#DearYou,
This year, I learned that the best way to get the answers to your questions is to ask them yourself - even if the answer is the scariest probability that you can think of.
I learned that imagined realities are worse than painful realities and that assumptions can fail you when you've built them on your own.
This year, I've hoped that I might have finally found you, in between awkward silences, moments of vulnerabilities and rationalized certainties when, truly, I ended up just finding the desire again to be with you.
I got a bit impatient, tried to force what wasn't meant. Bumped my heart, and broke it, now it's left with some fresh dent.
All I did was keep quiet even if what I wanted was to tell the universe how beautiful things turned out to be just for rent.
This year, I got my heart a bit skewed again.
This year, thrice, I believed, felt relieved, lost my heart and had it retrieved, gave it away again only to be deceived, and finally found the courage to say 'enough' and leave.
This year, I learned that there is no need for me to bleed. This year, I realized that if it was love, we will heed. And if it isn't, it can't be a need.
Find comfort in knowing that when we finally see each other, the music that is the beating of our hearts will not be silenced by the love that can't help itself but be loud.
When I finally find you, I will know that it's you. Instead of having a kind of love that asks questions, ours will be the kind that will have learned from these lessons.
When I find you, you will say that it is you. You will hold my hand and I will recognize a connection that is true.
When you find me, you will know that it's me. I will hug you tightly and you'll finally feel that it is ok to be free.
Happy New Year, You.
It's another year, another chance to get here.
Until it happens, until we happen, let's make it happen.
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Pakahirap mag-type sa phone. I THANK YOU.
