How to Lose a Guy in Ten Moves

 1. Wear your midriff-bearing top and do not maintain your inhale position.
 Bonus round: Scratch your stomach.
Expert round: Play with your navel.

 2. While waiting for food to be served and there is awkward silence, promptly blurt this out, “Hey, did you know that I make good animal sounds? You want me to demonstrate?”
a. If he says yes, demonstrate the ELEPHANT sound.
 b. If he says no, demonstrate the ELEPHANT sound.
Bonus round: Insist that he should do the sound himself.
 Expert round: Stand up and actually act like an elephant… for everyone to witness.

3. After the quite awkward elephant scenario, tell him. “Sorry ha, but promise, I’m really smart.”
Bonus round: Use the “Ako MABA” knock, knock joke.
Expert round: After he says, “Ako maba, who?” Laugh and tauntingly shout, “Wala ka pala eh! MABAHO! MABAHO! BAL! BAL!” While sticking your tongue out.

 4. “You know what I love to do? Wear wigs when I feel like it.”
Bonus round: Bring the wig out from your quite small clutch.
Expert round: Wear the wig.

 5. Emphasize every single point you make in the conversation with, “Woot woot!”
Bonus round: Do the “Suck it!” with hand gesture.
 Expert round: Do the “Woot woot!” – “Suck it!” combo. Oh, add “Boo yeah!”

 6. Nonchalantly say, “I want to get married soon.”
Bonus round: Instead of get married, say that “I think I might be pregnant.”
Expert round: Say “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

 7. On your way home, ask him if you can change your shoes because your feet hurt.
Bonus round: Wear Crocs.
Expert round: Wear socks with Crocs.

 8. While inside the car, put your feet on top of the dashboard.
 Bonus round: Adjust the side mirror using your foot.
Expert round: Adjust the aircon vent with your foot.

 9. Look him in the eye and ask, “What happened to you and your ex?”
Bonus round: Ask, “Did you love her?”
Expert round: Talk about your ex.

10. Divulge that you have either diarrhoea or dysmenorrhea.
Bonus round: Divulge that you actually need to go to the bathroom to poop or to fix your stain.
Expert round: Divulge that you have both and describe how you feel.

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