The Spirit of Christmas

This year, i learned not to look for the spirit of christmas. I came to realize that WE must make it happen. It mirrors what we do and what we feel as we celebrate life. The whole month, I whined about how I still cannot feel the Christmas Spirit amidst all the beautiful things that I'm surrounded with. It was a month-long quest for getting in the mood and finding the things that'll make me smile. All of a sudden, I found myself hating the fact that there are a lot of people shopping and that i am LITERALLY bumping into them, i even winced at the idea of people getting together talking about how Christmas makes everyone all giggly, considerate and well, happy. For a time, I wasnt convinced.

We must admit, Christmas is a big neon sign that reminds us of the things that we lack. We look around and see our inadequacies parading all over our faces. It's a holiday that's persistent and at times, annoying. You cannot tell people to bug off and cannot even find it in your heart to say that you want to be alone. You don't do that because even if THAT will make you feel better, you will receive looks of pity and well, of disgust. You are not supposed to be alone on Christmas Dat. Nah. That's too sad. Even if that's what you want. You are supposed to hug people, talk to them about the things you've accomplished so far (yeah, and it continues until the New Year) and open gifts which, chances are, not the gifts you expect (unless you gave everyone a wishlist and made it clear that you are not gonna accept anything outside your wishlist). Still, after all the gift-giving and the human warmth, you still know that you lack something.

Whether it's something tangible (i.e. iron curler) or intangible (i.e. human warmth), you know that Christmas makes you CRAVE. Maybe it's the true spirit of christmas, to CRAVE for something. After all, cravings aren't always on the negative side. Cravings may give rise to your wanting to become a better person, aiming to finally let go of the infatuation you've been nursing for that (INSERT APPROPRIATE ADJECTIVE) guy  or looking at your least favorite professor in a different light or... just deciding that you've had enough sad moments and you want to be happy -- again -- just like before. That, my friends, is the true spirit of Christmas.

Or am I talking about the New Year? Now I'm confused.