Dilemma (aww. No matter what i do, all i think about is you..)

Makulit ako.. i asked pa a few more people about my dilemma.

Amitzie: hmmm, he's trying to be vague.. giving you two thoughts to ponder on. its either he's saying "i like you, but im taking it slow so as not to scare you away" or he's saying, "i just wanna thank you. I hope you're not thinking of having our kids." hmm, but at least, of all people sa yo nya napiling magpakita ng feminine side nya. if you prove to be worthy of his kamotmotan, maybe, just maybe, you'll get to move a step forward. hmmm,tough... its so hard what to make out of him. Story of our lives. MIXED SIGNALS.

Francis: in general it could be that he's bein too comfy that he doesnt see you as someone he wants to be romantically involved with, or he's looking for a girl who doesn't mind him going out with other girls while he's in the relationship... ( so i asked, even if a started it?) well, if you started it, then that changes everything... its actually good when that happens, it means he wants to start clean...

Nalin: the problem is.. when do you take the leap? and who will initiate it?

Anton: cant speak in general kc everone's different naman... pero for me, thats a good sign na im comfortable enough with the girl that even though i like her, i can open up to her without being afraid that she'll complain/be jealous.

Donald: ewan ko..basta ako kung may gusto ako sa babae, chances are hinde ako mgkukwento ng tungkol sa ex ko kung mero man, unless ipapakwento nya..

This is beginning to be interesting.. Welcome to my talk show.. The Phantom of the Oprah! hehehe.

Every Li'l Thing Starts to Matter

I had to ask the opinion of my partners in "THe Perm" about my dilemma as of the moment and here's what they have to say.

Melo: It depends on how you take it. Kasi if di mo naman gusto un guy, nakakatakot un kasi usually manifestation un ng attraction/ affection for you. He's opening up.

Yv: Depends sa info na shina-share.

Haze: Negative opinion ko. Doesnt that mean na he's gettin too comfy w/ u? to the point na he can tell u everything? i mean guys dont usually do that to girls they like, do they? Di ba dapat nagpapa-impress sya? Or maybe he's just different talaga. Un lang.

Shem: as for too comfy, try getting to know each other. hindi ba kasama sa getting to know each other ang kwentong ex? hurting can be a way to say, i need someone new. why will you look at it the wrong way? actually, it's too early to tell. wait a while and see how it'll go. (i told her i might be beginnin to really like him and she said..) i think that's the reason youre paranoid. every little thing starts to mattter. the mind says one thing, the heart says another. you don't have to acknowledge something to know it's there.

Pahabol (sa text message) ni Kay: yunis! it's not a bad sign.. i think? Maybe he's just too comfortable with you. ay bad sign pala un. baka friend lang tingin nya sayo. :)

Shit. Am i really beginning to like him? Tama si Carmen, i should be studyin. I should be studying. Inaatake nanaman ako ng depresyon. Mag-isa lang ako sa bahay. Un brother ko may "spontaneous" thingie with his bandmates, they went to our resthouse in bulacan. Inggit.

NEWSFLASH: Si JB ng Pinoy Big Brother, gs at hs classmate ni Melo sa Koska. Hahahaha.Nakakatawa.

Nga pala, last night Melo gave me a ride home.. There were four of us in the car, Melo, Ceia, Lia and moi..MEGA traffic! Uminit na ang ulo namin, sinigawan na namin un nag-aayos ng traffic. Habang nangyayari ito ay may isang girl na tumatawid at nakikipaglaro kay kamatayan, pag sigaw namin (specifically ni Lia) siya ay nagulantang. Akala nya sya un sinisigawan, ang funny nun expression sa face nya. Sa gitna ng pagkainit ng aming ulo, Ceia blurted out..

"WHAT WILL THE WORLD HAPPEN IF THERE ARE NO PEOPLE WHO THINK?!!"
Natapos ang aming init ng ulo. Laugtrip na. Comic relief ito. Bow.

You Never Know

"We all deserve someone who deserves us. If you feel like you dont deserve her, chances are, she doesnt deserve you too." - Euns

Embodiment of how i feel. It's another THE END for me. Gotta start studying. I'm letting go of Mr. Brewing.

Isang Malalim na Buntong-hininga

One of the many things i learned in my Creative Writing classes is that I shouldnt be apologetic in the articles that I'm writing. I shouldnt come up with reasons of why my readers will think that i suck . Ngayon ko lang ito sasabihin. I dont think i write well. There are a lot of things that i wanna say, a lot of ideas that i wanna share and a lot of stories that i wanna put into writing but i dont think i'm writing 'em well. Before law school, i used to spend hours in Powerbooks, drinking coffee at Javaman while being enthralled by how writers weave their words into beautiful sentences.

I envy them. I wish i'm more skilled. No, i'm not apologetic. I'm just thinkin aloud.

The Collector

"The Collector" is a very interesting program in Star World. It's about people going into deals with the devil in exchange for their soul. But there is a chance for redemption, you have to repent... At ang extra for today's episode ay pinoy, they're talking in Filipino. It's about a Pinoy who asked that he be given the power to do surgery by hand (yeah, Magandang Gabi Bayan features), the devil gave him his wish and now his soul's being collected. Nice program.

The END

So much for being a stalker. Friendster allows people to know who views their profile. So there. I have embarrassed myself by checking other people's profiles frequently. The END of my being a stalker, or maybe not.

I'm in the "DI YATA PWEDE" stage of my shitty love cycle. A few days ago, i was so sure that something was "BREWING" but today, i'm totally doubting it. One moment, i feel so at ease with the fact that we're getting to know each other, the next thing i know, i'm contemplating on the possibility that he might be gay or that he's not really interested or that i'm totally misinterpreting this whole thing. I know i already asked him 'bout his gender. BUT I HAVE A HISTORY. Plus, his alleged-friend told me in class that according to reliable sources, he said he's gay. Hindi ito nangyayari. A few of my friends think we have something going on, but uhmm, what if he's another "GOOD FRIEND" in the making? Depression ito. Marami ang nagsasabi na "it looks like i'm not that interested" but the thing is, i really am. I just dont see myself building a future with him YET because nothing exceptionally romantic has happened between us. Gaya ng sinabi ko before, i'm giving the whole idea/ budding romance a chance until sem break... pag wala, wala talaga. THE END.

Last Thursday, Sir Vallente said goodbye to us for the sem. HE IS MY FAVORITE LAW SCHOOL PROFESSOR. It's sad that it's THE END for Crim 1.

Finals is just 'round the corner. THE END of my first sem in law school is near. If i survive this first sem, i will feel vindicated. I learned a lot in my 4 months in law school, finished reading the Civil Code, Revised Penal Code Book 1 and half of the constitution (with around 600+ original cases as jurisprudence).

Usapang pag-ibig ulit. Without really thinking about it, i nonchalantly uttered .. "I wish i'm in love." and voila, we got into a discussion about our hesitations in our own "relationships". Yvie, di ko sinasadyang ma-depress tayo, think Leg Res and Consti, hehe. I really wish i'm in love. I knooow i have a knack for being so distracted when im sorta in love, but i guess it'll help me survive everyday knowing that there's someone who will be willing to give me a hug at the end of the day. Shit. Depression ito. THE END ng aking "i shall not think about relationships" syndrome.

Ang Weird.

Ang weird ng gabing ito... Bakit? Basta.

I googled my name again and voila!!! Nakalagay na sa site ng UP School of Economics ang thesis namin ni Teepee Japhet. Yuckers. Land Issues and the Medium Term Philippine Development Plan. Parang totoo.

Im supposed to blog something.. but i forget. I didnt get called today for anything. We reported na for Persons and Family Relations... Good Job Phantom of the Oprah group. G'luck kina Chorizo, Ricky Boy at Joey Boy sa kanilang report tomorrow. Umaasa akong maentertain nyo ako.

G'luck to Jots para sa kanyang Final Exam in Art History later. Nawa'y nakatulong ako sa iyong "pseudo-review". Ipasa mo yan, importante ito! Let's go Madonna of the Long Neck! (winks)

Realization

Shem: Ano na ba ang status nyo nun?
Euns: Ganun parin.
Shem: Ano nga?
Euns: We're friends.
Shem: Just friends?
Euns: Friends.
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Sa tingin ko, di siya nagmamabagal... baka "He's just NOT THAT INTO ME." We're JUST FRIENDS until proven otherwise.
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Fave drink: Bevande in lattine and acqua minerale naturale
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I got called to recite today in Crim. Todo na 'to.
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Pag dumating ang sem break at wala parin... WALA NA TALAGA.

In Agony.

Literal. Hyperacidity ruined my day. T'was my bad really, i drank coffee early in the morning without eating anything. I feel so bobo. I got called in Consti, Crim and Stat Con, my friends said i answered the questions pretty ok but i felt like i should've done better. That's if i wasnt literally hurting. I had my first breakdown in front of my law school peeps. Parang tanga. I'm running out of luck. Thanks peeps for being there, for the pat on the back that i needed. Source of joy kayo.

We got to report in Consti. Isang malaking laughtrip. I sooo love my groupmates, they were all out in their performances. Pao pao's impersonation of Sir Ereneta was hilarious, and Joey Boy and Ricky Boy's Sex Balls cheer was just superb. Ang saya saya.

Sa Starbs natawa ko kay Mel. I was talking to an upperclass guy from law school when she texted me. What did she say? "Yihee. =)" Ayun na. Thanks Mel.

I'm seriously contemplating on stopping my daily trips to Starbucks. Naf-frustrate kasi ako tapos lately parang masyado ako distracted. Baka i need a change of venue.

FINALS NA. I need some inspiration. I need a date to jumpstart my reviewing for the Finals. I shall ask someone out. Argh.

Saktan nyo na lang ako.

A few days before the Finals.. Nawawala un Revised Penal Code (Criminal Law) book ko. Putangina. May Crim bukas. Tangina.

Weeping For Fiction

when will i weep for something REAL?