GOOD [F]LUCK

Den: "Ah it's ok. Next week's good. Di naman nagp-prescribe ang paghear ng Mass. Enjoy the party then. And thanks. I need all the fuck I can get, things are so fucked up." WHAT DID YOU JUST TELL ME? Parang tigang na tigang a.
Euns: Ha it doesn't involve katigangan ok. All I'm saying is that we'll see next week and that i'm emotionally unstable right now that's why I need to go to mass and I need to be lucky coz I have five more exams. Don't you psychoanalyze me the wrong way. Di ka reliable at wala ka credibility sa pag-accuse ng katigangan. =P
Den: Sabi mo kasi you need all the fuck you can get e. Un pala you meant luck. Haha.
Euns: Ay Pota. Great. I am deeply embarrassed. Pota talaga. Tumatawa ako mag-isa dito. Leche.
Den: Tawang tawa rin ako e. Haha. Yaan mo, may mabibitag ka ding Adan. Wag nga lang un original na Adan, tanda na siguro un. Pag nakita mo na ang Adan mo, kahit dahon ng Santan lang ang idamit mo dun. Haha
Euns: Tangina. I can't imagine what you must've thought of me prior to the explanation. Pota talaga. Buti na lang you're not going to Rockwell today. Nahihiya talaga ako. CLassic. I shall blog about it, pero I won't say it's you.
Den: Hoy, hindi ko kinonsider. At parang ok pumunta Rockwell a. Kung buhay ay dyaryo, ito ung page sa entertainment section. Haha. Although, pwede din headline.
Euns: Putangina talaga. Sabi ko na nga ba may mali today e. Di pa talaga ako nakakarecover sa kahihiyan. Parang gusto ko maounta sa OBITUARIES. Grabe talaga.
Den: Haha, alam mo kung san ka dapat pumunta? Sa CLASSIFIED ADS!
Euns: Pakyu! Pakyu ka talaga! Cge add insult to the injury. Langya ka. Ikaw ay isang malaking tabloid!
Den: Haha. O cge na. Tama na. Ok lang yan. Concentrate on your exam. Goodluck. Haha. Now it feels funny saying that.
Euns: Wait, wait. You are such an sham. I rechecked what I sent and YOU FREAKING EDITED IT! Fraudulent! All this time I seriously believed that's what I texted! Ang gullible ko!
Den: Hahaha. Bothered talaga ah. Baka nagkaroon ng glitch ang networks. Haha
Euns: Asshole ka, asshole ka! I BELIEVED YOU! Sama mo. Pero 'twas a good laugh. Thanks badly needed that. Pero asshole ka parin. Now I have my peace of mind back.
Den: Hahaha, sorry. I had to test you. You keep on telling me di kita kaya asarin e. Haha. You should never really underestimate anyone.

-----
because naisahan nya ako dun, di ko na tinago ang pangalan nya. May bragging right naman sya na asarin ako e. haha

FUNNY THINGIES

"Birds of the same feather... get cut together." -Euns and Ces

"Pag nagka-dengue ako, papayat ako diba?" - Ricel [seryoso sya nun]

"Sa tingin ko talaga, kami ni John lloyd ang para sa isa't isa." -Pam

mel: Raffy, you want egg tarts?
Raffy: No thanks.
[after a few minutes]
Raffy: [kumuha ng isa]
after a few minutes
Raffy: Penge pa isa ha.
Euns: So, un ang ibig sabihin ng NO THANKS? =P

"Sa tingin ko talaga sya un nakita ko nag-commune with nature noon sa Starbucks. Sasabihin ko sa kanya, 'Ano ba yan ngayon lang tayo nagkakilala NAHUHULOG ka na." - Euns, on the alleged blind date

Euns: Wer u?
Mike: Coffebean in Greenbelt 3, why?
Euns: Pupuntahan kita dyan. Kailangan na kita halikan, di na kaya na puro emosyon lang.
Mike: Huh? Pupunta ka talaga dito?
Euns: Parking na ko. Who are you with?
Mike: Sister ko. Ano yan, trip mo lang pumunta dito?

Un na.

Ralph: Masahe naman.
Euns: ngii.
Ralph: Diba marami ka tinatagong angst sa mundo, suntok suntukin mo na lang ako para mailabas mo.
Euns: Kung alam mo lang kung gaano ako ka angst-ridden, matatakot kang magpamasahe sa akin.

FINALS Kasi, Lumalabas ang mga Issues

"I know all about love, and its traps. How it starts well, how mistakes are made, how in moments of confidence or unbearable pain. Things are said which can never be unsaid. How caution intervenes, and you behave like a polite friend, aching with the need to renounce that caution. If only to say intolerable things again. How those intolerable things seem to contain the essence of your knowledge of each other, of intimacy. -Anita Bookner, in "Look at Her" [message sent by Patring]

"All my life, i have accepted everything because I believe in this: Everything happens for a reason. The hard part is: FINDING OUT WHAT THAT REASON IS..." -sent by AM

FLOWER SHOP

She went to the store to buy flowers,
attempting to cure what's left
of her gloomy heart. They wilted
at the exact moment her hands touched
the thorns that made her fingers bleed.
Blood dropped and reached the floor
the same second the now dull red petals
touched her numb and tired feet.

She went back and asked the vendor why
the seemingly healthy blooms mocked
her optimism, he looked at her and smiled,
pointed at her heart that jumped out,
beating more vigorously every second
only to abruptly stop the next. Tears
began to form in her eyes but they refused
to fall. She gathered the wilted petals, walked away.

The girl never looked back, she was too far away
when she realized that she left her heart. She
continued walking and refused to return.
She looked at the already crumpled petals
on her hands, placed them inside that hollow part
where her heart used to be and walked again.
Then it began to beat once more, only this time
the beat was weaker. She didn't mind its weakness.
She knew the flowers will bloom again.

Goodbye to Neverland

"One of the worst feelings in the world is having to doubt something you thought was unquestionable."

The day finally came... "IT JUST HAD TO END"

The whole thing was a lie, an IMAGINED REALITY that blew up in uncontrollable proportions. Surprisingly, it doesn't hurt as much, I guess finality does something to the heart so it can finally stop bleeding. It's the promise of something better that keeps me from feeling pathetic. At least there really are no WHAT IF's now, only words about how i would close this chapter of my life in Neverland. No more tears'll be shed because of him, no more frustrations. Just relief that it's finally over. It may not be the ending that I hoped for but at least I know how and why it ended.
I still am happy and I still have faith in the fact that I will be happier. There is no room for anger, hurt or blame. It's just one empty and abandoned room that will be filled with the promising possibilities of what's to come.

I am not worried for myself because I will get through this, with more lessons learned and as an improved person. It isn't an open-ended story at least. It's a story that made me productive, made me feel again and made me realize that I still am capable of loving.

Yes, let me say once and for all that I might've loved him. Maybe I still do. I was so close to confessing. I am glad I didn't. But it's just a bright portion of a rather gloomy chapter. I wish him well, I wish for him happy times.

I am letting him live his life, I just hope I can finally live mine.

I dunno! I never SCUBA DOVE before...

Last night was supposed to be a "review night" for PIL but since everyone was so devastated after the TAX Exam, we sorta impliedly decided that it was gonna be a "CHILL OUT" night. Patty and Joan decided to watch ALL ABOUT LOVE while Ces, Haze and I decided to laugh the night off... then Rach came and the night became more interesting.

Of course the desert that is Joan's place was rained on by the presence of Jojo Miggy and Carlo who entertained us for about an hour.

[Joan stood up while we were chatting to check out the noisy
people outside]
Carlo: O, Joan... san ka pupunta?
[aburido tone]
Ces: Possessive a.
Euns: Yihee, bagong love team.
Carlo: Baka kasi may bibilin sya, ako na lang ang bibili.

Un na, Joan found a willing victim in her own series of backyard romance stories.

And of course, the ultimate loveteam for the night, the Juday and Ryan of Law School... Patty and Sep did not fail to entertain us. I felt so kilig merely looking at them. Thanks Sep for that half bottle of Red Horse.

It was ultimately a fun fun fun fun night that everyone deserved, I guess. Now, at 4 in the afternoon, i haven't even started studying for PIL. And that makes me a "pabayang bata" but to everyone who's gonna judge me, I am just gonna say.... "I dunno... I never SCUBA DOVE before!"

On Euns' and Haze's Churva Sessions

Ces: Ok lang magtampi-tampisaw, kahit nga snorkeling ok lang e... wag lang
un tipong nags-scuba diving na kayo jan.

Euns: Tama, bawal sumabmarine.

Ces: Ako nga nag-iipon lang ng seashells sa pampang e. Na-sunburn na nga ako di man lang ako nabasa.

Euns: Si Hazel nga, basang basa na un ulo. Di basta tampisaw.

FINALS SOLITUDE

view from the top [JUSTITIA]

Yosi Break from the STEPS

KALOKOHAN NIGHT

Scenario #1:

Tahimik na tahimik kami ni Ces, seryoso to the max sa pag-aaral, harassed kung harassed ng biglang sinambit ni Ces ng malakas... "JOHN LLOYD" Tinanong ko sya kung bakit nya sinabi un, at wala syang dahilan. Un na. Nagkaroon ng mahabang diskusyon sa mga pagnanasa ng mga tao kay John lloyd.

Scenario #2:

Pam: Di talaga ko nagagawapuhan kay Richard Cruz.
Euns" Cruz?
Pam: Ay, Gomez.
Ces: Un na, si Kiboy.

Scenario #3:

Sa ALL ABOUT LOVE
Nanay: Iha, bakit ka di kumakain, vegetarian ka ba?
Anne: Di po, Noranian po ako.

Lalaki: Minsan, kailangan mo magkamali para malaman mo na di un ang solusyon sa mga problema mo.

Scenario #4:

Ces: Guys, minsan naman habang nagtatampisaw kayo sa dagat [ng pag-ibig] basa-basain nyo naman ako.
Euns: Madali naman solusyunan ang problema mo e, akyatin mo na kasi ang beanstalk.
Ces: Takot ako sa giant e. Ang masama baka kasi Leprechaun lang... pero ok din, baka may POT OF GOLD.

Scenario #5:

Patty: Tigang na tigang tayo e. Parang Sahara Dessert. Buti pa nga sa Sahara uuulan paminsan-minsan.
Rach: Tsaka may cactus.
Euns: Jojo Miggy, diligan mo na kasi ang desyerto.

BUNTONG-HININGA

"I need someone who can prove to me that LOVE IS NOT A WEAKNESS."
-Patring

"Kailangan ko ng lalaki na pag kasama ko sya, pwede ako magpahinga."
-Euns

POST SECRET

images from POST SECRET

OPEN-ENDED STORY

"Baka may iba pala syang gusto?"
"Hello? Duh!"

It's weird, everybody's sure that he at least likes me, but I guess mere assurance from people indirectly involved is never enough. From one issue to another, I think that's how our non-relationship is destined to be.

"Magpahinga ka muna. Kakatapos mo lang sa last issue,
di ka na nakakarecover."

I am scared, now that it's sort of clear that HE can be the "HE" that I'm waiting for, I'm afraid that I might not be the "SHE" that he has in mind. If one's gonna ask me about what we have, all I am really sure of is that we're friends, really good friends. No matter how "obvious" they think his actions are, I can't seem to find it in my heart to strongly BELIEVE. A few of my friends tell me that I'm too cynical for my own sake but as much as I want to enjoy the "pagtatampisaw" and feeling of one-sidedly wanting him, sometimes I am attacked by my own insecurities. A lot of women are better than me and I always feel that the men I begin to have romantic feelings for deserve someone better. At the back of my mind, I always feel that I am OUT OF MY LEAGUE.

It's not something that I am proud of, it is true that I have a lot to give but I don't know if I can ever be enough. I didn't know if the EUNICE that I am is capable of being loved amidst all my imperfections and moments of insanity.

There are numerous moments when I want to look him in the eye and tell him that he need not look, I want him to realize that at this point in my life, I am quite sure that I have slowly fallen for him, deeply. Then I am reminded of the infinitely many times that I made a fool of myself by letting my feelings known and by merely giving in. I know I should feel, at least, a li'l happier that one cloud has been cleared.

Yet I feel so sure that it's but another OPEN-ENDED STORY.