The Aftershock

Just knowing that something has ended is more than enough to make you wake up at the wrong side of your bed and make you feel all the unnecessary pain that wasn’t there when it actually happened. I couldn’t help but think that in all my failed relationships, the common factor was me. It hurts all the more to know that at one point, I was happy and that the happiness I felt ended or is at least not in the same level as it was before. Relationships are always complicated; you feel all these emotions ganging up on you like it’s the last time you can be bullied. I get asked if I am fine and I honestly say that I am. I have no other option but to be fine. It was a decision that had to be made despite all the cons. It was definitely for the best. We should quit while we’re ahead.

So I’m back to zero, back to where I started, with all the optimism that I can muster at this point. After all, we both deserve to be loved the way we imagined it to be, but more importantly, we deserve to be able to give all the love we have to someone who can bring out that drive to love in us. I am thankful, relieved and well, hopeful that in one way or the other we have learned from the experience and we will look back not with regret but with a smile that says, “We didn’t waste each other’s time.” Because while we were together, all the time spent were worth the things that we did and felt.

We will be fine. We have to be. I am... "really."

In Other Salita a.k.a Sa Madaling Words

In Tagalog:

Nung tiningnan mo ba ako, nakita mo rin ang takot

na dinala nito? Naaninag mo ba ang pagaatubili,

ang pagtatago na pilit kong pinapalitan

ng pagngiti at paghawi ng aking buhok na sa totoo

lang ay hiniling ko na takpan na lang ang aking pagkatao?

Nang hinawakan ba kita, nalaman mo na handa na

Akong ibigay sana ang pagtitiwala, ang pagkalinga

At ang pagmamahal ng nangungulila kong puso?

Pasensya ka na, mapatawad mo sana ang lahat

Ng pagtunganga, pagtahimik at pagsasawalang-

Bahala na ginagamit kong sandata laban sa’yo.

Hindi naman talaga laban sa’yo, kundi laban

sa posibilidad na maaari akong mahulog

at mapahamak sa pagtugon sa mahina pa

sanang tinig na nagsasabing ikaw, sana ikaw,

pwedeng ikaw, bakit ikaw? Mas malakas kasi

ang tinig na nagsusumamo na sa ganitong pagka-

kataon, mauna na muna ako, isipin ko muna

ang sarili ko, mahalin ko muna ako. Bakit hindi

ako? Kasi pag nangibabaw nanaman ang ikaw,

magmimistula nanamang saling-pusa lamang

ang ako na sana’y maging bida naman ng storyang

tinatawag ko paring aking buhay. Nang di natin na-

Malayan na magkadikit na ang ating mga tuhod,

Hita, kamay, mukha, damdamin! Ako lang ba

O parang sanay na sila na magkasama? Ako lang

Ba o parang matagal nang hinintay kita? Ako

Lang ba o nanumbalik na ang parating palang

Nating alaala? Ako lang ba? Ikaw rin ba? Pero

Sa pagtatapos ng mahabang tanungan na ito,

Ang tanong parin ay kung pwede nga rin ba

ang tayo? Itutuloy mo parin ba ang paghabol

sa kayo? Muli, natatakot nanaman ako. Kasi

kung tama ang palagay ko, matatapos na

kasabay nito ang guni-guni ko na pwede tayo.

Kasi ang paglalaban ng kayo at ng tayo, yung

Huli ang medyo dehado. Sana lang sa desisyon

Mo, maisip mo, kahit na konti, ako. At ang pag-

Lalaro na laging taya ang puso ko.

-------------------------------

In English: What’s up?!

To My Dear Balahuras

Happy second anniversary to my favorite people in the world, m y sisters, batchmates, co-balahuras and best of friends: Ces, Dial, Chris, Gea, Ethel and Dae.

I know that we’ve been through a lot together, and no matter what may come our way, there is one thing that remains constant, our sisterhood. We’ll love each other no matter what and we’ll be ready to fight the battle that any one of us has to fight until the end. I will forever be grateful for having been blessed with the best kind of people as my batchmates. Our differences in opinion, personality and taste (looks at Dial, haha) only make our bond all the more special and worth keeping. Thank you for never leaving my side when I needed you most, for feeling my pain while I was hurting, for laughing with me and at me, and for being one of the first who’ll never hesitate to protect me and even defend me. Thank you for being proud of me, for attentively listening to my stories and for being my number one fan(s) in everything that I do. You guys have served as my “stage moms” in the law school, I appreciate every single compliment, pangdudusta and kabalahuraans that we shared.

Our friendship made my joining our sorority more than worthwhile. The decisions and the sacrifices that I had to make and the challenges that I had to face are nothing compared to what I gained when I joined Regina Iustitiae. We have survived a lot and emerged victorious. We rise and rise and never fall.

The memories that we have made in those two years are more than enough to last a lifetime but I have no plans of stopping in collecting more. I know that I will grow old with you guys and if the time comes that I have my very own kids, I will proudly tell them that I have sisters like you whom I know will take care of them and love them unconditionally. (Open up na’to!)

You guys make me proud each day knowing that I found people with the same ideals and with the same aspirations. I love you batchies! Sorelle Insime (sisters forever) talaga. Alam ko umiiyak na si Dial kaya tatapusin ko na ang mahabang kamushy-han na’to. Rah-rah kung rah-rah pero walang tatalo sa Jelaiah!

P.S. Momsy, aren’t you proud of your kids? :P thank you for the tough lovin’ and for taking care of us in your own special and at times, very discreet way. Love you Momsy!

GROUP HUG na’to!

JELAIAH SORELLE INSIEME

2007

It Starts Now

So today is another beginning, a part of my string of beginnings. It starts normally but ends extraordinarily. Another “beginning” has ended, a lot of others will definitely surface but I am ready. Today is the day that I once again begin to be free. Today is the day that I will smile knowing that better things are to come. Beautiful things are coming my way, beautiful people are surrounding me. What more can a girl ask for?

It sometimes makes me sad, knowing that everything has expiration dates. Even forever is a prescriptive term right? When you look at people you meet along the way, there are those whom you know can only stay for a while but whom you would want to be there for as long as possible. You hold on to them, literally, with the hope that you can cheat destiny and make it believe that it’s only been seconds since that person has been given to you. But fate has a funny way of making you know that it’s time. You feel it, you try to ignore it and even try to justify it. Fate wins. Destiny wins.

For me, fate is a prelude to a decision… and I have finally decided. If letting go means having that person forever, then let it be. There may be no holding of hands; there may be no looking at each other’s eyes with the promise of forever, but a different promise remains. There is a silent vow that with certainty says, “Although the circumstances have changed, we still have each other’s backs.”

To love is one thing, but to genuinely care is another thing. There are no goodbyes but there are a thousand of hello’s that are needed to be uttered and felt. Love is not a noun, it’s a verb, a verb that not only acts but feels. Thank you. It was not good, it was perfect while it lasted.

Ana's Compilation

Aubs: Nasan si Boss Ces?

Ana: Ayun, inaakit pa ni Carlo.

-----------------------------

Ana: Sasama kaya si ______?

Euns: Bakit di mo isama si Carlo

Ana: Ayoko baka ma-awkward kami.

---------------------------

Ranting na Patawa

Sayang nga.

Kasi parang wala nang panahon

at wala na ring pagkakataon.

At kung meron man,

nagkakaubusan na ng rason.

Pero kung nauna ka na sana

At narinig ko na agad,

Di ikaw na ang kasama

At ako na ang rason.

Pero marami nang nangyari

Sa mundo mo

At sa mundo ko

Sa lahat ng pangyayari

Hindi ikaw ang kasama ko

At sa’yo, hindi naman ako.

Sa ngayon masaya naman sana

Kung minsan nakakatawa

Gusto kong sabihin na

Ikaw na lang sana

Pero ang weird naman non diba?

---

When things like what happened happen, you couldn’t help but look at things and people differently. It becomes not a matter of choice but a matter of acceptance. You get hurt in the process, especially if you’re someone who’s not a big fan of change. You look back and think about what you could’ve and should’ve done differently not with regret but with the hope that in the end, you will learn something from the experience. When you look back, you see flashbacks, pictures of people who have been kind to you, who have been true friends to you and those who were quick to judge. You are faced with one dilemma, do you carry the pain with you or leave it behind?

Pain is a stubborn thing. It sticks with you during your frailest of moments. It strikes when you expect them to strike but more effectively and more aggressively comes when you’re already on the floor, trampled upon and beaten up. Then comes betrayal. It wouldn’t be called betrayal if it’s not by someone dear to you. Someone whom you have looked at a lot of times in the past with a smile that says ”I am so glad you’re here.” When finally you are made aware of what has been said and done, you do not feel anger or hatred. You just feel disappointed that you trusted blindly and that you loved unconditionally.

But like what I said, it is now a matter of acceptance, of a vow that you will not look the other away again. It is not of losing faith but of finding the courage to keep the faith. To be disappointed is one thing, but to live in a world where you doubt everything is like not living at all. You look around and see all these people who are more than willing to be there for you, no matter what and you begin to be grateful again. It only takes one hug, one pat on the back, one smile to make you believe once more. It only takes a handful of true friends to remind you that you can move on. You can go forward… and that finally you can be healed.

Inside Joke

(Sulat Para sa Lalaking May Sariling Mundo)

Hello.

Hell no.

He’ll know.

Hehe.

Heh!

(Para sa Lalaking Naging Aking Mundo)

Heh!

Hehe.

He’ll know.

Hell no.

Hello.

because i was tagged by Rach...

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

SALSA 2009

Fr. Bernas' uploaded video of SALSA's performance last saturday a MUSIKA MANILA: ALS Night of the Arts.

http://gallery.me.com/jbernas#101229

178

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 of these films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own blog account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click publish at the bottom.

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x ) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) Fight Club
( x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 5

(x) The Princess Bride
( ) Anchorman
( x) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( x) Saw
(x ) Saw II
(x ) White Noise
(x) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 15

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
( x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x ) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
( x) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 26

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
(x) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x ) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 36

(x) Finding Nemo
(x ) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
( x) The Grinch
( x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
(x) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
( ) Robots
Total so far: 45

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 54

(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
(x ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x ) Final Destination 3
(x ) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( x) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
( x) Flubber
Total so far: 65

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x ) From Hell
( x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x ) I Am Sam
(x ) The Whole Nine Yards
(x ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 74

(x ) The Day After Tomorrow
(x ) Child's Play...snippets
(x ) Seed of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x ) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x ) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
( x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
(x ) The Grudge
(x ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
(x ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 87

(x) Bad Boys
(x ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(x ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
(x ) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x ) Predator II
(x) The Fog
(x ) Ice Age
(x ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 99

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
(x ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x ) War of the Worlds
(x ) Rush Hour
(x ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 107

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
(x) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
( x) The Terminator 2
( x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 118

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x ) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
(x ) Jeepers Creepers
( x) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
(x ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
(x) Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 134

(x ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
(x ) The Notebook
(x ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
(x ) Ice Castles
(x ) Boogeyman
(x ) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 141

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x ) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x ) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 147

( ) Baseketball
(x) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
( ) Elf
(x ) Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 151

( ) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 155

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(x ) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x ) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x ) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(x ) Waterworld
Total so far: 161

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
( x) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 166

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x )Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x)Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 172

(x ) The Matrix
(x ) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
(x ) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

178