Ako ang naturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasama ng pag-asa na sabay nating
tataguan ang mapangahas na mundo.
Kasabay ng pagkukubli ay ang liwanag
na magpapatunay ng koneksyon na
matagal din nating isinawalang-bahala.
Ako ang nagturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasabay ng pag-asa na sabay tayong
tatahak sa landas ng kawalan. At ngayon
hinahanap kita. Katulad ng paghahanap
na walang patutunguhan ito'y matatapos.
Ako ang nagturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasabay ng pag-asa na sabay
ngingiti ang ating mga labi at papatak
ang luha na bunga ng kaligayahan.
Ako ang nagturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasabay ng pag-asa na
mahahanap mo ako sa kawalan.
Ako ang nagturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasabay.
Ako sa'yo.
Ako.
WALANG BEARING
I was both surprised and relieved when I nonchalantly blurter out, "Wala un bearing. It was a big joke." last night. It was an answer to a question that I've been asking myself for a few months already. Finally, I am at peace with THAT chapter of my story.
PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE
MY [UN]OFFICIAL TAROT CARD READING:
*Those in parentheses are my comments and possible interpretation*
PAST: Meron slow but sure increase in power and responsibility. [Sa tingin ko SC ito]. May logical choice to make. ANswerable by listing the PROs and CONs [SC parin, kung tatakbo ba o hindi]. There's a guy who is creative, charming, emotional but moody. Seloso and unpredictable. [Nalilito ako kung si Tinkerbell ba o si Lost Boy kasi sabi ng aking "reader", highly-sexed daw sya... So, malamang si Lostboy.]
PRESENT: Something is coming to an end it's painful and difficult and you're resisting it. [Well, i think ito un Tinkerbell-Me or Latest-Me] Meron major change ahead. [Finding a better flame?] Tapos emotional confusion, depression, desperation dahil sa failed relationship. [My perfect description of the FINALS season! Emotional confusion kasi nga si Better Flame, pakipot!] Then, masyado ka daw tied to the past. Or a former lover will be back. [Definitely Tinkerbell] Pwedeng maging bridge to a new one. [Definitely, my BETTER FLAME na pakipot!]
FUTURE: Lots of parties and celebrations. You should make the most out of it. [Kasi naman graduate na un ibang tao at malamang habang nagre-review sila for thebar magyayaya sila uminom gabi-gabi!] Pero was maging selfish and materialistic at wag magpaka-busy maghang on sa kung ano meron ka dahil you might miss an opportunity. Kailangan mag-STOP and THINK. Next GUY is a person of authority or is dominating. BUSINESSMAN. Not emotional. Parang stone. [NEXT GUY pa lang na hula ok na ako e. I love being dominated. Businessman? Sabi nga ni Toi, taga-MBA! haha]
*Those in parentheses are my comments and possible interpretation*
"The answer to your questions lie in the past."
PAST: Meron slow but sure increase in power and responsibility. [Sa tingin ko SC ito]. May logical choice to make. ANswerable by listing the PROs and CONs [SC parin, kung tatakbo ba o hindi]. There's a guy who is creative, charming, emotional but moody. Seloso and unpredictable. [Nalilito ako kung si Tinkerbell ba o si Lost Boy kasi sabi ng aking "reader", highly-sexed daw sya... So, malamang si Lostboy.]
PRESENT: Something is coming to an end it's painful and difficult and you're resisting it. [Well, i think ito un Tinkerbell-Me or Latest-Me] Meron major change ahead. [Finding a better flame?] Tapos emotional confusion, depression, desperation dahil sa failed relationship. [My perfect description of the FINALS season! Emotional confusion kasi nga si Better Flame, pakipot!] Then, masyado ka daw tied to the past. Or a former lover will be back. [Definitely Tinkerbell] Pwedeng maging bridge to a new one. [Definitely, my BETTER FLAME na pakipot!]
FUTURE: Lots of parties and celebrations. You should make the most out of it. [Kasi naman graduate na un ibang tao at malamang habang nagre-review sila for thebar magyayaya sila uminom gabi-gabi!] Pero was maging selfish and materialistic at wag magpaka-busy maghang on sa kung ano meron ka dahil you might miss an opportunity. Kailangan mag-STOP and THINK. Next GUY is a person of authority or is dominating. BUSINESSMAN. Not emotional. Parang stone. [NEXT GUY pa lang na hula ok na ako e. I love being dominated. Businessman? Sabi nga ni Toi, taga-MBA! haha]
TAGUAN
Ako ang naturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasama ng pag-asa na sabay nating
tataguan ang mapangahas na mundo.
Kasabay ng pagkukubli ay ang liwanag
na magpapatunay ng koneksyon na
matagal din nating isinawalang-bahala.
Ako ang nagturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasabay ng pag-asa na sabay tayong
tatahak sa landas ng kawalan. At ngayon
hinahanap kita. Katulad ng paghahanap
na walang patutunguhan ito'y matatapos.
Ako ang nagturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasabay ng pag-asa na sabay
ngingiti ang ating mga labi at papatak
ang luha na bunga ng kaligayahan.
Ako ang nagturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasabay ng pag-asa na
mahahanap mo ako sa kawalan.
Ako ang nagturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasabay.
Ako sa'yo.
Ako.
Kasama ng pag-asa na sabay nating
tataguan ang mapangahas na mundo.
Kasabay ng pagkukubli ay ang liwanag
na magpapatunay ng koneksyon na
matagal din nating isinawalang-bahala.
Ako ang nagturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasabay ng pag-asa na sabay tayong
tatahak sa landas ng kawalan. At ngayon
hinahanap kita. Katulad ng paghahanap
na walang patutunguhan ito'y matatapos.
Ako ang nagturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasabay ng pag-asa na sabay
ngingiti ang ating mga labi at papatak
ang luha na bunga ng kaligayahan.
Ako ang nagturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasabay ng pag-asa na
mahahanap mo ako sa kawalan.
Ako ang nagturo sa'yo na mawala.
Kasabay.
Ako sa'yo.
Ako.
You Leaned...
... and I leaned back.
But that was it.
I wished that it is you.
The whole that I am looking for.
But you threw up and what little
romance that was left got drained.
All that's left are jokes, lines
that are half-meant.
That's what we are and what we will be.
We're half-meants.
Never whole.
Not even close.
But that was it.
I wished that it is you.
The whole that I am looking for.
But you threw up and what little
romance that was left got drained.
All that's left are jokes, lines
that are half-meant.
That's what we are and what we will be.
We're half-meants.
Never whole.
Not even close.
...
I don't get to look at you anymore.
We talk and we laugh and we drink
but we don't see each other.
Unlike before when we would both
look at emptiness and we'll understand
the things that are not said.
Unlike before when we would stare at
the smoke in front of us and smile
knowing that it is to each other that
we belong.
Now, we touch and we hug and we kiss...
But it's not the same.
Will never be the same.
We talk and we laugh and we drink
but we don't see each other.
Unlike before when we would both
look at emptiness and we'll understand
the things that are not said.
Unlike before when we would stare at
the smoke in front of us and smile
knowing that it is to each other that
we belong.
Now, we touch and we hug and we kiss...
But it's not the same.
Will never be the same.
Sometimes it hurts...
... but it's okay to know that I'm not the only one hurting.
This is not the time to be altruistic. Sometimes, you have to find happiness in other people's misery to realize how blessed you are.
SO much for Holy Week reflections.
This is not the time to be altruistic. Sometimes, you have to find happiness in other people's misery to realize how blessed you are.
SO much for Holy Week reflections.
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