Social media makes you suffer little heartbreaks each day. Don’t get me wrong, I like all types of social media in all its privacy-invasive glory but as a person who has acquired the hobby of checking “What’s up?” in my timeline, I must admit that this hobby has also turned into a daily source of heartbreak for reasons that couldn’t have existed back in the day.
1. The heartbreak of not getting “liked” by someone you like. This is not the “you’re-kinda-cute-I-like-you” type of like. By now, we all have been accustomed to associating the word LIKE with that teeny-tiny button with a thumbs-up / heart sign that, in your heavily-infatuated mind, says a lot when you like someone.
Pros:
a.
He has gone to your profile. I seriously believe
that the “VIEW AS” option was made for a person who wants to be looking at his/
her profile in the eyes of the other person that he wants to be viewing it.
b.
He has, at least, taken the time to read
whatever useless link (or in my case, witty-without-seeming-to-be-trying-so-hard
status message / comment because if I’m not witty, what else would I post to counter
that other girl’s pretty / sexy / fancy / picture that she just posted on her
page?) that you’ve posted and has also taken the time to manifest his
appreciation of such post by clicking on like.
c.
He knows you exist, or that you’re friends in
Facebook / Instagram and has no problems with that. (Ok, this is quite stretching
it. But it pays to be optimistic these days, right?)
Possible heartbreak scenarios:
Minor: He has never liked any of your
posts.
Major: He has never liked any of your posts
but has liked every single post of the other girl that you feel may be his
type. WHY?! WHY?! WHY?
2. The heartbreak of seeing him having a life without you also known as posted pictures. So, you’re Facebook friends and you do go out once in a while (or not)… with friends and there was this one time when you invited him to hangout and well, he said he was tired (or insert other plausible excuse). BUT the next day, you see a tagged picture that you suspect was taken on the same day that he rejected your invite. Yeah, yeah, maybe he was just too tired to go to where you wanted him to go, there is that.
Pro: He is an independent person who knows
how to live without you.
Possible heartbreak scenarios:
Minor: He was not in the mood and the idea
of hanging out with you was not enough to change his mood.
Major: He doesn’t want to hangout with you.
PERIOD. He’s just not that into you.
Cure: Go to Thought Catalog and read an article
entitled, “8
Guys You Must Never, Under Any Circumstances, Fall In Love With”, make
him no. 9 and move on.
3. The heartbreak of seeing his chat indicator to be online and radio silence. It’s not like you expect him to always initiate the conversation. You have, in fact, initiated quite a number of random chatting which worked out in the end. But today you have decided that enough is enough – You are a traditional woman and you want to be voluntarily chatted with! - and then he goes offline.
Pro: Silence means yes. (That does not even
make sense!)
Possible heartbreak scenarios:
Minor: He is not that excited to chat with
you. Not after you told him a hilarious joke the other day that obliged him
into replying the carefully crafted message that is, “Haha!”
Major: He is still online and has just
opted to hide this fact from you. Yes people, there is an option to be
invisible to a select few.
Cure: Watch a video from Buzzfeed teaching
weirdos about “How to
Ask If Someone is Single” and move on.
4. The heartbreak of not being able to like all his posts even if you want to because well, you don’t want to be the weird girl who likes all his posts and writes an article about social media heartbreaks like you’re stalking him or something. Res ipsa loquitur.
There is no cure. Move on.
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