The Law and Economics of Lust, Love and Life

The BIG 23

This is long overdue, mainly because I turned 23 last May 14 and the only reason why this line of thinking was triggered is because Ces and I were talking about her very own "turning 23" moment that will happen on the 7th of July. The secondary reason was because my birthday seemed so small compared to the Elections which kind of drained the energy out of us to even speak of something outside of its realm. It's harsh really, especially when I am reminded of how close I am to the fulfillment of what i have dreamed of for myself and that in just a matter of time, I will find out if i have been chasing the wrong rainbow all my life.

My life's pretty stable and that's what scares me, it's usually a sign of something big that is possibly lurking and that will show its face when I am least prepared. It has always been hard for me to admit it but I am a scaredy cat. As much as i would like people to assume that I fear nothing, there are quite a number of things the scares me really... one of those things is failure. I am a sore loser, not because I blame the weakness of the opponent but because I am always hard on myself. I grew up relying on no one else but myself that it is very difficult if not unlikely of me to consider asking help from people or to even show signs of weakness. Masokistang mayabang.

Off to the more important and jologs part of my turning twenty three, when I was in my teens, i would dream of looking really goo when I turn 23... why? [drumroll please!] because 23 was Judy Ann's age, [i think] when she lost weight for that flick with Piolo involving boxing. I swore that if I want to find the Piolo Pascual of my life, I would have to start taking care of myself. Now at 23, I still am the same old Eunice, too busy or lazy to actually lose weight and too bankrupt to visit my dermatologist regularly. Sadness. I know it sounds superficial, but who wouldn't want to improve and be the best that she can be?

I was talking with Haze and Patring about how jologs my life has become because nothing has been happening and quite frankly, I am not exaggerating, besides the now routinary teasing about pseudo-love interests and my one sem-long ranting about a supposed Neverland, I am tired of playing games. [cue to play QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART]. I guess I really am beginning to be old. I cannot find it in my personality at present to really begin dating, the way I used to date people when I was in college. Also, I don't see myself dating someone younger simply because it's awkward. It's more like a preference now that I am sure I have matured a lot. Heck, I cannot even find it in my heart to crush on someone, I feel so uhmm.. RIGID.

I should be happy, in fact, I can honestly say that I am... but there are little things that are needed in my life to make me say that I feel complete. Sometimes, I feel empty, not knowing what my purpose is... Sometimes I feel low because I feel that people are finding it hard to take me seriously. It must be my destiny to make people laugh, and now that the joke is on me, I find it incredibly impossible to stop them from laughing. Fragile din naman ako paminsan-minsan, my closest friends can attest to the fact that there are times were I cry because of the smallest of things just because I feel the gravity of future situations. I am not afraid to cry, but I am afraid that when I am finally at ease with the idea of someone being strong for me and I finally let go... that person will leave me at my weakest.

I have survived a lot of things last year, it was a ride that had its highs and lows and just like Ally McBeal, the times where I was crying were in fact the times when I experienced happiness. ALthough they were fleeting, unsure and unstable... I found solace in the fact that there was a possibility. The what if's were so good that I forgot to rely on the sure things. I don't know if I can promise to not rely on mere possibilities now that I am a year older, but if there's one thing I really learned, it's the fact that my fairy tales are written by me and the "end" depends on how I handle things. Yes they may not be the endings that I hoped for or expected but I have control over my being... no matter how bad the situation may be I can choose to be strong and happy.

Lastly, turning 23 isn't a mere sign that I have become older and more mature, it's also a promise that on the 24th year on my life, my 23rd year might be "the year" that I find fulfillment. I want people to understand that I am not shallow, that I am not dumb and that if they only take me seriously they will realize that it is very hard to make people laugh, to make people feel good and to make people feel powerful over me. It takes a lot of humility and a lot of faith in the strength of the "me" that I have honed through the years. I am not the Eunice that some might envision me to be. There is definitely MORE to what a majority of these people think that they understand of me. I am complicated. The conclusion that you have figured me out will never be true because I,myself, haven't figured out who EUnice really is.

She constantly evolves, she constantly strives to become better and she constantly proves a point. Matalino din ako... Please don't underestimate me because I know when people do. It hurts me, deeply and badly when I am boxed into a definition that I never imagined myself to be defined with. I get hurt... I may not be as transparent as the people that you know but If you'll only take some time to really know me, maybe you'll find out that I am a treasure.

After 23 years, I am definitely better. More scarred, more bruised but more ready to learn and to love. Looking forward to my 24th... I know the good things are beginning to come.

Transformers

It was one helluva flick! I mean, I am not really a fan of Transformers... When I was a kid, I used to often think about how silly it was to actually give a damn about the lives of robots or of uhmm, DNA-based robots or whatever it is they want to call them, but this film surely "TRANSFORMED" me into a believer. That's of course with great thanks to Bumblebee who played the right song at the right time, The "Drive" and "Baby Come Back" moments were just sooo damn funny in a "kilig" kind of way. ANd just like what I told Joan while Optimus Prime was doing his thing, "It is unbelievable that I am actually having a teeny weeny crush on a ROBOT, for crying out loud!"

Of course, a film will never be complete without the mushy-gooey-silly-moment-kung-moment scenes [i.e. trying to reach for each other's hands habang nagtatalsikan ang mga bakal sa paligid] and if I may quote that hot girl who, I think, is now the object of hatred and jealousy of a lot of women and the object of affection of a lot of men... "NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I AM GLAD I GOT IN THE CAR WITH YOU." Un na. Cars bring out the sweet side of all couples, or of couples in denial, or of secret lovers or of uhmm... basta.

Anyway, on our way home, Ces, Joan and I were kind of talking about how odd it is that the "antagonists" intelligently chose to transform into WAR VEHICLES while the "protagonists" chose to transform into "PA-CUTE" vehicles which are of course typical of bidas. At sabi nga ni Ces, MABUTI NAMAN WALANG NAG-DECIDE na maging SUBMARINE kasi kamusta naman sya nun naglalabanan na, and all that silly robot can say would be, "Come on, let's get it on... [nakita ang lack of water] OH SHIT." Tawa na lang kami ng tawa inside the car. Mabuti naman at di pinili ni BUmblebee na mag-transform into the BARBIE Bike of the kid's mother, laughtrip un... all he could way would be, "Uhmm, guys I'm sorry, I can't go any faster... Uh-oh"

So, in the end, I am glad we decided to catch that 11 o'clock showing last night, amidst all the asarans and the tuksuhans that i had to endure because of the now infamous "boyfriend". It was a refreshing end to a tiring week and it was something we can continue to talk about until uhmm, Monday, I guess.

SO thank you to the Human RIghts people for temporarily adopting us, thank you to "the boyfriend" for the invite and thank you to Ces for the ride home.

Saya.

The Economics of Law

Thank you Evelyn Chua for the invitation to give a talk on the "different facets of the study of law"... Thank you Ley La Salle members for being so accommodating, thank you for the participation. Wow, I'm a celebrity. haha.

Looking forward to receiving our pictures.

Great.

Another kilig moment that I am not a part of. Badtrip. Happy for my friend, bad trip for me. Pero sige, happy na rin.

Sabi ni Elliot, masyado daw misteryoso ang mga blog entries ko kaya di nya magets un iba, ang ibig sabihin lang nun Elliot, nagpapanggap ako na may nangyayari sa buhay ko. Brother, sabi ko naman sa'yo e, dapat magkwentuhan tayo uli next time.

Transformers na. Wala parin akong time manood ng sine. Kelan ako naging ganito ka-loser? SOCIAL LIFE ZERO. Epekto ng ubo, sipon at panaka-nakang lagnat.

Di ko na makakalimutan magdala ng jacket. Ayoko na mangyari uli un nangyari kahapon. Hassle.

Pag Minamalas ka Nga Naman [Sineswerte ka After]

Di na'to kaartehan na sakit, I really am sick. BADTRIP. My talk's tomorrow. Pagminamalas ka nga naman.

I went home early last night because I felt like I was gonna faint any moment [thanks Ces for giving me a ride]...Due to the unlikeliness of my being at home early, my parents were so happy to see me. I think the last time they saw me awake was last Sunday. My dad said, "Pinag-uusapan ka lang namin ng Mommy mo kanina, naglolokohan kami na baka di ka naman talaga pumapasok... Buti naman at nandito ka ngayon para sagutin ang katanungan na yan..." Tawa lang ako ng tawa. Medyo nag-alala naman sila when I told 'em that I wasn't feeling well, at nang tinanong ko kung nasan ang dinner ang sabi ng dad ko, "May sakit man o wala, isa lang talaga ang sureball na bisyo ng anak ko... [grins]" Hay naku, thanks talaga dad ha. Pero bumawi naman sya when they were about to go to bed, "Good night Tabachoy [don't mind the name-calling], sa wakas nagkakwentuhan tayo ulit."

Aww no? Well, I have a very loving family. Mapanglait, pero loving. =P

UPDATES

I am sick. Not the normal "insane me" sick but it's more like, "lalagnatin-yata-ako-may-sipon-pa-ako-ang-ginaw" sick. Must be the weather, must be my excessive dancing last Saturday at the Back to School Party, but the point is, I am finding it hard to concentrate today. I even got mad at my sister for unintentionally waking me up thus resulting to my difficulty to go back to sleep at freaking 6 in the morning. Rant, Rant, rant...

Last night, Ces made me search for the lyrics of "Love Team" by Itchyworms for reasons I cannot disclose in my blog, so here it is... just because I can't find it in my lazy self to start studyin at 4pm.

LOVE TEAM
Itchyworms

di naman talaga tayo magsinta
pero gusto nila
kahit ayaw mo bagay daw tayo
di naman totoo mga yakap mo
pang-eksena lamang ito
di mo lang alam
na nababaliw na’ko sa iyo
di ko na yata kaya to
ang aking lihim na pakay
ay ang lahat ng ito’y gawing tunay

[chorus]
Sana wag mong sisihin
kung di ko kayang pigilin
sabi mo na mahal mo ‘ko
ngunit di naman seryoso
sana magkasingkulay
ang drama at tunay na buhay ko
ang tanging pag-asa ko
ay nasa tambalang ito

Sinungaling ka
kapag may tao ay nilalambing mo ko
pero pag wala ay sumasama ng turing mo sa ‘kin
ay parang haning bitin na bitin
di nila alam na sa dulo ng tagpo
di na patok ang linya ko
nag-iiba ang iyong asta
hanggang sa susunod na eksena

[chorus]
Sana wag mong sisihin
kung di ko kayang pigilin
sabi mo na mahal mo ‘ko
ngunit di naman seryoso
sana magkasingkulay
ang drama at tunay na buhay ko
ang tanging pag-asa ko
ay nasa tambalang ito

[instrumental]

Tapos, nagsisisi ako na hinanap ko sya. Anyway, for the past days, Chris and I have been studying in Starbucks every morning and every single day, we always rant about having NO INCENTIVE in Law School. As to what "that incentive" we're actually looking for is, I'll leave it to your imagination. CLUE? Hindi GRADES. So, I am for the nth time reminded that well, I am in need of human warmth. Literally and figuratively. Technically meron naman sana kaya lang... TECHNICALLY un. =P

By now, you probably already realized that this blog entry is not meant to make sense. That embodies my life right now, nothing makes real sense. All are but BLURRED images. Drama.

Pero masaya ako. Sa mga nagtatanong, don't worry masaya naman ako. Salamat.

At dahil dyan, MAY JOKE ako.

Ang nagmamahal with UNREQUITED LOVE ay parang Beneficiary ng LIFE INSURANCE.
Kasi, ang benefit na paglaya ay dadating lang kapag NAMATAY na ang INSURED. =P

Japhet called me last night to check on me. Laughtrip. Pero Japh, pag may nangyaring masama sa akin, kasalanan mo. [wink wink]

I am so excited to finally see Sam and Nate on Saturday for their first class in Ateneo. Both of my friends are gonna be taking their MBA and well, we're gonna see more of each other, at least once a week. Nate is my eternal Stanford and well, Sam is my eternal Samantha. As for me, I still maintain that I am living a CARRIE BRADSHAW-ish life.

To that girl who said she loved my hosting last Saturday, thank you. It meant something coming from someone I don't know.

Lastly, my talk in La Salle that didn't push through last week is gonna push thourh [keeping fingers crossed for them] this Friday, the working title's "THE ECONOMICS OF LAW" and i'll be the sole speaker. Wish me luck. I hope to not discourage the legal management students form going to law school...

A Little Time

Your emotions might be erratic, and as a result you may be feeling jumpy and skittish, Eunice. It is best that you make the effort to put a limit on how far to let this energy take you. Keep your thoughts to yourself instead of processing them aloud for everyone else to hear. Keep a damper on things or else you are likely to put your foot in your mouth at the worst possible time.

It seems like you have fewer opportunities available right now, but this is really a great chance to zero in on what's best for you. The stars simply wanted to accelerate things for you by eliminating a few options.

Let a promising encounter stand on its own, at least for now. You may be eager to follow up, but savor it a bit instead. The stars say giving it a little time only makes it better.

Di ko na Naco-control...

For some weird reason, the news is spreading like a forest fire sooooo... sa mga nagtatanong kung totoo. Err, technically totoo. haha.

Anyway, may bago nanaman akong joke...

Ang LOVE di yan INSURABLE, kahit na may risk at pwede mag-cause ng damage...

KASI...

TO LOVE IS TO GAMBLE.

[Kamot Ulo]

image from POSTSECRET

Dear Eunice Zuleika,
Here is your love horoscope
for Monday, June 25:

That person may seem completely perfect, and you might just be ready to launch a campaign, making your case like you would in a job interview. How about treating them as the candidate instead?

Coupled up, but ready to mingle? Talk to friends about the latest activities and hot spots. Better yet, why not do a little reconnaissance work about what's new and happening yourself? The response will be excellent.

My Daily Tarot

The Four of Swords card suggests that my power today lies in recovery. Our mutual losses or experience deserve to be acknowledged or remembered with dignity, honor, and respect even as we regroup to move forward. I am willing to work on forgiveness and letting go of the past in order to find peace. It's time to give it a rest. I am empowered by stillness an

Due to Insistent Public Demand

Here are my very own, QUOTABLE QUOTES from last Saturday's Back to School Party

Q: If you were a subject in the law school, what subject would you be and why?
Euns: I'll be INTERNATIONAL ECONOMIC LAW because if i'm International, you can bring me anywhere and just like ECONOMICS, I can SUPPLY all your DEMANDS.

Q: If you were a professor from the law school, who would you be and why?
Euns: I'll be Atty. Candelaria because no matter how prepared you think you are, when you look into my eyes, mawawala na lahat... And just like his readings, I can keep you up all night.

Q: Use a legal maxim to convince the searcher to choose you.
Euns: Res ipsa loquitur [The thing speaks for itself]... Need I say more?

Q: Kung part ka ng Consti ano ka at why?
Euns: I'm the Declaratory Principles, kasi I can direct you.

*I was the host but to inspire the searchees I sort of gave them examples on how to answer the questions.

UNPUBLISHED Q & A:

Q: Which body part do you most frequently use in the law school?
Euns: my LIPS. [insert whatever it is that fills your imagination] ... pero syempre sasabihin ko, kasi I recite all the time. =P

Q: Saan mo maihahambing ang love na term sa law school?
Euns: Ang love parang TORTS... kasi pag may FAULT or NEGLIGENCE pwedeng magkaroon ng liability for damages... KAHIT WALANG PRE-EXISTING CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATION.