a little devilish. Whatever your take on looks and life, it's very clear that you never go out of style.

Eunice, your OC crush is Seth

Dorky? Maybe. Loveable? Totally! What's not to love about this cutie? A smarty like you looks beneath the surface, and that's why only a brainy hottie like Seth will do as your OC crush.

Sensible and responsible, you've got a good head on your shoulders, and you use it. Maybe you've been called wise for your years. Many famous folks were ahead of their times in high school, and you'll probably be one of them. So keep doing things in your own unique style. You're well on your way to great things. And it might be even better if you have an equally-awesome crush to have fun with along the way!

Dadaanin Ko na Lang sa Kanta...

My friends have the habit of dedicating songs for me these past few days.. here are some of 'em..

Unang Araw
by Sugarfree
(Anna Mitz)

Sadya ba talagang ganyan
Palakad-lakad ka't nakatungo
Sa'n patungo?
Ngayong wala ka na
Kailangang masanay na muling nag-iisa
Sa'n ka na kaya?

'Wag mo akong sisihin
Kung minsan ikay hanapin/kung minsan akong iyakin

Ito ang unang araw na wala ka na
Ito ang unang araw na wala ka na

Nasanay lang sigurong nand'yan ka
'Di ko inakalang pwede kang mawala
'Yan na nga
Nababato, nalulungkot
Luha'y napapawi ng singhot
At talukbong ng kumot
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Fix You
by Cold Play
(Anna Mitz)

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.
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I Love You, Goodbye
by Celine Dion
(PEPE)

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby that's not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love you'll find with me
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, its never gonna work out
I love you, goodbye
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NEW NEWS.

1. When I went home last night, I panicked when I saw quite a number of armed men [aggravating circumstance!] in San Joaquin. They were exactly where I usually take the trike on my way to my house. It turned out that it's a part of this whole "security" thing to find 4 of those Oakwood mutineers who escaped from Fort Bonifacio the night before. I didnt even have the slightest idea 4 of them managed to escape. It made me realize how unaware I am of what's happening outside law school. CHECKPOINT. Nakaka-panic, I really thought there was a dangerous event on the verge of happening and that my life was in danger. I should stop drinking Cafe Americano venti, I'm beginning to be really jumpy.

2. Japhet made an "apparition" last night. He just appeared right before my now "unclear eyes". We spent the night chatting. That's time away my Consti readings. Argh. Mali ito.

3. Japhet and I bumped into Kai [blockmate] with her boyfriend Pao. I'm glad that she's graduating this summer. We told her thatwe saw her friend "THE Anne [Curtis]" at Gram's earlier that night. It turned out that she was meeting her and the rest of her (we assume) village friends. La lang.

4. The other day, AM also made an unexpected some kind of a visit. She was having this "sports day" with her officemates at Power UP. She was the official "cheerer" of her wall-climbing friends. We werent really able to chat that long because I had to go back to Starbucks to read some more for my midterms. But I was happy to see her 'coz it's been a while too.

5. Sam [Sherry Amour], if you're reading this. I HAVE YOUR PLANNER. Get it from me next week since we'll be having our dinner naman during the weekend.

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Ok, aral mode.

Taran Taran!

The need for survival brings out the wackiest ideas. The other day, I was with Hazel and we were waiting for the dinner that she ordered in Good Earth. We were having our usual conversation when we were rudely interrupted by this guy who came from nowhere. He just began to talk about how we can actually be of help to him and his organization. His speech was obviously memorized because he delivered it flawlessly in a disturbing sort of way. He spoke straight, awkward English.

I didnt really get everything he said but I managed to catch what he calls the product that he's endorsing. It's the "TARAN TARAN ballpen". I was so dumbfounded that the only thing I managed to say in retaliation to his interruption was, "Nagjo-joke ka ba?" But in the end, since I'm like my Dad in many many ways, I didnt have the heart to say NO to something which is allegedly for a "Good Cause". My other friends sort of teased me for paying 60 pesos for this amazing taran taran ballpen and even made me realize that for all I know it may not be for a good cause. I just told them that at least my intention was clear and if in fact it's for a good cause then I wouldnt be stopped by a suspicion without any substantial evidence from being a part of it. And of course there's always a catch.. i actually had two reasons why I bought the TARAN TARAN ballpen, the first one's NOBLE because I really wanna help but the second reason was more selfish. It made me laugh. I cracked when I found out what TARAN TARAN means.

The TARAN TARAN Ballpen is not your average ballpen. It has a "secret feature". It has a "PULLOUT CALENDAR". You maybe wondering what TARAN TARAN has got to do with it. Well, the guy illustrated it pretty well. All you have to do is to pullout the calendar in a snappy kind of way and shout with feelings, "TARAN!". Yes, with FEELINGS. Pull and shout. Pull and shout.

Everybody now. [Pull] and shout... TARAN! It really made my night worth it. Astig. Nakatulong na ako, natuwa pa ako. Astig.