[nagyoyosi ang girl, tinapik ang balikat nya at winish nya na sana sya]
Guy: Kamusta ka na?
Girl: Ok naman ako, I think.
Guy: Walang kang guy ngayon?
Girl: Wala nga e. [Sana ikaw na lang]
Guy: Bakit kasi ayaw mo pa sabihin sakin un bago mo?
Girl: Wala nga. [Kasi nga pag sinabi ko na ikaw un, ano nanaman sasabihin mo? Adik ako?]
Guy: Ako din.
Girl: *smile*[Ano pa hinihintay mo?]
Guy: Ihanap mo naman ako ng date:
Girl: Oo ba. [Are you fucking kidding me?]
Guy: Ikaw kasi e.
Girl:Ha? Ano ba gusto mo?
Guy: Kahit sino.
Girl: [E bakit di na lang ako?] SIge, ihahanap kita.
SILENCE
Girl: [to girl friend] Last yosi ko na'to. Uwi na tayo.
SLOW NIGHT
It is a slow night. She isn’t expecting anything interesting to happen especially because she plans to study. It started out as expected. As she turns each page of her now torn reviewer, highlighting like crazy, not minding the busy noise that surrounds her, she once in a while unconsciously finds herself smiling. It feels so natural. She’s at the same table; while he is… well, not there. She remembers the first time she told her friend of him, her little secret. It was another slow night and they decided to have dinner. It was one of those rare moments when she actually said yes to eating dinner. She was smoking her nth cigarette of the day when out of the blue she announced with a chuckle, “I think I might be liking someone.” She tentatively eyed her friend, waiting for his over the top reaction.
“What do you mean you’re ‘liking’ someone? Do you think he is interested? Does he know or at least does he have a clue? Do you see your future with him?” The excited guy friend interrogated while mindlessly eating the plateful of beef and fries in front of them at Gram’s. He was not breathing, not even blinking, waiting for her answer to the string of questions that was thrown at her similar to the second hand smoke that she constantly emits.
“Lamig lang. This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell anyone. I don’t want things to get out of hand, like you know… the last time.” She puffed with all her might, silently wishing she kept her mouth shut but knowing that sooner or later, she would blurt it out anyway. She pretended to smile nonchalantly, as if this could suck the awkwardness of the situation.
Then they drank... slowly, on a slow night.
“What do you mean you’re ‘liking’ someone? Do you think he is interested? Does he know or at least does he have a clue? Do you see your future with him?” The excited guy friend interrogated while mindlessly eating the plateful of beef and fries in front of them at Gram’s. He was not breathing, not even blinking, waiting for her answer to the string of questions that was thrown at her similar to the second hand smoke that she constantly emits.
“Lamig lang. This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell anyone. I don’t want things to get out of hand, like you know… the last time.” She puffed with all her might, silently wishing she kept her mouth shut but knowing that sooner or later, she would blurt it out anyway. She pretended to smile nonchalantly, as if this could suck the awkwardness of the situation.
Then they drank... slowly, on a slow night.
SA GOODEARTH kagabi...Maraming Avanza
Sa isang kwentuhan na inumpisahan ng anecdote ni Ona tungkol sa bulok na taxi na napilitan silang parahin nang papunta sila sa senado, nag-ugat ang isang malalim nanamang diskusyon tungkol sa pag-ibig. Pagmamahal. Love.
Ang kwento, papunta sila ng senado at dahil rush hour, napilitan silang sumakay sa isang taxi na kakarag-karag. Namamatay sya kada ilang minuto at kagaya ng inaasahan ay sumuko sya matapos ang isang masalimuot na pakikipaglaban. Walang aircon, mainit. Pero napara.
Sabi namin, ang babae parang taxi driver. Naghihintay na mapara, pwede mamili pero madalas, walang pasahero. Di na pwede magsakay kung may nakasakay nang iba. Naj-judge sa kung ano ang itsura ng taxi na dala nila. Jan pumapasok ang mga vios, avanza taxi. Syempre sila ang preferred kaysa sa amin na bulok na, niluma na ng panahon, walang aircon at walang accessories. Di ka mapapara kung di ka maayos tignan. Liban na lang kung crunch time na, in other words, rush hour na.
Pero madalas din, ang mga Avanza na taxi, kahit gaano kaganda sana ay malas din. Dahil akala ng mga pasahero, mahal sila, di available... nangd-discriminate din. Di nila alam, ang Avanza, gusto din mapara. Kasi nga, Taxi lang din sila.
Ang mga kaibigan, sila ang MMDA. Sila ang magsasabi sa'yo kung lumalabag ka na ng traffic rules. Sila ang magsasabi sa'yo kung kailan kailangan mo na ibaba ang pasahero mo.
Ang magulang, sila ang LTO. Bibigyan ka lang nila ng franchise kung alam nila na ahanda ka na pumasadao.
Ang taxi driver di pwede mamilit ng pasahero na sumakay na. Lagi lang naghihintay. Kung walang papara. Edi wala.
Un ang problema.
Ang kwento, papunta sila ng senado at dahil rush hour, napilitan silang sumakay sa isang taxi na kakarag-karag. Namamatay sya kada ilang minuto at kagaya ng inaasahan ay sumuko sya matapos ang isang masalimuot na pakikipaglaban. Walang aircon, mainit. Pero napara.
Sabi namin, ang babae parang taxi driver. Naghihintay na mapara, pwede mamili pero madalas, walang pasahero. Di na pwede magsakay kung may nakasakay nang iba. Naj-judge sa kung ano ang itsura ng taxi na dala nila. Jan pumapasok ang mga vios, avanza taxi. Syempre sila ang preferred kaysa sa amin na bulok na, niluma na ng panahon, walang aircon at walang accessories. Di ka mapapara kung di ka maayos tignan. Liban na lang kung crunch time na, in other words, rush hour na.
Pero madalas din, ang mga Avanza na taxi, kahit gaano kaganda sana ay malas din. Dahil akala ng mga pasahero, mahal sila, di available... nangd-discriminate din. Di nila alam, ang Avanza, gusto din mapara. Kasi nga, Taxi lang din sila.
Ang mga kaibigan, sila ang MMDA. Sila ang magsasabi sa'yo kung lumalabag ka na ng traffic rules. Sila ang magsasabi sa'yo kung kailan kailangan mo na ibaba ang pasahero mo.
Ang magulang, sila ang LTO. Bibigyan ka lang nila ng franchise kung alam nila na ahanda ka na pumasadao.
Ang taxi driver di pwede mamilit ng pasahero na sumakay na. Lagi lang naghihintay. Kung walang papara. Edi wala.
Un ang problema.
ILLUSTRATED POETRY
but
Still I know...I feel that...
because I will. be There is no other way.
---
BLANK
One stupid wave
and I waved back.
It cured our silence
that lasted
through an infinitely
long _______.
You put your arm
around her
and I squint,
to see you
more clearly.
With one last
turn of your
head, you smiled
to say goodbye.
In my heart
I knew.
I _______
you.
and I waved back.
It cured our silence
that lasted
through an infinitely
long _______.
You put your arm
around her
and I squint,
to see you
more clearly.
With one last
turn of your
head, you smiled
to say goodbye.
In my heart
I knew.
I _______
you.
Of Being Left Behind.
lonelyjoker saidFor this, I hate hellos as much as I hate good byes. After the first meeting, the first introduction, the first talk-for-hours-on-end, I wait. I wait until I get left behind and then even if I've prepared myself for that, it still hits hard.
At least when you get left behind, you see the one leaving on a better perspective... you have a better view.
It is at this time that you can say to yourself, "Smile. You are free."
PARA SA LAHAT NG NALITO SA FLASH MESSAGE
... at sa lahat ng di nag-scroll down. Ito un message ko.
"Tapos ka na ba mag-exam?"
[scroll down]
"Ako naman ang sagutin mo!"
At care of Toi, may mga bagong pickup lines...
"Pasado ka...
[scroll down]
sa akin. Ako pasado ba?"
"Pwede tayo na lang?
[scroll down]
nakakapagod na kasi umupo e."
LAKAS!
"Tapos ka na ba mag-exam?"
[scroll down]
"Ako naman ang sagutin mo!"
At care of Toi, may mga bagong pickup lines...
"Pasado ka...
[scroll down]
sa akin. Ako pasado ba?"
"Pwede tayo na lang?
[scroll down]
nakakapagod na kasi umupo e."
LAKAS!
When I Say Closure...
... I mean CLOSURE.
Last night, we fulfilled Mr. Ogie Fermo's now infamous line, "Gusto ko na matapos ang Finals, gusto ko na ng closure!" We drank and stayed until almost 4 in the morning. We really closed not only Good Earth, not only the whole of Block 9 but the whole of Rockwell. O diba? We occupied three tables in Good Earth, drank to our hearts' content and talked about anything and everything under the higad-infested trees. Nilamok nga lang si Ces, mag-isa. Weird.
We talked about a lot of things. In the beginning, our conversation was about tiktik, tiktik sa bubong ng kapitbahay, manananggal, manananggal in catsuit, manananggal with aeon flux's haircut, manananggal with drills in Manila, aswang, dwende, white lady, pink lady, wrapper ng yema na pang-detect ng pink lady, "watch your back" game, cupping the balls game, itlog na dinala ni Ana, itlog na binili ni Hazel, crush ko, ni Ipe, ni Mel, ni Joan, ni Hazel... Kung gaano ka-hot si REP, at kung gaano kabait si PRES. Nang bandang gabi na, we talked about the beach, landian, tagaytay, landian, summer, landian, isaw, landian, arroz caldo, landian, sexual harassment, indecent proposals, lifestyle changes, siraan ng damit, agressive sexual behavior...
Special thanks to that guy who hugged me and said, "It's okay Euns, not all guys are like that." I still have faith in some men, one of them is you mahfriend. =P
When the only people left were Haze, Toi, Rach, Ces and me... we talked about religion, spirituality, faith in people, the one that got away, the one who left, "the one", the better flame, the worst flame, the search for the best flame and how hard it is to find the eternal flame.
QUOTABLE QUOTES:
Ces: Euns, ang masasabi ko lang... sa lahat-lahat ng mga naging guys mo, sya lang, si Tinky lang ang taas ang kamay ko. Iba ka eh pag sya. Nakalimutan mo nga si Better Flame ngayong gabi dahil lang sa kanya e.
Haze: He was perfect. I think, for you, he's the one that got away.
Toi: Is he the one that got away or the one who left you?
Euns: [waaaaaaaaah] Yeah, he's the only person in law school whom I can honestly say that I really loved. But the timing was just wrong and we would only work CETERIS PARIBUS.
Everyone: [blank stare]
Euns: Holding all things constant.
Euns: [after sabihin kung sino]
Toi: Maghanap ka na lang ng iba.
Euns: Un eh. So, wala kami chance.
Toi: I just don't see you guys together. I don't see it happening.
Euns: Ok, the search for the best flame starts now.
Euns: Maghanap na lang tayo ng Eternal Flame.
Haze: Un nga ang pinakamahirap hanapin e.
Euns: Hello! Un kaya ang pinakamadali, go to HELL! Duh.
So last night was a blast... special thanks to Shem who was our special guest for the night. I missed her. Sayang nga di kumpleto ang "washroom girls".
The next day.
[while pretending to do something inside the Computer Room]
Anonymous Friend: Gusto ko ngang magsulat ng thesis e... about un liability ng mga taong nagc-conceal ng homosexuality nila.
Euns: Hayup.
ANonymous Friend: Oo, isang buong chapter dun tungkol lang sa'yo.
----
[di pa dun natapos]
Anonymous: Alam ko na kung bakit mainit ang dugo mo sakin!
Euns: Bakit?
Anonymous: Kasi lalaki ako. You're discriminating against straight men!
Euns: Langya ka talaga.
----
CLOSURE NA ITO!!!!!! HOPEFULLY after SUMMER kami na ang PORCHIR! WOOHOO! PORCHIR NA KAMI...
Last night, we fulfilled Mr. Ogie Fermo's now infamous line, "Gusto ko na matapos ang Finals, gusto ko na ng closure!" We drank and stayed until almost 4 in the morning. We really closed not only Good Earth, not only the whole of Block 9 but the whole of Rockwell. O diba? We occupied three tables in Good Earth, drank to our hearts' content and talked about anything and everything under the higad-infested trees. Nilamok nga lang si Ces, mag-isa. Weird.
We talked about a lot of things. In the beginning, our conversation was about tiktik, tiktik sa bubong ng kapitbahay, manananggal, manananggal in catsuit, manananggal with aeon flux's haircut, manananggal with drills in Manila, aswang, dwende, white lady, pink lady, wrapper ng yema na pang-detect ng pink lady, "watch your back" game, cupping the balls game, itlog na dinala ni Ana, itlog na binili ni Hazel, crush ko, ni Ipe, ni Mel, ni Joan, ni Hazel... Kung gaano ka-hot si REP, at kung gaano kabait si PRES. Nang bandang gabi na, we talked about the beach, landian, tagaytay, landian, summer, landian, isaw, landian, arroz caldo, landian, sexual harassment, indecent proposals, lifestyle changes, siraan ng damit, agressive sexual behavior...
Special thanks to that guy who hugged me and said, "It's okay Euns, not all guys are like that." I still have faith in some men, one of them is you mahfriend. =P
When the only people left were Haze, Toi, Rach, Ces and me... we talked about religion, spirituality, faith in people, the one that got away, the one who left, "the one", the better flame, the worst flame, the search for the best flame and how hard it is to find the eternal flame.
QUOTABLE QUOTES:
Ces: Euns, ang masasabi ko lang... sa lahat-lahat ng mga naging guys mo, sya lang, si Tinky lang ang taas ang kamay ko. Iba ka eh pag sya. Nakalimutan mo nga si Better Flame ngayong gabi dahil lang sa kanya e.
Haze: He was perfect. I think, for you, he's the one that got away.
Toi: Is he the one that got away or the one who left you?
Euns: [waaaaaaaaah] Yeah, he's the only person in law school whom I can honestly say that I really loved. But the timing was just wrong and we would only work CETERIS PARIBUS.
Everyone: [blank stare]
Euns: Holding all things constant.
Euns: [after sabihin kung sino]
Toi: Maghanap ka na lang ng iba.
Euns: Un eh. So, wala kami chance.
Toi: I just don't see you guys together. I don't see it happening.
Euns: Ok, the search for the best flame starts now.
Euns: Maghanap na lang tayo ng Eternal Flame.
Haze: Un nga ang pinakamahirap hanapin e.
Euns: Hello! Un kaya ang pinakamadali, go to HELL! Duh.
So last night was a blast... special thanks to Shem who was our special guest for the night. I missed her. Sayang nga di kumpleto ang "washroom girls".
The next day.
[while pretending to do something inside the Computer Room]
Anonymous Friend: Gusto ko ngang magsulat ng thesis e... about un liability ng mga taong nagc-conceal ng homosexuality nila.
Euns: Hayup.
ANonymous Friend: Oo, isang buong chapter dun tungkol lang sa'yo.
----
[di pa dun natapos]
Anonymous: Alam ko na kung bakit mainit ang dugo mo sakin!
Euns: Bakit?
Anonymous: Kasi lalaki ako. You're discriminating against straight men!
Euns: Langya ka talaga.
----
CLOSURE NA ITO!!!!!! HOPEFULLY after SUMMER kami na ang PORCHIR! WOOHOO! PORCHIR NA KAMI...
SAY MY NAME...
... but I won't be there to hear your call.
Because my name does not belong
to your lips,
not anymore.
My name does not fit
what used to be
your gentle whisper.
and your name is like poison
that drains what little life
is left of me and my smile
despises your smile.
My name is but a memory,
and yours?
It has become a part
of a continuous
nightmare.
It's not merely
a part.
Your name is
my nightmare.
--
Euns
"It's not what you call me, it's what I answer to."
-African Proverb
Because my name does not belong
to your lips,
not anymore.
My name does not fit
what used to be
your gentle whisper.
and your name is like poison
that drains what little life
is left of me and my smile
despises your smile.
My name is but a memory,
and yours?
It has become a part
of a continuous
nightmare.
It's not merely
a part.
Your name is
my nightmare.
--
Euns
"It's not what you call me, it's what I answer to."
-African Proverb
NASA DIYOS ANG AWA NASA TAO ANG GAWA
"Oo nga, nasa akin ang gawa kaya mag-aaral akong mabuti.. pero Lord, para mo nang awa... LOVELIFE naman dyan!"
-Anonymous
-Anonymous
RES GESTAE
Lahat ng sasabihin ko ngayon ay "res gestae" dahil ito ay immediately after the STARTLING OCURRENCE that is our EVIDENCE EXAM.
Ang hirap nya. Tulala ako pagkatapos ng exam. Di namin namalayan na naubos na namin ang 3 hours at huli na ang lahat ng sinabi ng proctor na..."15 minutes left. NO EXTENSION." Hala. Therefore, ang nasabi ko na lang ay, "Pwede naman pagsabayin un Evidence at Remedial Law Review diba?"
So there, I woke up earlier than usual for nothing. I stayed inside the library, memorized all that I can memorize including all the DISPUTABLE PRESUMPTIONS for nothing.
No wala man lang kami interaction ng crush ko whatsoever.
Sabi ko na nga ba, dito din matatapos un e. Sa fact na di ko man lang nakausap un crush ko. Ni di ko nga alam kung alam nya na nage-exist parin ako, kasi lahat ng exams ko ay sa Justitia at 6-9 pa ang drama.
Kaya ang masasabi ko na lang, I have the whole summer to figure out if pwede ba kami o hindi. Pero medyo alam ko na ang sagot.
At ang maganda dun, nun pinag-uusapan namin sya sa LSAC kanina at tinanong ni Ipe kung ano ang initials... ibang tao ang naisip ko. Argh.
Siguro nga di talaga ako para sa carrot. Maghahanap na lang uli ng damo ang donkey.
Ang hirap nya. Tulala ako pagkatapos ng exam. Di namin namalayan na naubos na namin ang 3 hours at huli na ang lahat ng sinabi ng proctor na..."15 minutes left. NO EXTENSION." Hala. Therefore, ang nasabi ko na lang ay, "Pwede naman pagsabayin un Evidence at Remedial Law Review diba?"
So there, I woke up earlier than usual for nothing. I stayed inside the library, memorized all that I can memorize including all the DISPUTABLE PRESUMPTIONS for nothing.
No wala man lang kami interaction ng crush ko whatsoever.
Sabi ko na nga ba, dito din matatapos un e. Sa fact na di ko man lang nakausap un crush ko. Ni di ko nga alam kung alam nya na nage-exist parin ako, kasi lahat ng exams ko ay sa Justitia at 6-9 pa ang drama.
Kaya ang masasabi ko na lang, I have the whole summer to figure out if pwede ba kami o hindi. Pero medyo alam ko na ang sagot.
At ang maganda dun, nun pinag-uusapan namin sya sa LSAC kanina at tinanong ni Ipe kung ano ang initials... ibang tao ang naisip ko. Argh.
Siguro nga di talaga ako para sa carrot. Maghahanap na lang uli ng damo ang donkey.
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