Aww

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from POSTSECRET

The Jump

"Akala ko ba sabay tayo tatalon? Ang nangyari magkaholding hands pa tayo sa
taas pero nun time nang mag-jump tinulak mo ko bigla! Naiwan ka nanaman sa
taas. Ako nasa baba na at tumitingala na lang sayo, umiilng-iling pa."
-Euns to an unnamed friend

haha.

--------

the "jump" is one\s decision to leave the past behind which in our case means, to leave a past love" behind.

Ang Sweet

Mike Lo sent me an unexpected message last night.. nakakakilig sa sobrang ka-sweetan.

"HAPPY MONTHSARY!"

Un na. Thanks Muffin. You're the best. I'll see you soon and I miss you. Hehe.

BAWAL DAW

sign in front of the Office of the Ombudsman

ang tanong ng bayan,

"IBIG SABIHIN MAY NAGTANGKANG TUMAE?"

Tuloy ang Ligaya

Rach: Yan si Eunice, sobrang daming boys nyan. At puro BIG FISH ang nabibingwit nya.
Euns" Ako? Di no! Iniiwan nga ako sa ere diba?
Zaf: Rach, baka naman kasi ikaw un traditionl way parin ang ginagamit mo, di na uso un fishing pole lang. Lambat na ang kailangan!

Zaf:Ano ang sinabi ng isang kilay sa kabilang kilay?
Euns and Rach: Ano?
Zaf: Hi BROW!

Pepe: It's better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than just stare at the line for the rest of our life. - Rules sa Patintero

Elliot:
Use in a sentence:
Different - Who is DIFFERENT of this poor boy?
Cadet - Sino CADET mo kagabi?\
Delicacy - DELICACY, mahuhuli na tayo!!

At National Bookstore:
Mom: [reading a book on Baby Names] Nis, dapat pala ang spelling ng name mo instead of ZuleiKa at ZuleiCa.
Euns: Bakit? (uh-oh, something's up!)
Mom" Ang meaning kasi ng ZuleiCa ay beautiful... and PLUMP. (Tawang malakas)

Sa Office:
Kuya Darius: Last year may intern na maganda, so YOSI girl... malaki un (does the big mammary glands gesture)

Zaf: May natutunan nanaman ako. Kapag pala isa lang kino-congratulate walang S.
Euns and Rach: [Blank look]
Zaf: Yan o.. [turo sa sign] Congratulation Atty. _______!

At ang best QUOTABLE QUOTE:

Ces: [On Love] Tandaan nyo lang ha, ok lang magtampisaw ang importante lang dapat MAYROON kayo PAMALIT pagkatapos.

I LOVE MY LIFE.

Of Gratefulness, Relief and Stopovers

When I look back at what transpired last School Year, I can't help but smile and occasionally laugh at how I managed to make my life a tad short of being a telenovela. It's comforting to know that I am finally at the stage where I have allowed myself to not only heal but also be happy for that colorful page. This summer, I am officially back in the ballgame with no qualms for giving in again to another adventure. It wasnt that bad really, although I was emotionally unstable, this same instability helped me to realize my self-worth and my being excessively blessed. God saved me from an undoubtedly worse situation. Now, I can look in the eyes of the clueless characters of my Neverland and face them with the same warmth that I have been continuosly giving them.

Maybe love really is just around th corner, I just haven't made the right turn yet. "Tumingin ka lang sa paligid mo at marami kang makikitang iba." I should really begin listening to Carlo, he successfully predicted the end of my Neverland and be was there every step of the way... patiently smoking with me and sending me messages with great timing, especially when I find myself in the most depressing of situations. I should've listend to Ana when she declared that Tinkerbell is not the guy that she sees in my future long before I have decided to give him the power to affect me enormously.

Maybe love is lauging at me for being such a drama queen over a fleeting admiration that's meant o distract me from finding the REAL "HIM".

I'm in a place where other people would die to be in. I see life now not only as a journey but a journey filled with worthy stopovers meant to enrich me with more stories that I can share with people who are not as blesses with my gift of odd experiences.

Kumbaga, nagpunta lang ako sa Bora pero imbes na mag-plane o mag-ship, nilangoy ko. Yun na.

Bwahaha

Zaf: [to Rach] Ang magandang surname ng mapapangasawa mo Mangot, o kaya
LOG. Yummy ka nun! Sy-Log.

Rach: [to isaw vendor] Manong, well done ha?
[nagkatinginan si Euns at Zaf, sabay humalakhak]

Rach: San tayo kakain? Sa mura? Morato.
Euns: kaya ba MURA-to?
Zaf: Wala na, nag-umpisa na.

LAUGHTRIP KAYONG DALAWA!

FUN FUN FUN

I wrote a very long entry about how fun my internship is but my keyboard is fucked up so it's hard to type. Shortcut na lang: Thanks Rach and Zaffy Zaf (ranco) for being amazingly entertaining... looking forward to more isaw dates, yosi breaks, lunch trips and kalokohans together. Sa mga tao sa Office of the Ombudsman.... RAKENROL!

Letter of Love no. 9

Hey,

It'sbeen a while since I wrote a letter for you...maybe because I am happy at present and I forget that i am in constant search for you. I stopped worrying because i know that our souls are entwined and that in the future we will share happy times. Happiness with you will be a whole new experience. It is going to be a level higher than where I am right now. The only thread that binds us right now is the hope that the unrelated things that we do will be related in the future. THank you in advance for inspiring me at present. Thank you for even if we don't know each other's names yet our souls have experienced long walks on the beach together, staring at the same sunset, staring at the vast space between us.

Let's Go Back to Me

Usapang Magkakapatid.

nagkkwentuhan ang magkakapatid na Monsod ng biglang nag-monologue ang lalaki.

Aldrich: Di ko talaga alam kung bakit di tayo magkakamukha.Pero buti na lang ako ganito un itsura ko. Ikaw ate, malaki un ilong mo, ikaw naman hazel maliit...ako tama lang. Ang iniisip ko na lang, dahil gwapo ako... Si ate naman matalino at si Hazel matangkad. Ok na un.

at doon nagsimula ang pambubugbog namin sa kanya.

-------------------------

Hazel:[iritable pa] Nakakainis, bakit kaya di ako tumataba? ang lakas ko naman kumain.
Eunice: [inis look] Ako nga dati tinatanong ako nun mga friends ko nun bata pa tayo kung kinakain ko un food nyo kasi ako lang ang mataba e.
Hazel: Tinatanong din yan ng mga classmates ko dati.
Aldrich: Ako din.
Euns: [helpess look]
Hazel:pinagtanggol ka naman namin e.

I've Been Doing a Lot of Thinking

... and I think, "He truly was an ass."

There. I typed it so I won't forget. No hard feelings. Just have to remind myself not to go "that way" again.

Sniff Sniff

"Won't you change the destiny of my life and bring good weather to my late winters? -Francois Mainard

Nice Woman: Dito na lang kayo sa office namin, if you're single you might find love here.
Euns: [sa isip lang nya] Naku, wag po. Di pa ako nakakarecover.

Eunice: The Apprentice

Ok, things definitely fall into their proper places. My internship at the Office of the Ombudsman will be starting this Monday and the Agra Internship'll start on the 13th of May. Woohoo.

I am on my way to apprenticeshipville. Welcome to the pseudo-real world Eunice.

KAMUSTA NAMAN?

Ichie: [Nanonood kami ng tahimik, out of the blue] Ate, siguro di ka na talaga papayat no?
Euns: [tingin ng masama] Salamat ha.

Habang nanonood ng Til There Was You
Daddy: Anak, sa ngayon pala kamukha mo si Judy Ann.
Euns: [gives dad a "I know what you're trying to pull look"]
Daddy: Pag tumanda ka at di ka nag-diet, si Marissa Delgado na kamukha mo.
Euns: [I knew it]

Mom: Buti naman nagpagupit ka na. Kasi dati, para ka nang di lang Nazareno e, pinaghalong Hagrid at Nazareno.

Hazel: Ate, sino ba si ___? Un lagi mo ka-text?
Euns: Friend ko.
Hazel: Ano ka ba! Ang tanda tanda mo na, friends parin? Mag-boyfriend ka naman!

I LOVE MY FAMILY.

Sharing Differences

"I don't wanna be with a man who's just like me. I wanna be with somebody who can give me something I can't attain by myself. I want to share differences." -Ally Mc Beal

That's why I am looking for an artist husband. Haha. I want my complement. I want someone who will not complete me but would fit the puzzle piece that is me. Soon. Soon.

New sem, new issues. Diba?

BLUE EYES BLUE

I thought that you'd be loving me.
I thought you were the one who'd stay forever.
But now forever's come and gone
And I'm still here alone.

'Cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you who made the tears fall down.
It was you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you, it was you who made my blue eyes blue.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

I thought that I'd be all you need.
In your eyes I thought I saw my heaven.
And now my heaven's gone away
And I'm out in the cold.

'Cause you had me believing,
You had me believing in a lie.
Guess I couldn't see it,
I guess I couldn't see it till I saw goodbye.

Chorus

'Cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you.

It was you who put those clouds around me.
It was you who made those tears fall down.
Only you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you, it was you who made my blue eyes blue.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

Scar Tissue

"Scar tissue is stronger than normal skin tissue."

So, the next time that you get wounded, you must be happy that it's a scientific fact, you are definitely stronger.

Ana, para sa'yo to.

YOU MADE ME STRONGER

Is it hard to believe I’m okay
After all, it’s been awhile
Since you walked away
I’m way past crying
Over you finding someone else
You turned my days into nights (days into nights)
But now I see the light
And this maybe a big surprise to you

But you’ve made me stronger
By breaking my heart
You ended my life
And made a better one start
You taught me everything
From falling in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you’ve made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye

If you try to believe I’m not over you
Go ahead
There’s nothing wrong with making believe
I know
Cuz I used to pretend you’d come back to me
But time has been such a friend
Brought me to my senses again
And I have you to thanked (I have you to thanked)
For setting me free (for setting me free)

Cuz you’ve made me stronger
By breaking my heart
You ended my life
And made a better one start
You taught me everything
From falling in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you’ve made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye

Think again
Don’t feel so sorry for me, my friend
Oh, don’t you know
I’m not the one at the losing end (I’m not the one)

Cuz you’ve made me stronger
By breaking my heart
You ended my life
And made a better one start
You taught me everything
From falling in love

Of Broken Things and Surprises

It is sad that friendships are affected by the saddest of circumstances. I hope and pray that things eventually work out so the hearts that were broken along the way can be said to have been broken not in vain. May all broken souls finally become whole...

It's true. It is in times like these that we realize how strong we are. Sometimes, we surprise ourselves with the things that we are capable of. And sometimes, we are surprised by the things that friends are willing to do for us.

I love surprises, especially pleasant ones. They make me believe that these surprises, though occasional, are meant to not only make me smile but also hold on...

Unrequited Love

"I became aware that the invincible force that has moved the world is unrequited, not happy, love..." -Memories of My Melancholy Whores by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

It is true. A lot of things have been written and said about love and a majority of these stories, essays and random notes are about love that's been kept secret, that's not been reciprocated . I guess that's how a lot of almost love stories are made, when love starts as one-sided and ends still one-sided. In reality, it may seem sad, tragic perhaps... but love that's unconditional, that continues to exist without hope of being rewarded, that continues to care without being acknowledged is, for me, the most special, cherished and difficult of all loves.

Nobody said that love should always be among lovers, mutual and sweet. It can be a love that is satisfied with looking from afar, or of merely knowing that the other exists, without hope of being loved in return. Tragic and simple. Bitter and eternal. Unrequited love is a force that's far stronger than anything that the world could ever grasp. Its beauty is deep and mysterious... complex and permanent.

GOOD [F]LUCK

Den: "Ah it's ok. Next week's good. Di naman nagp-prescribe ang paghear ng Mass. Enjoy the party then. And thanks. I need all the fuck I can get, things are so fucked up." WHAT DID YOU JUST TELL ME? Parang tigang na tigang a.
Euns: Ha it doesn't involve katigangan ok. All I'm saying is that we'll see next week and that i'm emotionally unstable right now that's why I need to go to mass and I need to be lucky coz I have five more exams. Don't you psychoanalyze me the wrong way. Di ka reliable at wala ka credibility sa pag-accuse ng katigangan. =P
Den: Sabi mo kasi you need all the fuck you can get e. Un pala you meant luck. Haha.
Euns: Ay Pota. Great. I am deeply embarrassed. Pota talaga. Tumatawa ako mag-isa dito. Leche.
Den: Tawang tawa rin ako e. Haha. Yaan mo, may mabibitag ka ding Adan. Wag nga lang un original na Adan, tanda na siguro un. Pag nakita mo na ang Adan mo, kahit dahon ng Santan lang ang idamit mo dun. Haha
Euns: Tangina. I can't imagine what you must've thought of me prior to the explanation. Pota talaga. Buti na lang you're not going to Rockwell today. Nahihiya talaga ako. CLassic. I shall blog about it, pero I won't say it's you.
Den: Hoy, hindi ko kinonsider. At parang ok pumunta Rockwell a. Kung buhay ay dyaryo, ito ung page sa entertainment section. Haha. Although, pwede din headline.
Euns: Putangina talaga. Sabi ko na nga ba may mali today e. Di pa talaga ako nakakarecover sa kahihiyan. Parang gusto ko maounta sa OBITUARIES. Grabe talaga.
Den: Haha, alam mo kung san ka dapat pumunta? Sa CLASSIFIED ADS!
Euns: Pakyu! Pakyu ka talaga! Cge add insult to the injury. Langya ka. Ikaw ay isang malaking tabloid!
Den: Haha. O cge na. Tama na. Ok lang yan. Concentrate on your exam. Goodluck. Haha. Now it feels funny saying that.
Euns: Wait, wait. You are such an sham. I rechecked what I sent and YOU FREAKING EDITED IT! Fraudulent! All this time I seriously believed that's what I texted! Ang gullible ko!
Den: Hahaha. Bothered talaga ah. Baka nagkaroon ng glitch ang networks. Haha
Euns: Asshole ka, asshole ka! I BELIEVED YOU! Sama mo. Pero 'twas a good laugh. Thanks badly needed that. Pero asshole ka parin. Now I have my peace of mind back.
Den: Hahaha, sorry. I had to test you. You keep on telling me di kita kaya asarin e. Haha. You should never really underestimate anyone.

-----
because naisahan nya ako dun, di ko na tinago ang pangalan nya. May bragging right naman sya na asarin ako e. haha

FUNNY THINGIES

"Birds of the same feather... get cut together." -Euns and Ces

"Pag nagka-dengue ako, papayat ako diba?" - Ricel [seryoso sya nun]

"Sa tingin ko talaga, kami ni John lloyd ang para sa isa't isa." -Pam

mel: Raffy, you want egg tarts?
Raffy: No thanks.
[after a few minutes]
Raffy: [kumuha ng isa]
after a few minutes
Raffy: Penge pa isa ha.
Euns: So, un ang ibig sabihin ng NO THANKS? =P

"Sa tingin ko talaga sya un nakita ko nag-commune with nature noon sa Starbucks. Sasabihin ko sa kanya, 'Ano ba yan ngayon lang tayo nagkakilala NAHUHULOG ka na." - Euns, on the alleged blind date

Euns: Wer u?
Mike: Coffebean in Greenbelt 3, why?
Euns: Pupuntahan kita dyan. Kailangan na kita halikan, di na kaya na puro emosyon lang.
Mike: Huh? Pupunta ka talaga dito?
Euns: Parking na ko. Who are you with?
Mike: Sister ko. Ano yan, trip mo lang pumunta dito?

Un na.

Ralph: Masahe naman.
Euns: ngii.
Ralph: Diba marami ka tinatagong angst sa mundo, suntok suntukin mo na lang ako para mailabas mo.
Euns: Kung alam mo lang kung gaano ako ka angst-ridden, matatakot kang magpamasahe sa akin.

FINALS Kasi, Lumalabas ang mga Issues

"I know all about love, and its traps. How it starts well, how mistakes are made, how in moments of confidence or unbearable pain. Things are said which can never be unsaid. How caution intervenes, and you behave like a polite friend, aching with the need to renounce that caution. If only to say intolerable things again. How those intolerable things seem to contain the essence of your knowledge of each other, of intimacy. -Anita Bookner, in "Look at Her" [message sent by Patring]

"All my life, i have accepted everything because I believe in this: Everything happens for a reason. The hard part is: FINDING OUT WHAT THAT REASON IS..." -sent by AM

FLOWER SHOP

She went to the store to buy flowers,
attempting to cure what's left
of her gloomy heart. They wilted
at the exact moment her hands touched
the thorns that made her fingers bleed.
Blood dropped and reached the floor
the same second the now dull red petals
touched her numb and tired feet.

She went back and asked the vendor why
the seemingly healthy blooms mocked
her optimism, he looked at her and smiled,
pointed at her heart that jumped out,
beating more vigorously every second
only to abruptly stop the next. Tears
began to form in her eyes but they refused
to fall. She gathered the wilted petals, walked away.

The girl never looked back, she was too far away
when she realized that she left her heart. She
continued walking and refused to return.
She looked at the already crumpled petals
on her hands, placed them inside that hollow part
where her heart used to be and walked again.
Then it began to beat once more, only this time
the beat was weaker. She didn't mind its weakness.
She knew the flowers will bloom again.

Goodbye to Neverland

"One of the worst feelings in the world is having to doubt something you thought was unquestionable."

The day finally came... "IT JUST HAD TO END"

The whole thing was a lie, an IMAGINED REALITY that blew up in uncontrollable proportions. Surprisingly, it doesn't hurt as much, I guess finality does something to the heart so it can finally stop bleeding. It's the promise of something better that keeps me from feeling pathetic. At least there really are no WHAT IF's now, only words about how i would close this chapter of my life in Neverland. No more tears'll be shed because of him, no more frustrations. Just relief that it's finally over. It may not be the ending that I hoped for but at least I know how and why it ended.
I still am happy and I still have faith in the fact that I will be happier. There is no room for anger, hurt or blame. It's just one empty and abandoned room that will be filled with the promising possibilities of what's to come.

I am not worried for myself because I will get through this, with more lessons learned and as an improved person. It isn't an open-ended story at least. It's a story that made me productive, made me feel again and made me realize that I still am capable of loving.

Yes, let me say once and for all that I might've loved him. Maybe I still do. I was so close to confessing. I am glad I didn't. But it's just a bright portion of a rather gloomy chapter. I wish him well, I wish for him happy times.

I am letting him live his life, I just hope I can finally live mine.