Just Because I'm Lonely

*sighs
meet our official Starbucks cat, Cat.
while taking a yosi break at ground floor
kung sino man yang lovers na yan

Sabi ko nga.

Dear Eunice Zuleika,

Here is your single's love horoscopefor Tuesday, March
20:

Love may not be following your timeline now -- in fact, it may seem to be
taking its own sweet time. You know what they say: You can't hurry it. Relax.
It's much better to wait for the real thing.

In Fairness

Things eventually fall into their proper places. So I believe Carlo when he told me last Saturday na... "At the end of this sem, I have a feeling that your issues will finally be resolved. We don't know if it's gonna be in a good way or a bad way, pero feeling ko mare-resolve na yan,"

*keeping fingers crossed

Things are pretty stable again. [at the risk of being laughed at by fate again, I still am optimistic] Although there still are glitches, they're minimal as opposed to the beautiful things that are happening. I can't complain. Really.

I am sort of missing a lot of people... and sometimes I am strongly tempted to put everything in the open and just announce what I truly am feeling. But like all wise men would say, "Some things are better left unsaid." Just so we can maintain the more stable status quo. In that light, I am announcing that I can't wait for FINALS to be over just so I can be a li'l more normal.

I miss my old jolly self. I've been pretty off these past few weeks. Colleen pointed out that I am abnormally quiet... well it's true. And then she went on to saying that, "He's not just a friend. You talk about him, cry about him and he's changing you. He's not just a friend." Well, partly true, at least on my perspective. He actually IS a friend, nothing more. Although there's that hope of making him something more, which is kind of impossible because we rarely see each other and we never really had potential and well, he's uhmm, not into me. I guess. Just like a majority of the men I have been attracted to, I am just a friend to him. Never the girl friend material... never the woman being chosen. I'm always a spare tire. And that is quite TRAGIC.

Which brings me to my wanting to thank Colleen for treating Patring, Patty and I to a delightful night at UCC. It was worth not studying for. Seriously.

Hmm. I should stop before I end up saying something incriminating.

My Work Here is Done

[habang nagchichikahan ang magkaklase, pumasok ang 1D at nagulantang kami ng isang mala-pickup line na...]

Ana: Excuse me. [demure tone] May class ba kayo ng Saturday?

Di namin kinaya. We know na may logical reason, apparently tina-try nya itanong kung may nakaiwan ng laptop nun Saturday.. .Still. It was a pickup line. At least it sounded like it. Un na. My work here is done. Laughtrip talaga. Alamin ba ang schedule?

Never Outdated

Euns: Beanstalk, malapit na ang birthday natin.
Beanstalk: Ilang taon na ba tayo?
Euns: Ako mag-23 ikaw mag-24... Ang petty parin ng issues natin.
Beanstalk: Ano ka ba... LOVE IS NEVER OUTDATED. It always is a relevant
issue.

Tama.

Equally Mushy Friends

"In life we always search for answers because we want to prove to ourselves
that we had the right decisions, but the truth us, we can't search for what's
not there. Things happen because it's meant to happen. That's why we forgive
people even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us and we smile
despite every painful crash in our hearts. AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE LESSON WE GOT ARE THE ANSWERS TO OUR DECISIONS." -sent by Carlo Luna

"Everytime I try to forget the great loves I've had I partly succeed. But
as a consequence, I feel like a very real part of me has died, and that I've
become partly a monster." -sent by Miko Samson from an unpublished journal entry

"I want to be a redeemable share, so that when I'm no longer satisfied with
the one I'm with, the one who set me free could bring me back to her fold." -
sent by Elliot Mondez

"We are all looking for the wrong eprson... the right wrong person...
someone we could lovingly gaze upon and think, 'This is the problem I
want to have." -sent by Rach Sy

"It's always painful to know that someone is irrevocably gone and all
that's left are memories of beautiful days that have gone by... Sometimes
it's confusing why people fall in love and then say goodbye. Why they cannot
belong forever when at first, they can never seem to part." -sent by Ces
Pallarca

"We at times sit at one corner alone, appreciating life as we see it
through our eyes.. then suddenly, someone surprises us, shares that corner until
it becomes the world." -Eunice Monsod

I dunno which ones were originally written by them or which are forwarded, but sometimes, text messaging can be deep. Some are deeper than daily conversations.

Letter of Love # 7

Everyday, I wake up and choose the idea of you. Everyday, I get dressed and hope to be given the opportunity to be with you. 

How can an already numb heart still feel grief?

How can pain compound every second and succeed in jolting the numb heart into feeling despite the threatening prose of an unresolved mystery?

When are you coming to save me from my self-induced agony?

Please dream of me tonight. Dream with me.

Let our separate lives intertwine reality and fantasy. Let our future love blur the line between clarity and sanity.

FACADE

Date of Birth: 14/05

You may find that freedom is a core issue for you today, Eunice, and
that you are yearning to break away from a situation that has been dragging you
in for quite some time now. It could be that you have continued to play your
part in a certain role that was developed for you during your childhood.
Circumstances regarding your family led you to behave in such a way as a defense
mechanism and now you know of no other way to act. Shed this
facade.

Fine. I will not be afraid to be weak anymore.

RAPE

I was reading this article on STATUTORY RAPE being a common crime now and we sort of noticed a lot of quotable quotes.

"It is quite perplexing to the Court how the alleged victim can complain of
being raped and yet say, under oath, that she enjoyed the experience." -People
v. Burgos

"Absence of love notes, mementos or pictures casta doubt on the accused's
claim that he and the victim were sweethearts." -People v. Larag

"Love is not a license for carnal intercourse through force or
intimidation." -People v. Gecomo

Panalo diba?

DARK AGES

"Kamusta naman ang lamay?" -Patty

That was Patty's opening line to me yesterday afternoon when I gloomily entered my classroom... well, it was a sort of lamay. It was a wake for the temporary death of hope and faith and happy times.

"Our friendships are now in their DARK AGES." -Ana

And it's sort of true, a lot of issues have emerged and this, for me, is the most emotional sem yet.

"I've seen you cry a lot of times this sem Euns." -Joan

Argh, it's painfully true. It's sad really, looking back, I experienced an emotionally unstable sem. But according to John Cage of Ally McBeal, when you look back at what happened in the past year and you can't particularly remember any moment where you cry, the year is a waste. I guess I'll look at it that way, it was a fruitful year, a lot of discoveries, triumphs and yeah, disappointments. It was not a year of waste, i guess.

Even if our friendships are at our dark ages at present, I am continuously waiting for renaissance... the rebirth of good times, of normal times. I know that we have accumulated a lot of treasured memories that are more than enough to help us get past the problems that we are currently facing.

Kaya guys, let's all hang in there. Let's just hope that this summer, we can wash away all the sand that has mudded our judgment. Let's just hope that after this sem, good vibes will flow.

In the meantime, let's all study for the FINALS. Goodluck everyone.

...

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from POSTSECRET