SHRINK me Baby One More Time.

We all are shrinks,, we all can give the best goddamn advice to anyone in need. But in the end, we're clueless-- when the situation calls for our expertise and the person in need is the same person that we see staring at us in the mirror. - Jersee

It's funny how the word shrink has fastly become a part of my daily vocabulary. Maybe it's because of my neverending love for Sex and the City, maybe it's because it feels right to say shrink... or maybe, the shrink in me is trying to emerge.

It is easy to say the right words, to do the right things when nothing's at stake. Like if you're just in your room, rehearsing that line you've been dying to tell that guy you've been wanting to ask out. Or when you just picked what you're gonna wear in a normal Monday morning, without thinking of what others might think. Everything's so easy, so natural.

I hate Mondays. I hate that feeling of longing for the next weekend. But i hate weekends, coz weekends remind me of the Monday that's just around the corner. Analyze me.

I dont drink water when i still have food in my mouth. I think it's gross.

I have a thing for gay men. I have a thing for uhmm, allegedly bisexual but really gay men. No, i dont want to be in a relationship with them. i just want them around. How sick is that?

ngarks,, nobody dies in agony,, unless thy get scourged at the pillar, crowned with thorns and gets crucified. - jersee

words of wisdom huh? i didnt mean to be blasphemous. it's just that i think, The Agony in the Garden happened first for a reason. If people feel sad, or pained.. they become vulnerable. They get scourged, crowned with thorns and crucified. It's not really a sign of weakness per se. Jesus did it. It all starts with that tiny feeling of sadness, of longing. We choose to become miserable.

A Certain Sadness. -- i like the title. i like the lyrics. i like the irony. i dunno, sadness is uncertain. i just like that mockery of sadness. a lot of people hesitate when they feel sad. i'm not like them, it is in sadness that i become sure. it is in sadness that i find conviction.

I'M STILL CHASING MY CERTAIN SADNESS.. If happiness leaves me, i know it'll come around. I miss writing. I miss being relevant. I miss profundity. Missing -- longing, not hitting the mark. Dont mind me. You're no shrink anyway.

An Attempt to Be Funny..

Sino ang long-lost sister ni Kitchie Nadal? (Sino?) Edi si Barbie Na Doll! (ngii!)

Speaking of dolls, I once again found myself sipping coffee at the Oz Cafe with my fellow-psycho friends and somehow, our conversations brought us to our childhood booboos. Yeah, we started humiliating ourselves very young. From the "poopoo" stories to our being Little Miss ______ (it varies-- SM, Anito, Barangay...) to childhood sweethearts / flings.

Reality check, we only have one week before we're officially done with our UP days. It'll never be the same again. Err, i think i need another joke.

Anong hayop ang di tinatablan ng bala? (Ano?) Edi Pa-ting, pa-ting. (Ngii)

If this is true, right now i wish i'm a Pa-ting. Sobrang tinatablan ako ng matinding depresyon. I know, it's so not me. But who am i really? Never really got to find out. We're still young, 20? Our whole life's ahead of us. What if it ends tomorrow? Or 5 mins. from now? Hmmmm, another joke.

Anong hayop ang sumasabog? (Ano?) Edi Pa-Goooong! (Ngii!)

I feel like i'm gonna be bursting any moment. I dunno, must be the series of unfortunate events. Kinda feeling insecure, inadequate, unsuccessful. I still dont regret anything, pretty delusional huh? Oh well.. Next Joke.

Eunice Zuleika Monsod

funny? I wish i'm laughin too.

SPOT, LOOK and GLISTEN..

SPOT, LOOK, and GLISTEN :: The Fame Party ::*for the benefit of the UP Economics Society Scholarship Fund and part of the 2005 Oakley Party SeriesMarch 5, 2005 7 PMBig Kahuna, Eastwood City, Libisfeaturing a celebrity auction where you could win a date with TONI GONZAGA and DREW ARELLANO, a studio tour for two at the taping of ABS-CBN's newest sitcom, BORA and so much more only by accumulating points from our party games and boothsalso features an Oakley fashion show, a two-hour open bar, a hip dance party, a vtr audition, a red carpet entrance, and lots of games and surprises..plus, it will be hosted by 99.5 RT's BB Fred together with Eunice Monsod.tickets @ Php 150contact JOEY (09178105976) or LAGS (09184441261) for tickets and inquiries or visit the ECOSOC TAMBAYAN at Room 121, School of Economics, University of the Philippines Diliman, Quezon City- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -UP ECONOMICS SOCIETYService. Excellence. Tradition.

What Are the Chances?

i really think my (and my bestfriends') life's worthy to be the subject of a reality TV show. seriously, the things that happen to us are just so not normal. from the weirdest love interests to the wackiest misadventures. who gets scolded for copying a few lines from Pablo Neruda's poems in a bookstore? who forgets to pay for the things she ordered? who trips while crossing a busy intersection? who hooks up with a warlock? who gets infatuated with a writer she never really got to know? who calls the radio station daily to just "share" her thoughts? who joins radio contests, wins them and never claims her prizes? who gets stuck in an elevator? who goes elevator-hopping? who meets a publisher and helps her? who dates a blue-eyed guy that's not caucasian? who wears really seductive clothes and never makes out and never had sex? who auditions to become a Y speak Correspondent? who takes up Economics and Law to become a star? who wears stilettos everyday? who wears stilettos, mini skirts and commutes all at the same time? ME.. What are the chances?!

The Performers in US..

ewww! are you sure you think you're all that?

someday, My Prince will come..

used to the old times, the best of new times, used to the song of glee... hahaa,,

happy, lalalalala..

whaaaaaaaaat?

whatever happened to forever?

no, i wont kiss you.

Surreal But Nice..

i've been smiling the whole day. something kinda surreal happened to me. well, it all started when i rode an Fx to Crossing United. there was a kinda-old lady beside me, she seemed unsure of where to go. then , she asked me if there's a bus that can bring her to araneta in crossing. i said yes, but i innocently suggested that she might as well take the MRT since it's faster and safer. at first she wasnt sure if she wants to, but in the end i think i convinced her. i told her that it's where im going so she can go with me. i accompanied her until she finally got to the Araneta Center/ Cuabo station. it was like the normal thing to do (in my opinion) since it's not really that big of an inconvenience. i was really touched when she called me "Anak" (child) and when she said that because of me, she believes that Filipinos still have values. when she gave me her business card, i read that she's a publisher and writer! i was overwhelmed.. and she told me that in case i need help, i should just contact her. the last part was the most surreal part, she asked what my full name is and said.. "i will write a story about this, about you." it's enough for me to feel good the whole day. i didnt expect her to make a big thing out of a natural thing. im so happy i helped her, and im happier that she appreciated it.

--Thank You Mrs. Sebastian, i hope to see you around.

UP Fair 2005.. first time.. last time?

We are pink goths. whatever that means... this may sound a li'l weird, but this is my first "Fair experience" in my 4 years as an Iskolar ng Bayan. t'was fun. let the pictures show u.

hmm, my breasts are almost bigger than ces's head. creepy!

me and equally gorgeous Mage..

A Letter to YOU Who Havent Come..

Hey, I dunno what you’re doing right now.
You maybe drinking coffee or watchin TV or listenin to the radio like me,
you maybe on the other side of the world, working, or reading a good book, or partying or looking at the bitter emptiness of your wall.
I dunno if we met, I dunno if we at least already caught a glimpse of each other.
I dunno if somehow we have influenced the things that are happening to both of us.
I don’t even know if you exist, I don’t know if you know that I exist.
All I know is that I’m waiting, consciously and unconsciously.
I’ve been anticipating that time when you will finally stop being an invisible entity in my life.
You make me smile, just the thought of you breathing the same air that I breathe,
drinking the water that I drink and staring at the same sky that I’m staring at.
You make me weep, thinking of how far you maybe from me or
of how near you are physically but infinitely far from a possible emotional intimacy.
You make me worry thinking of the bad things that might befall you now,
at this time when I can’t be there,
when I cant give you that reassuring look that things will eventually be ok.
You make me think, and in this process all I can do is give in to my imagination
and find optimism in this feeling of longing.
I’ve been in this journey for years now,
along the way I’ve met people whom I thought was you.
They resemble you, or maybe you resemble them.
I can never be sure,
‘coz you are just something intangible that I’ve been trying to hold on to and to keep.
I wont get tired of waiting,
because I know that in that one moment where we will recognize that we belong to each other,
all the grief and the tears will be like diamonds that would make our love glisten.
I’m not looking forward to a perfect life with you,
but I’m looking forward to a bumpy ride with you around.
If finally we meet, don’t look at me in the eyes too long,
I might get lost in the abyss of that magic that we will be entwined with.
Just hug me, and I know I will hug you back.
Don’t kiss me yet, coz your lips might make my lips tremble.
Just smile at me and I will smile back.
Go on with your journey still, we shall meet..
when that time comes we shall be one.

Emode Mode.. Test Results and Insults.. haha

Eunice, you like Mischievous meetings

A foreign affair with an exotic stranger. A surprise weekend getaway with your long-time love. These are the fantasies that fill your daydreams. When it comes to romance, your imagination and sense of adventure are in the driver's seat. You have a zest for life that welcomes spontaneity with open arms, and you look for a partner who has the wit and wiles to keep up with you...or to lead the way, as long as you're tripping the light fantastic together.While you love mystery and mischief in your romantic encounters, you're also not afraid to make a commitment to someone. You just make sure that keeping it interesting, passionate, and fun are high on their agendas, too. And that doesn't sound mischievous to us at all.

----this is so me.. i have nothing more to say.

Eunice, you're a dating don't when it comes to Attitude

Sure, sarcasm is funny. But negativity and pessimism can get downright annoying. After all, everyone's had their bad breakups and heartbreaks. So if you're hung up on the past, send that baggage on a one-way trip to nowhere and look to the future and all the hotties out there.It's time to start meeting people. Tell your friends you're ready to date and accept invites to anything from a book reading to a baseball game to the ballet. Follow your interests, take classes, hit the gym, hang out in your local café, or get on the Internet. Instead of wasting your time with negative thoughts, get out there and do something — even if it's just going grocery shopping. And don't forget to bring a pen and paper!

Eunice, your sexual personality is Omega-ETDN-9.

Your sexual personality is determined by your sexual persona (Omega), 4 sexual scales (Emotional/Physical, Look/Touch, Daring/Modest, Verbal/Non-verbal), and your libido score (9). As an Omega, you are someone who feels sexy, looks sexy, and really knows the ropes when it comes to lovemaking. Your sex appeal is more overt than others and your sexual confidence and awareness are particularly high.

Eunice, you follow your heart when it comes to success

You're an impassioned individual who just can't suppress your ideals. You've got a strong sense of right and wrong, and want to let people know when they've crossed the line. Sure, there are times when you sit back to hear both sides of an argument. But people had better stay out of the way when your fiery passions take hold.But just because you can be a bit of a rebel with a cause, it doesn't mean you're incapable of being understanding and compassionate. It's because you're so invested in your ideas and interests that you can work so tirelessly toward your goals and speak up for what you believe in. So keep pouring your heart into it. With conviction like yours, you're sure to succeed!

Future school, future workplace..

Oh well, I’m technically employed. I went to Makati last Monday to get my application form for Ateneo Law and to take the exam that I had to take for an alleged job opportunity at People Support. Had to pay 1,200 for the Ateneo Law application form per se, talk about the pressure to pass the entrance exam. Haha..

I arrived at the Robinson’s Summit before 2:30pm and I was expecting to have it done by around 4.. the whole process was time-consuming. I didn’t really have a hard time, no I’m not bragging but I know for a fact that my knowledge with respect to grammar isn’t average so I’m not surprised when I passed their exams. I found out that my typing speed’s 57 words per minute, and the ideal speed’s 30 words per minute, yihee! =) so there, they were ready to employ me when I told them that I’m still studying and that I have to go to school every Tuesday and Friday. The interviewer asked me if I can start right away and I had to be honest with my answer, I said no. so the next was also predictable, they asked me when would be the soonest date that I could start and I said it’ll most probably be this March. They said they’ll be expecting my call by then and that they’d check on me once in a while to know if I can be a part of their labor force already. Man, I was flattered.. I mean, they’re willing to wait. I wanna work but there’s something that’s stopping me to work in this particular workplace.



A man of my past is working there, he’s a supervisor trainee in People Support. Don’t get me wrong, we’re good friends now, but I dunno if I can handle being around him. I mean, we did have a past right? Plus, if his new girl’s there then it might become a problem not only for me but also for him. I don’t wanna be a cause of a fight. I know, it’s too assuming of me but I’m just looking at possibilities here.



‘Til March, I would have to look for another workplace, because quite frankly, I want my first official job to be something that I can look forward to and I can reminisce about after a few years. I don’t have anything against People Support, I checked their company’s background and I must say I’m impressed but I don’t have to put an end to my job hunt. After all, I want my decision to be something I won’t regret.

Losing Focus

I think I didn’t do well in my Econ 161 exam and I don’t have anyone else to blame but myself. My thesis, it’s not progressing the way I envisioned it to be. I need two recommendation letters and I don’t think I’ll get one from my Econ professors, I’m afraid I didn’t allow them to get to know the real me so they can’t really give justification to my qualifications. Things are piling up, I feel really bad. Not even a cup of coffee can cheer me up so I did what a sad gal would normally do. Curled up in my bed and watched Sex and the City reruns. I miss Carrie Bradshaw, I miss Samantha Jones, Miranda Hobbes and Charlotte York.. I miss Steve, Harry, Big, Aidan, Jack Berger, Stanford. I miss SEX and the CITY. And you can sense that it didn’t really cheer me up.

I guess nothing can cheer me up. I fixed my new pc, I finally got the modem to function so I’m using my new PC to connect to the internet for the first time. Still, it’s not cheering me up. I guess it’s loneliness that’s really killing me. It’s February after all.