Prime Minister: Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.
Sam: But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end.
Daniel: Tell her that you love her. You've got nothing to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't.
Juliet: We've never got friendly. I just wanted to say I hope that can change. I'm nice, I really am, apart from my terrible taste in pie. And it would be great if we could be friends.
Karl: Life is full of interruptions and complications.
Mia: I'll just be hanging round the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed.
[
shows pictures of beautiful supermodels]
Mark: But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this
[
picture of a mummy]
Daniel: So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam: You really want to know?
Daniel: I really want to know.
Sam: Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Daniel: Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam: OK. The truth is actually... I'm in love.
Daniel: Sorry?
Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Daniel: Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Sam: No.
Daniel: Oh, OK, right. Well, I'm a little relieved.
Sam: Why?
Daniel: Well, you know - I thought it might be something worse.
Sam: [
incredulous] Worse than the total agony of being in love?
Daniel: Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.
Harry: Tell me, exactly, how long it is that you've been working here?
Sarah: Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, what, two hours?
Harry: And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer?
Sarah: Ahm, two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, an hour and thirty minutes.
Harry: I thought as much.
Sarah: Do you think everybody knows?
Harry: Yes.
Sarah: Do you think Karl knows?
Harry: Yes.
Sarah: Oh that is bad news.
Harry: Well I just thought maybe the time had come to do something about it.
Sarah: Like what?
Harry: Invite him out for a drink and then after about twenty minutes casually drop into the conversation the fact that you'd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies.
Sarah: You know that?
Harry: Yes. And so does Karl. Think about it. For all our sakes. It's Christmas.
Sarah: Certainly. Excellent. Will do. Thanks, boss.
[
talking about Peter]
Sarah: Do you love him?
Mark: What?
Sarah: I just thought I'd ask the blunt question.
Billy Mack: When I was young, I was greedy and foolish, and now I'm left with no one. Wrinkled and alone.
Karen: So what's this big news, then?
Daisy: [
excited] We've been given our parts in the nativity play. And I'm the lobster.
Karen: The lobster?
Daisy: Yeah!
Karen: In the nativity play?
Daisy: [
beaming] Yeah, *first* lobster.
Karen: There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
Daisy: Duh.
Press Conference Reporter: Mr. President, has it been a good visit?
The President: Very satisfactory indeed. We got what we came for and our special relationship is still very special.
Press Conference Reporter: Prime Minister?
Prime Minister: I love that word "relationship". Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship. A relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm... Britain. We may be a small country but we're a great one, too. The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, the Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter. David Beckham's right foot. David Beckham's left foot, come to that. And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward, I will be prepared to be much stronger. And the President should be prepared for that.
[
Natalie, a secretary, is greeting the Prime Minister]
Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir". Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss-it!
Jamie: It's my favorite time of day, driving you.
Aurelia: [
in Portuguese] It is the saddest part of my day, leaving you.
Daniel: All right, we can definitely crack this. I was a kid once too, remember. Now, it's someone at school?
Sam: Yes.
Daniel: Good, good. And how does she… or he… feel about you?
Sam: *She* doesn't even know my name. And even if she did, she'd despise me. She's the coolest girl in school and everyone worships her because she's heaven.
Daniel: Hmmm...
[
sits on the couch next to Sam]
Daniel: Well...
[
grins]
Daniel: Basically, you're fucked, aren't you?
Sam: Let us go get the shit kicked out of us by love.
[
after walking into 10 Downing Street for the first time and falling in love with a member of the domestic staff]
Prime Minister: Oh, no. That is so inconvenient.
[
having just been exposed kissing Natalie on a school stage during a student concert in front of hundreds of children and parents]
Prime Minister: Right. So, not quite as secret as we'd hoped.
Natalie: Right. What should we do?
Prime Minister: Smile. Give a little bow. Wave.
The President: I'll give you anything you ask for - as long as it's not something I don't want to give.
[
to his girlfriend]
Jamie: I love you even when you're sick and look disgusting.
Prime Minister: I'm not so sure politics and dating really go together.
The President: Really? I never found that.
Prime Minister: Yes, well, the difference is that you're sickeningly handsome whereas I look increasingly like my Aunt Mildred.
[
at his wife's funeral]
Daniel: Jo and I had a lot of time to prepare for this moment. Some of her requests - for instance, that I should bring Claudia Schiffer as my date to the funeral - I am confident she expected me to ignore.
Jamie: [
In Portuguese] Good evening.
Mr. Barros: Yes?
Jamie: I am here to ask your daughter for her hands in marriage.
Mr. Barros: You want to marry my daughter?
Jamie: Yes.
Mr. Barros: [
to someone in the back of the house] Come here, there is a man at the door. He wants to marry you.
Sophia Barros: [
a large and confused women emerges] But I've never seen him before.
Mr. Barros: Who cares?
Sophia Barros: You're going to sell me to a complete stranger?
Mr. Barros: Sell? Who said 'sell'? I'll pay him.
Jamie: Pardon me. I'm meaning your other daughter - Aurelia.
[
deleted scene; Daniel and Sam are discussing Sam's true love]
Daniel: Option One: ask her out.
Sam: Impossible.
Daniel: Fair enough. Option Two: become her friend.
Sam: She's the most popular girl in school and she hates boys.
Daniel: Okay. Option Three: kidnap her and keep her tied up in your room until she agrees to marry you.
Sam: It's a route I've considered.
Daniel: And quite rightly rejected on the grounds of...
Sam: Hygiene.
Sam: Daniel, I have a plan!
Daniel: Thank the Lord! Tell me.
Sam: Well, girls love musicians, don't they?
Daniel: Uh-huh.
Sam: Even the really weird ones get girlfriends.
Daniel: That's right. Meatloaf definitely got laid at least once. For God's sake, Ringo Starr married a Bond girl!
Sam: [
looks at him strangely] Whatever.
Sam: There's a big concert at the end of the term, and Joanna's going to be in it. I thought, if I was in the concert, and played really, really well, there's a chance she might fall in love with me. What do you think?
Daniel: I think it's brilliant! It's stellar! Uh, apart from the one little, obvious, tiny, little baby hiccup...
Sam: That I don't play a musical instrument.
Daniel: Yessir.
Sam: A tiny, insignificant detail.
Daniel: [
knocks on Sam's door] Sam, time for dinner.
Sam: I'm not hungry.
Daniel: Sam... I've done chicken kebabs!
Sam: Didn't you see the sign on the door?
[
he starts practising his drums; Daniel leans back and sees the sign, which says, "I SAID - I'M NOT HUNGRY"]
Daniel: Okay...
Daniel: You know, Sammy, I'm sure she's unique and extraordinary, but... the general wisdom is that, in the end, there isn't just one person for each of us.
Sam: There was for Kate and Leo. There was for you. There is for me.
[
holds up one finger]
Sam: She's "the one".
Daniel: Fair enough.
