my sister celebrating w/ me.. me and my thesis partner, "siKat awardees" haha
from the tinkerbell-inspired dress to my toga..
on my way to the UP Film Center..
abby, atoy ang moi..
Graduation Snapshots..
What a journey it has REALLY been...
my sister celebrating w/ me.. me and my thesis partner, "siKat awardees" haha
from the tinkerbell-inspired dress to my toga..
on my way to the UP Film Center..
abby, atoy ang moi..
my sister celebrating w/ me.. me and my thesis partner, "siKat awardees" haha
from the tinkerbell-inspired dress to my toga..
on my way to the UP Film Center..
abby, atoy ang moi..
GET A LIFE
Jose Dalisay Jr., PhD
Address to the Graduating Class
UP Baguio, 23 April 2005
Former UP President (Francisco) Nemenzo - whom I was privileged to serve - was frankly not too fond of the phrase “iskolar ng bayan” to describe the UP student. We are all, of course, scholars of the people in this university, in the technical sense that our studies are subsidized by the sweat of the poor, whose hopes we bear upon our shoulders.
But the President's point was that scholarship remains a distinction to be earned not merely by scoring well in an entrance examination, but by adopting a lifelong attitude of critical inquiry and rational judgment.
This, sadly, is something that many of us lose upon our entry into the University and our immersion in its life - not only its intellectual and academic life, but also its social and professional life. The curiosity ends, the magic fades, the writing dries up, and we retreat to a cocoon - to a dimly lit room marked "Me & Myself" - there to spend the rest of our career sulking over the next fellow's promotion and so-and-so's research grant.
"Get a life" has been one of my lifelong mantras. I have always believed that while a formal education is a wonderful thing, what I call an active life - with all its serendipitous detours and little accidents - is even better. It is a cliché by now to say that there are many things we can never learn in school - but for those of us who are in school, it is even more important to remember this.
Some of the best things happen when we step outside of our own lives and begin to be engaged in those of others. Often, the answers to our own problems lie in others, and in their larger predicaments. While involvement in a great cause can also create its own kind of blindness to everything else, I believe that, at least once in our lives, we should embrace a passion larger than ourselves; even the disillusionment that often follows can be very instructive, and will bring us one step closer to wisdom.
One of the best ideas I ever heard came from a friend whom I used to play billiards with until the wee hours of the morning: "Everyone," he said while cleaning up the balls on the table, "should be entitled to make at least one big mistake."
I would not have been the writer I became if I had chosen the safe path and stayed where I was supposed to be. It took me two years to finish my MFA, and only three to finish my PhD. But before that, it took me 14 years to get my AB.
At 12 - like your chancellor - I entered the Philippine Science High School. As my parents never tired of telling anyone who cared to listen (and even those who didn't), I was the entrance-exam topnotcher of my batch, No. 1 of about 6,000 examinees. However, what my parents didn't say was that after my first year in Science High, I was going to be kicked out - with a 1.0 in English and a 5.0 in Math.
What happened? Well, you might say that I got a life. From the grade-school nerd who read two books a day in our all-boys Catholic school, I suddenly discovered girls, parties, and fun. What did I do? I used my 1.0 in English to save my 5.0 in Math, by writing a letter of appeal that began with "At the outset, let me say that I bear malice toward none." I guess it worked, because they put me on probation for a year, and I survived PSHS by the skin of my teeth.
At 16, I entered UP as an industrial engineering major - and promptly got a 5.0 in Math 17, for too many absences - the bane of the arrogant Science High graduate, even the perennial flunker like me who thought he already knew more Math than he needed to know.
At 17, still a freshman, I quit college - over the tears of my mother, whose fondest hope was for me to graduate from UP just like she did. I wanted to join the revolution, like many of my comrades; at the same time I was impatient to get a job.
At 18, I was working as a newspaper reporter covering hospital fires, US embassy rallies, suicide cases, factory strikes, and typhoon relief operations.
I spent most of my 19th year in martial-law prison.
At 20, I was a husband and father.
At 26, I took my first foreign trip.
At 27, I learned how to drive - and went back to school.
At 30, I got my AB, and decided that what I wanted to do was to write and teach for the rest of my life, so here I am.
I have been shot at, imprisoned, and worst of all, rejected by more crushes than I care to remember. Aside from my abortive career in journalism, I once worked as a cook-waiter-cashier-busboy-janitor, cutting 40 pounds of pork and chicken every day before turning them into someone's dinner.
Much earlier, I worked as a municipal employee, checking the attendance of Metro Aides at seven in the morning, and then I studied printmaking and sold my etchings cheaply by the dozen in Ermita. Incidentally, it was at that printmaking shop that I met my wife June, who's here with me today, and for whose patience with my colorful moods I am forever grateful.
Some of these events have found their way to my writing; most of them have not and never will. I believe that creative writing should generate its own excitement, beyond whatever may have happened to the author in his or her own life. But neither can I deny that my outlook has been influenced by what I have seen out there, as bright, as indelible, and as disturbing as fresh blood.
If we are to abide by the Phi Kappa Phi motto to "let the love of learning rule humanity," we should first ourselves be ruled by the love of learning - learning from books, and learning beyond them.
On the other side of the equation, let me observe that there is, today, a nascent but disturbing strain of anti-intellectualism in Philippine politics and society. The vulgar expression of this sentiment has taken the form of the suggestion that we can dispense with brains and education when it comes to our national leadership, because they have done us no good, anyway.
It is easy to see how this perception came about, and how its attractiveness derives from its being at least partially true. Many of our people feel betrayed by their best and brightest - the edukado, as we are called in our barangays - because we are too easily bought out by the powers that be. Marcos and Estrada had probably the best Cabinets in our political history, well-stocked with prestigious PhDs from places like Oxford and Stanford; but in the end, even they could do nothing against their President and his excesses.
For us UP graduates, the seductions of power will always be there. Power and wealth are also very interesting games to play, and few play them better than UP grads - the power side more than the wealth, as I suspect that Ateneans and La Sallites are better at making money than we are.
But even these can put you out of touch. I have friends in Malacañang and Makati who seem to have lost all sense of life, thought, and feeling on the street, beyond what their own commissioned surveys tell them. Worse, they seem to have lost touch with their old, honest, self-critical selves. They forgot all about Sophocles and poetry and mystery and music you can't buy at the record store.
To be a UP student, faculty member, and alumnus is to be burdened but also ennobled by a unique mission - not just the mission of serving the people, which is in itself not unique, and which is also reflected, for example, in the Atenean concept of being a "man for others." Rather, to my mind, our mission is to lead and to be led by reason - by independent, scientific, and secular reason, rather than by politicians, priests, shamans, bankers, or generals.
You are UP because you can think and speak for yourselves, by your own wits and on your own two feet, and you can do so no matter what the rest of the people in the room may be thinking. You are UP because no one can tell you to shut up, if you have something sensible and vital to say. You are UP because you dread not the poverty of material comforts but the poverty of the mind. And you are UP because you care about something as abstract and sometimes as treacherous as the idea of "nation", even if it kills you.
Sometimes, long after UP, we forget these things and become just like everybody else; I certainly have. Even so, I suspect that that forgetfulness is laced with guilt - the guilt of knowing that you were, and could yet become, somebody better. And you cannot even argue that you did not know, because today, I just told you so.
Address to the Graduating Class
UP Baguio, 23 April 2005
Former UP President (Francisco) Nemenzo - whom I was privileged to serve - was frankly not too fond of the phrase “iskolar ng bayan” to describe the UP student. We are all, of course, scholars of the people in this university, in the technical sense that our studies are subsidized by the sweat of the poor, whose hopes we bear upon our shoulders.
But the President's point was that scholarship remains a distinction to be earned not merely by scoring well in an entrance examination, but by adopting a lifelong attitude of critical inquiry and rational judgment.
This, sadly, is something that many of us lose upon our entry into the University and our immersion in its life - not only its intellectual and academic life, but also its social and professional life. The curiosity ends, the magic fades, the writing dries up, and we retreat to a cocoon - to a dimly lit room marked "Me & Myself" - there to spend the rest of our career sulking over the next fellow's promotion and so-and-so's research grant.
"Get a life" has been one of my lifelong mantras. I have always believed that while a formal education is a wonderful thing, what I call an active life - with all its serendipitous detours and little accidents - is even better. It is a cliché by now to say that there are many things we can never learn in school - but for those of us who are in school, it is even more important to remember this.
Some of the best things happen when we step outside of our own lives and begin to be engaged in those of others. Often, the answers to our own problems lie in others, and in their larger predicaments. While involvement in a great cause can also create its own kind of blindness to everything else, I believe that, at least once in our lives, we should embrace a passion larger than ourselves; even the disillusionment that often follows can be very instructive, and will bring us one step closer to wisdom.
One of the best ideas I ever heard came from a friend whom I used to play billiards with until the wee hours of the morning: "Everyone," he said while cleaning up the balls on the table, "should be entitled to make at least one big mistake."
I would not have been the writer I became if I had chosen the safe path and stayed where I was supposed to be. It took me two years to finish my MFA, and only three to finish my PhD. But before that, it took me 14 years to get my AB.
At 12 - like your chancellor - I entered the Philippine Science High School. As my parents never tired of telling anyone who cared to listen (and even those who didn't), I was the entrance-exam topnotcher of my batch, No. 1 of about 6,000 examinees. However, what my parents didn't say was that after my first year in Science High, I was going to be kicked out - with a 1.0 in English and a 5.0 in Math.
What happened? Well, you might say that I got a life. From the grade-school nerd who read two books a day in our all-boys Catholic school, I suddenly discovered girls, parties, and fun. What did I do? I used my 1.0 in English to save my 5.0 in Math, by writing a letter of appeal that began with "At the outset, let me say that I bear malice toward none." I guess it worked, because they put me on probation for a year, and I survived PSHS by the skin of my teeth.
At 16, I entered UP as an industrial engineering major - and promptly got a 5.0 in Math 17, for too many absences - the bane of the arrogant Science High graduate, even the perennial flunker like me who thought he already knew more Math than he needed to know.
At 17, still a freshman, I quit college - over the tears of my mother, whose fondest hope was for me to graduate from UP just like she did. I wanted to join the revolution, like many of my comrades; at the same time I was impatient to get a job.
At 18, I was working as a newspaper reporter covering hospital fires, US embassy rallies, suicide cases, factory strikes, and typhoon relief operations.
I spent most of my 19th year in martial-law prison.
At 20, I was a husband and father.
At 26, I took my first foreign trip.
At 27, I learned how to drive - and went back to school.
At 30, I got my AB, and decided that what I wanted to do was to write and teach for the rest of my life, so here I am.
I have been shot at, imprisoned, and worst of all, rejected by more crushes than I care to remember. Aside from my abortive career in journalism, I once worked as a cook-waiter-cashier-busboy-janitor, cutting 40 pounds of pork and chicken every day before turning them into someone's dinner.
Much earlier, I worked as a municipal employee, checking the attendance of Metro Aides at seven in the morning, and then I studied printmaking and sold my etchings cheaply by the dozen in Ermita. Incidentally, it was at that printmaking shop that I met my wife June, who's here with me today, and for whose patience with my colorful moods I am forever grateful.
Some of these events have found their way to my writing; most of them have not and never will. I believe that creative writing should generate its own excitement, beyond whatever may have happened to the author in his or her own life. But neither can I deny that my outlook has been influenced by what I have seen out there, as bright, as indelible, and as disturbing as fresh blood.
If we are to abide by the Phi Kappa Phi motto to "let the love of learning rule humanity," we should first ourselves be ruled by the love of learning - learning from books, and learning beyond them.
On the other side of the equation, let me observe that there is, today, a nascent but disturbing strain of anti-intellectualism in Philippine politics and society. The vulgar expression of this sentiment has taken the form of the suggestion that we can dispense with brains and education when it comes to our national leadership, because they have done us no good, anyway.
It is easy to see how this perception came about, and how its attractiveness derives from its being at least partially true. Many of our people feel betrayed by their best and brightest - the edukado, as we are called in our barangays - because we are too easily bought out by the powers that be. Marcos and Estrada had probably the best Cabinets in our political history, well-stocked with prestigious PhDs from places like Oxford and Stanford; but in the end, even they could do nothing against their President and his excesses.
For us UP graduates, the seductions of power will always be there. Power and wealth are also very interesting games to play, and few play them better than UP grads - the power side more than the wealth, as I suspect that Ateneans and La Sallites are better at making money than we are.
But even these can put you out of touch. I have friends in Malacañang and Makati who seem to have lost all sense of life, thought, and feeling on the street, beyond what their own commissioned surveys tell them. Worse, they seem to have lost touch with their old, honest, self-critical selves. They forgot all about Sophocles and poetry and mystery and music you can't buy at the record store.
To be a UP student, faculty member, and alumnus is to be burdened but also ennobled by a unique mission - not just the mission of serving the people, which is in itself not unique, and which is also reflected, for example, in the Atenean concept of being a "man for others." Rather, to my mind, our mission is to lead and to be led by reason - by independent, scientific, and secular reason, rather than by politicians, priests, shamans, bankers, or generals.
You are UP because you can think and speak for yourselves, by your own wits and on your own two feet, and you can do so no matter what the rest of the people in the room may be thinking. You are UP because no one can tell you to shut up, if you have something sensible and vital to say. You are UP because you dread not the poverty of material comforts but the poverty of the mind. And you are UP because you care about something as abstract and sometimes as treacherous as the idea of "nation", even if it kills you.
Sometimes, long after UP, we forget these things and become just like everybody else; I certainly have. Even so, I suspect that that forgetfulness is laced with guilt - the guilt of knowing that you were, and could yet become, somebody better. And you cannot even argue that you did not know, because today, I just told you so.
The Cold Booth [A Reaction]
a reaction to Slyde's blog entry, The Cold Booth...
that urge to look and sound happy for people who get strength and inspiration from you; that tiny feeling of warmth that's overpowered by the cold booth; the life that you lose for giving in to one yosi break; life's an accumulation of the littlest of things and what's insignificant right now will push you to the edge one day. you're a vagabond, you know how tough it is. Dont let depression unleash that crawling monster within you, have faith... it will pass.
Miss Nominated but never Crowned
last night was a blast, cant believe i won the beer-drinking contest [sinisikmura pa daw! partida..] Go E-2!!
i wanna say thank you to the stranger/s who nominated me in almost all of the categories for haraya. im now gonna officially call myself...
we have successfully thought of our other batchmates' "theme songs".. if you still dont have one, message me. [feeling.]
e.g
We made it.. i'll see you guys this saturday...
woohoo!
i wanna say thank you to the stranger/s who nominated me in almost all of the categories for haraya. im now gonna officially call myself...
"Ms. Nominated but never crowned"im so happy to announce that jeio now has a picture w/ us smiling. Aja!
we have successfully thought of our other batchmates' "theme songs".. if you still dont have one, message me. [feeling.]
e.g
Chiara : boomCongratulations UP School of Economics Batch 2005!
chiara, boom chiara boom yeye; Rojo: ro, ro, ROJO
boat.. gently down the stream... (laughtrip!)
We made it.. i'll see you guys this saturday...
woohoo!
Habemus Papam!
"Ate, may pope na!"
My sister rushed to my room, all smiles. I dunno if it was reflex but i just ran towards the television and watched with anticipation. I knew right there and then that i am watchin a very important part of history. I couldnt help but smile and record everything.
Habemus papam!
Vindicated..
Yesterday was worth wearing my 5-inch Goddess shoes.
Reason #1: I met two interesting and nice people, Mabel and Joy.
Maybel graduated from UST, she took up Legal Management. Her mom thinks her boyfriend embodies someone from an FPJ flick. Funny. Cool mom.
Joy got her degree in European Studies from the Ateneo. She passed the LAE but opted to stay with her alma mater. She studied in Austria for a month. She's technophobic.
Reason #2: I FOUND OUT THAT I'LL BE GRADUATIN AS A DEAN'S MEDALIST!
Woohoo! Need i say more?
Reason #1: I met two interesting and nice people, Mabel and Joy.
Maybel graduated from UST, she took up Legal Management. Her mom thinks her boyfriend embodies someone from an FPJ flick. Funny. Cool mom.
Joy got her degree in European Studies from the Ateneo. She passed the LAE but opted to stay with her alma mater. She studied in Austria for a month. She's technophobic.
Reason #2: I FOUND OUT THAT I'LL BE GRADUATIN AS A DEAN'S MEDALIST!
Woohoo! Need i say more?
Theme Songs..Team Songs.
This is a tribute to my friends who went to Bulacan with me to drink a pitcher of Redhorse in 5mins,that is after drinking a pitcher of what Atoy calls as "the poor man's vodka" while wishing for happiness and world peace to the tune of Choopeta.
Sam Boado
"i want Sam Boado to share, share the rest of my life.." [Somebody]
"i love you Sam Boado, pati na rin Linggo." [Jollibee commercial]
Annamitz
"Annamitz, anna lover, anna child, anna mother, anna singer, anna saint, i do not feel ashamed" [Bitch]
Eduardo
"Tell me when will you be mine? tell me 'duardo, 'duardo, 'duardo.." [Quando]
Bebang
"Bebang! Bebang! Oh baby when she moves, she moves.." [She bang]
Abby IRIBERRI
"Iriberri sa aking pagtulog, ikaw ang panaginip ko.." [Binibini]
"Abby your crying shoulder.. " [I'll Be]
Atoy
"Renato bakla! klaklaklaklakla, Renato shokla klaklaklaklakla.." [Babae Po Ako]
"Atoy isang pinoy sa puso't diwa.."
"They try to tell us we're Atoy-ang, Atoy-ang to really be in love... Bahay namin maliit lamang.." [Toyang]
Bon Burgos
"Burgos na ulan bumuhos ka't wag nang pigilan pa.." [Tuwing umuUlan at Kapiling Ka]
"Bon xi Bon xi Bon Burgos.." [Bom Xi]
DOnald Yasay
"Yasay, you only hear what i want to.. Yasay, i talk so all the time...: [Stay]
Japhet Paragsa
" (incoherent lyrics).... ayy Japheta... japheta.." [Choopeta]
"is-japheting pababa, pababa ng pababa.is-japhetting pataas, pataas ng pataas.." [ispageti song]
Eunice Zuleika Monsod
"Zuleika virgin..touched for the very first time.." [Like a Virgin]
"All Eunice is love..." [All u need is love]
"Im down on bended Eunice.." [On Bended Knees]
"monsoooood, caught up.. [Caught up]
Sanaysay na Walang Saysay
Minsan lang ako magsulat na Tagalog ang gamit, nahihirapan kasi akong makahanap ng mga salita na makakapagpaliwanag ng kung ano talaga ang gusto ko sabihin, masyado kasi akong nabababawan sa mga salitang ginagamit ko na para bang paulit-ulit lang ako, barok pa nga kung minsan. Parang ngayon, may kakaiba ako nararamdaman pero di ko alam kung ano. Para bang, bigla na lang ako napapangiti kahit wala naman nangyayaring nakakatuwa, bigla na lang ako nalulungkot kahit na di naman nakakalungkot. Un tipong, bigla na lang ako naiinis, nagseselos nawawalan ng kumpiyansa sa sarili kahit na wala naman akong karapatan magselos at kahit na alam ko na wala naman gumagawa ng masama sa akin. Un tipong naiirita lang ako ng sobra pag di tumutunog un cellphone ko kahit na wala naman talagang obligasyon un mga tao na I-text ako o tawagan ako. Nababaliw na yata ako, napaka..hmmm… unstable ko, ano ba sa tagalog un? Sa totoo lang alam ko na hindi “cohesive at coherent” itong sinusulat ko, alam ko na di papasa bilang isa sa mga magagandang “essays” na kikilalanin ng mga tao, bokabularyo pa lang bagsak na. E ano ngayon? Nakaharap ako sa computer ko, tapos ang tagal maka-connect sa internet, wala ako magawa, kumakanta ako tapos nawawala naman ako sa tono, gustuhin ko man sumayaw ayoko naman pagpawisan, madugyot e, kaya ito, nagsusulat na lang, kahit na walang saysay ang sanaysay (naalala ko na ang tagalog ng essay.) kahit na alam ko na pag natapos ko na itong sanaysay na ito ay hindi parin tutunog ang cellphone ko, di parin tutunog ang telepono ko, at wala ako matatanggap na kahit anong mensahe, ni smoke signal, galing sa kanya na ayun sa aking kaibigang manghuhula ay di ko pa nakilala at di pa dumadating.
Maayos naman ako ngayon, maayos ang takbo ng araw araw na mga pangyayari. May mga tao na kahit di ko pa ganun kakilala e nagpapasaya ng araw ko, may mga tao na dahil matagal ko na kakilala, nakakapagbigay sakin ng pakiramdam na ligtas ako, na may nagmamahal sakin, na kahit maraming kulang mas maraming biyaya na dumadating. Masaya magsulat, masayang gamitin ang bawat letra ng keyboard bilang mga sandata na tutulong sa akin para sumuong sa laban. Patingin-tingin ako sa cellphone ko, ayoko parin sumuko na may magpaparamdam. Pucha, nasan na kayo pag kailangan ko kayo??!
Ang mga tao ba nararamdaman nila pag may nag-iisip sa kanila, pag may nagiging miserable ang buhay dahil sa kanila? Pag may umiiyak dahil sa kanila? Pucha kung ganun malamang miserable na rin ang buhay nun tao na un. Malamang hindi. Ano ang point nito? Wala. Sinusulat ko lang kung ano pumpasok sa isip ko. Unedited,uncut. Kaya nga parang illogical e, parang walang ibig sabihin, parang napaka-random.. walang autocorrelation, kung ano man un. Pero kasi ganun naman talaga ang buhay diba? Napala-illogically logical, napaka-predictably random… sana di ako sikmurain sa dami ng coke at coffee na iniinom ko.
Bom Xi Bom Xi Bom Bom Bom... The Bulacan Story
taking a break from the "gambling spree"
abby, atoy and bonbon with moi...
my bedmates atoy and bonbon...
shades + us + moonlight = hilarious pic
" someday our princes will come." -- teepee japhet w/ the queen of sunshine amitzie
bonbon's affair with kelly clarkson..
abby, atoy and bonbon with moi...
my bedmates atoy and bonbon...
shades + us + moonlight = hilarious pic
" someday our princes will come." -- teepee japhet w/ the queen of sunshine amitzie
bonbon's affair with kelly clarkson..
Choices
Is there a good or a bad choice? What if your choice made a lot of people happy and left you miserable,is that a good or a bad choice? - YnaI think there are bad choices, im just not sure how we can accurately pinpoint 'em. Think of how connected and complicated the web of events is, there are indeed intended and unintended consequences. For me, the only thing we can do is to minimize the damage and not feel bad about things over which we have no control. A lot of people think that if their intentions are noble, things'll end up ok for everyone. But life's a stubborn bitch, it doesnt nod and allow you to go on and on and on in peace. Life will never be fair[Seventh Heaven]. If you choose or decide on something, stand by it, dont blame other people, be ready to be responsible for your actions. it's a classic move to end everything in style, End it with composure, whatever the problem is.
The idea of taking into consideration other people in making decisions is not that bad, it's an obvious act of selflessness. But just like everything else, it must have its limitations. we cant forever sacrifice our happiness just to please the people around us. At times, we have to choose that path that might hurt 'em in the process but will prove to be the right path in the long run. Life is ours to live, every choice we make leads us to our next step. Everything in moderation.
In my opinion, what's more important is how we handle our lives in a more "macro" kind of way. Being able to count your blessings has proven to be very therapeutic for me. I made a lot of wrong choices, wrong decisions in the past, at times i feel bad about 'em. But when the smoke of depression disappears, i make it a point to face life head on. Choices.. if destiny exists, choices are what happen after 'em. Destiny is a prelude to a decision, a choice..
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The Elevator Groupie
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