I Wish I'm Anorexic.

There are times that i wish i am anorexic.. or bulemic. whichever will make me skinny.

I've been battling with my weight problem for years and the only time i think i won was before i celebrated my 18th birthday. It gets tiring really, i was born fat. Looking at my pictures way before i knew the meaning of fat i guess i was meatier than everyone else. Most of the time, i laugh at myself or at the people who would point out how fat i am. I smile and nonchalantly drop a witty remark or even joke about it. It's not true that i dont get bothered, this is my body that we are talking about and being fat isnt really something that i am proud of. It gets really depressing to think that it has become a hindrance for me to get some people's respect. I dont blame them for looking at me like some silly girl trying to find her way to acceptance.

But if i'm skinny, then i dont think i will be the Eunice that i am. Oh well, trade-offs.