Paano mo papatayin si Eunice?

Warning: This is not a feel good entry. Yes I am human and yes, I sometimes get hurt.

“Ako alam ko kung paano papatayin si Eunice, mansanas. Gagamit ka ng mansanas tapos ilalagay mo sa bibig nya.”

It was an unexpected banter and I obviously felt like I was back in high school. I felt like a loser, worse I felt like an unappreciated kid. I sometimes think of how people talk about me behind my back, I often wonder how people describe me when I can’t hear them and I think about the sincerity of people when they give me assuring compliments of how pleasant a person I am. I never fully believed them because at the back of my mind, I think of my imperfections… and these aren’t few. One of my biggest fears I have is that people don’t see the things that I have to offer because all they see is a funny fat woman. Not that it’s totally a bad thing, it’s just frustrating.

Tonight, I got reminded of that day when one of my classmates in high school called me “Baboy” and all I was able to do was silently cry in class. I got reminded of that day when I accidentally heard another guy schoolmate talking about me, saying…” Si Eunice? Ung baboy? Un matabang un?” and I had to run to the washroom to calm myself down because of embarrassment. I don’t hate them, I never did, and in fact these people are good friends of mine now… I easily forgive because I know that they didn’t mean to hurt me. But it’s too bad that I never forget. Not because of hatred for them but because these moments forever scarred me. I know I should lose weight; I get reminded every time I look at myself in the mirror. I live with myself you know. I’m never enough. I’m never complete until I lose these pounds I guess. Kung nakakapayatl lang sana ang pag-iyak.

I felt like a loser and unfortunately, even the most mouth-watering cake didn't do the trick. I still ate a few bites; it’s ironic that he tried to appease me by bribing me with a cake. He was right, he did kill me with that.

CANDY

NAKAKAMISS KAYO!!

Euns: Koks! Make me smile now na! Miss you much. Goddamn MIDTERMS' making me grumpy.
Koks: Come over! Got candy.
Euns: Where you at? Im coming! Hehe.

Shem: Goodluck din sayo. We're Duh Perm, we're TAG ENAG.

Pi: Euns, mag-blog ka naman!

AWKWARD CONVERSATION:
Euns: Rimo, you're freaking me out.
Remo: I'm a freak. I will freak you left and right. [bedroom voice]
Euns: Err, Rimo... that didnt sound right.

---------------
image from POSTSECRET

CONFIRMED

Kapag gwapo ang mga tao sa room, PANGIT ANG EXAM. Err, scratch that. Kapag kasama ko sa kwarto [that didnt sound right] ang aking Fleeting Crush, Pangit ang Exam. Grr.

In case you guys havent noticed, my Blog is slowly turning into some kind of a "SOCIETY PAGE" ala law school. I always end up talking about the people I interact with. MALAMANG. Kapag ang isang blogger ay TINATAMAD ng MALUPIT to come up with INTELLECTUALLY-STIMULATING articles, the blogger always ends up telling stories about his/her life. Ganun ako. I write for the sake of writing and sige na nga, "DOCUMENTATION". I find pleasure in reading my past enries and laugh at how unbelievably shallow I was... err, I AM.

OLATS ANG CRIM PRO. Gone are the days that I can smile and say, "Ayos, tapos na ang exam." I almost always feel sucky. Sucky recits, sucky exams, sucky social life. Whoever said "You can't have it all." actually had "You can't have anything if you're in law school." in mind.

Si Hazel kinailangan nya talaga ako kausapin tungkol sa kanyang struggle to convince herself that the "APPLE OF HER EYES" is gay. Why? Ayon sa kanya, "NAKAKAPGOD MAGKA-CRUSH SA KANYA." Ayun, tama. Pag napapagod ka na isipin mo na lang na un crush mo BAKLA. Way better. Diba Haze? :|

Di naman NEGA lahat today. [NEGA? SHARON CUNETA? NegaStar?] Sabagay natawa naman kami kay Posio tonight e. Sa kanyang mga thigh-slapping kwentos and words of wisdom.

"Sa Finals, babagsak naman talaga e. Ang mga prof, mambabagsak at mambabagsak din yan. Relax lang." - Jake Posio

Salamat Posio, that was encouraging.

Pahabol: From now on, Patty shall be called Sak. Why? Short for Patty Sakristan. Astig ka Posio, ikaw ang aming guest star tonight sa aming daily Talk Show. Apir.

Ayun pala naman.

Horoscope:

Sometimes a friend's input provides some much-needed perspective. Is it possible you're projecting something you're not aware of when it comes to love? Ask someone with a kind and honest heart.

Pre-CRIM Pro Ecstacy

Ewan ko ba kung bakit ganito ka-lala ang mga pangyayari sa buhay ko. I went to school to study for Crim Pro and well i got to accomplish that... and more.

Umpisa pa lang sablay na. I texted Ana while I was on my way to Starbucks to ask her if she wants me to pick her up so we can just go to school together for the mass. She didnt reply to my message to i assumed that we'd just meet up at Starbs first since it was only 'round 5pm and the mass is at 6pm. WHen i got out of mah ride, I brisk-walked my way to Starbs only to be welcomed by Ana who thought i was "imposing" the picking her up. We then ended up going back inside with no table to "come home" to because Ana left her table to wait for me. Ayos.

After a few minutes, we decided to go to school. Ok naman. Went to the library, to Mass... then Mongkok at Powerplant for dinner. Lea and Joan concidentally decided to have dinner at Mongkok too so i got reminded of Thea's story about Lea.

Thea: Nakakatawa talaga un blockmate nyo. Si Lea.
Patty and Euns: Lea? (since we have to Lea's in the block)
Thea: Uhmm. Basta kasi kanina bigla na lang nya hiniritan si Ona... "Ona, mag-isa ka lang sa Dorm? Nagdadala ka ba ng lalaki don?"
Patty: Buti na lang di sya nasapak ni Ona.
Thea: Tapos tinanong nya ko... "Paano kayo uuwi, BMW?"
Euns: BMW?
Thea: By Means of Walking.
Euns and Patty: Definitely Lea Santos.

Anyway, after dinner we went back to Starbucks to resume our studying for Crim Pro. After a few minutes, I think, I went to the washroom and when I got out, I was halted by a "mala-SHAKE RATTLE and ROLL SCREAM". People froze. Then we were welcomed by the sight of CJ running towards Patty.. she almost tripped. Seryoso, tumigil ang takbo ng oras sa Starbucks... for a second i saw panic in the eyes of the Korean customers sa Sofa. Si Ralph at Chingky ay nanatiling nakatayo lamang. Sino ang dahilan ng HAVOC na ito? Walang iba kundi si Kyle. Bakit?

Kasi ang magaling na si Kyle, tumayo sa harapan ni CJ sa labas ng Starbs [nakaupo kasi si CJ sa "carinderia" part of Starbucks, so nakaharap sa glass] at kumatok habang nakatingin na parang maligno. Panic attack talaga si CJ. Shemps, para sa aming di naman talaga directly involved, LAUGHTRIP lang sya. Si Kyle nga sa katarantahan, napalakad palayo sa Starbucks. Grabe.

Pero di pa don nagtapos ang string of kabaliwan na dulot ni Kyle. He sat kasi sa table namin at maya-maya ay may dumating na dalawang kalalakihan. Bigla na lang sya bumulong... "Artista yata un nasa likuran ni Ana, pumipirma ng Autograph e... kapatid ni Rannie Raymundo" Akala ko naman nagbibiro lang sila ni Patty but noooooo... totoo palang may karir un kapatid ni Rannie Raymundo. Payn. Pero ang nakakatawa ay ang kasama nya. Kasi may time na maingay talaga lahat ng tao, tapos nagkataon na when this "kasama of Rannie Raymundo's brother" called someone sa phone, tahimik na. So nun bigla na lang sya nagsalita ng malakas at sinabing, "Hello? Ma'am Something[di ko narinig o maalala un pangalan nun tinawagan nya e].. naayos ko na po.. Ayy, pwede po ba kay Ma'am Something?" nakita ko ang pag-angat ng mga ulo ng mga law students na nag-aaral. Sabay-sabay. Napukaw ang kanilang curiosity ng lalaking ito. Wala na. Nagtawanan na lahat. Kasi naman.

Last na...

Kyle: Pwede ba mag-file ng complaint ang prosecutor kahit na walang ibang tao na nagrereklamo for the crime?
Patty: Pwede yata. Diba Euns?
Euns: Oo, kasi wala naman nakalagay na prohibitione. Since People of the Philippines naman im assumin unless Private Crim pwede? (Tingin kay Kyle)
Kyle: Un halimbawa bigla na lang sya magdesisyon talaga na mag-file ng kaso?
Euns: Pag ganun? TOPAK un. Ano sya nagising na lang isang umaga tapos sabi nya, "Today, im gonna file a complaint."?
ANa: I am an eaver beaver prosecutor. I wanna file a case. [Maykakaiba pang tono]

[Natawa na lahat]

Di pa pala last... dumating kasi si Bingky tapos bigla na lang nya tinawag si Patty at natawa sila pareho. Syempre naman nagtaka kami ni Ana so sinabi samin ni Patty ang dahilan through a "note sa Post-it"...

Kasi kahapon sabi ni Ryan, un guy daw na kasama nun girl. Mukhang D.I.

Tiningnan ko sya at... totoo nga. [Not that there's anything wrong with being a Dance Instructor] Meron lang kasing AURA na parang uhmm, any moment bigla na lang sya magt-tango. Basta.

Bilang pagpapatuloy ng aking HOROSCOPE mania:

Dear Eunice,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Thursday, August 17:

The stars kick it up a notch. You are hot, hot, hot. Why sit at home wasting all that energy on your houseplants? Grab a friend and get out, even if it's only to a local coffee shop for some after-work lattes (decaf, of course).

Yihee Euns. May plano na. Lalaki na lang ang kulang.

JUICY HOROSCOPE

Dear Eunice,
Here is your horoscope
for Wednesday, August 16:

You're at the center of all the hustle and bustle in your increasingly busy routine. It may start to feel like just that -- routine -- but rest assured that all your actions have meaning and import, even the tiniest ones.

Is admiration a solid basis for a relationship? Who cares? It's more than promising for a delightful flirtation. Someone you like and know has the same feelings for you. It's time to exchange some witty repartee.

This connection with you-know-who might be effortless, but the long-term maintenance might mean more of a challenge. You think it's worth the sparks for the heat that you two can generate in the long run.

Pwede! Sabi ko nga kay Mel, partnership. Pwede academic o kaya emotional.

USAPANG MORE THAN LASING

Everything was great when we noticed Carlo's change in mood. Ces went to the washroom and our weird conversation began...

Eunice: Carlo, relax! Watcha movie.
Carlo: Parang bigla kasi akong hinabol ng pagod.
Eunice: (seryoso, tingin sa mga mata ni Carlo) di ka nakatakbo?
Carlo: (tingin kay Eunice, half-smile)
Eunice: Dapat nagtago ka na lang.
Carlo: (1/4 smile)
Eunice: (pause, tingin sa malayo, natawa) Na-imagine kita na pinapalo mo si PAGOD.
[moment of silence]

Continuation of the RC Dialogue

RC: Seryosong seryoso si Eunice. Sineseryoso nyo talaga un Crim Pro ha?
Eunice: Wag mo kakalimutan un all-black mo ha? Pati socks. [see previous entry as to why]
Patty: Ayos, Michael Jackson... kitang-kita edad mo RC ah?
Eunice: Ok na rin un all black kesa all-white... KUYA GERMS labas mo nun.
RC: (masarap na tawa)
Patty: Langya kayong dalawa. Euns, pinapatulan mo pa ha. Nagpapatulan pa kayo sa mga hirit.

Seryoso nakakabobo talaga ang law school. Partnership? Jus ko po. Mahirap na madali. Ewan ko ba.

May joke nga pala si Patty.

Patty: Bakit dahan-dahan binubuksan ni San Pedro (di ko rin gets kung bakit si San Pedro o baka mali lang un dinig ko...) un medicine cabinet?
Euns: Bakit?
Patty: Baka kasi magising un sleeping pills.
Euns: Ah. Sige, aral na.

Sabaw. Sabaw talaga mga utak ng mga tao.

Nega Nego.

Whatta way to start my MIDTERMS, the upperclassmen warned us about Nego but i didn't expect it to be this frustrating. I'm not gonna be a drama queen and accept it like a grown woman... not. It's so weird, i mean, i really did study for that exam and i was pretty confident that it wouldnt be as bad as what a lot of people say about it, but NO! Everybody felt dumb, it's like staring at the test questions and seeing hieroglyphics or something. Natapos ko, given na un, nasagutan ko, ang malaking tanong, TAMA BA ang SAGOT ko?! Oh well ROckwell. That's life bread knife. Bahala na banana.

Side kwento: I found a new source of joy. RC. He's unbelievably entertaining. A few days ago, we got to chat with him and he gave us the idea of wearing a Kamatayan costume for the exams. If you were there you would really laugh at how funny his whole idea is. From then on, i would always joke to him about it. Today, just before my Nego exam and his Poli Law exam, we had small talk.

Euns: Wow, you're wearing black. Is this the kamatayan costume?
RC: Oo nga e black. Pero next week totoo na, all-black pati medyas.
Euns: Pati eyeliner? (napaisip, "Bakit kaya pati medyas?")
RC: Oo, black din dapat pati medyas kasi kung white... MICHAEL JACKSON na un.
Euns: [laughtrip na at naisip, "Shem? Naalala mo ba nun tinutukso ka ni Pepe na Michael Jackson?]

Laughtrip na. I therefore conclude that RC is really funny. Apir tayo jan Mr. Posadas!


After Nego, napag-usapan namin ni Ana na umulan ng mga aesthetically-pleasing na kalalakihan sa mga rooms namin. Sabi nga nya, "Is this God's way of balancing everything?" Kasi kung olats ang exam, at least may lalaki. Haha. Ok ang logic namin diba? Kasi in my room, nandun ang aking si Fleeting Present Crush na mainitin ang ulo at ang BSB2 ni Melo. At well, mejo good-looking crowd nga, at ayon din naman kay Ana ay ganun din sa room nya. I therefore conclude na kung gwapo ang mga kasama mo sa room, MAHIRAP ANG EXAM.

In the evening, we went to Starbucks to study for Partnership. Rach and I got into a really funny conversation about how "needy" we can be for Inspiration in the law school. I told her that it would've been better if there was someone who'd give m a hug after that "hellish exam" and she nodded in agreement. Then she said something about her not finding anyone she knows yummy because they're younger, then i told her... "Ok na un, kahit PANAWID GUTOM lang." Then she started laughing. Yeah, it sounded hilarious and well, desperate. But that's the point! In the law school, you need to find ways to entertain yourself to keep your sanity in tact. This is my way. To be funny.

Last kwento na. Sa Starbucks, I was desperately trying to concentrate when I heard Bingky telling the barista at Starbs that she's ordering an ensaymada. I immediately understood it as a joke. However, the barista didnt really get it so after a few seconds, the aroma of an ensaymada being heated sort of startled us. It turned out that the barista took it seriously and well, he had no idea that she was just kidding. Ang ending, napilitan s Bingky na bilin ang ensaymada sa kahihiyan. Lesson of the day: Wag magbiro sa bago at pagod na barista.

Ito pa pala, Ralph bought kasi a pastry for Patty and Patty let me taste it. When she asked me what it tastes like i said, "Masarap, lasang pichi-pichi." Tawa lang sya ng tawa. E totoo naman. Masarap pero un nga ang lasa. Mahirap tanggapin kasi ang mahal e, 125 pesos un. It wasnt the right thing to say. Pero na-appreciate ko naman. Hehehe.

Pag-uwi ko sa bahay, sakto. Lumakas ang ulan at nag-brownout. Ayun na. Kaya ngayon pa lang ako mags-start uli magreview for Partnership. Good job Euns.

MORE "TESTS"

In the dark ages, how would Eunice Monsod die?

You would die of natural causes, at the ripe old age of 30.

'How would you die in the dark ages?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Pablo Picasso Pablo Picasso should paint your portrait. You are a totally unique person. You are usually the first one to adopt a new mode of thought or the latest fashion. Everyone looks up to you. You are friendly and easygoing with everyone you meet. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Eunice -- [adjective]: Extremely extreme! 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

eun's treasure is hidden ... In a pet cemetary

'Where did you bury your pirate treasure?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Which freaky subway person is Eunice?

The person who falls asleep on someone else's shoulder.

'Which freaky subway person are you?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Duh Perm Application Form

[by Yves]

1. Who is Junjun?
2. Who is Buknoy?
3. Are you a Blogger? (If yes, blog site: )
4. Nasaan ang bahay ng Duh Perm?
5. Name all the seniors.
6. Who is Perv/ Mean? What is his universal sign?
7. Do you have three-way?
8. What is Hazel’s nickname?
9. Sinong grupo ang katensyon ng Duh Perm?
10. Whose brainchild is the main plot of Duh Perm’s presentation for Theo?
11. Who is Kamahalan? Where is Kamahalan’s hacienda?
12. Who are the great dissenters?
13. Are you fond of pictorials?
14. Where do most of Duh Perm’s members’ birthdays celebrated?
15. Who discovered Maita’s fondness for glittery tops?
16. Name Duh Perm’s Magkakapatid.
17. Who usually computes everybody’s share for the bill?
18. Can you drive, or are you a Salud?
19. Whose line is “strawberry fields forever”?
20. Where do the seniors usually have pictorials?
21. Do you like planning parties?
22. Who is the original kulot na salot?
23. What was Kiboy’s speed when Duh Perm went home from Batangas?
24. Who is Miss Consti?
25. Who is the queen of shorts-ka-pa shorts?

SENTI na nga.

"Why do I keep hittin' my head with a hammer? Because it feels so good when i stop."
- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

[insert Eunice's sigh]