Captured Emotions

Just like me, this "gingerbread man" is smiling though doom is just around the corner. Advanced Merry Christmas to me who's gonna be spending another year of waiting under the mistletoe...

the moon looked so marvelous that i had to take its picture... it's so faraway but it still shines.

what a disgrace. at least they corrected it a day after i took the pic.

Balitang Bali. (Pagtingin sa isang linggo)

Monday:
First day of class. Quote of the day: "Bago ang damit mo ah. Nagshopping ka no?" ~~ Ganun na ba ka paulit-ulit ang damit ko? Thank you ha.

Tuesday:
Met our Logic prof. Funny man.

Wednesday:
Mali ito. I waited, right outside what should've been my classroom for Criminal Law 2. I stared at the room from afar and said to myself, "this is what i get for being three points short". The more disturbing thing was, i felt calm. I didnt feel sadness, i brushed it off too easily. it's a big neon sign of DENIAL.

Everything was so surreal. One of the major proponents of our constitution is my Constitutional Law 2 professor and the pressure that i felt on that first day was just unbelievable. Father Bernas lang naman. I was called by Father Bernas to recite. I got a 1. (yeah, that is a good thing... UP grading system ito) But that's the happy side of it. I choked at the last part of my recit. But i still got a 1. I should be happy. Still I choked. And the emotional baggage will just go on and on and on.

Conversation of the day:
Euns: Ok ba si Fr. Bernas?
Girl: mabait sya, father nga sya e!
(ayun na.)

Thursday:
I got into a conversation with Melo, Shem and Yves about L-O-V-E. I will never forget what i said.. "The friendship excuse is BULLSHIT." It is true, if they are really friends, and if they decide to take it to the next level, if things turn out to be bad, the friendship will rise above the pain and it WILL REMAIN. Not as perfect as before but the respect will continue to exist. Btw, Mel's Lover is a very good writer. Mahal na namin sya. Hehe.

Today's the day that we saw a Ferrari. We were expecting a sorta-old man to come out of the car. But nooooo. The driver's a cutie. Drooled.

Jots and I had a "discussion" / pseudo-argument about buying a Ferrari instead of helping the people who will be thankful for a few pesos which they can receive in addition to what they have. I didnt agree that buying a Ferrari and helping are mutually exclusive. I dont think God will be angry that you are indulging when you have the money to pay for it. We even sorta argued about whose fault the "Hacienda Luisita" incident was (i know, lumang issue na ito). I even accused him of being judgmental. In the end we agreed that the wrong thing was that someone died. And i stopped myself from nagging him when he said, "i'm not being judgmental. that's why we are having this conversation..."

Friday:
I got to chat with Koko in the morning. Hay, Koks, miss ka na namin ng sobra.
We had our block picutre taken today. La lang.
Fr. Bernas is just sooo witty. I love his hirits. Consti is beginning to be really interesting.
Stayed at the "titanic" to do a few things for our appeal. Reserved tickets for our Harry Potter date tomorrow. Long dinner at KFC... chatted at Starbs.

Am I an Escapist?

Melo: Bakit ayaw mo sya kausapin?
Eunice: Ayoko lang. Ayoko na yata bumalik uli sa stage na un.
Melo: Escapist!

es·cap·ism

n. The tendency to escape from daily reality or routine by indulging in daydreaming, fantasy, or entertainment.

I dont daydream that much, i dont live in fantasies and well, the only entertainment-related indulgence that I have is myself and my friends... but i still think I'm an escapist. I exert effort to not lock eyes with him, to not give him a hint that I MAYBE have finally fallen for him and that I am desperately trying to dismiss the idea.

I am doing it for him. I think I am not good for anyone's health or sanity. Besides the fact that he is going through a really "difficult phase" and that I remember him saying something about not being ready... as much as I wanna believe that we have a chance, he continues to convince me otherwise. I try to not interact with him that much so we can preserve what little we have.

This whole thing is also beginning to be unhealthy for me. I find myself intensely contemplating on the words that he utters, on the gestures that he makes. I often catch myself wondering about how he perceives me, or if it's true that he occasionally stares or if I was just imagining the spark that i thought we have.

I think I will listen to what my guy friend told me... "Sabi ko sayo sapatos lang siya e. Kasi kung ako un lalaki tapos nanjan na kayo sa stage na yan, kumilos na ako kung gusto kita. Pero wala e."

He's just not that into me. Shit. I was not that into him a few months ago.. why did i allow myself to actually entertain such thoughts? Now I know why I'm running away... I am trying to escape the net of pain that might engulf me in the near future. If I dont act now, I may not have the option to escape anymore. Being an escapist, i think, will help me move forward. I hope so.

Nakakadiri.

He-who-shall-not-be-remembered updated his profile today. I checked it out. There was no harm in just checking on a friend right? Only that we're not really friends anymore. And the reason why i needed to take a look at it was because i was secretly hoping that he's not "that" happy. There was no way for me to know, i looked at his pictures and it all came back to me. How I made a big fool out of myself. Is it just me or are his shirts not that loose anymore? Nakakadiri.

I bumped into Backstreet guy a lot of times today. We even sorta locked eyes. I really think I should start smiling at him to establish the fact that we "know" each other. Nakakadiri, parang highschool.

I have a new "target" to exercise my stalking skills. Melo, Ana and I were chatting inside the car when we came into a decision that "this guy" is actually cute. It's funny because i thought i was the only one who was noticing him. Therefore, we shall be friends. Dont worry Ana, I'll get the info that we need. haha.. Melo, uhmm.. i know you're looking at me and saying "Loyalty dude!" but what can i do? My "other target" is just soooo slow. A girl's gotta do whatta girl's gotta do. haha. Nakakadiri, karir nanaman.

Nakakadiri itong entry na ito.

Conrado de Quiros: There's the Rub: Cry rape

I just had to repost this.

Conrado de Quiros: There's the Rub: Cry rape

Anong Balita?

Today, one of my sources of Joy shocked me by saying that he's not pursuing his studying law anymore. It came to me like an unexpected punch. IT IS REAL. People are saying goodbye, sooner or later. Only now, it's sooner than i expected. Koks, you are going to be missed... be the best congressman. Im looking forward to seeing you in ANC. hehe.

I had my "first ever barista lesson" today. Thanks to my ever-bubbly-pero-may-kasungitan friend, Jots. Now i know the meaning of a bad shot, and that i can only use this uhmm foamy thingie twice and that it shouldnt be mixed (though it's not that big of a deal).. Yeah, that made me smile. Merci dude. Apir!

Usapang Stubborn:
Jots: What's up?
Euns: The sky.
Jots: diba the roof?
Euns: pero mas mataas parin ang sky.

I went ukay-ukay shopping with Chorits today at Cubao. We came into a really funny realization, "madali kami mapagod". After sorting through all the racks of clothes in three ukay-ukays, we gave up. Nakakapagod. We went home happy, less than 500 pesos poorer but holding plastics of clothes. Ready for jogging? Hehe. At ito pa, Chorits is on a shopping-spree.. she bought a pair of pants in Giordano... anak mayaman.

Sikmurain mo ang iyong Paninikmura.

Mali talaga. Sinisikmura nanaman ako. Stubborn kasi ng sobra. Salamat Jots sa iyong "bakit nagkakape ka nanaman? dapat decaf na lang.. next time ha." hirit. Alam kong concerned ka lang, pero wala ka magagawa, matigas ang ulo ng kaibigan mong maarte. Sorry na.

Birthday ng aking minamahal na sister na si Hazel. Had dinner with my family. Enjoy nanaman as usual... Ang pamilyang matakaw. Bow!

Shit, masakit na talaga. Ayoko po lagnatin... matutulog na ako. Walang kwenta nanaman ang mga pinopost ko sa blog ko. Pagbigyan nyo na, next week di na ako mago-online sa weekdays. Isa itong panata. Ayun na.

Mukhang mala-late ako sa usapan namin ni Ana mamaya a. Oh well, ano pa ba naman ang bago. Excited pa naman akong mag-ukay. Yunis Bungisngis is signing off.

Ayayay Panday!

"at alam mo naman ang ating buhay, parang espada ni panday,... habang nilalagay sa apoy, lalong tumitibay... "--AM

How poetic. But 'tis true. Bring it on.

Very Interesting Pictures.

Nakakatawang Hindi.

Nadapa ako. Ito ang araw na pinaalala nanaman sakin ni Lord na pwede parin ako madapa. Sa UP Alumni Center, habang hinihintay ang resulta ng aking pagtira habang naglalaro ng Duckpin Bowling. Nakalimutan ko na naka-heels ako. Bawal itabingi ang paa kung naka-heels. Semplang. Plakda. Nadapa ako. Oh well.

Nakakatuwang Usapan ng mga Lango sa Pag-ibig.

Ganito, nagbowling kami kagabi. Minamalas ako, at patapos na ang laro ay wala parin akong strike.. Bigla kong nasabi sa aking sarili ng biglaan... "Lord, pag na-strike ko ito.. kami na ni SBL!"

Gumulong ang aking bola, tumama.. at may natira na dalawang pin sa magkabilang gilid,nanlumo at tumalikod na ako. Bigla na lamang nagwawala ang mga tao. Pagharap ko ulit at nakita ko na lang na naka-strike ako. Wala na. Natawa na lang ako at napasigaw.. "OMG, sabi ko kay Lord pag naka-strike ako.. kami na!"

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pagkauwi ay ito ang aming naging usapan ni Mumiel.

smyle_khyle: sinagot ka na ng diyos ah
jersee_d_goddess : ang "pag-usad"
smyle_khyle : strike euns, strike
jersee_d_goddess : oh well. tsamba lang siguro. haha.
smyle_khyle : the freaky part, the last pin that fell was mej mahirap. did you see how your pins fell.
jersee_d_goddess : well, magkabilang pins un di bumagsak na akala ko.
smyle_khyle : may naiwan isa na parang bumigay na lang para magstrike. yet sabay bumagsak.
jersee_d_goddess : pag talikod ko akala ko tlga di strike. tapos si haze bigla nagwawala.. i couldnt believe it. ang freaky.
smyle_khyle : meant to be
jersee_d_goddess : no, freaky.
smyle_khyle : strike siya talaga it's a sign. hallelujiah
jersee_d_goddess : ay wla na. :|
smyle_khyle : talaga bang wala na... ako sumuko pero, look what happened
jersee_d_goddess : di naman sa ganun.
smyle_khyle : pero.. :-w
jersee_d_goddess : kelangan ko tlga mag-aral e.
smyle_khyle : true, we all have to study. but, it should not be a reason to close the door.. leave a window open.
jersee_d_goddess : i know.. im just sayin na im ok na with it. if he moves then ok, if he doesnt i wont whine about it.
smyle_khyle : then why say na wala ng feeling
jersee_d_goddess : indifferent na ako. di naman wala nang feeling, ittanong ko ba kay Lord un kung wala na tlga db?
smyle_khyle : point.. He gave you the answer didn't he? just wait a while.
jersee_d_goddess : haha. maybe.
smyle_khyle : para siya siguro yung 2 pins
jersee_d_goddess : hahaha..
jersee_d_goddess : ang weird, ang weird.
smyle_khyle : natagalan bumagsak pero bumagsak nevertheless
jersee_d_goddess : hahaha. point, point. sira. we're just friends.
smyle_khyle : yes you're friends, but, accrdg to god, you'll be more than friends
jersee_d_goddess : haha.
smyle_khyle : lord, salamat sa strike
jersee_d_goddess : =))
smyle_khyle : when your window closes, it only means you're about to open the door
jersee_d_goddess : naks.
smyle_khyle : for him

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ang kwento ay kasalukuyan ko pa lamang na isinusulat. wait lang. di ko alam ang katapusan.