Let there be Grief

"Contrary to that popular belief, what I have come to realize is this: Grief is not the enemy, it's just Love's army. It is Love's way of telling you that it is still there, somewhere. It is the reminder. It is the signal that you live on, that you have truly Loved...When it comes to someone you love, you don't move on. You carry on."
-- Anj Danila, An Entry on Grief

It's a refreshing take on grief. I remember saying before that when i get hurt, i don't totally move on, i just carry with me the load of being hurt until i get numb. I, as a feeling person, try to live each day while grieving for things and people whom I can't be with anymore. It's true, for as long as you find it in your heart to grieve, it just makes you remember that you are still capable of loving. It's a nice thought to ponder on, I've always seen myself as someone uncapable of totally giving love but after realizing that each day, i feel pain.. then I am able to accept that i still can love. I am still loving, despite and inspite of the trade offs.

STARE

I dread the day that I have to utter my words of g'bye. I dread the day that I have to look at you in the eye and tell you that you did great but I have to leave. I dread the day that I will hold your hand and hug you for the last time. I dread the day that I will stop adoring you.

I dread the day that I have to break the mirror so i cannot see you- again.

My old self.

You're doin great but I need to be better.

Tsinelas parin.

You've been worried about someone you care for who's far away from you now, and you're pretty sure that they've been less than forthcoming with you. Well, that may be the case, but if you don't know all the details, let them slide. They may have been trying to protect you from something you really didn't need to know. Hang onto one of the traits your sign is famous for: patience. Remember, it can make or break a friendship.

"sus, kung signs ang pagbabasihan naten, baka mabaliw na tayo hindi pa ren naten mafigure out"
-AM

In relation to my "Quest for the Missing Tsinelas" entry, i'm posting this rock song from Kamikazee. Kaya pala sila nagwawala nun kinakanta nya ito dahil "tsinelas" ang nakataya. hehe.

"tsinelas"

nasan na kaya?
nandito lang kanina,
hinanap ko na sa lahat
pero di ko parin makita...
wala sa kwarto..
wala sa banyo..
iniwan dito..baka kinuha mo!!!!!

chorus:
Nasan ang chinelas ko!!!!!!!!!?????
(ewan kooo!!!!)
Nasan ang chinelas ko???!!!!!!!!
tsinelas ko
tsinelas ko
tsinelas ko ( mandy moore putang ina!)
Nasan ang chinelas kooooooooooo?????

bakit ka ganyan?
marunong ka bang magpaalam?
hindi ka pa nakuntento..
kinuha chinelas ko
sisikuhin kita sa hita.
paguuntugin ko ang tuhod mo..
pag hindi ako nakapagpigil susuntukin ko ang kilikili mo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

(repeat chorus)

Nasan na?
tsinelas ko..
(nasan ang chinelas ko?)
hindi naman sayo yan eh!!
bigay pa yan ng lolo ko!!
malambot yan sa paa!!!!
nasan na??!!
nasan na??!!
nasan na??!!

(repeat chorus)

Animosity in Anonymity.

A few weeks ago, people panicked after Friendster came up with a feature that allows members to view those who checked their profiles out. I was one of those people who freaked out because of my stalking habits. Then they came up with the option to view profiles anonymously. I was happy about it. Until everyone went anonymous thus making the first feature pointless. I said to myself, this has got to stop. Friendster should encourage openness, they should come up with the condition that for one to be able to view those who viewed him, he should be willing to be viewed too.

Friendster didnt bring me down. They came up with the solution. Let go of your anonymity to gain the right to know who's viewing you.

There's nothing wrong with checking other people's profiles once in a while. It's the normal thing to do. Im stripping. I will be viewing the profiles and i will not be afraid to let 'em know. Naks. But the real reason is... i want to know who's viewing me. Nakakakilig kasi e. Kelangan ko lang kiligin. Mababaw ako e.

Napapailing na lang.

natatawa na lang ako sa lahat ng kamalasan natin.
di ako masyado naniniwala sa kapalaran o sa konsepto ng tadhana pero pag naiisip ko kung ilang beses na tayo pinaglaruan nito para di matuloy ang mga plano mo/ko/natin na maging magkasama, napapailing na lang ako.
siguro nga may ganun.
may mga bagay na maling-mali na kahit ang mga anghel sa langit ay gumagawa ng paraan para di matuloy.
napapailing na lang ako. di na kita hinabol kasi pag nahabol kita di ko rin alam kung may sasabihin pa ako.

----------
napapailing muli ako dahil ang aking quotable quote for today ay mula sa isang show na sosyal na sosyal... Ikaw ang Lahat sa Akin at sinambit ni Jeff Eigenmann nang nagpapaalam na sya kay Bea Alonzo.

"I've always wanted you to be in my fairy tales.. but i guess i'm just not your happy ending."

Go Uste.. Go Usteeee...Da Pichurs

sisters got nothin to do

Walang Pamagat

I plan on getting wasted.
Like an angel transformed
into a monster howling
in silence; scaring you
away. I will be tipsy.
I'll just be tipsee.Thee-pissy.
Deep sea. Tip-synchronized.
Murmuring with my eyes
shut. Dreaming without
sleeping. Slipping..Waking
up with a throbbing head
heart - head - pounding.
I still plan on getting wasted.
Not drunk, not intoxicated.
Wasted.

Go Uste. Go Usteee...

Today's the day i pigged out, bummed around and plainly stared at the moving world around me. I went to UST with my sibs because we "planned" to get my brother’s student's license after his enrolment. Knowing the nocturnal woman that i am, it was unmistakably hard for me to wake up at 'round 5:30 am to take a shower. We arrived at uste 'round 7am. My sister and I deicided to have breakfast first at Coffee Indulgence while Ichie headed to his college. Apparently, his enrolment was not as "easy" as we expected. In the mean time, a lot of really really bad signs came our way. Una, di nila mabuksan buksan un steel na nasa harapan. Sobrang ingay habang pinupukpok nila. Pangalawa, ang tagal tagal ng pagkain namin... di yata sila sanay na may nagoorder nun in-order namin. Pangatlo, nawalang ng kuryente. What are the chances diba? We ate a REALLY REALLY BIG MEAL. Think chicken, pasta and pizza. Served in a really big platter. Nakakasukang kabusugan nanaman.

So i told Jason that i'm in UST and that he might wanna hang out with me and my sis. Jason, the spontaneous and ever reliable buddy that he is positively replied, after he finished with the "encoding" part of his enrolment, he went straight to Coffee INdulgence to meet up with us. Kwentuhan nanaman, as if we didnt just go to the premiere night last week. haha. Then we decided to head straight to SM San Lazaro. That's only after much hesitation on our part because we werent sure if SM San Lazaro's a place we would really wanna go to. But since we had nothing to do, we decided to watch a flick.

We literally opened the mall. Because t'was just a 5-minute drive, we arrived at 'round 10. Surprise surprise, we had no choice but to watch Waiting. It was actually a battle between Waiting and Ispiritista (hahaha) but since we're laiteros, we opted to watch Waiting. Di namin kakayanin ang kahihiyan na ang aga namin para manood ng Ispiritista. Kasi naman napanood na namin ang Legend of Zorro. Argh. The ticket booth was still closed so we frolicked for a few minutes first, appreciated the cellphones on display and drooled. Payn, we didnt drool. Kwentuhan ulit. My sister Hazel managed to play the part of the "i dont wanna talk" woman. She just laughed when Jason and I said something funny but she didnt really join our conversation. Jason accused me of being the most madaldal part of our "trio" (Angel, Jason and Me) but I just told him that he wasnt silent at all when i met him. Di ako ang dahilan ng kadaldalan mo, aminin mo. Haha. WAITING's one of those flicks that would make you feel bad that you spent your money. Isang walang kwentang film. Di bale, may nag-make out naman na homosexual couple sa likuran namin. At least na-entertain kami. Then we headed to Chef d'Angelo to grab something to eat. My sis and I were still full after our HEAVY breakfast so we ordered their Potato with Bacon strips Soup and the Tiramisu Cheesecake. Yummy parin. Kwentuhang walang humpay muli. Jason, my sister said nakakatawa ka raw. Sabi ko sayo nakakatawa ka e. =P Kahit na corny ang jokes mo, nakakatawa ka parin. haha. Lakad-lakad ulit. Window shopping. Then Jason had to go back to UST.

After i kissed Jason goodbye (naks, parang pangromansa),me and my sister stayed at the mall for some shopping because we thought our brother will be finished at that time. But no, di parin. So at around 4, we decided to go back to UST to just wait for him there. But before we went back, KUMAIN nanaman kami. Tokyo Tokyo naman. Sumo Meal, California Maki, Miso Soup. Gluttony na ito. Gluttony na tlaga. Mortal sin. In UST we tried to just chill at their Sunken Garden-ish Field (sorry, i dunno how to describe it). Around 5:30, my sister realized that she had to pee. We cant go inside the colleges so we went to Burger King. Yep, you guessed it right, we bought FOOD.. AGAIN. Float, fries, burger, iced tea. Take out. At, what are the chances na masasarhan kami ng gate? So we had to walk to the other gate pa. Argh. Then we went back to the "field". Sa wakas, natapos din si Alrdich. We werent able to get nahis license, for obvious reasons.

But wait, there's more. On our way home, we bought food (again) at Jollibee. Take out. Pamumuhay Herodes. Tsktsk.

Warming Up...

What Your Pink Outfit Means

Unsurprisingly, you are very sweet and cute. But you're also a bit of a tease - and not that innocent. Shy but sexy, you're an alluring mix of contradictions. Designer match: BCBG Signature accessory: Tortoise shell sunglasses

What Does Your Favorite Outfit Say About You?

Men See You As Desirable

Men often find you immediately attractive and sensual You're honesty is refreshingly beautiful ... it draws guys in You are also able to be open with your feelings with no emotional baggage Packing light means you enjoy new relationships easily

How Do Men See You?

Ateneo Law 1C One Liners

"studyin-together-in-isolation"
"ayoooko-na!-di-na-namin-kaya-pero-walang-nagpapass"
"di-kami-aral-pero-masasagot-namin"
"nadedepress-kami-buti-na-lang-may-powerstation"
"natulog-lang-ako-kagabi-pero-may-digests-ako"

Our "Joint Horoscope"

You know how some cats love to have their backs scratched, but touch the tummy and they shred your hand? Your relationship has one of those extra-sensitive spots right now, and one or both of you is thinking, 'Oh, what could the harm be?' as you reach for it. Stop -- that is, unless you really want to deal with the equivalent of an all-claws attack (with some biting thrown in, too). Keep rubbing the nice, friendly places, and don't push it otherwise (not until later, at least).

Ok, i will keep rubbing the nice,friendly places. I WILL NOT PUSH IT. How apt. Thanks Mumiel. Hehe.