KABABAWAN

Friend1: [re: kawalan ng boyfriend] Kaya ako sinabi ko na talaga, Let Go and Let God...
Euns: Pero Lord, LET ME naman. Let me be the one.
Friend1: Mag-Manaoag kaya tayo? Feeling ko talaga piangdadasal ng Mom ko na wag ako magka-boyfriend.
Friend2: Basta ako, pinagdadasal ko na sana Friend 1, mahalin ka na ni ____ at ikaw Euns, na magkatuluyan na kayo nun lalaki na alam naman nating pinakabagay sayo at minahal mo.
Euns: AYOKO NA SA KANYA!! Bawiin mo, bawiin mo! [Knock on wood]
Friend2: Fine, kahit di na lang sya.
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Ang point, araw-araw na lang umiinom. Alcoholism na ito.
Special participation pa si Mage at Lorah na dalawang beses ko na nakasama sa Rockwell ngayong linggong ito. Si Mage na sobrang controversial pa ang pagpapakilala sa mga batchmates ko.

Tapos na ang maliligayang araw namin next week. Nabanggit pa ni Diale na may thesis defense schedule na raw. [Di pa nakapost, wag tayo mag-panic]

Para sa lahat ng mga candidates sa election today, GOOD LUCK.

Para sa aking SC / TC [semi-crush/ throwing capability], "Mahal kita". *looks at Diale and Ces for the inside joke*

Para kay HEKHEK Boy, lamig lang. Wag ka naman manakot. *once again looks at Ces*

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I watched The Bodyguard as soon as I got home kanina [Btw, I haven't slept, good job] and the only thing that kept me from turning it off is the fact that Kevin Costner was INDEED HOT in that movie. My quote for the day:

"Everyone's afraid of something, that's how you know you care about things, when you're afraid you'll lose them"

- The Bodyguard

Winner.

Happy Sunday

I'm ready to love [lose?] everything because I've found the people worth falling with.

Grabbed from Patty

A quote from The Holiday that just pierced its way to my heart.

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade. "

- Iris

Breakups are hard but that interim period between the breakup and finding someone new is the hardest. This is when you have all the time to think, analyze things... it is in this period that you feel you are at your weakest because there is no one to love and no one who loves you. You do a lot of good things, some silly things until in the end , you realize what you have known the whole time, it was a mere inkling... something you refused to accept and notice.

You can be happy. You will be. Only then will you finally be free.

UPDATES

As expected, I got called to recite for my Special Cases in Business Law class today. The only EO that I wasn't able to get a copy of turned out to be the most important document in my recit. But I wasn't suprised, I should've seen that coming knowing how fate has always managed to create a spoof out of my life. Anyway, if there is one thing I am good in, it's being able to make anyone smile and my professor wasn't an exception.

Prof: So, what are these regular holidays?
Euns: [enumerates] Blah,blah... Bonifacio day.. blah blah... Rizal Day.
Prof: Do we have an Aguinaldo day?
Euns: No, we don't have an Aguinaldo day sir
Prof: Are you sure?
Euns: Yes sir.
Prof: Why?
Euns: I think it's political. [Whether we admit it or not, we chose to side with Bonfiacio when the Katipunan "drifted apart"]
Prof: So we don't have an Aguinaldo Day?
Euns: No, but we can always get Aguinaldo during Christmas season from our ninongs and ninangs.
[Class and Prof laughs]
-----------------------

So one of my friends had an "episode" and we ended up hanging out at another friend's dorm.We were doing our thing [without alcohol and yosi, I am so proud of us] and this conversation happened.

Friend 1: So Friend 2, how's your boylet?
Friend 2: Ayun, tulog. Bwisit, tinulugan ako.
Euns: Friend 3, baka kailangan mo magtanong sa boylet ni Friend 2 kung paano makatulog.
Friend 3: Oo nga no. Friend 2, baka naman pwede nya ako mabigyan ng tips... [isip] Baka naman nakatulog sya kasi ka-text ka... Magtext-text na lang tayo mamaya.
Euns: Winner.

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We have a "MOCK NATIONAL ELECTIONS" coming up for POLI LAW REVIEW. I am so happy with my partymates. We call ourselves the BIRTHDAY PARTY. Yes, we're crazy. Who isn't right?

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Speaking of crazy, never mind.

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I have a new semi-crush. He's uhmm, yummy. I loooooove looking at him while pretending to be nonchalant of his presence. If only he's in my league.

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Someone stole my newly-bought creamer for the LSAC. With the container and all. MAGKA-DIARRHEA KA SANA.

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Last na, I know I declared that it is hekhek time, it's just that with all the hekhekan happening around me, I am enjoying being the "audience". But just like what I said earlier, I have a new semi-crush. Ang hot kasi e.

Imposible?!! !#@$#($*!!!

Ate [kasama naglinis ng LSAC]: E siguro ikaw ma'am marami ka boyfriend. Mukha ka naman masaya, imposibleng wala kang lovelife!
Euns:Hay naku Ate, kailangan mo sabihin yan sa mga gusto ko lalaki. Imposible? Wala nga e, Sa tinagal-tagal ko dito sa law school wala man lang ako nakuha.
Ate:Bakit naman?
Euns: [nagsalansan na lang ng mga libro]
Ang masabi ko lang, Congrats Euns. Kung susundin ang sinabi ni Ate, You have done the impossible.Good job.
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Kagabi uminom kami, humekhek ang mga tao at ako? Ayun, uminom. Wala man lang nahekhek. Game na talga, ilabas na yang mga dates na yan.
Pero gaya nga ng sinabi ni Mel, "Malakas lang ang loob mo pag wala dito e."
Shet.Kung di lang thesis maganda sanang pang-hekhek ang French Film Festival because I LOVE EVERYTHING THAT IS FRENCH. At knowing the people who know me, isang french lang ang maiisip nila...
.........
FRENCH ...
........
FRIES.
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Ces: [blahblahblah]
Euns: Oo nga e, blahblahblah... Teka sabi ko na nga ba may gusto sakin si ________ eh!
Ces: Putang ina, san naman nanggaling un?
Euns: Wala lang. Naisip ko lang. Sorry walang kinalaman.
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Sabi nila ang mga jokes raw ay half-meant. Ibig sabihin pag dalawang beses na inulit, meant na ito. Hence, HEKHEK. Kasi kung HEK lang, half meant lang. Pero bakit HEKHEK? Ano ba ang etymology? Ang naisip ko lang kasi parang hickey [ganito ba spelling nun?] so ibig sabihin, may landian involved. Hindi ka naman accidentally na nas-suck sa mga parte ng katawan mo diba? Unless ang love life mo ay isang dikya o kuhol o suso.
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Ang haba na pala ng entry. Kasi naman pag nasa Starbucks ka at malakas ang ulan, maaalala mo ang mga panahon na di ka natatakot maglakadlakad kasi may naghahawak ng payong para sa'yo. May sumasama sa ilalim ng payong kasama mo at kung mabasa man kayo...
May matatawa kasama mo.
I should stop blogging, mumomotmot nanaman ito.
Pero last na. Kagabi, may nagsabi na masaya ang maging single. Ang sinabi ko? May certain period lang. After ng prescriptive period, masaya na lang maging single pag...
....
HUMEHEKHEK at HINEHEKHEK ka.
----- THE END ------

Dahil thesis really is it...

... masaya na ako. Kahit barely decent ang thesis at halos lahat ng tao ay tumatango lang when I talk about my topic, alam ko na deep inside they want me to fly!
... ito na ang huling linggo na papariwara ako at mag-aabsent sa aking mga electives.
... ready na ako humekhek.
... di ko na ipagpipilitan na maghubad ang mga tao.
... iinom na uli ako ng mas madalas.
... makakapag-aral na ako ng totoo, for the bar.
... di na ako maiiwan mag-isa sa Starbucks haban gnagc-cram a few hourse before the set deadline.
... nalinis ko na finally ang LSAC at mukha na sya activity center ng mga tao.
... nakakapag-blog na ako ulit ng di motmot.
... handa na ako magmahal.
Yun o!

SHE is HER

She didn't need to hear that. She smiled, dismissing something that probably will bother her for a long time. She is too exhausted to explain, to justify the things she did and did not do. She changed the topic and told herself, "I will show you what I'm made of." She vowed never to be weak, never to admit that her life is a total mess made worse by the responsibility to be her. It's never easy to be "HER". It is like living through a fantasy that she doesn't even want to impose upon herself.

She moves around, smiling, laughing, making people smile, making people laugh. She walks with a skip following a rhythm that is meant to make everyone believe that she is perfectly fine. She accepts the offered words of sympathy, she listens to impressions, expressions, depressions, suggestions. She is praised, postively reinforced, assured that she will be fine. She is criticized to her face, behind her back, through direct statements, side comments and sarcasm masked by jokes that are meant.

She entertains, makes fun of situations at times, of herself most of the time. She doesn't walk, she struts, afraid that if she walks slowly, her bluff will be called. She looks straightly at you through her bigger than life shades, faking self confidence, majesty, royalty.

Her smile is the frame for the tear-painted canvass discreetly mounted in her eyes. Her laughter is the beautifully arranged composition of her unheeded calls for help. Her strut is her version of how she has been wanting to walk away. Her stories are her distorted dreams. Her noise is her concealed craving for silence.
She is more than what you see, what you hear, what you feel. She is her. She's human. She not only bleeds, she gets scarred.

THESIS FINAL DRAFT SPECS

FOR YOUR FINAL DRAFTS DUE ON 27 JUNE 2008, FRIDAY:

1. FONT : ARIAL OR TIMES NEW ROMAN

FONT SIZE : 12

SPACING : DOUBLE

MARGIN : 1 INCH MARGIN ON ALL SIDES

2. SUBMIT FOUR (4) (RING BOUND) COPIES

3. SUBMIT WITH THE ADVISER'S FINAL APPROVAL FORM (i forgot the exact term.)

These requirements are as posted in the thesis board, ground floor.

KAMPON NG KADILIMAN

Ryan: Kamusta ang love life?
Eunice: Non-existent parin.
Ryan: Bakit nga ba di na lang kayo ni _____?
Eunice: AYOKO NA SYA!!!
[literal na nag-flicker ang lights sa starbucks]
Ryan: Hala.
Eunice: Anak yata ako ng dilim.
Ryan: Maligno.

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Ryan: Bakit nga di na kayo pwede ni ___?
Euns: Kasi Lobo ako...
Ryan: Luna sya.
Euns: Ang jologs natin.

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[habang naghahanda ako going to school, nakababa ang aking bangs]
Dad: Ayos a, walang sinabi si Haidee Yorac.

Want to Help?

The Ateneo Law Student Council would like to inform everyone that we are accepting donations for typhoon victimes and their families. Please bring rice, canned goods, clothes or anything that you feel can help. We will be accepting donations starting today, June 24, 2008 at the small LSAC room. Thank you in advance for your help.

Please pass.

Lolo Kit

I haven’t been talking about it, I even went to school the day I found out. People were asking if we expected it, my answer was that well, it crossed our minds, but to say that we expected it, for me, would be an admission that we have given up when in fact, we didn’t. I didn’t. Until the end, I was optimistic about it, thinking that someone so good, well-loved and pure will not be taken away from a world that is desperately in need of someone to whom it can look up to. My Lolo was just that.

If I will be compelled to describe him in one word, I will describe him to be CONTENTED. He wanted things, he appreciated their beauty but he was genuinely happy with what he had. He was that welcoming smile every time we will visit them in Navotas. I had the privilege of living with him a few years when I was still a kid, I must admit that I didn’t have a lot of memories. I can only describe him through what my young mind can remember at that time. The smell of his pillow is still vivid. The smell that was caused by his “pomade” reminds me of that time when I would sleep in lolo’s and lola’s room for siesta. I can vividly remember how he would curse and not mean it, how it was an empty utterance for him that would have to accompany his words to emphasize his point. He was the quiet and reserved one, he wouldn’t talk unless you talk to him first. But when you start talking to him, he’ll be more than glad to entertain you with his own stories. In our visits to Navotas, I would always hear my Lolo talk about the people that he used to help. He did simple things that have big effects on people. I wouldn’t be surprised if people we don’t even know are also grieving for his death.

I had to find out about his death the worst possible way, it was like Lolo didn’t want us to wake up at five in the morning [time of his death]. In the oddest of moments, all of our phones were being charged and were turned off. It was only when it was already nine in the morning that we received the news. I was awakened by my Mom’s scream of grief and disbelief. I rushed to her and I knew. It was a cry that was meant for the saddest of moments. My Mom was repeatedly saying, “Ang Daddy… ang Daddy.” I felt numb, I couldn’t cry because I knew my mom needed me to be strong. While my Dad was hugging her, whispering words of encouragement that I know will never comfort her at that time, my heart was literally breaking. I called my Tito and asked where we should go for the wake. I felt pain, anger and emptiness. I silently prayed and asked God to be with my Mom and Lola. If I am feeling all these things, it will be incomparable to what they would be feeling. When everyone left, and I was alone at home, strength escaped me. I crawled back to bed to cry. I kept saying, “Lolo… lolo” as if it could convince God to give him back to us.

If there is one thing I regret, it will be that I wasn’t able to spend more time with my Lolo in his last days. It seemed like I wasn’t meant to grieve, a lot of things were happening, school started, I have my thesis to take care of, events to attend to and this, arguably, is my busiest year yet. It could be that it was meant to be that way, because if I wasn’t doing a lot of things, I don’t know if I could’ve survived with a lot of time to think and reflect on his death. My Lolo even saved me a lot of times last week. I knew. I couldn’t be more thankful.

Lola Seng told me that Lolo Kit was so proud of me when he was alive. He would always tell people that his apo will become a lawyer soon. It still pains me to think that he wouldn’t be there when I finally become a lawyer. He would’ve been so happy. While I was saying goodbye to him last Sunday, I promised him that I will be the best that I can be for him. I wouldn’t let him down. He can brag about me to Jesus.

I don’t really believe in goodbyes, as cliché sounding as it may sound, I know that my Lolo and I will see each other again. In the meantime, I can close my eyes and remember the smell of his pomada, hear how he would curse to stress a point, see his smile and the way he would lay contently on his tumba-tumba, relive how he would excitedly open the gate for us and ask, “Kamusta?”

Lolo Kit, kami na ang bahala. Relax ka na lang dyan kasama ni God. Di mo na kailangan tumaya sa Lotto, pwede mo na itanong kay God kung ano ang tatamang numero...