It's Weird.

I'm in the library, waiting for my friends who just watched a flick in Market Market. I dont know, but i think im not used to not doing anything anymore. I was watching Kiko type his paper and instead of relaxing, i found myself reading Fr. B's new Primer. I had to stop myself because well, i vowed to relax after i finish the freaggin' paper.

How do you explain to people that you know that you've changed and that whether they like it or not, they would have to deal with the real you? I bumped into a highschool friend on my way to Ateneo and well, she hasn't changed a bit. I mean, i dont see anything wrong with that, but it just made me realize how much i've changed through the years. Whether it's intentional or not, I am not the Eunice that I was years ago, heck im not the Eunice that I was even a year ago.

My sister said, "Nasan na un Eunice na kilala ko dati?" That's after I slipped into my pants and shirt. She's kind of vocal about the fact that she admired my guts with regard to my fashion sense. It's sorta hard for me to tell her, that I kind of lost that passion for fashion. I just wake up everyday, not event thinkin of what i'll wear anymore, not because i dont want to look beautiful but because I dont have time. Or maybe because I feel guilty. It's like I get reminded of the "more important" things that i feel guilty when i begin to be vain again.

This got me into thinkin of that episode in Sex and the City where Carrie was pissed because her married friend was accusing her of being shallow just because she refused to let go of the issue of her shoes being stolen in her friend's apartment. I mean, who are we to judge what is shallow or what is profound? That is something i have to remind myself again. If looking good makes me happy, i have to start looking good again.

Oh well. That's why I'm wearin my white mini skirt and my spags today. Because I want the old me to be with the new, mature me. I'm smiling. I have a new shoulder bag. Yes, fortunately, THAT MAKES ME HAPPY.