The Law and Economics of Lust, Love and Life

Lew, para sa'yo 'to...

Sa totoo lang, nakakamiss talaga ang Captain Planet. Naalala ko dati pinapantasya ko pa na maging un girl na parang dyosa. Minsan din inis na inis ako kasi parang ang illogical, bakit di na lang si Captain Planet lagi un lumaban agad? Nagmumukha lang tuloy na incapable un mga planeteers.

OKELAMPA

Para din yang Maskman na ang stand ko talaga ay dapat inuuna nilang patayin si OKELAMPA1 (ito pala ang tamang spelling, buong buhay ko akala ko talaga UKIRAMBA!), kasi kung wala sya di lalaki un mga halimaw.

SHAIDER

Tapos sa Shaider, dapat di nila pinababayaan si Alexis na matawag un Babylos para natatalo nila.

Pareng Lew, ikaw ang inspirasyon niyong entry na'to... isa ka ding source of joy. Sana may next sem pa tayo para sa ating *plano. (winks)

---------------
1 Okelampa - insectoid which fires a monster enlarging beam

Silent Play

It's my music playing
games with silence;
Continuing to strum
the strings out
of tune. I hear
silence... Fingers
plucking, following
the rhythm that dictates
not where to go. Stop
not and flow. Play
amidst the craving
for rest.

------------
image from Postsecret

DISORDER IN THE COURT

Distilled from
Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History
by Charles M. Sevilla

These things were actually stated and recorded by court reporters.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy."
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at the time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
Q: None.
A: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Forgiveness...

Yesterday, I got to hangout with some members of DuhPerm. Thanks to their being persistent [translation: calling my landline IMMEDIATELY after sending the text message] and patience [translation: threatening me to FOREVER be labeled as a LOSER which I cannot bear for only JV is worthy of such adulation.hehe. PEACE!], they didn't give up on me when I wasnt able to reply to their text messages. They bullied me into saying that "Yes, I'll go." Well, I don't regret going because after more than two weeks of not seeing them, i realized that I needed to reconnect because WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT DORTS' WEDDING! haha.

At the end of our Friends marathon and watching the funny slash "deja vu-ish" Just Friends [ehem, Salud.. why is the word FRIEND soooo present in this picture?], we decided to go to Starbucks to discuss our "wedding plans". Kiboy had to remind us that well, we are not the ones who are getting married. Our reply was, "STILL!"

What did I get from this "Slumber party-ish" meet-up? Besides quality time with friends, I also got acquainted to SAMANTHA JAMES. This is Anna Faris' role in Just Friends and let's just say she sort of resembles the craziness of someone really, really close to me. Hint: Basta kulot salot [hehe]. What made Samantha James more than memorable? It's her INGENIOUS song in the movie. Laughtrip kung laughtrip, it failed to be an LSS but this is the first time that I'm hoping I get LSS-ed by a song. It's totally fun fun fun.

Forgiveness - Samantha James

Forgiveness is more than saying sorry
Forgiveness means accepting people's flaws (flaws, flaws, flaws)
To forgive is divine
So lets have a glass of wine
And have make up sex
Until the end of time (time, time, time)
Forgiveness does not mean compromising
Let's forgive and forget
And solve this African debt
Just like the Cheshire cat
That says, "mreow!! you're running out of time!"(time, time, time)

(guitar solo - instrumentals)

Forgiveness (You'll always be fat to me, Chris!)
Forgiveness (Goddammit, come on Dusty!)
Forgiveness (Not happy!!)
Forgiveness (Hello Joyce? Joyce?)

Oh my God!!

Then said, "Jesus.. Father forgive them for they know not what they do!"

If you haven't forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others?
I won't apologize
I don't forgive you
You can forgive, but you can't forget

Where are you?
--------
[emphasis supplied]

Plus, the members of DuhPerm are in consensus that Chris Klein's character reminds us of someone we know. It's not in a negative kind of way [diba? diba?], don't blame us if we think alike. Ehem.

JAMIE SMILES
by Dusty

Intro

Bm A E

E|-------------------------------------------------------
B|--3-----3--------2-----2-----0-----0-----0-----0-------
G|--4-----4--------2-----2-----1-----1-----1-----1-------
D|-----4-----4--------2-----2-----2-----2-----------2----
A|--2--------------0--------------------------2----------
E|-----------------------------0-------------------------

Bm A E
E|-------------------------------------------------------
B|--3-----3--------2-----2h3-2--0-----------0------------
G|--4-----4--------2------------1------1h2-----1---------
D|-----4-----4--------2--2h4-2------2--------------------
A|--2--------------0-------------------------------------
E|------------------------------0------------------------

Verse

Bm A E
E|-------------------------------------------------------
B|--3-----3--------2-----2-----0-----0-----0-----0-------
G|--4-----4--------2-----2-----1-----1-----1-----1-------
D|-----4-----4--------2-----2-----2-----2-----------2----
A|--2--------------0--------------------------2----------
E|-----------------------------0-------------------------
When Jamie smiles it takes me miles

Bm A E A
E|-----------------------------------------------------------
B|--3-----3--------2-----2-----0----------0-----------------2
G|--4-----4--------2-----2-----1-----1h2-----2--1--------2---
D|-----4-----4--------2-----2--------------------------------
A|--2--------------0---------------2-------------------0-----
E|-----------------------------0-----------------------------
from where i feel unsure

Bm A C#/Dbm

E|----------------------------------------------0--2--5------
B|--3-----3--------2-----2-----5----5--------3---------------
G|--4-----4--------2-----2-----6----6------------------------
D|-----4-----4--------2-----2-----6----6--4------------------
A|--2--------------0-----------4-----------------------------
E|-----------------------------------------------------------
When Jamie smiles I realise

Chorus:

[A] [G]
She's no ordinary girl
[F#/Gbm]
Mmmmmmmmm
[D] [A]
No ordinary girl
[G] [F#/Gbm] [Dm]
Oohhhhh

Verse:

[Bm] [A] [E]
When Jamie smiles just for a while
[Bm] [A] [E]
I feel so far away
[Bm] [A] [C#/Dbm] [D*]
When Jamie smiles I realise

Chorus:

[A] [G]
She's no ordinary girl
[F#/Gbm]
Oohhh no
[D] [A]
No ordinary girl
[G] [F#/Gbm]
Oohhh no
[F] [G]
No ordinary girl
[A] [G] [F#/Gbm]
Noooo
[D] [A]
No ordinary girl
[G] [F#/Gbm] [Dm]
oooohhhhhh

Solo/Riff.... thing:
(Background plays verse)

E|-------0------0-----------0--------0-----0----0---0--------
B|----0--------0--0-------0--------0-------------------------
G|-4--------2---------2/4--------4------6-----7---6---4------
D|-----------------------------------------------------------
A|-----------------------------------------------------------
E|-----------------------------------------------------------

E|--------------------------0--------------------------------
B|-----------------------0-------5\3-3/7--5p3-5p3------------
G|-------------2----2/4---------------------------4p2h4------
D|-0-2-3/4---------------------------------------------------
A|-----------------------------------------------------------
E|-----------------------------------------------------------

Verse:
(Solo/Riff played along)
[Bm] [A] [E]
When Jamie smiles it takes me miles
[Bm] [A] [E]
From where I feel unsure
[Bm] [A] [C#/Dbm] [D*]
When Jamie smiles I realise

Chorus/Outro:

[A] [G]
She's no ordinary girl
[F#/Gbm]
Oohhh no
[F] [G]
No ordinary girl
[A] [G] [F#/Gbm]
Oohhh no
[F] [G]
No ordinary girl
[A] [G] [F#/Gbm]
Oohhh no
[F] [G]
No ordinary girl
[A] [G] [F#/Gbm]
Ooooooooooh
[F] [G]

(Repeat until the end, finish with a strum on [A])

Nakakatamad mag-upload.

Eh kasi nga... SUMMER!

so I went back to my old summer habit of going to the gym. Astig, nandun parin ang mga taong naiwan ko nang ako'y nagpaka-mongha bilang isang estudyante ng abogasya. Isang linggo na, pero sa tingin ko mahihirapan ako bawiin ang isang buong taon ko ng pagmamataba. Kamusta naman?

JLo: Anong nangyari sayo?
Ate Cya: Bakit ka lumaki ng ganyan?
Kuya Ton: Ok ka na dati e, bakit pinabayaan mo nanaman?
Gym buddy: Kasi, sumexy ka na un, mag-uumpisa ka nanama ulit ngayon.

Uhmm, guys yeah. alam ko. MATABA ako. SALAMAT.

Mom: [during dinner] Paano ka papayat nyan, kung kumakain ka parin?

Ah-eh, dapat ba tumitigil ng pagkain? Ano gagawin ko, iinom lang ng tubig? Ano ba ito!

Gym guy: [nang nakita akong nakaupo sandali] Kuya Ton o, nagpapahinga.
Euns: [dramatic] Tao lang ako no?! Ikaw kaya mag-exercise ng 3 oras na walang pahinga, tignan natin! [syemps, nagkakabiruan lang naman]

HABANG NAGKAKAKWENTUHAN ANG MGA GYM MATES
Another guy: Kaya nga pag-umiihi ako, mejo ganito na ako umihi. [flexing muscles] syempre mejo matagal un, mabuti nang mapansin ng iba na malaki na ang muscles ko.
Euns: Ah ok. [perv!]
Another guy: e ang mga babae kayang nagg-gym paano umiihi? Di ko alam e. [silence]
Euns: Obviously, di ko un sasagutin. No comment.

But the good thing is, I was able to reconnect with some people from my past. Some of my former schoolmates were also there. Ang saya, kumbaga parang highschool reunion. hehe.

At ito pa. Merong isang cutie sa gym. Oo isa lang syang PWEDE. But nooooooooo! He's gay. DI halata, pero according to Yvonne, he's gay. Euns, ISTAP!

Ssaya-saya talaga mag-gym.

Holy Week. Holy Weak. Holy Wicked.

Mom: So, saan tayo pupunta?
Eunice: Akala ko Zambales?
Mom: Saan doon?
Eunice: Uhmm, sa Rama International Beach Resort?
Mom: Napa-reserve mo na ba?
Eunice: Di pa nagrereply. [Checkin email]
Mom: Ma, wala na daw silang room na ready for occupancy.
Mom: Paano na?
Eunice: *shoulder shrug

Therefore, we ended up going to Batangas. That's after crossing out Caylabne Bay in Cavite [just went there], Subic [nakakasawa na!] and Pangasinan [ang layo! un Mercedes ang gagamitin, PAWIS STEERING]. We at first decided to go to La Luz because a lot of people have been raving about it [that's according to my Dad]. I had no idea what it looked like but since it's also in San Juan, Batangas, I was thinking .. "What could go wrong? I've been there last week right?" [See my Kabayan Beach Resort entry] I even researched on the net and the pictures looked maginificent. So let's go sago ang drama ng pamilya.

Are We There Yet?

Funny Overheard Comment:
Manong: Ang maganda dito [pertaining to La Luz]... madaming puno.
[with that ako-lang-ang-nakadiskubre-nitong-characteristic-na-ito-matagal-ko-ito-pinagisipan-look]

(my family immediately walked past the manong and began to laugh. Ah manong, maraming puno. Bakit po di tayo nagpunta na lamang sa gubat? Iyon na ang maganda dun? Maraming puno? Payn.)

After three hours, we finally arrived in La Luz. We were eager to finally be one with the beach, but nooooooooooooooooo. The beach was sooo crowded. This cannot be, my family's a peace-loving family... yeah, it's another way of saying that we're elitists. My mom, the numero unong allergic sa ibang tao, immediately had negative vibes. Pero sige, if they have great accommodations, we might still reconsider. (Un)fortunately, puno na rin, therefore... we left La Luz[er] faster than we could say, "Next please."

Dad: San ka ba nagpunta dito last week?
Eunice: (softly) Sa Kabayan po.
Dad: Ok ba dun?
Eunice: Ok naman. (galing sa ilong) Lord please, wag na po dun. Gusto ko po naman ng IBANG LUGAR. Sayang naman ang bakasyon.
Dad: Sige puntahan natin. Ok naman pala e.
Eunice: Maliit lang un.
Dad: Edi baka konti lang un tao.
Eunice: Sige po. Damn it.

So, we went to Kabayan Beach resort. There was no more Kubo that's free for occupancy. INSERT EVIL LAUGH HERE.

Then I remembered Kiko saying that Laiya Coco Grove is a way nicer beach resort. So I innocently told my parents, "Balita ko ok daw sa Laiya Coco Grove" without mentioning that it's also more expensive. INSERT YET ANOTHER EVIL LAUGH HERE. Since we were all fastly transforming into a bitchy beach-starved family, my dad went straight to Laiya Coco Grove.

Dad: Meron pa ba kayong free na room or cottage o kahit ano?
Receptionist: Sir booked na po kami hanggang Sunday e.
Dad: Sige na, Ibigay nyo na un Stoproom. [something to that effect, apparently it's a "technical term" used to name the "secret extra rooms" for possible VIP guests"]
Receptionist: Eh sir, wala na po e. Sandali lang po. [by this time, i knew my dad's dropping of this technical term worked! yihaa!] Sir, meron po kami pero un Pool-side cottage po.
Dad: Sige kahit ano pa yan.
Receptionist: Late check-in po.
Dad: Ok lang, i understand.
Receptionist: Sige po sir, pwede na po kayo mag-lunch ng twelve tapos check in na po kayo ng 1...

And so, our vacation started.

Dad: Anak, di namin nadala un isang camera. Diba may cam naman un MP4 player mo?
Eunice: Sige po kukunin ko mamaya sa bag ko.
Mom: Ngayon na... para habang maaga pa makapag-take na ng pics. Tapos mamaya, wala na tayo iintindihin. [Yeah, just when you thought im the only camwhore in my family]
Eunice: Sige po. Patay.
(after a few minutes)
Eunice: Ma, Dad.. wag kayo maghy-hysterical. (long pause) Nabasag ko un screen nun MP4 player ko. Pero ok pa naman sya, ipapagawa ko na lang.
[tumatawa na lang un Bro at Sis ko dahil matagal ko na sinabi sa kanila at they think i looked ridiculous while saying my "wag mag-hysterical" speech]

--------------
Flashback while my Mom, Sister and I were shopping for our swimsuits. Kakalabas lang namin ng fitting room.

Hazel: Ate, baligtad un damit mo. (bulong)
Mom: Ay ano ba yan, baligtad. (Malakas)
Eunice: Oo na, di naman halata wag na kayo maingay.
Mom: (tawa, tingin sa Kahera kasi nasa Counter kami nun) Baligtad un damit.
Eunice: Ma?!
Mom: Jan ka na magpalit, baligtarin mo na lang, naka-tube ka naman sa loob e.(malakas)
Eunice: DI nila sana mahahalata kung di nyo nilalakasan! Hmmp. (with a resigned look)

FUN FUN FUN.

Laiya Coco Grove Getaway: A Preview

ahh, finally... i took a real vacation.

bumming around and well, *sand-slash-sunbathing.

while looking at a seemingly endless sea...

I CRUSH YOU!

I checked my long-time crush's friendster profile and VOILA! He's SINGLE again. Therefore, I'm thinking of stepping up. Because he's been dating skinny women, I have to wow him with my personality. Bwahaha. I need DIVINE INTERVENTION. Kadiri! I've been crushing on this guy since I was 17... that's almost 5 years. Kasi naman, kasi naman. He's now an engineer and he owns his own company... plus, he's incredibly cute in a more mature kind of way.

Which brings me to a thought which isnt in anyway related to what i've been talking about. Why would you call your parlor, "BE BEAUTIFUL FOR HIM"? Seriously? Why would you want to narrow your target market and be politically incorrect at the same time? Sabagay, catchy nga. Still!

THE HONGKONG CHRONICLES [SOURCE OF JOY CONVERSATION]

jersee_d_goddess : koks!
jnograles : halloo! thought you're in zambales
jersee_d_goddess : not yet.. tomorrow pa. jersee_d_goddess : at ikaw, nasan ka?
jnograles : just got back from hong kong. injured myself after some stupid antics hahahaha
jersee_d_goddess : haha, what exactly did u do?
jnograles : hmmmm i ran up the diagonal column up to the second storey of the hong kong museum of art... then i remembered that i couldn't fly so i landed on my knees and rolled towards the bay
jersee_d_goddess : ouch...
jnograles : more like moronic heehee
jersee_d_goddess : that had to come from you.. if i say moronic, it's like hittin two birds in one stone, me as the other bird [in a different setting]..
jnograles : hehehehehehe jnograles : i'll share some pics with you...
jersee_d_goddess : alrighty.

jnograles : first off, my breakfast... every tour package includes breakfast. of course, they don't explicitly state that breakfast is in your hotel. so they gave me breakfast stubs for a fastfood joint a kilometer away.
jersee_d_goddess : oook... and because you had to travel a km, you really had to take that picture.
jnograles : well, eating something that looks like a face must be memorable or nightmarish
jersee_d_goddess : haha.. true..

jnograles : i walk through the fringes of kowloon bay and find myself in the avenue of stars.and then i go sightseeing. i see a star with name that is very uhmmm i dunno how to say it... bastos. yes, bastos.
jnograles : pakshet daw pangalan niya
jersee_d_goddess : and i have to give it to you for "paying attention"

jnograles : anyway, i finally reached the mall and the first shop that greeted me made me feel a little uneasy. i swear, i fear for my kids in the future...
jersee_d_goddess : wow, this is so cool. it's like a private travel show.. morphine generation?

jnograles : moving on, i suddenly felt the call of nature so i asked where the restrooms were. of course there was a big pause due to language and communication gaps.finally i figured out that the policeman was trying to tell me that the restrooms were at the basement. so i took the stairs to the basement and this is what i found at the staircase.

jnograles : you like? wait till you see the toilet.
jersee_d_goddess: mirrors?

jnograles : and so that's my hong kong story worth telling hehehe
jersee_d_goddess : god, your vacation's so you...
jnograles : did you like?
jersee_d_goddess : LOVE IT!
jnograles : hahahaha. feel free to post it at your blog hahahahaa
jersee_d_goddess : that was what i was gonna ask you nga e...you know me too well..
jnograles : hahahaha love you too eunice
jersee_d_goddess : im just gonna post it the way you narrated it.. full credit sa'yo!
jnograles : bwahahahahahaha
jersee_d_goddess : ayan, dahil summer, kaw muna ang aking "source of joy".. kasi si Paopao ay MIA.
jnograles : hehehehehe i'm proud to be bestowed that honor. btw, wanna see the SARS version of my breakfast?
jersee_d_goddess : sure..

jnograles : here's a pic of me kicking ass

jnograles : gonna have dinner lang euns see ya in a bit
jersee_d_goddess : aight koks..
jersee_d_goddess : later!

--------------

just like what I promised Koko,
i didnt edit anything and I posted the story, exactly the same way he narrated it.
LAUGHTRIP talaga!

Aww ang Sweet.

When I woke up around 11, [please dont even think that i wake up early in the morning, that's askin too much of me] I checked my email and found another READ ASAP Email from Mel.

Date: Tue, 11 Apr 2006 00:36:14 +0100 (BST)

From: "Melodie Ylagan"

Subject: READ ASAP!

To: jhersee33@yahoo.com, jersee_d_goddess@yahoo.com
Euns! Surprise visit tayo sa san pedro today! After
lunch! Magggym lang kami ni mums, tapos meet namin
kayo ni haze sa starbucks loft! Game ha? Call/text us
asap! Ü 09177956342

Send instant messages to your online friends
http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com

I immediately felt bad because I knew I couldnt come. I'm poor [i know, im politically incorrect] and I'm waiting for my mom to call because we're supposed to go shopping today. They even called me and Shem did a great job in almost convincing me to come. Kaya lang, DUTY CALLS and well, i've been sort of neglecting my being a daughter for the past months, therefore... I had to decline their really enticing offer to fetch me sa bahay.

Pag-uusapan daw ang kasal ni Dorts. Another occasion that I am totally looking forward to.We had a preview of how "extravagant" the wedding will be when Dorts one day came to class wearing her DIAMOND RING. Yeah, engagement ring's worth more than 500,000 pesos. Whoa! We wouldnt miss the wedding for the world. Striclty formal, I LIKE! And uhmm, although I don't like the feeling of being in a picture perfect wedding because it reminds me of how empty my lovelife is, well, Dorts is a newfound friend and her special day is worth the hassle. No not really a hassle, not close even. It's an excuse to be gorgeous.

Learned how to play Bamboo's Masaya, Barbie's High, Your Song by Parokya... I'm enjoying this new skill that I'm trying to cradle ha! If ever I get kicked out of law school, (God forbid!) I can continue my disrupted dream of becoming a celebrity through Pinoy Big Brother. Hahaha..

Disclaimer: When I say I know how to play, it just means that I know the chords and well, i can actually "attempt" to play them with occasional stopping and getting lost." But what the heck! At least...