(Background Music: You're so Vain)
Eunice: Im so glad you guys came. I guess it just means we're all good friends now.
Moaner: So, I can I call you tonight and you'll listen to me moan? [Evil grin]
Eunice: Uhmm, ok but only because we're friends now. [sighs]
Freak: How come he gets to moan and I dont get to kiss you like Penelope Cruz in Vanilla Sky? [pouts]
Eunice: because you're not Brad Pitt.
Freak: But I can kiss like him.
Eunice: (tries to smile) You wish. I dont think so. Friends dont kiss Freak.
Bluey: Hey Angel, wanna watch a flick this weekend?
Eunice: You promise to not hug me and walang subuan na mangyayari? (taas kilay)
Angel: Subuan? Anong subuan ito.
Eunice: (rolls her eyes) ng popcorn. Ano ka ba, alam mo naman na i'm not into sex!
Angel: You're not?
Artsy: No wonder you didnt want me to take you home. (tampong pururot) Ang gentleman ko pa naman nun. Ano ba ang nangyari? We had a great night naman a?!
Angel: Take her home?
Eunice: Ihahatid nya ko. Not "take me home" take me home. Ano ba yan. And Artsy, you didnt call me agad. I thought you weren't interested.
Bestfriend: Best, E kung maging fuck buddies na lang tayo? Bestfriend naman kita e.
Eunice: E kung suntukin kita? I said it's ok to go find your fuck buddy but i didnt say I can be your fubu. I'm not into sex sabi e!
Freak: You're not? Noooooooooooooooo. (drama)
Moaner: How am i supposed to moan now that I know you're not into sex. (Nagdabog pa)
Eunice: It's also my problem?
Kiero: Well, well, well. It seems like there's a "kaguluhan" here.
Eunice: (laglag ang panga, laglag ang panty) Damn he still looks great. Oh, hi Kiero. How've you been?
Kiero: Never better. I became a better man when you decided to leave me.
Bluey: Me too.
Eunice: (fake laugh) Good. That's what I wanted. Shit.
Basketbolista: Wassup wassup guys?
Eunice: Maluwag parin ang damit mo.
Basketbolista: Patay na patay ka nga sakin e.
Eunice: I was insane at that time. Give me back my letter. At i didnt even invite you!
Basketbolista: You didnt, but he did. (turo kay TooGayToFuncion)
TooGay: Hi there sweetie. It's been a long time since we last bowled.
Eunice: Uhmm, because you were hanging out with your guys in Malate remember?
TooGay: Darling, we had good times. We had good times.
Eunice: Of course. We practically spent our days shopping.
Moaner: Hey, that turns me on.
Eunice: What?
Moaner: That thing you do.
Eunice: What did I do?
Moaner: Never mind.
Artsy: Nga pala, nagkakilala kami ni Vin.
Eunice: Vin? As in my Vin? That guy from CSB?
Artsy: Yeah. He died.
Eunice: Buti na lang di naging kami. Sabi ko na nga ba maaga mamamatay un kakaworkout e.
Artsy: Mala-Eddie Guerrero ba?
Eunice: Pucha, feeling ko bubugbugin ako in the future. Pero yummy. Kamukha nga ni Vin Diesel. Karerista pa.
Artsy: Magaling naman ako a.
Angel: Magaling?! Eunice?
Eunice: Duh Angel. Lumabas ka na ng seminaryo kaya wag ka na magpaka-moral jan. Magaling sya, magsulat, magdala ng conversation at magmartial arts.
Angel: Bakit ba kasi ganyan kayo magsalita?
Eunice: It's not us dear. It's the way you think.
Bluey and Kiero: Nagsalita.
Eunice: Excusez moi?
Kiero: Can I just say that I still dont get the way you think?
Eunice: ANd you never will.
Bluey: See? Ayan ka nanaman. Nagpapaka-vague.
Eunice: We're supposed to be having fun diba? Akala ko ba we're all friends na.
TooGay: And friends don't argue? Sweetie, you should know better.
Eunice: Fine fine.
Basketbolista: So, sino sa amin ang pinakaminahal mo? ehem...
Eunice: Wala.
Bestfriend: What do you mean wala?!
Eunice: I dont think I have loved anyone yet.
TooGay: Stir.
Moaner: I'm sure ako un. I know how to turn you on baby.
Bestfriend: Ako, I know and understand you.
Artsy: Ha? We had a few dates and they were all sooo fine.
Bluey: Nagsubuan tayo!
(tingin lahat)
Eunice: ng popcorn. (whispers)
Angel: You were crushing on me since gradeschool.
Freak: I know you love me. can read your mind.
Kiero: I am perfect. Need I say more?
TooGay: Please wag na ako. I'm not interested. The only reason why I came is because I know there will be a lot of men. DI mo ko binigo Eunice.
Eunice: Nobody loved me.
ALL: We did!
Eunice: I didnt feel it. Party's over. (buhos ng sand sa bonfire) I take it back. We're all not friends anymore.
Moan: So cant call and moan anymore?
Eunice: Fuck off.
Artsy: Hatid na kita.
Kiero: Not again. You're running away from me again. What's the matter with you?
Eunice: AAAAAAAAAH! This is a mistake. I dont want you guys to haunt me again. Ever.
TooGay: Ay nagkrung krung ang lola mo.
Eunice: Bakla.
TooGay: Low blow. Pero I like.
Eunice: ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH!
(background music: Bang Bang from Kill Bill)(naglabas ng baril, pinagbabaril lahat ng nasa-party)
Eunice: Now I can go party. Hay salamat. It's over. Hubad ng sarong to expose her skimpy bikini. Now I can go get me my man. (psycho laugh)
(Background Music: I'm Every Woman)
-----------------Characters:
Eunice: ako un. oo ako.
Angel: gradeschool-highscool crush
Bluey: moviebuddy
Freak: the warlock
TooGay: kelangan pa ba ipaliwanag?
Basketbolista: The lucky guy whom i made the 8-page letter for
Artsy: talentadong bata
Moaner: Cutie boy next door / horny
Kiero: perfect guy [not my type]
No comments:
Post a Comment