It's Like... What the Fuck?!

Oo, I will forever be haunted by Jojo Miggy because I said, "It's like... [moment] What the fuck?!" with full emotion. Hassle.

Sep: Di naman nakakatakot un Kapre e, un may ulo ng kabayo na
nagyoyosi?
Euns: Oo nga, di talaga nakakatakot un kasi kung ulo nya kabayo si Petrang
Kabayo un... Matatakot ka ba kay Roderick Paulate?

Sep: So, un Tikbalang un katawan kabayo tapos ulo tao?
Euns: Oo, at ung Kapre un higante na nagyoyosi...
Sep: [moment of silence] Bakit nga ba tayo napunta sa kapre at
tikbalang?
Euns: Ewan ko. Nanaginip ka yata ng malupit kanina e.

Sep: SUSULONG na ako sa ulan.
Euns: Sige, "SUMULONG" ka na. Ayos, parang katupinero a.
Sep: Edi, LULUSONG na ko sa ulan.
Euns: Di ba sa baha lang un?
Sep: [blank stare]

I Cut My Hair

AGAIN.
The other day.
Why? Because of my need for something to change.
I've been receiving overwhelmingly many compliments from well-wishers and I appreciate that. I think I got "IT" back. Finally.

I was praying this afternoon when it dawned on me how I can safely say that I am back to "OK" again. I ended up teasing God about how He almost always plays tricks on me, hurts me enormously and then He ends up feeling guilty after. Sabihan bang nag-guilty si God? I'm sure He laughs at me all the time too, quits lang kami. Pero totoo, nai-imagine ko si God na sinasabi, "Naku, sumobra na yata un prank ko kay Eunice, kawawa naman... Di na nagsusuot ng makukulay na gamit... Bigyan na nga sya uli ng strength at peace of mind." At ayun, I instantly gain the real ME back. Walang pakialamanan, kanya-kanyang gawa ng scenario ito. Whatever works right?

My life's once again pretty stable, I'm enjoying it... not thinking of other things besides law school and friends. It's like I'm really "growing up".

For the first time in ages, I don't know what to blog about anymore. I'm a pretty common writer, it's not hard to figure me out, when I'm emotionally unstable, I flood my blog with everything that I feel, see and experience just so I can document how I managed to survive that chapter of my life. Everything's so fleeting that I don't want to end up forgetting important but small things. Life is a wonderful string of petty things blown out of proportion. Great things start from small beginnings nga diba?

So, I did cut my hair... again. Mainly because I'm bored but the underlying reasons are infinitely many... like, I feel that I can pull the short hair look now that a lot of people are assuring me that I lost weight and uhmm, I wanna feel more empowered.

I think it was a good decision. I'm feeling pretty empowered these past few days.

Sana.

Two down...

... one being my dream of DL-ship
... the other being me.

hehe.

Pero ang totoo, TWO DOWN! Succession and Insurance are sooo yesterday...

TORTS naman..

ang nananakit ng walang pre-existing contractual obligation.
Blech.

WOWOWEE Good Morning

Talagang kailangan mapanood namin pareho ni Bos Maj itong episode na'to para mapagkwentuhan namin.. haha

Host: Ulo, Tuhod, Paa... Saan matatagpuan ang poknat?
Contestant 1: TUHOD?? [sabay upo habang nakamini-skirt sya at tawa]
Contestant no. 2: [alam ko'to FACE] WALA???! [ginaya ang ginawa ni contestant 1]
Contestant 2: MATA???? [wala nga sa choices!]

Host: Kung ang whistle ay pito... Ano naman ang WHISPER?
Contestant 1: [excited pa at pasigaw na sinabi...." MODESS?????!
Contestant 2: NAPKIN????!
Contestant 3: [sa isip nya, ang tatanga naman nitong mga 'to!] SILBATO???!

Un na, di na nakayanan ni Willy... sinabi na nya ang sentiment ko... "TROPANG TRUMPO ba'to? [Battle of the Brainless kasi e!]

Good morning talaga Wowowee..

I WIsh I Can Go Back to Shallow

... It's safer.
... Has less pressure.
... easier to get out of.
... no complicated gear needed.
... it's impossible to hide.

I wish I can go back to shallow.

TAROT CARD for the Day

The Tower card suggests that my alter ego today is the Survivor, whose superpower for revolution lies in my epiphany for change, brought on with the aid of a serious reality check. Today I have reached a turning point. It may be all over but the crying -- but I have the strength to move on and create a better situation for myself. You may say that I never saw it coming or learned the hard way, but with profound change comes new opportunity. One door closes -- another opens. So tear down the wall, and rebuild anew.

What Great Timing

I AM SICK. This is the second time in one semester, talk about BREAKING THE RECORD. Now I have to worry about how to get through the Midterms, ALIVE. What great timing.

Off to more pleasant things, last night, we had a spontaneous Tarot Card reading with Joan's friend who insists on being called ST because apparently, "It could mean anything." So to prove his point, I called him Science and Technology. I'm sure both Haze and Ces'll be posting something about their reading, so i'm not gonna spoil the fun and just render information about mine... It's amazing how accurate the cards were.

My key card symbolizes INNER CONFLICt, sabi nga ni ST, meron daw akong nakitang double-edged sword, di pa ko nakuntento na kinuha ko, sinaksak ko pa at inako ang sakit. Ayos. It is GREATLY affecting me raw, although I am a very strong person because of this certain QUEEN CARD which symbolizes me, I have an inner turmoil. In seven days, I will have to let my MIND dominate my emotions and THINK really hard about the situation. My past card shows that the event is perceived as a VICTORY by other people, everyone's so supportive and happy about it but I know deep inside [going back to the INNER TURMOIL CARD] that there are issues that are waiting to surface. He even said that I am surrounded with SUCCESS and that I NEED TO GROW UP because of this card which shows a child with a growing plant on his back. The most important of it all is that I WILL MAKE THROUGH IT if I regain whatever it is that I think and feel I lost, which to our conclusion would be PRIDE. The future has a lot of beautiful things for me and all I need to do is THINK and not let my EQ over power my IQ. Ayos ulit.

The TAROT CARD READER is, incidentally, also a COUNSELOR. What great timing diba? So when everybody decided to go home at around 1 in the morning, we stayed until three am to talk about me and how I should be able to handle certain situations. Yeah, WE ARGUED BIG TIME. But he said a lot of very beautiful things about me and I appreciate that.

He said, "Do you honestly think he's good for you?". That was the question... my answer? Smile.

He went on to talk about emotional unavailability and all this psycho-shit which I appreciated.

Overall, it was a great night. And yeah, I am happy that I dropped him off at Joan's. Yihee. [Ayy, sorry.]

Sabi nga ni "Dementor"...

"How can love let it go if it has no place to go?"

and

"Maybe someday I'll see why love did this to me....."

quoted from.... SURPRISE!


CATCH ME I'M FALLING
TONI GONZAGA

I don’t know why but when i look in your eyes
I feel something that seems so right
You’ve got yours i’ve got mine
I think i’m loosing my mind
Coz i shouldn’t feel this way
Catch me i’m falling for you
And i don’t know what to do

How can something so wrong?
Feel so right all along
Catch me i’m falling for you

How can time be so wrong
For love to come along?
Catch me i’m falling for you

How can love let it go
When it has no place to go
And i can’t go along pretending
That love isn’t here to stay
Catch me i’m falling for you ooh ooh

If i could just walk away
Without you floating today
I would die just thinking of you
I know we can’t therefore be more than friends you and me
But why do i feel this way

Catch me i’m falling for you
And i don’t know what to do

How can something so wrong?
Feel so right all along
Catch me i’m falling for you

How can time be so wrong
For love to come along?
Catch me i’m falling for you

Maybe someday i’ll see why love did this to me
Coz i can’t go along pretending
That love isn’t here to stay
Catch me i’m falling for you
Catch me i’m falling for you

And it’s wrong for me to feel this way
Coz i don’t know what to do without you
I’m falling for you
Catch me i’m falling for you

How can something so wrong?
Feel so right all along
Catch me i’m falling for you

You're not being Punished...

from POSTSECRET

Tuesday is Book Day

I spent my whole Tuesday [technically] in Starbucks inside Fully Booked located at the Bonifacio High Street. It was a productive day, with a lot of funny kwentos and unexpected meet-ups.

I bumped into a high school teacher of mine, He did remember me, but by the time I realized it was him, it was too late to establish the "Hi, how're you? What've you been doing?" conversation. SO i ended up eavesdropping on him and his friend who apparently is going through a "romantic dilemma". The only reason why I was able to eavesdrop was because I had no choice, they were too close to where I was "studying" and well, I can relate to the girl's problem. But I caught one perfect string of advice from my high school teacher, he said... "Why would you text him? What do you need to know? You want more PAIN? You gave him the chance and he blew it, now move on. There's nothing to be bitter about." The girl went on saying that it's just her, she needed to clear things up... she wants to know if she should finally move on, and that she can't stand waiting. The guy didn't reply. I guess she got her closure. I hope. So she can finally move on.

Now off to more shallow things, Chinky convinced me to read the "He's Just Not that Into You" book written by two of the writers of Sex and the City. I remember that line, it was Jack Berger [Carrie's Insecure Ex-boyfriend] who said it to try to put logic in the mind of Miranda who was confused as to why the guy he dated wouldn't stay after their date. Jack said, "He's just not that into you." Made sense, only, Miranda believed it too much that it was kind of late when she found out that the real reason was that the guy had Diarrhea, but THAT doesn't happen a lot. Back to the book, it was pretty enlightening, I mean if you'll read it not as a Bible but a glimpse of how men thinks. Lines like, "He will risk losing the friendship if he really likes you." or "If he says he's busy, he's just not that into you." will make you squirm knowing that at one point in your life, a guy gave you that excuse. My favorite line was, "YOU DESERVE A FUCKING PHONE CALL." simply because it was very uhmm, straightforward... blunt. In this modern times where text messaging is more prominent, I'd like to propose that it be amended to, "YOU DESERVE A FUCKING TEXT MESSAGE." The book even bitchily said, that "If he's not calling you, then he's not thinking about you." and "If you can find him, chances are he can find you too... so if he doesn't, HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU." Loved that book, made me realize a lot of things about my past almost love stories and misadventures.

I was gonna quote something that really fits my present disposition, but I guess I don't want to incriminate myself more... Let's just assume that whoever he is, He's just not that into me. Toughluck, but I can live with that. Or not.

Then I got myself busy with the POSTSECRET book... It started when Patty showed me the postcard which said, "MY HEART IS AN IDIOT." Sakitan na ito. I've been a big fan of the POSTSECRET blog for years now, grabbing a few postcards every now and then to give color to my blog... It's a great idea, it's more than brilliant I guess... It's sharing your secret anonymously to ease your burden and at the same time "hopefully" help someone who feels the same way. I've been touched in numerous ways by the postcards that were sent to the blog. Love it love it love it.

It was a productive day, got to study for Succession and Insurance and started studying for the Midterms. Got boy-watching again with Patty, saw a lot of law students who are desperately trying to have a life or at least pretend to have a life outside Rockwell [including me] by studying in Serendra. [blank stare] Talk about a futile attempt... I found my paradise. Oh, did I mention that I got to wear "shorts ka pa shorts" in public?

Hah!

When It's a Really Sucky Day...

• You have to hold on to the memories of happy and beautiful things so you'll get through.
• Cry when you have to cry but vow to be happy after.
• Never ever think that the suckiness of things will stubbornly stay, be hopeful.
• Never let go of your faith, at the end of it all, if it remains, you'll be fine.
• Never be resigned with the idea that you're not worth anything, because failure is not the falling down but the staying down.
• Decide to be happy. Remind yourself of THAT decision.
• Let go and LET GOD.
• Smile. Like what I always say, "When you hit rock bottom, there's no way but up. Unless you want to dig deeper and exhaust yourself more."