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from POSTSECRET

Of Sorry and its Synonyms

"Bakit ba lagi na lang ang buhay mo punong-puno ng drama? Di ka parin ba
nagbabago? Kahit dati, ganyan ka na!" -Sam

I am at a loss for words. If tears can say everything that's needed to be said, I would've already written a novel. It's a blessing that my eyes go back to normal after an intense crying session because if I'm normal, my eyes will be puffier than cotton candy. It's hard to grasp the whole situation, there's no place for hatred, not even for blame... and it's making it way harder to cope. How can you mend a wound that was inflicted upon you unintentionally? How can you not take personally something that in reality is personal? It pains me that we are in this whole situation with nothing to do but wait for things to be better in the future.

In the meantime, I am constantly reminded of how blessed I am with friends who are always ready to cheer me up when I'm the unstable woman that I am. Thanks for the muffins Joan, thanks for the Belgian Waffle Sam, thank you for being strong for me Patty, thank you Hazel for feeling my pain, to Melo and Juanch for making me believe in love [walang kinalaman e no! hehe], to Ces for making me understand what happened and for convincing me about Lost Boy [wala nanaman kinalaman], to Ana for that heartwarming message, to Carlo for chain smoking with me and for reminding me to stop crying, to Dennis for asking if I'm ok [even if it was his birthday and we should be making him happy], to you for at least saying sorry.

Sometimes, the people whom you expect to hurt you end up standing by you and making you feel loved and the people whom you have so much faith in end up hurting you, though unintentionally... in the end, they still hurt you. I guess it's partly because they matter in your life that whatever they do becomes that big of a deal. Perhaps it's because you love them so much that in the end, you can't find it in your heart to hate them so you end up just letting it pass, like it didn't happen at all. That's what friends do right? Like what I've said in the past, I don't let go.. even if I bleed so badly, I won't let go.

I hate walking around all teary-eyed like a loser puppy. I hate it when people perceive me as sad. That is something that I as much as possible try to avoid, affecting other people negatively. That is so not me. But I guess it's true, sometimes life throws a curveball at you and well, all that's left for you to do is say sorry because the curveball turned out to be more than that. It turned out to be one viscious ball of pain. And it wasn't life that threw it at you, it was someone.

I'm sorry too... I am worrying that it might burden you. Finals pa naman, wag ka na masyado mag-isip. I'll be fine. We'll be fine. I am still trying to understand . At oo, sana madapa na uli ako kasama ka. In the meantime, I'll see you around.

Rain on my Parade, Procession and Every Li'l Sunshine

Kanina lang there was nothing to write about... it's amazing how one minute I was raving about how normal my life finally is, only to be laughed at by fate and now, I am a big joke. Again. It not only pisses me off but it's making me cry. It's so uhmm, stupid... it's so petty but the situation makes me emotionally unstable. TOTALLY. That's without him even trying, without him ever feeling even a bit of what I'm feeling. I needed to get away from there just so I can stop myself from making a fool out of myself. I can't accuse anyone of being insensitive because well, I don't deserve to be taken into consideration. And it all the more pisses me off.

Side kwento na lang to make me feel a bit better, I was crossing the street from Block 9 to Ateneo and was waiting for the cars to pass by when this car stopped and made me cross.. I thought, "Ang hot ko naman, tumitigil sya kahit may karapatan sya na mag-go..." Un pala, si RC un. May kawayan blues pa kami. Laughtrip.

Anyway, to add insult to the injury, I found out that CLV shuffled our class cards... So, there is a big possibility that I got called in class today. And I was at Starbucks, studying Civ Pro for the finals. Great. Ano pa ba ang darating?

Hay, buti na lang Shem's online. I ranted and ranted and ranted. Then she had to give me the jealousy-inducing news, SHE'S OFF TO EUROPE today. Great. And I'm stuck here in Manila, with an internship that's yet to be finalized, and a lot of other un-fun stuff to do. Saya.

I'll be probably be meeting up with Sam later around 6pm. I hope we can sort of catch up, it's been a while since I last saw that ass.

I'm thinking of going back to Starbucks to continue my interrupted studying streak. I hope and pray to God that I get in the mood again. Linshak talaga o. I read pa this article about Ali Sotto and her second husband who writes poems for her. I read some of the poems and and it broke my heart that I have no one to write similar poems for, and no one to write poems for me. Sige, depression kill me softly. Salamat ha.

Minsan talaga nagbabalak na ako maglayas sa bwisit na Neverland na yan e. Sinasaktan lang ako. Lalo na yang tinkerbell na yan. Isama mo pa yang si Lost Boy. Maghahanap na nga lang ako ng crocodile...

Carlo: Wala pa ba crocodile sa Neverland mo?
Eunice: Sige maghahanap na ako.
Carlo: Astig un si Crocodile, may clock na sya at maganda un tagline nya.
Eunice: Ano?
Carlo: ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

Things are Back to "NORMAL"

... and normal in my life is synonymous to abnormal. Now I'm confused. hehe

Well, keri na. Finals Week is fast-approaching and as much as I wanna go on a three-day leave, I don't think I can afford to bum around... especially if I have a lot of "FIRST READINGS" to finish. I do not have a lot of things to write about, simply because my life's pretty stable and the only exciting thing that happens to me is when I go to Starbucks to study...

Yeah, and the short interactions I have with the characters in my Neverland. It gets sorta boring too, it's not as exciting as before and it can be attributed to the fact that in reality, I don't think they're really interested. No, I'm not going into my self-pity mode, all I'm saying is that sometimes, it gets tiring to get excited about something that's not really worth being excited about.

Kaya kung ikaw man ay may HD sa akin, can you please step up so we can work on it? [evil grin]

My friend AM sent an email that made me smile and [sige na nga] laugh. So I'm sharing it to everyone.

Intsik: Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, hindi kayo mabubuntis.
Babae: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo.
3 months later, galit si babae: Bakit ako nabuntis?
Intsik: Baka hinubad mo
********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
GF: Hayop ka, niloloko mo ako!
BF: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawa ah!
GF: Anong wala? Nakita kita kanina, may kasama kang ibang babae, magkahawak pa kamay nyo! Niloloko mo ako!
BF: Makinig ka muna... hindi kita niloloko, maniwala ka... Yung kasama ko kanina ang niloloko ko!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* Ifugao: Apply po ako ng sundalo, sir.
Officer: Hindi ka pwede, ang dami mong sirang ngipin, bungi ka pa!
Ifugao: Bakit sir, sa gyera ba ngayon, kagatan na ang labanan?
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
A lizard fell on a table.
Genius: Oh! reptila scincidae;
Kikay: Eew, lizard!; A
stig: Shit, butiki!;
Mataray: Shucks, butiks!;
Mayaman: Yuck! Lacoste!;
Mahirap: Pare, ulam!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Bakit "S" ang nasa costume ni Superman? Wala na kasing medium! Napansin mo, fit masyado, di ba?
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Mother superior: Hala, layas dito sa kumbento!
Madre: Bakit po? Dahil po ba sa paggamit ko ng vibrator?
Mother superior: Hindi, ayoko lang may nakikiaalam sa gamit ko!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Nanay: Hala, sige, layas! Huwag ka nang bumalik dito sa bahay! Simula ngayon, huwag mo na akong tawaging nanay at hindi na rin kita tatawaging anak, naintindihan mo? Anak: Sige dude, alis na ako.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Boy: Kukunin ko ang mga bituin at ibibigay ko sa iyo!
Girl: Shut up! Hindi mo nga makuha yang kulangot mo, bituin pa!
Boy: Ay sorry, hindi ko alam na ito pala ang gusto mo!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Ice cream ba talaga yung inendorse in Pacquiao sa TV ad nya na Nestle Ice Cream? Akala ko kasi, softdrinks. Kasi, sabi nya, "Oh mga bata, Mirinda na!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
A priest at a church.
Lady: Father, ang gwapo at cute mo naman! Bakit ka pa kasi nagpari?
Priest: Dahil ayaw pumayag ng magulang ko na magmadre ako! Bruha! ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Pedro: Alam mo, yung pusa namin, kahit nakalagay sa lamesa at walang takip ang ulam namin, hindi kinakain!
Juan: Maniwala ako?!
Pedro: Totoo!
Juan: Ano ba ang ulam nyo?
Pedro: Asin!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* Boy Guwapo + Girl Ganda = Perfect Couple.
Boy Guwapo + Girl Panget = True Love.
Boy Panget + Girl Ganda = Galing Diskarte.
Boy Panget + Girl Panget = SUKOB!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Ama: Bakit ka umiiyak?
Anak: Pumasa po kasi ako sa test. Huhuhu!
Ama: Aba , magaling! Anong subject yun, anak?
Anak: Pregnancy test po itay!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Erap at Starbucks.
Erap: Waiter, isang kape nga!
Waiter: Sir, decaf ho ba?
Erap: Syempre! Bobo! Lahat ng kape, de cup! Bakit, may nakaplato ba?! ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Sa prusisyon.
Pari: Ang mga boys, sunod sa karo ni San Jose , mga girls, sa karo ni Mama Mary. Bakla: Kami father, saan kami susunod?
Pari: Mga bruha! Follow me!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Pedro: Ang tapang talaga ni Paeng! Biro mo, tumalon sa eroplano nang walang parachute!
Leo: Ohh, totoo? Saan mo naman nabalitaan yan?
Pedro: Dun sa burol nya!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Anak: Inay, ang galing ng titser ko.
Inay: Bakit naman?
Anak: Tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal.
Nanay: Eh di marunong ka nang gumalang at magpo at opo?
Anak: Natural! Tanga ka ba?
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Use "Bampira" in a sentence! Ahmm, Dodong. Pautang naman, meron ka bampira?! ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *** TUKMOL: Sino sa inyo ang matapang? Lumabas!
SIGA: Ako, matapang ako, bakit may problema ka?
TUKMOL: Wala po, survey lang ho. Ngayon, yung duwag naman ang lumabas! ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Anak: Ma, hingi sana ako ng P50.
Nanay: P40? Ang laki naman ng P30! Anong gagawin mo sa P20? Akala mo madaling kumita ng P10? O, eto P5.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Boy1: Bakit mo ako sinuntok?
Boy2: Tinawag mo akong hipopotamus!
Boy1: Last year pa yon! Tarantado!
Boy2: Eh kanina ko lang nakita picture ng hippopotamus, bobo!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
May kwento ako tungkol sa lovelife ng ampalaya. Huwag na lang! Masyadong mapait!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Grabe! Biruin mo, 150,000 pesos daw, hot oil lang! 150,000 pesos ang rebonding! Sobra naman yang David's Salon na yan! - Rapunzel.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Hindi makapagtimpla ng juice si Inday. Tahimik lang syang nakatitig sa bote ng juice. Dahil nakasulat: Concentrate.

To Pia, my Dance Partner

[clean version, just because I can't seem to post in my blog the 'F' word]

I WANNA LOVE YOU
by Akon

I see you windin n grindin up on that pole,
I kno u see me lookin' at you and you already kno
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

[Snoop Dogg]
Money in the air as mo feel grad you by your coat tail take you to the motel, hoe sale,
dont tell, wont tell, baby said I dont talk dogg but she told on me, oh well,
take a picture wit me, what the flick gon do, baby stick to me & ima stick on u,
if u pick me then ima pick on you, d-o-double g and im here to put this dick on you,
I'm stuck on pussy n urs is right, wrip ridinin them poles and them doors is tight
and ima get me a shot for the end of the night cuz pussy is pussy and baby ur pussy for life.

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin n grindin up on that pole,
I kno u see me lookin' at you and you already kno
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

[Akon]
Shorty I can see u aint lonely handfull of niggas n they all got cheese,
so u lookin at me now whats it gonna be just another tease far as I can see,
tryin get u up out this club if it means spendin' a couple dubs,
throwin bout 30 stacks in the back make it rain like that cuz I'm far from a scrub,
u kno my pedigree, ex-deala use to move phetamines,
girl I spend money like it dont mean nuthin n besides I got a thing for u.
[ these lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin n grindin up on that pole,
I kno u see me lookin' at you and you already kno
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

[Snoop Dogg]
Mobbin' through club in low pressin im sittin in the back in the smokers section (just smokin),
birds eye, I got a clear view, you cant see me but I can see u (baby I see u),
its cool we jet the mood is set,
your pussy is wet u rubbin your back and touchin your neck,
ur body is movin' u humpin' n jumpin' ur titties is bouncin' u smilin' n grinin' n lookin at me.

[Akon]
Girl n while your looking at me im ready to hit the caddy right up on the patio move the patty to the caddy,
baby u got a phatty the type I like to marry wantin to just give u everythin n thats kinda scary,
cuz I'm lovin the way you shake your ass , bouncin', got me tippin' my glass,
lil' mully dont get caught up to fast but I got a thing for you.

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin n grindin up on that pole,
I kno u see me lookin' at you and you already kno
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin n grindin up on that pole,
I kno u see me lookin' at you and you already kno
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

girl...

You guys should see us dance to this song. It's gonna be a whole new experience. haha. One of a kind.

Di Naman Bored.. Tamad lang.

Dear Eunice Zuleika,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Wednesday, March 14:

A piece of the romantic puzzle that's been missing might just snap into place now, and the person who's holding it may not be who you'd expect. Be ready for enlightenment from an unusual source.

	I, Eunice, being of sound mind, hereby bequeath my entire estate to a Ferrari. I do this because they work for the mob. My only regret in this life was that I never met my idol Tom Green.
'What will your Last Will and Testament say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Your Dating Style: Honest Relationship (Self-Directed)

You like to have an honest relationship with someone. You may or may not be faithful, but you would always tell them what's going on with you.

'What is your dating style?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Zaldy and Elvie are Proud to Announce the Birth of their Child, Eunice, on May 14, 1984.

Unfortunately, Eunice vomits candy.

Zaldy and Elvie are confused. So very confused..

What Did Your Birth Announcement Say? at QuizGalaxy.com

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

SOURCE OF JOY APPLICANTS

Den: Anong tawag sa leader ng mga potato?
Euns: Ano?
Den: Edi Potato Chief.

Den: Ano first name ni Ces?
Euns: [blank stare] Ces.
Den: Simon. Eh si Chinky?
Euns: Ano?
Den: Nini.

Quotable quotes:
Ang love parang straw yan, kahit sipsipin mo ng sipsipin kung walang laman wala ka maiinom.

Wala talagang stable na bagay sa mundo, ang TABLE nga UNSTABLE pa e.

Ayokong maging newspaper, kasi bukas may bago nanaman headline, ayoko mapag-iwanan ng balita.

[Nakaupo sa dyaryo] Wow, im on top of the news.

[Nakaupo sa codal] Wow, I'm above the law.

Ang love parang text lang yan, minsan kahit gaano kapuno ang inbox wala naman laman ang outbox at wala rin sent messages. Mahirap pa kung na wrong send ka, tapos nagreply un sinendan mo. O kaya pag out of coverage area un tina-try mo sendan, tapos pag ready na sya magreply, Low bat ka na.

Kawawa naman un halaman, wala syang choice kundi mag-grow lang.

Alf: Knock knock.
Euns: Who's there?
Alf: Gutom na gutom...
Euns: Gutom na gutom who?
Alf: [may attempt pa sumayaw] Gutom na gutom na gutom na gutom.. my milkshake brings all the boys on the yard...

Letter of Love #6

Hey,

Ever had a day where you want the world to stop bothering you just so you can feel every little movement around you? Ever felt the need to drown out all the noised so you can hear yourself breathing? Ever stopped just so you can feel life flowing through you? Today is one of those days for me. If you were only here, I would've told you to not mind me, to not look at me because I'm at my most dreaded state... I feel fragile. I fee that if i stop doing something, the world will come rushing in again to overwhelm me. On the outside, nothing much really is happening, everything's routinary, but if i can invte you to that alter-world that I have in my mind, you'll realize that I never really had peace of mind. You will know that if you'll succeed to strip me of my wall, I have a lot going on. It's hard to remain calm and logical when deep inside I feel uncertainty overcome me, slowly but purposely... skillfully.

If you were here with me now, I fear that I might be able to push you away. In the same way that I have pushed away a lot of people from my past only to feel the punishment of loneliness right after. I have to warn you that you should never GIVE UP ON ME too easily, that you should always bear in your heart and mind that I don't want you to go... no matter how ironic my actions will be... no matter how my actions contradict my declaration of how deeply I am in love with you. There really is no need for you to do something extraordinary, I just need you to be there, to hug me while I shake and cry in your arms, not able to eloquently express how I feel. I just need you to look into my eyes, hold my gands and give me that warm smile that I have fallen in love with. I just need you to wait outside my room, patiently when I askyou to leave just because I need to reorganize my own thoughts.. I need to remind myself that you are God's angel, entrusted to me in the same way that he entrusted me to you.

When I ask you to go, you need not worry because I definitely will come to you, all red and puffy-eyed with a look that will eventually help you understand what just transpired. I do not fear the day when we will have to fight because I look forward to us saying sorry and affirming each other of how love remains to be a part of our relationship. It is sad that at present I cannot fight with you yet, it's sad that I cannot yet share with you the emotional intensity that only a lovers' fight can produce. It is the same intensity that will keep us together, that does not only promise sunny fays and starry nights but also rainy days and moonless nights that are potentially cold but stronger than a superficial promise. It's way stronger than a promise, it is an undying declaration of not only love but friednship and endless competition. Yes, we will compete on who can love more passionately, more strongly, more eternally. It will be an infinite competition... I can't wait to be your adversary.

Til next time competitor... til we meet.

Lang Kwenta

Jv[while reciting]: [blah blah blah blah] victors.. [blah blah blah]
Eunice: [whispers to Ana] Victors? Victors Neris?
Ana: [empty look]
Eunice: Ah, Victors Woods.

Eunice's Labels

Doodle doodle.

Peter Pan's Wendy
Tinkerbell's "Girl Friend"
Captain Hook's Tamer
Lost Boy's Keeper.

Hehe. Written during PIL.

Aww Moment

kakagising lang ni Eunice, paglabas ng kwarto nandun ang dad nya.

Dad: [big hug] Di na tayo nagkakausap a. Alam mo naman kung ano stand ko sa smoking ha? Malaki ka na, alam mo na ang tama at mali.

Un na. Lunok.