Y Speak? Why NOT Speak?

If there’s one thing that I’m very proud of about myself, it’s my ability to follow my dreams and achieve them if I really put my mind (ok, and heart) into it. Last Thursday, I did something for myself, at first it seemed like a stupid idea, it seemed like no one’s taking me seriously but my passion for it dominated my fears. I auditioned in ABS CBN to be a Y Speak! Correspondent. You can laugh now , I know you’re giving me a very weird look. It’s ok, it’s what my Mom gave me when I nonchalantly uttered my announcement, “ Pupunta ko sa ABS sa Thursday, naghahanap sila ng correspondent for Y Speak.” She laughed. I didn’t, and she realized that her daughter’s seriously contemplating in being on TV. For me, it’s inevitable. If there’s something that I’m sure I’m good at, it’s being the center of attention. I love the attention, may it be positive or negative. I love being talked about, I love being watched. In fact, I think I’ll be one of those people who’ll love being stalked. PSYCHO. It’s a craving I never outgrew. I would always look back at the time when I joined Little Ms. SM and won, I would always think of what might have been if my parents allowed me to continue to be in showbusiness, maybe I wouldn’t be in UP Diliman studying Economics but I’ll be one of the many Star Circle artists. Maybe, but that’s fiction.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

So there, until the morning of Thursday, I was very hesitant of going to the audition. I didn’t have anyone to go with me, I didn’t know how to commute going to ABS CBN and I wasn’t sure if a fat and ordinary-looking not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman would be appropriate for the role. Am I TV material? Am I eloquent enough? And the biggest question was, could I actually get out of my bed now and turn my back at the idea of just relaxing the whole day at home? Well, to make the long and boring story short, I did. I wore my pink shining-shimmering Buffalo stariray pants, my white look-at-me-and-please-do-take-me-seriously long sleeves and my maong I’m-not-that-dressed-up-buti-na-lang-fashion-is-my-life trench coat with of course, my pink and white don’t-you-dare-think-I’m-here-to-just-play mules. It was the best I could do, if I’m gonna flunk the audition, at least I have to look good. Finally, I dragged my ass out of my house and then… Rain poured like it was just waiting for me to decide before it thoroughly dampen my mood. Very good sign, you know what they say about rain = blessing. I had to dwell in that concept or else I would’ve headed back home. When I arrived in Megamall, I found out that another very unfortunate thing has befallen me. I stained my pants, I leaked. RED ALERT. DUGO. Blood. S-H-I-T. It was like neon signs were all over the place with the words. “Go HOME Eunice, you’re so not gonna qualify for the job.” I felt so fucked, so betrayed by my own blood. It was nature’s way to mock me for having too much faith. But then again, I’m one stubborn biatch. Nature wants to play, then I will play. I couldn’t take the stain off completely but wadda heck, kekerihin ko ito!

Almost There But Not Really

I rode the MRT and decided to take the cab from the Quezon Ave. station, I had no idea how to get there. I was just too glad that my cab driver knows his way around Kyusi, finally, I thought. Things are looking pretty ok. Great, when I got in the cab, it seemed like the driver seriously assumed that I work for ABS but when I made him drop me at the audience entrance, I think he dismissed me to be one of those MTB groupies who just dresses well. Then things began to fall into place, first, I made the right decision to make the cab drop me off at the audience entrance. When I asked the security guard where the Y Speak thing is, he pointed at a very long line of all kinds of YOUTH. He said something which made me feel good, “Ito na ang pambato, mukhang magaling.” I was flattered. I don’t care if he was just being sarcastic, still. I looked around and a lot of them are checking me out, not in a hooking up kind of way (I rarely get checked out nowadays), they were trying to weigh if I was part of the tough competition. Most of them came with their friends, but it wasn’t like I was petrified, not even intimidated, in fact I felt more powerful. I got strength from the fact that I went there alone, without anyone convincing me to go, and it says a lot about how much I wanted to be there. The usual outgoing me emerged, I began to talk to everyone around. When I went there alone, I didn’t intend to wait for my turn in silence. I met a bunch of PUP students, most of them are Mass Comm studes, younger than me and they were very friendly. I was glad. Then my HOTTIE RADAR alarmed. I said to myself, “ This is beginning to be more interesting than I expected.”

--- to be continued ---