Sobrang Random..

love complicates things. its existence and its absence for some reason make things a li'l less tolerable.

Carlo: dali take me into ur wings and teach me the art of doing dat... [on flings]

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

i miss my friends. i miss havin love problems.

I have issues with...

honesty excess mother sex love

Take Word Association Test

i dont wanna talk about love pala.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

It's Nice to Feel Pain...

"If you feel the pain, then it's working." -my gym instructor

I guess that's it, pain is an essential part of our lives. It's like signposting, it tells you when an exercise is workin, or when what you're doin is wrong or when you're deeply in love with someone. If you dont feel pain, then you dont appreciate happiness.

Pain makes me strive. Pain makes me look at the good things that i have. Pain is a promise. A promise that it too shall pass.

Vanity is our Family Name...

I am now 101% sure that my family is the coolest family in town. Besides the fact that we all love each other (aww, group hug), duh that's a given, i dont know of any family that goes to the dermatologist, goes to the spa, goes to the parlor, gets drunk and goes shopping together. TOGETHER. Everyone present. My mom and my dad and my two sibs.

Last Saturday, we went on a gimmick.. got sorta drunk at Bagaberde. Last week, we went to the spa... we all spent our day there relaxing and went shopping, literal ito! Yesterday we watched a flick and went shopping again. Next week we plan to get a body massage. Today, i went to the gym w/ my dad... Haay.

I will never forget my dad's "bilin"..

"Pag nagkaron kayo ng pamilya, maging goal nyo na mabigyan nyo sila ng higit sa nabibigay namin sa inyo..."

Uhmm, dad.. that's gonna be tough. You and mom give us everything and more. Aww, group hug ulit.

The Sweet Side of Suicide

"He took his life because he wanted to protect us from the further pending hell that was again to break loose, as a result of losing his battle in the Supreme Court, as a result of the injustice that continued without fail," Dolly said, reading from a statement after the ninth-day Mass for Borlongan last Tuesday..."

I saw Ces Drilon's interview of Dolly Borlongan last week, and i couldnt help but be affected. She talked about how "it was ted's personality" to eventually commit suicide, and how it's his way of showing his love for her. I can feel how mixed her emotions still are about her husband's death. I never thought she wold talk about the SWEET SIDE of SUICIDE. Death really is one mystery that we are yet to fully understand.

A flashback of one scene in Kingdom of Heaven ran into my usually barren mind [naks], that scene where Orlando Bloom's dead wife was being buried. They had to cut her head because she committed suicide. I dont think it's necessary. Im sure a lot of people'll agree, and im sure my opinion is useless because this tradition must've disappeared ages ago. Will you be surely in hell if you committed suicide? What if it's your only way to save other people? Won't God understand?

"I'm sure God will understand. If He wouldnt, then He is not God." [Orlando Bloom on burning the cadavers while being stopped by the Pope]

How do we measure if one's reason for suicide is just and isnt plain selfishness or cowardice? How do we know if it's in the personality of a person to be suicidal? I'm sure there are psychological symptoms, but do we really know? It's a horrifying fact that a person's life is so bad that one chooses to end it. I think suicide is that one fleeting (Yassy-inspired) moment where you feel it's the best thing to resort to. It's that one insane minute of superficial sanity.

I dont think I could ever commit suicide. I cant stand the thought of bringin so much grief to my family. Im sure someone'll blame him/herself for my death and i cant stand that. There's no sweet side of suicide for me.

As for Ted Borlongan's family, i hope they survive his love. Death is such a tough act to "follow".

7 Things You'll Learn only in UP by Ryan Cayabyab

1. Ang buhay ay parang IKOT jeep. Ang iyong patutunguhan ay siya ring iyong pinanggalingan.

2. U.P. lang ang may TOKI, sa buhay wala nito. Pero nasasaiyo na yon kung nais mong pabaligtad ang takbo ng buhay mo.


3. Sa IKOT, pwede kang magkamali ng baba kahit ilang beses, sasakay ka lang uli. Sa buhay, kapag paikot-ikot ka na at laging mali pa rin ang iyong baba, naku, may sayad ka.


4. Sa U.P., lahat tayo magaling. Aminin nating lahat na tayo'y magagaling. Ang problema dun,
lahat tayo magaling!


5. Kung sa U.P. ay sipsip ka na, siguradong paglabas mo, sipsip ka pa rin.


6. Sa U.P., tulad sa buhay, ang babae at ang lalake, at lahat ng nasa gitna, ay patas, walang
pinagkaiba sa dunong, sa talino, sa pagmamalasakit, sa kalawakan ng isipan, sa pag-
iibigan; at kahit na rin sa kabaliwan, sa kalokohan at sa katarantaduhan.

At ang panghuli:


7. Sa U.P. tulad sa buhay, bawal ang overstaying.

*by Prof. Ryan Cayabyab
from Commencement speech given on April 24,
2005 before the Class of 2005, UP Diliman,
Quezon City

Kingdom of Heaven (cont'n)

....... Alas, Janice and Atoy appeared over the horizon...[aaaah, Nina syndrome] and i got excited. Haven't seen Janice for quite a long time and i heard she missed laughin w/ us. We decided to go to her office in Ortigas to catch up on our kwentuhans. At Accenture, Janice once again did something hilariously funny.

(a guy walks past us, with his friends)
Janice: hi spike!
Guy: (looks at Janice)
Janice: Spike? Ikaw ba si Spike?
Guy: Hindi.
(Atoy and I were tryin soo hard to conceal our laughter, the guy left...)
Jersee: Bakit mo nasabi na si Spike sya? kamukha ba nya?
Janice: Di,para kasing bagay sa kanya un name na Spike e..
(laughtrip na talaga)

Grabe! Janice never fails to brighten up my day. But i adore her for giving us a cup of coffee and a glass of iced tea, at least it prevented us from gettin dehydrated after walkin our way to her office. After that fun visit, Atoy and i embarked on a journey to our final destination, Robinson's Galleria. What did we do from around 4;30 to 7:30? We walked, again... in my new polka stilettos. i know, it's nothin new, I'm with Atoy anyway, so it's a normal thing.

Kingdom of Heaven.

I bumped into Neil and BB Fred at the cinema, said our usual hellos and his. Then we had to wait for almost an hour before the movie started. Atoy and I entertained ourselves by taking pictures. the usual narcissistic persons that we are.

T'was an aesthetically-pleasing flick, and overall i loved it. There's nothin unbelievably spectacular about it, but it's well-made.

In the end, everything was worth it. I had fun. And it's all that matters.

Kingdom of Heaven... Part One

Quote for the day:
"i say, merge with the other army.. repent later." -- Pope from Kingdom of Heaven.

Just got home from a very tiring and should i say, "adventurous" day.Woke up early because of a very persistent caller who turned out to be Atoy. He missed his HSBC interview and he's harassing me into going to school earlier. Why did he miss his interview? As usual, as a member of the "What are the chances Club" MRT had to break down while he was on his way to Ortigas. Ok,ok he didnt harass me, he just pressured me into gettin out of my bed. Arrgh.

Then i went to 99.5 Rt's station to claim the tix for the premiere. Didnt want to go back later in the afternoon so i let fate decide. I told myself, if a jeepney that's gonna be passing by the station'll arrive, then i'm gonna claim it. It came, i saw and fate conquered. Ngaks, pinagpilitan.

I feel extra pretty today, i dunno why. Must be the crocheted white top and the killer stilettos.
After claiming the tix, chitchattin w/ afew of the staff and runnin away from a creepy guy i went straight to Peyups.

This is the 2nd time i'm gonna say it, but i still felt nostalgic when i passed by the Oblation. Proud to be a UP Econ grad.. When i came to Econ, there was no Atoy. He was stil in SM North w/ Janice. So i waited and had to pay for my extra pics. 250 freaggin' pesos. Waah, that's what i get for lovin myself soo much. A lot of pics to pay for..

------------------ itutuloy--------------------

What Stresses me Out?

1. High expectations
2. being helpless
3. having the need to explain myself
4. writing a "What stresses Me out?" list.

arrgh, im stressed.

Huling Hirit, Grad Party...

on Crashes and Crushes...

The news of the helicopter crash came as a shock to me for one single reason: these people are good people, they're on their way to a Red Cross mission, they dont deserve to die. I know i'm not in the position to know who deserves and who doesn't deserve to die, my judgment's accuracy will forever be in question, but the mere fact that they're on their way to help people,i think, is enough to at least buy them a day on earth. Yeah, the world and life in particular isn't a simple point system. Crashes happen to jolt us back to that zone of uncertainty. It is in uncertainty that we become certain.

I have the weirdest preference for guys. Or maybe, i have the most rational and stable preference for guys. Amidst all the madness, the beauty and that drool-meter, i get attracted to guys who arent "attractive enough". No, i dont see it as a problem. In fact, i think it's a very big advantage. Look at my present object of affection, Bam Aquino. Merely typing his name makes me smile. I will definitely choose to go out on a date with Bam Aquino than go out with, let's say, Marc Nelson. Im not saying that Bam's not good-lookin, HE IS. But that's not what i liked about him, it's his passion for knowledge. That oh-so-arousing energy that he exudes when he discusses the things he know or is interested in. Bam.............................. im hyperventilating.

I got to chat with a long, lost buddy. Lemme call him, The Artist. It's nice to bump into someone from your past once in a while. It's refreshing, and it reminds you of how it all started. That journey that id like to think is slowly coming to its climax. To goof around and be the child that i am, and to say the "thank you" that's long overdue. I enjoyed the conversation, as a result i made a testi for him. It really is a Friendster world after all. haha

Untitled..

Rage paralyzed me and turned me into a vacuum
Pretension and deceit blinded me,
Captured my being and smeared my trust.
My life is a rollercoaster ride meant to shock me, wound me and lick me.
His smile is my tear and his sanity is my paranoia.
I have to move away, run away from this insanity,
Lock myself in a safe blackhole.
His touch burned my existence,
pricked my membrane.
I walk away, he runs after me….
Then I wait for him, I wait.. I wait.

Make a fool out of me and make me suffer
Mock me and make me howl in pain
Feed me sarcasm and tease me
Then just walk away..
Celebrate my death and rob my sanity
Look down at my existence and I’ll smile.