Munchin' on Enticin'

Munchkins that arent worth
munchin, coffee that's not
worth drinkin. Milk that
changes your favorite
drink. Some enticing
things aren't as enticing
as they look.

Tanggap Ko Na

Tanggap ko na. I dont think i'll pass my Persons and Family Relations final exam. Scratch that. I will not pass the subject. Ang bigat sa loob.

We met up with Sir Vanni this afternoon to consult. Well, i think my recit grades are decent enough. Now i have to make sure that i'll get at least a 75 in the final exam if i wanna continue my being an Ateneo Law Student.

I got to find two really cute friends tonight in Starbucks. Their names are Grace and Sara... they're both chinese. Grace is 5 years old and Sara is 2 years old. I'm glad that i got to spend time with them, it's nice to be surrounded by so much innocence and optimism. T'was like therapy for me. Grace gave me a lecture on how to count in chinese and she instructed me to color the shapes that she drew. Sara is an adorable girl. She's only two but i think she's really smart. Hay. I love kids talaga. Sabi nga ni Miguel, "Magaling ka pala sa mga bata." Sa tingin ko nase-sense ng mga bata un mga kalungkutan ko. It's God's way of saying, "Hold on my child, i'm just here if you need Me." While i was observing them from afar, i got to write another "pseudo-poem". Ito nanaman ako, kinalimutan nanaman ang pag-aaral.

How do you capture innocence?
Through a stroke of color on paper.
How do you capture innocence?
through a helpless cry of a sweet child.
How do you capture innocence?
Through the eyes of an oblivious kid at work.
How do you capture innocence?
Through a baby's incoherent giggle.
How do you capture innocence?
Why would you want to capture something that's beautifuly free?
------------
The Purple Poem

I feel sad for my friend. We got to interact once tonight and he managed to let me know that he feels bad about a certain project that he had to submit in school. He feels like he didnt do well. I was askin him, "Bakit kasi di mo ginalingan?" then i had to stop. I cannot believe it came out of me, i felt like i was asking myself. I will not forget what he said, "Pupunta na lang ako sa isang isla tapos magpapakamatay na lang ako." It's such a sad statement. I didnt get the chance to talk to him about it but it bothered me the whole night. So i had to text him.

"Shemps di ko 'to nasabi sayo kanina nung sinabi mo na pakiramdam mo babagsak ka. Pakiramdam ko din babagsak ako pero if there's one thing that's keeping me from giving up, it's the fact that a lot of people believe in me. If it's worth anything, i want you to know that i believe in you. I know you'll do just fine. Nyt."

Natutuwa ako for Mel. Habang nagmomotmot kami kanina dahil sa Persons bigla nya sinabi, "Ok lang, may love life naman ako eh." Yun na. Im not even sure if i still have a life. Damn.

Dati Ko Pa Gusto i-post ito.

you're on my mind had another sleepless nite
and all I think about is that I want you here and now
all I wanna say is that I want you in my life
I need you to hold me make me feel so rite

there's no other love oh yeah
you're everything that I'm looking for and more
so tell me why, why are you so shy
when you're walking right by I get this feeling inside

Chorus
baby I want you but I don't know what to say
I see you everyday when you come around my way
I want you to know that I'm in love with you
so baby come on come on and tell me how you feel

my friends say that I'm wasting my time
but I don't listen to them
cuz I know you're gonna be mine
they don't understand the feelings inside
all I want from you is that you give me a sign

tell me how you feel, tell me how you feel
I can see it in ur eyes when you're walking by
you feel me I feel you too
why are u so shy when u walk by
I get this feeling inside

Chorus
baby I want you but I don't know what to say
I see you everyday when you come around my way
I want you to know that I'm in love with you
so baby come on come on and tell me how you feel

I know that it's you that holds the key to my heart
and I don't what I would do if I can't have your love
how you feel

Chorus

baby I want you but I don't know what to say
I see you everyday when you come around my way
I want you to know that I'm in love with you
so baby come on come on and tell me how you feel
baby I want you but I don't know what to say
I see you everyday when you come around my way
I want you to know that I'm in love with you
so baby come on come on and tell me how you feel

Mamulaklak na Salita

Bakit ako natatawa?
Natatawa pero di natutuwa.
Natutuwa ka ba na nalulungkot ako?
Ako ang nagsusulat pero ako ang sumusunod.
Sumusunod-sunod, nagbabaka sakali, nagpaparamdam?
Nagpaparamdam ako pero di mo maramdaman, di naman manhid.
Manhid ka na ba sa lahat ng mga sampal, suntok at sipa ng kapalaran?
Kapalaran ang pagkikita sa walang kasiguraduhan na landas ng kasiyahan.
Kasiyahan na di pa dumadating sa kabila ng lahat ng kalungkutan?
Kalungkutang tinatamasa na parang walang katapusan.
Katapusan ba ang sagot sa lahat ng katanungan?

Katanungang maingay, sagot na tahimik.
Tahimik na sigaw, tenga'y sinarhan?
Sinarhan pati pusong sugatan.
Sugatan na naghihilom?
Naghihilom.

Natatawa
Natutuwa
Ako
Sumusunod-sunod
Nagpaparamdam
Manhid
Kapalaran
Kasiyahan
Kalungkutan
Katapusan
Katanungan
Tahimik
Sinarhan
Sugatan
Naghihilom

The Depressives

Hilary: Why are you so desperate?
Mom: I dont wanna end up alone.
---from Perfect Man

jhersee33 : haay. i wish im in love.
anna_mitz : are you not?
jhersee33 : not YET. di ko pa nakikita un sarili ko na karelasyon sya. argh. i dont even know if i ever will. weird no? parang naisip ko si Aidan.. "if you're not ready to marry me now.. you're not gonna be ready."
anna_mitz : hmm, i know that feeling too ako nga eh, i can nver imagine myslef with him. alam mo kasi, marami kang nagsa stop sayo from falling for him
jhersee33 : right, right. tulad ng?
anna_mitz: una, law school, second, yung age, third, i have yet to get the full kwento about him to add to my list
jhersee33 : hahahahaha. "Depressives don't [want to be happy]. They want to be unhappy to confirm they're depressed. If they were happy they couldn't be depressed anymore. They'd have to go out into the world and live. Which can be depressing." naalala mo ito sa CLOSER?
anna_mitz : i couldnt agree more why are we like this anyway? why do we choose this road to unhappiness? things could have been a lot easier. but yet... i dont know how else to live my life. have we become so jaded? embittered? so self-consumed? why cant we just find happiness in small things? shempre for us, if its not complicated, its not worth our time.
jhersee33 : shit. i totally agree.
------------

I Feel so Loved.

Salamat sa mga taong huling nagbigay ng testi sa akin. It's always a pleasure to know that people value me. You guys dont know how much i appreciate these things.


meliecar, Friday, September 09, 2005:
i loooovveee this girl who wouldn't? =)..she's one of the nicest persons sa block..super sweet, friendly and funny! The founder of our secret society...;-) am uber glad i got to know you..

Paula, Thursday, September 15, 2005: 1st impression:

honestly, words that came into my mind were the instructions for orsem which said "comfortable clothes" then i saw eunice (stilettos, frilly skirt and all the works pare the works! hehe), and i said (to myself of course), "she must've missed the instructions"...booooy was i wrong! ganun na pala sya kahit pa sa UP, haha cute isipin. she truly is a fashionista and a half. i dunno what the half is for, hehe... just to emphasize ;) ..also, eunice is the ONLY person who can pull off this question addressed to our consti prof: "boxers or briefs" hahahaha laughtrip talaga! oh well, i miss hanging out with this girl, she truly brings back LIFE that is being sucked out by law school. keep the spirits up, malay mo, inspiration ka pala sa marami hehe :) see yah sa oath taking hehehe (*please Lord, please*)

'Nalin', Monday, September 19, 2005:
This testimonial is difficult... WHY? Coz Eunice, my dear Law classmate is capable of being anything!

She can be a chatterbox perpetually cracking jokes and malulufet na hirits yet there are moments when i see her just contenting herself with silence.

There are times when she speaks of life's in-depth ironies yet she also takes notice of its frivolities.

For me, Eunice is like a ray of light... na sobrang nkaka-lighten ng mood pag anjan na sha.

Goodluck sa school! Go UP!

Shemyl, Saturday, October 01, 2005:

This girl is UNBELIEVABLE. She has the ability to make friends in a short period of time. Meeting her will make you feel like you've known her forever. Great GAL...ZULEIKA!!! She is one of those people you'll not forget easily. SMILE is an UNDERSTATEMENT... LAUGHTRIP kung LAUGHTRIP.

Koko, Tuesday, October 04, 2005:
i'm not too good with words, so i will be brief: wansi will neber b wat t s widawt u.

JOTSJOTS, Thursday, October 06, 2005:
si yunis magaling gumawa na mga oh-so-nakakaliw-na-sentence (si yunis na nung una hindi ko magawan ng testi kase over tweaked ata yung profile
si yunis na mahilig bumungisngis pero mahilig din tumahimik...
si yunis ka-manner in the way of talking ng pinsan kong si paloys
si yunis na matalino in her own right, and yes im sure you'll get your 96, but im more certain that you'll your 100 somewhere somehow, you'll see you'll have it someday...
si yunis, na kakaiba magdamit, kamusta naman and syoll??? anu ba ispelling ng syoll? yung may pashmeeda etc... hehe
si yunis mabilis gumawa ng kaibigan, kaibigan na nga namin to lahat sa starbs eh
you know i could go on and write a thousand, maybe a million things about yunis a.k.a eunice, *yet you the viewer wouldnt fully appreciate the beauty of her cheerful(l) and profound personality by just reading, you need to meet her and spend moments so you'd know thats she's worth the world nay, she's worth more.

tats na tats ako mga kapatid. mahal ko kayo. =)

SARAP.

Nice: back. got dc
S: bakit? kumain ka naman diba? buntis ka ba? dizzy ba or disconnect?

ayun na. LAUGHTRIP.
----------
Koko, salamat at naranasan ko nanaman ang iyong mga kamay sa aking likuran. Salamat sa iyong out-of-nowhere back massage. Sarap.

Kwento Kwento..

If the stars say to be cautious taking a risk now, well, it's important to define what a risk is. Asking them out? That's a little risky. Starting a conversation? That's just normal human interaction. Try it.

I need not ask him out. He already did. sorta. Anyway i need to stay focused. FINAAAALS. FINAAAALS. Ika nga ni Melodie, next next week na lang ang pag-ibig (kahit na bigla sya nagpopost ng mga link ng isa sa mga backstreet guys na ikinatuwa at ikinatawa ko)

Speaking of the Backstreet guy, di ko napigilan. Nakasabay namin sya sa elevator eh... kelangan ko lang talaga i-confirm... so i asked him, "Excuse me, i just have to ask this.. diba ikaw un isa sa mga kumanta ng Backstreet Boys song nun Bar Ops?" Ayun, isa syang hiyang-hiya. Kayod Marino talaga ako, mana kay Kiboy at Pepe. hahahaha.

Meron isang booboo un class namin sa aming last day sa Persons... Closing Prayer.

Chan-Gonzaga: In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit..
Class: As it was in the beginning, now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen."
(Silence)
Chan-Gonzaga: Mukhang sabog kayo ah?

LAUGHTRIP!!!!

Mahal ko na rin si Sir Candelaria. Di ko ineexpect na mataas un makukuha ko sa recits ko sa kanya. The whole class did fairly well. Mukhang nagkakapag-asa na talaga kami na makarating ng next sem. SANA, SANA. FINAAAAAAAAALS. FINAAAAAAAALS.

We ate our "Last Supper" sa Yellow Cab kanina. Huling hirit para sa huling weekend before the FINALS. Alam kong di nanaman ako makakausap ng matino next week. GOD HELP US. Ayon kay Ralph, NERD daw ako. Matagal ko na di naririnig un, pero ang sarap isipin na bumabalik na ang NERDY side of me. Sana.. sana.

Sa tingin ni Hazel ay nakikipagflirt sa akin itong lalaking ito. Ngunit may gerlps sya. Ang mga lalaki talaga, kayod marino. Ang tanda tanda na eh. haha.

Stages of Love Theory

After the unexpected success of my bestfriend theory, I now shall reveal a theory i've been contemplating on for quite sometime. Now that i'm 21, I'm an official nonbeliever of soulmates, of fate as the ultimate determinant of one's future and of love at first sight. In the past, i had a firm stand that i will not settle for anything less than mutual love. But now that im older and hopefully, wiser.. i believe that falling in love is just a matter of timing. A matter of persuasion and of weighing your options. These are the possible stages.

1. PWEDE Stage: This level is that first moment that one rests his/her eyes on another. Kumbaga sa Takeshi's Castle, ito un pinakamadali pero critical na stage. I suggest that one should have an open mind 'bout the possibilities. Yeah, i do believe that attraction, specifically physical, is a very persuasive trait, but we must also remeber that "Familiarity" extinguishes any trace of ugliness. Aminin nyo, meron kayong mga friends ngayon na nung unga nyons nakita ay napangitan kayo,pero dahil lagi mo kasama, you have come to a reformation (or in your friend's case, a transformation). He's not that ugly after all. Harsh na kung harsh but...

2. Magisip-isip Stage: Assuming that everyone's PWEDE in the first level, we have our own non-negotiables. For example, mine will be language proficiency in ENglish. Some think that they have quite a number of non-negotiables but in reality, the normal number'll be with a max of 3. Yeah, some dont have non-negotiables. During this stage, love isnt really there yet, what we have are KILIG moments.

3. I Dont Think So Stage: This is where we do a lot of thinking. This is the Devil's Advocate stage, you start analyzing what you don't like about the person. Di mo gusto un hair nya, di mo gusto na he doesnt take you seriously, di mo gusto un cologne nya. YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT THROUGH THIS STAGE! This is where most of the spinsters get stuck in.

4. Looking at the Brighter Side Stage: This is where you start coming up with the positive traits that will offset the negative traits that you noticed in the preceding stage. Magulo nga un hair nya pero you love the feel of your hands on his hair... Mejo wala siya sense of fashion pero you love his eyes, his smile, his ideas....

5. The Bahala Na / Ewan Stage: This is the "passive" part of the process. The "nakakasawa" stage when the spark seems to have gone out the window. Nagkakatamaran na. It is very important that you guys are now constantly dating or at least spending time with each other because it will lead you to the most romantic and magical stage of all stages...

6. Can This Be Love Stage: The idea of going into a relationship is just all of a sudden too irresistible. This is where the "fishing for commitment" conversations begin to be rampant. Un mga usapan tungkol sa nakakasawang paghihintay sa tunay na pag-ibig, un mga "i love it when you're around" lines na ang naririnig... This is where you'll find yourself daydreaming about your "future" as a couple. If after this stage you guys are still arent sure, then you're off to a hopeless journey.

7. May Iba pa Naman Stage: This is where the end of your "what seemed to be" budding romance is coming to a bittersweet end. You're beginning to notice the new cute guy in Starbs, of the yummy guy sa Library... Your usually inhabited mind with thoughts of him/her is distracted by other men/ women.

8. Paalam na Stage: Need i say more?

At any stage in the process, you may decide to get committed and from these MAIN STAGES a new set of stages may emerge. And just like my BESTFRIEND THEORY, it is a cycle... until you find that someone who will break the cycle with you. =)

BLUE is the COLOR of the DAY.

INKBLOTS
My hands are marked, not
by traces of your touch
but by blots of ink
that magically found
their way to my now cold
hands.

(written in memory of you who made me smile)
-----------------
Hey YOU,
I was waiting. You chose to be distant. This is the bad part of our "mystery", we cant compel each other to be near. I think i'm officially beginning to like you, despite and inspite of. I dunno how to assure you that i dont look at anyone the way i look at you,i dont even know why i want you to know that. But how can i assure myself that it's ok when it'll turn out that you're not interested in looking at me the way I want you to look at me? There's really no assurance in this game that we're in. Except for the fact that you wont be able to read this, and tomorrow, it'll be a cold cold day again for me.
-----------------
Kiboy: Naniniwala ka ba sa soulmates?
Eunice: Hindi.
Kiboy: Bakit?
Eunice: Hindi na eh.
Kiboy: Nakakalungkot naman un.
(sabay nag-magic ala David Blaine, ayos!)
-----------------
ANa: Mukhang masama na ang timpla ng isang tao a.
Eunice: Should i feel guilty?
Ana: Wala pa nga kayo.
Eunice: I feel guilty.
-----------------
What will i interpret when nothing's executed?
Drapes are drawn, but the lights are on.
There is no way to peace, peace is the way.

Mixed Signals.

Annamitzie and i are going through the same dilemma... Are they interested or not? Are we just friends or more? Ayoko talaga nitong stage na ito. Gusto ko malinaw ang lahat. Isang malaking trauma sa akin ang mga anino ng nakaraan na humahabol sa akin. Argh.

Di ko alam kung bakit ganito un feeling ko. Naiisip ko tuloy, baka bobo talaga ako, akala ko lang matalino ako. Nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa na i can still make it to next sem. Kagabi, nandun lang ako sa room ko, iniimagine ko na natanggal na ako sa law school, tapos naiyak na lang ako basta. Mixed signals. Gusto ko sa law school pero parang ayaw ng law school sa akin.

Bakit ambilis naman bawiin un kasiyahan? Ok na sana un recit grades ko sa Stat Con, sabay un midterms ko sablay. Un Leg Res, di ako nangopya. Ayun. malamang ako ang lowest dun. Masaya nag-umpisa itong araw na ito eh, natawag ako sa Consti, nakasagot naman ako. Pero muntik na syang natapos na depressed ako ng sobra. Muntik. Magulo talaga.

Buti na lang nakausap ko ang aking mga minamahal na katuwang sa law school. Sabi nga ni Sannet, dapat meron kaming naka-sched na one hour na iiyak lang kami. Tapos napag-usapan namin bigla na nahihirapan ako umiyak sa harap ng maraming tao, kaya di ako pwedeng maging artista tapos si Sannet di raw maganda un ngiti nya kaya di sya pwede mag-model. Un kay Shem un pinaka-OP sa mga naisip namin na propesyon, sabi nya di raw sya pwede maging doktor kasi takot sya sa dugo. Ngii. Ayun na. Sobrang gulo.

Di talaga dapat ako kakain. Kasi uhmm, tinatamad ako. Pero isang mapilit na nilalang si Jots. Actually di naman mapilit, nakakaguilty lang na "nalipasan" na raw sya ng gutom. Eh since i needed to take my mind away from law school kahit for a few minutes, ayun sumama na rin ako. So kumain kami kasama si Dara sa KFC. Taga-taguig din pala si Dara, at least may nakakarelate na sa mga Taguig kwentos ko. Ok naman, ang mali lang, suot ko un aking ULTIMATE TARAY shoes, therefore... BLISTERS ang katapat. Pagdating ko sa KFC i was sweating like hell, dyahe. Kasi naman mag all black eh. Pag labas namin, umuulan. Great, just great. Pero i enjoyed it naman. Kahit na ang dugyot ko na pagbalik ng Starbs. hehe. At hanggang ngayon ay masakit ang mga paltos.

Pagbalik ng Starbs, nandun pa sila Ana, Kiboy at Melo.. "Aral" time. Nadamay pa sa aral time itong si Jots. Kaya im wishin him goodluck (again) para sa kanyang exam later. Isang malaking malaking SALAMAT .. for the UP stickers, the Ride at ang iyong pang-aaliw nung inabandona na tayo ni Ana. Wag kang mawalan ng pag-asa sa "PAGHIHINTAY", dadating din un. (winks)

Di naman ako nalulungkot na ng sobra as of the moment, lalo na't kakapanood ko lang ng Love Actually. Pero napapaisip parin ako kung ano na mangyayari sa akin in the near future. Di ko na yata kaya.