Excerpt from Jessica Zafra's "Aunt Janey’s Old-Fashioned Agony Column # 10: A return on your emotional investment"
"If you wish to win someone’s affections, never give that person gifts for the purpose of making him grateful to you. Gratitude can become a very heavy obligation and often leads to resentment. Whoever employs such a tactic immediately becomes transparent and will be prone to abuse. You can also be perceived as manipulative and you will definitely be detested and your gifts, no matter how grand, will be viewed with distaste, unless your beneficiary is as callous as I am. Generosity is finding joy in giving without expecting anything in return. Generosity begets friendship and even love. In romance, spreading your arms and legs and baking the man’s bread in your oven will not bind that man to you. Marriage will not help. He must want to be with you because of who you are and not because you give him nice things. What would you do when you run out of things to give?"
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